collection mission to SPAIN!!!! COMPLETED IT M8

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Hey all,

I've barely posted anything on here for a couple of years (or indeed anywhere, I have pretty much canned all internet posting since Twitter turned into a bin fire) but I've got something interesting coming up and we all love a good collection thread so lets see how we get on here.

I've not left the country for several years now although I used to love travelling. Nowadays, an unenthusiastic-about-travelling Mrs_Bo11ox, a no-longer-valid dog passport, all the br*x*t bollocks and just the hugely increased cost of everything (particularly channel crossings), make the bar much higher for getting off shite island. But a few weeks back, after scanning Leboncoin and Wallapop for the 1000th time, I said 'fuck it' and decided to treat myself to a new old heap with a decent collection mission. I warned Mrs_Nuts that I was doing it and she'd just have to manage without me for a few days, which to my surprise didnt cause too much friction.

Since buying this book a few months back I've had a mega urge for one of these noisy, flimsy shitters and I've watched quite a few coming and going on those two sites. Messaged a few sellers but never reached 'critical mass'

 

This one had been on Wallapop for ages, located in Spain, but on French number plates. I like the later ones that look a bit 'end of the line' with the smooth doorhandles and later dash that looks like an Avenger. Also love the 70's colours these come in, bright oranges and metallic greens and whatnot (although most of the metallic-coloured ones all seem to have lost their lacquer years ago). Anyway metallic chocolate brown sounds good to me. 1300€ was the asking price.

Anyway I struck up a convo with the seller and he seemed decent, honest and that, didn't mind waiting a bit for me to collect. Sent a few videos by whatsapp which revealed an honest looking old motor, one rear wing in grey primer, and noisy but not unhealthy-sounding engine (theyre always noisy these things arent they, known for tappet rattle). He said it had belonged to his wife's parents from new but now he needed to move it on cos he was not big into old cars and it was just a hassle he could do without, although he was still bobbing about in it here and there.  

What about the logistics? Well the car is just outside Valencia. After some researching I found I could leave home (Derbyshire) at 8 am and catch a train to Stansted, then jump on a ryanair flight and be in Valencia by 6pm ish. Seller said he would come and pick me up from the airport so I could in theory be heading home the same day in my new brownmobile. So that all seemed alright as well. I'd been looking at a few old heaps in the S of France and seeing if I could get there on the train, its certainly doable but its a €250+ touch - this was a lot cheaper (albeit worse news for polar bears).

Still chit-chatting with the seller he sent me a few more pics where I saw one of the rear doors is a bit sad. But by now I had pretty much made up my mind to buy it anyway.

 

I had a ratch on Leboncoin and found someone selling a few Simca 1100 panels including 2 rear doors that was very close to my likely route North. Obvs these will need painting but I have recently bought myself a spray gun and am steadily learning how to use it (been spraying panels from my Mazda 929 with increasingly shiny results), so that's all manageable I think. 

https://www.leboncoin.fr/ad/equipement_auto/2450559206

So, all the moons were slowly coming into alignment. The seller knocked 100€ off to cover the cost of some doors, and he also offered to leave the insurance on it for my journey home (!) and so we did a virtual handshake. I sent him €200 deposit and started booking some travel and some time off work.

So, heres the route.

2000km. I'm flying out on the Wednesday and need to be back at work the following Monday. Belpech is where I'm picking the doors up and Paulmy is the home of Mutha Bo11ox who I am gonna drop in on too. Got hotels booked for the Weds and Thursday nights and I'm hoping to do the Paulmy-Derbyshire leg in one go if I can, on the Sunday. Thats just under 600 miles in a day in a Simca 1100, I don't know if thats too ambitious or not but I'm gonna get moving at the crack of dawn and if the car has made it that far, I'm thinking it'll probably be OK. But will I? I'm nearly friggin 50 man. 600 miles in an 1100cc car with 4 gears and no headrests? Jesus. I doubt very much I'll be getting to work on time on the Monday.

Still, I honestly can't wait. I'll just have to down a big cup of the old 'getoverittaccino' from a roadside cafe or something if it all gets too much on the last leg. What I'm really looking forward to is the Thursday and Friday when I'm driving through Catalonia and the Pyrenees on my own, in the sunshine (hopefully), stopping here and there for a drink or a bite to eat or a leg-stretch or whatever. Seems completely blissful.

The seller later realised that French law says he has to sell the car with a recent MOT, pass or not. If he doesn't, he can't declare it sold at his end (actually I knew this myself but forgot all about it in the excitement) Being in Spain he can't take it for an MOT so now I have to do it!!!! I've got to drop in on an MOT station on the way home so thats another little job. (Seller is paying for it). I'm staying in a B&B near where the replacement doors are, so I'm takin it for its MOT on the friday morning.

Anyway thats the big mission. I am taking a check-in bag so I can bring some tools and I keep thinking of more and more things that I should take - 3/8 socket set, some screwdrivers & spanners, pliers, cutters, cable ties, tape, WD-40, spare points & condensor, mechanics gloves, head torch, jubilees, fuel pipe/hose, wire, photocopied maps, power bank, bluetooth speaker, sun hat, fuck knows what else. Got a week to think of more stuff as I'm setting off a week on Wednesday. Fingers crossed!!!

 

 

[LightBulbFun]

Awesome! glad to see another thread from the Bollox himself  

 

Chodspeed for Wednesday! I am most looking forward to Le updates as they happen

[jim89]

Greetings fellow insomniacs 😮

[EyesWeldedShut]

5 hours ago, Mr_Bo11ox said:

(theyre always noisy these things arent they, known for tappet rattle)

That'll keep you awake on the journey - takes me back a bit*. 
Safe journey (you nutter). Spanners crossed.

