Things that put me right off

[Rocket88]

Bad spelling and grammar 

Number plate obfuscation 

Following phrases…

“Drives perfect/ brilliant “

”stunning “

” Never bothered me”

” Easy fix”

”POA”

 

[eddyramrod]

"No keys/V5"

[Rocket88]

AI speak….

[ETCHY]

No time wasters.

 

[hairnet]

drove when parked

photos not taken properly

[eddyramrod]

"I no wot its worth."

[tom13]

The locations beginning with B.

Also if you don't put a price on an ad you want too much money for it.

[wesacosa]

Ads that just list the engine size and equipment and say nothing else at all about condition, work done etc

People who don't put a price 

[motorpunk]

AI.

Sleek.

[Erebus]

Terrible photos or complete lack of

[Erebus]

Absolutely filthy and full of junk

[sierraman]

God where do I start…

Bad grammar, really no excuse for this in this day and age. ‘Breaks’ springs to mind. 
 

BCA backgrounds because they’ve not even had it delivered to them yet on account they’ve not even got adequate trade cover. 
 

3D plates - naff

DIY servicing - I don’t doubt there’s some very capable people out there but I’d say 75% of them aren’t. Everything done up FBT, claws full of copper slip on the pads and where their dad has done an oil change with the wrong oil

Where it is - it’s been covered off a hundred times but some areas it’s more likely than not to be total shit. Looking local if it’s in a shit arse part of town then it’s probably going to be a nail. 

Bullshit like it just needs this, that the other. It’s invariably total bollocks. 
 

‘Trade Cars’ or any venue attached to a car wash. 

[JJ0063]

Salesmen who think they know more than you 

[sierraman]

11 minutes ago, JJ0063 said:

Salesmen who think they know more than you 

I had that once. Asking me about my family, work etc. Why is that any of his concern, I don’t need to know his domestic circumstances? I remember reading some sort of article someplace and this salesman who was under some delusion that the customer needed to get on his good side. Like he was the gatekeeper to the deal. Delusional or what. 
 

[Rocket88]

16 minutes ago, sierraman said:

I had that once. Asking me about my family, work etc. Why is that any of his concern, I don’t need to know his domestic circumstances? I remember reading some sort of article someplace and this salesman who was under some delusion that the customer needed to get on his good side. Like he was the gatekeeper to the deal. Delusional or what. 
 

Think it’s in “ staff training “ these days… “ how are you today”? and other such banalities….

[comfortablynumb]

Slightly off topic, but when I was in the trade, we had one dopey bitch of a manageress, who wanted us to answer the phone with "Good morning/afternoon, thankyou for calling xxxcc service department, this is xxxc speaking, how may I assist you today?"

Bearing in mind that the only people who had the number were also in-house, and knew they were ringing service department, and didn't give a flying fuck who answered the phone so long as someone did, and they got whatever problem they had at that time sorted, I refused to answer with anything other than "Service ".

I told the idiot supervisor that by the time I'd said all that to someone who didn't care anyway, I could have finished the call and been onto the next one🤷

[MiniMinorMk3]

Best one around.

Never raced or rallied.

One lady owner.

Fully restored in original condition.

Lowered suspension.

Drainpipe exhaust.

Stickers up the doors advertising tyres and/or oil and/or stereo.

Facebook # - youtube link in rear window.

Any type of seat cover

Obvious signs of filler in arches or doors.

M badge on anything other than an M

Blacked out rear lights.

MPV or SUV

[horriblemercedes]

I always get a bit baffled about sales techniques. If I want it the product I'll buy it, if I don't want it, I won't buy it. I am happy to have a chat while I decide, but it won't make a bit of difference to my decision as to whether I like the product or not.

 

Equally, if I go to see a Citroen C4 at a dealership and it turns out to be a bit crap and I don't want it, there's no point suggesting a Ford Focus that's in stock. I came to see that car, so I might as well go home now I've found out it's not for me. But I suppose for some people who don't care and just want 'an car', it is just what they want.

