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ebay 'BARGAINS'

Mr_Bo11ox

By Mr_Bo11ox
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Parky Rank: Isuzu Florian

Parky

Posted
Posted

For fucks sake, this went through ACA less than 3 days ago for £2400, and it is now already on sale for £3995.

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https://www.carandclassic.co.uk/car/C1006115

Yes, it is very clean, and yes, it has got a very low number of miles on the clock, but almost £4k for a Ford Sierra Estate is a bit much.

I think I know, or at least knew that Sierra. Back in 1998 I borrowed my then gf’s Dads Sierra Estate to take her and some pals to Norfolk. At the time it had 5000 miles on the clock. Looked exactly the same as this one, surely there can’t be many of them knocking around?

 

He used it to transport his dogs around and despite the low mileage and excellent condition the thing absolutely stank then. If it’s the same car the markup being asked is probably justifiable considering how long it would have taken to remove the smell and the hair. The interior probably needed Fatharris style stripping and Vulgarising and it would have been disgusting.

Pillock Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Pillock

Posted
Posted

If I ever win the Euromillions, I'm going to make it my mission to bid on all the classifieds with a "do not bid" etc, all the classifieds that turn out to be a guide price... Basically everyone who can't work out how eBay works will find me buying their auctions and causing a headache.

  • drivewaymyway, The Reverend Bluejeans, Fat_Pirate and 3 others
  • Like 6
HillmanImp Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

HillmanImp

Posted
Posted

I honestly cant even think of anything to say about this. What is the seller thinking.

 

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  • brickwall and richardthestag
  • Like 2
ProgRocker Rank: Lancia Gamma

ProgRocker

Posted
Posted

I honestly cant even think of anything to say about this. What is the seller thinking.

 

 

Lecture and case study exercise on 'How to ruin a decent car' 101.

 

This Volvo from 'the White Background co' keeps winking at me:

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/An-Exceptional-Volvo-440-1-6Li-with-One-Owner-and-29-812-Miles-from-New/282981251598?hash=item41e2ff3a0e:g:2D8AAOSwMM9bCDII

 

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  • warren t claim
  • Like 1
richardthestag Rank: Renault 16

richardthestag

Posted
Posted

in the world of madness that we live in an utterly hanging but complete and genuine pre 73 Range Rover might be worth two and half bags upwards.

 

so how much then for an incomplete pile of scrap, a 1980s 2 door wearing a Ringa J plate and two v5s?

 

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https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/two-range-rover-classic-2-door-for-repair-or-parts-1971-and-1972/153130430747

 

£12999

 

best fucking laugh I had all week

 

knock the last digit off and I still recon bidding would struggle to get past 2 bags

  • Squirrel2, brickwall and The Reverend Bluejeans
  • Like 3
warren t claim Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

warren t claim

Posted
Posted

Lecture and case study exercise on 'How to ruin a decent car' 101.

 

This Volvo from 'the White Background co' keeps winking at me:

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/An-Exceptional-Volvo-440-1-6Li-with-One-Owner-and-29-812-Miles-from-New/282981251598?hash=item41e2ff3a0e:g:2D8AAOSwMM9bCDII

 

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A mate has just bought one of these with 23,000 miles for £150 off a Chinese lady. He's sold the plate off it which was *888 LUK for £1500 and is stashing the Volvo away.

  • ProgRocker and The Reverend Bluejeans
  • Like 2
Angrydicky Rank: Lancia Gamma

Angrydicky

Posted
Posted

This dealer's got all the spiel.

 

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https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Vauxhall-Royale-1980-MOT-and-Tax-Exempt-Soon-Only-One-For-Sale-In-UK/232874161824?hash=item363861b6a0%3Ag%3A9XUAAOSwNppbZLQb&_sacat=0&_nkw=vauxhall+royale&_from=R40&rt=nc&_trksid=p2047675.m570.l1313.TR2.TRC0.A0.H0.Xvauxhall+royale.TRS0

 

 

 

Suggested Retail Price Once Restored: £7,999

Estimated Value In 10 Years: £25,000

 

Yeah righto m8

 

 

 

 

Valuer's Comments: "Ultra rare Vauxhall. This is the only one in the UK for sale. Beautiful velour interior and get this....it's a one owner car. That's right, no previous owners. So if you are fanatical about Vauxhalls and want a Royale saloon in your collection then this is the one to restore.  Ok the bodywork doesn't look great but the car is solid. Needs a battery but has been started and it fires up and goes in to all gears.

This one is so perfect for you collection.  You know that every collection needs a Vauxhall and this has to be the best one to get! Appreciating useable classic and cheapest in the UK by far. Don't be the guy who said 'I remember when these were peanuts and now they are mega money' ten years from now. Reserve with only £100."

 

 

So reading between all that waffle, it's a rough, unloved old barge then.

 

We source vehicles of significant interest from all over the UK. We add a modest 10% margin on whatever we buy them in at. This is to cover our transport, advertising and labour costs to leave a small profit in it for ourselves. We do have to eat you know!