[Spottedlaurel]

Wonderful! Makes your Starlet collection mission of many years ago look a bit tame.

Don't forget your camera. Pretty sure you'll see some good stuff on the Thursday and Friday.

These Simcas remind me of a primary school dinner lady who had one new in the late '70s.

[Gompo]

Looking like a top trip, good work so far. Great to see a post from you again.

[garethj]

Excellent idea, I think achieving this will do you some good.  We all need reminding who we are from time to time, and you’re the bloke who will attempt this.

Can’t wait for the updates.

[loserone]

I am so looking forward to this.  I want to do a 305 soonish so please include as much detail as possible.  

[Dave_Q]

I thought the casual 929 post the other day was a pretty big comeback but this is gonna absolutely shatter the shitedaq crockmarket when this happens.

A trip like this is living everyone's dream, chodspeed.

[brownnova]

Thread of the year, already.

 This sounds frikkin awesome, and the sort of epic shit I would love to do.

Good luck, and can’t wait to read all about it! 

[Surface Rust]

Don't forget your tyre levers!

Looking forward to this! What happens if it fails the CT?

[grogee]

"I'd pretty much made my mind up to buy it already" 

Can relate. 

This is a proper adventure in the name of Seventies shite that Shirley is going to reveal new and interesting ways to FTP.

Honestly, the best of luck to you. I get nervous about driving the Maestro more than five miles, I need to MTFU. 

[jim89]

7 minutes ago, Surface Rust said:

Don't forget your tyre levers!

Looking forward to this! What happens if it fails the CT?

Indeed.. any mileage (soz) in getting it nearer a "park it up if it fails place" before submitting it for the CT? Then you could feasibly head back on foot & retrieve later....

Or I could have completely ze wrang end oof ze stück 🙂

[HillmanImp]

I've often spoken to mates about doing something similar. Something like, 3 of us just get on a plane to somewhere in Spain or southern France armed with some cash, pick up 3 localish snotters and drive them home. Like a reverse banger rally. 

When we're back we van even sell the cars to cover the cost of the holiday. 

Anyhow, best of luck with this. 

Are you buying some 'likely to break' spares here before you go to carry with you, picking some up there or just winging it? 

[jim89]

Just now, HillmanImp said:

I've often spoken to mates about doing something similar. Something like, 3 of us just get on a plane to somewhere in Spain or southern France armed with some cash, pick up 3 localish snotters and drive them home. Like a reverse banger rally. 

When we're back we van even sell the cars to cover the cost of the holiday. 

Anyhow, best of luck with this. 

Are you buying some 'likely to break' spares here before you go to carry with you, picking some up there or just winging it? 

Go get me an early 2cv van please 😁👍🏻

[Dave_Q]

I think under french law if it fails the CT then it's a case of "bof" and you can still drive it for a number of weeks or days while waiting for the village garage to open next Tuesday and fix it for you.

So shouldn't stop you driving it home from a legal perspective.

[KruJoe]

Seeing this has made my day  
Welcome back, Mr_B!

[HillmanImp]

16 minutes ago, jim89 said:

Go get me an early 2cv van please 😁👍🏻

Probably a bit out of my price range but if they're cheap that would be ideal. 

[cort16]

Now thats what I call a collection thread 2024.

It sound like the kind of collection mission many of us would like to do but don't have the nerve. I drove over the Pyrenese about 10 years ago and it was really good all be it in a  Honda Civic.

What's the average cruising speed do you recon? 55mph?

[Surface Rust]

Just now, HillmanImp said:

Probably a bit out of my price range but if they're cheap that would be ideal. 

Most are 425cc or something though, it would be the first collection mission measured by the passing of the seasons...

[Dick Cheeseburger]

Superb comeback, and you've not even set off yet. I've ended up falling down an internet rabbit hole reading about the Simca Poissy engine, finding out that it debuted in 1961 and ended its run 30 years later in the Peugeot 309. That's a cracking run for a lump which made people snort with 'skeleton wanking in a biscuit tin' jibes. 

Great to have you back posting. Add a dashcam to your crib list so you can share some of le scenery footage. 

[rusty_vw_man]

Great trip there - lovely driving scenery, an unknown 50bhp, Spartan interior, work deadline to add that frisson of pressure. 

I am so jealous! 

[HMC]

Great! Hoping for Phil Lllewelyn travelogue with some added Bo11ox

Have a great trip!

[Split_Pin]

 

[sdkrc]

Top tip: Offset the cost of collection by bringing back shitloads of drugs 

[loserone]

Wonder if you can still get that delicious squidgy Moroccan black out that way.  I'd get back into drugs big time for that.

[a60rod]

The outlaws in Switzerland had the aforementioned metallic green version. The tappet rattle was as much part of it as the original Beetle exhaust noise. Good Luck with the collection and great to see you back. 

[Turbowomble]

1 hour ago, loserone said:

I am so looking forward to this.  I want to do a 305 soonish so please include as much detail as possible.  

I assume sir has seen this randy-looking specimen on C&C? It’s a stone’s throw from St. Tropez too, so you could make a millionaire’s holiday of it too.

Wait, why am I telling you this? This is my idea, hands off!

[Anglevan]

Welcome back, tea and biscuits at the ready to follow your escapades. Makes a change from 'I just bought a 2001 Nissan Micra and drove it back from Doncaster to Hull' !!! 

[wesacosa]

I drove a £150 Favorit 2000 miles across Europe to Monaco 5 years ago and now I get nervous driving an old car 5 miles down the m25.  Hats off to you, Sir.  Sounds like an awesome adventure and a cracking car to bring home