[goosey]

“Lovely condition”

[sierraman]

9 minutes ago, MiniMinorMk3 said:

Best one around.

Never raced or rallied.

One lady owner.

Fully restored in original condition.

Lowered suspension.

Drainpipe exhaust.

Stickers up the doors advertising tyres and/or oil and/or stereo.

Facebook # - youtube link in rear window.

Any type of seat cover

Obvious signs of filler in arches or doors.

M badge on anything other than an M

Blacked out rear lights.

MPV or SUV

I saw one the other day. ‘As good as they get’ on a Focus Mk3, shit stickers all over it, painted calipers. If that is as good as they get then I’ll just not bother and catch the bus. 

[sierraman]

10 minutes ago, horriblemercedes said:

I always get a bit baffled about sales techniques. If I want it the product I'll buy it, if I don't want it, I won't buy it. I am happy to have a chat while I decide, but it won't make a bit of difference to my decision as to whether I like the product or not.

 

Equally, if I go to see a Citroen C4 at a dealership and it turns out to be a bit crap and I don't want it, there's no point suggesting a Ford Focus that's in stock. I came to see that car, so I might as well go home now I've found out it's not for me. But I suppose for some people who don't care and just want 'a car', it is just what they want.

I Once went to look at a Vectra for the sister in law, it was in a dog shit part of town round the back of some shops - that alone would have prevented me putting my shoes on but her money her choice etc. The guy was very insistent we went only round the block, unfortunately I took a wrong turn and we ended up on the dual carriageway where it went on to boil its bollocks off, by the time we’d took it back to base it had ran out. 

[colino]

The reason good car salesmen ask good questions is that they often have to be the grown up in the conversation.  Just because you've got your Christmas bonus doesn't mean that 911 is going to be any good to you when you know 99% of your time is spent ferrying around your four, chunky kids on dad duty.

Back to topic.  Cars pictured in clearly not the sellers residential street.

[KWhite]

'First to see will buy'

[Datsuncog]

"No MOT but will pass first time"

Well if you're that confident, go ahead and put a year's ticket on it.

Oh, what's that?

You already tried and it failed on eighteen different points?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

[HMC]

The generic retail background that some places have behind the car. Looks like a large white  showroom , slightly out of focus.

Often in a real photo, whats in the background tells you just as much about the transaction as the image of the car itself. 

[bramz7]

Don't see it often but on older cars (say a 406 with electric seats and windows) and the phrase 'electric pack'. 

Or stuff like:

' if you're reading this advert you're well aware of how desirable these are...'

 

No, I'm just an old car pervert and I'm obsessed. 

[Matty]

Hate to side with @barefoot here but names.

"We have decided to part with Doris. She is a beautiful old Morris".

Fuck off pal. It's a car. Pretending it's an old women doesn't add value or desirability 🙄

[Dick Cheeseburger]

'Only been used by Mavis to pop to the village shop twice a week on Wednesdays for the last 10 years' 

= It's rogered

[comfortablynumb]

Spare never used 

Yeah, because you spent a week driving about on a flat tyre

[dozeydustman]

Bad spelling and grammar (though I do consider where the seller may have English as a second language given their Faceache/Gumtree profile)

eBay AI flannel

Potato resolution or blurred photos

Photos taken at night.

One side or end not pictured

No interior shots

Photos where seller hasn’t bothered cleaning their kids’ detritus up

Number plate partially or wholly obfuscated

Non-Original or OEM wheels/exhaust/‘performance’ mods

Facebook/Gumtree ads написано на русском языке. I have nothing against Russians, Belarusians, Ukrainians etc, I know some really decent folk from those regions. Son in law, being from Latvia, speaks a little Russian, he got a reply to the same car I messaged about with “no sell you” as the reply when we were looking for wheels for him.

Radio silence after arranging a date and time to meet, or wanting to meet in a public car park, pub, basically not their home or forecourt.

‘Pay by Western Union’

L@@K