 

I've got nothing against dealers buying cars for profit but this is a barefaced lie. They paid £495 for it on eBay a fortnight ago!

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Classic-Vauxhall-Royale-1-Owner-Barn-Find-Must-be-put-back-on-road-Very-Rare-/273368611559?hash=item3fa609fae7%3Ag%3A21cAAOSwQ2JbVMYB&_nkw=vauxhall+royale&_from=R40&LH_Complete=1&rt=nc&nma=true&si=0woC5Bg7VICL05RRVfmQeV1oeqc%253D&orig_cvip=true&nordt=true&_trksid=p2047675.l2557

bramz7 Rank: Lancia Gamma

bramz7

Posted
Posted

Oh awesome I can trade in my Mercedes G Class for a rotten Royale, and pay the rest off over 4 weeks with a token deposit!

 

Said no one ever.

  • Crispian_J_Hotson
  • Like 1
sierraman Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

sierraman

Posted
Posted

Should say ‘don’t be the guy who spent £20,000 restoring something that will be worth less than £2,000 when finished’

 

I love these adverts where they go on like they are some sort of classic car consultant. A bit like those dickheads that used to take a millers antique guide to a car boot.

Mr_Bo11ox Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Mr_Bo11ox

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I think you've found the new PURPLE HELMET!!

  • Angrydicky, Wilko220 and Junkman
  • Like 3
Alexg Rank: Lancia Gamma

Alexg

Posted
Posted

Jesus wept, what a load of utter tripe. I particularly like this useful part of the appraisal:

 

Drive: 6 out of 10

 

What do they expect anyone to glean from that information?

  • Insideimsmiling and Angrydicky
  • Like 2
lesapandre Rank: Talbot Tagora

lesapandre

Posted
Posted

Extraordinary advert. Even if the car was ok it would put you off getting involved. Its some sort of parallel universe. 

  • Bamboocarman
  • Like 1
quicksilver Rank: Renault 16

quicksilver

Posted
Posted

Even the 'professional valuer' mate of Bernie and Mario would struggle to convince anyone that a Vauxhall Royale will ever be worth 25 grand. The owner of that black Viceroy at Willington reckoned he'd struggle to get more than 2k for it and it's a LOT nicer than that crusty old heap of bilge. Seller clearly has delusions of grandeur and aspires to be dealing in Porsches and Ferraris but in reality is stuck at the bottom of the ladder.

  • Insideimsmiling and Bamboocarman
  • Like 2
jcr Rank: Austin Maxi

jcr

Posted
Posted

Jesus wept, what a load of utter tripe. I particularly like this useful part of the appraisal:

 

 

What do they expect anyone to glean from that information?

It will drive 6 times out of 10

  • The Reverend Bluejeans, Wilko220 and Lacquer Peel
  • Like 3
Felly Magic Rank: Isuzu Florian

Felly Magic

Posted
Posted

What about a tin corner estate that has had an engine fire and is fucked in the engine bay, no MOT or logbook for £4200? Using the Motorhog breakers yard photos. What a cunt, it's worth about £500 in that state

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Ford-cortina-estate-mk5/153134655180?_trkparms=aid%3D888007%26algo%3DDISC.MBE%26ao%3D1%26asc%3D51875%26meid%3D510e03cc981541b6ac3446d2dae7bd2b%26pid%3D100009%26rk%3D1%26rkt%3D2%26sd%3D173465182407%26itm%3D153134655180&_trksid=p2047675.c100009.m1982s-l1600.png

  • Lacquer Peel and Insideimsmiling
  • Like 2
The Reverend Bluejeans Rank: Isuzu Florian

The Reverend Bluejeans

Posted
Posted

Talking of chancers, check out this twat:

 

£62'000 for some old 325i that was breathed on lightly by Alpenis. Woooooo.

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Alpina-C2/123296064051?hash=item1cb504a233:g:nrIAAOSwsc1bJOkP

 

Herr Junkmann will spot the flaw in the gushing prose that gushed out of a cow's arse.

 

And then spot the fatal flaw in this pristine steaming turd: A Mars Bar* to any of the GGG Glosop Powerhaus crew who spot it.

 

 

*Terms and conditions apply. See reverse for details. A cash alternative is not available.

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Felly Magic Rank: Isuzu Florian

Felly Magic

Posted
Posted

Did Alpina not remove the BMW propeller badge and replace it with their own logo, or am I barking up the wrong tree here?

The Reverend Bluejeans Rank: Isuzu Florian

The Reverend Bluejeans

Posted
Posted

Nope. It's a more fundamental flaw in this front ended heap of shit. What happened to the E30 in late 1987? Bavarian Retro should know.

 

Oh, Alpina did not develop the CSL. That was BMW Motorsport under Martin Baumgart und Jochen Neerpasch. Get it right you fucking jumped up pretentious Daleys and your white bullshit walls.

  • Bamboocarman
  • Like 1
The Reverend Bluejeans Rank: Isuzu Florian

The Reverend Bluejeans

Posted
Posted

Did Alpina not remove the BMW propeller badge and replace it with their own logo?

 

 

No they did not. Only UK Pikeys do that.

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