The Price is SHITE!

[somewhatfoolish]

£2500, one for the 'just fucking scrap it M9' thread.

[grogee]

£4277

[TheOtherStu]

I'll go for £3160

"There has been no attempt to start the car"

[MiniMinorMk3]

Well done Boom_daughter.

 

VX220

Plus points: Last MoT'd in 2019. Tastefully modified mechanically. 

Minus Points: Dressed up like a 5 year olds car. What category of write off? Lots of parts missing.

A usable car costs from £8,000, a good turbo costs from £13,000.

I guess it's worth £3,250 for parts with the shill bidding wind behind it

 

[CaptainBoom]

Now up to £3,959.00, astoundingly.

Just over a day to go, put in your guesses to ensure disappointment!

[CaptainBoom]

On 08/08/2023 at 08:04, grogee said:

£4277

Sold Shill bidded up to £7,100.00.  So @grogeewins it despite being £2,800-odd away from the result.

You have the ships wheel grogee.

[grogee]

There's not been enough totty on this thread recently, so I've been in touch with her agent and secured a weekend with Denise van Outen but from the 90s when she was really hot. Unfortunately JK out of Jamiroquai will be there too. 

It's summer apparently so today's piss de resistance is a 1982 Renault 5 "Cleveland" steamer  conver-tAble in appropriate AS racing colours. And there are several shades, with all the structural integrity of a blancmange. 

"... but I felt as it stands it is clear to see what an honest car it is, which I prefer to a car with all sorts of hidden issues... "

Ah good, so all the issues are completely visible then. 

Bidding from the seller's mum and brother in law has been brisk, with £185 reached at the time of writing. 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/126048591423?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0&ssspo=RygilJYvTE6&sssrc=4429486&ssuid=2Z40wC2iSsq&var=&widget_ver=artemis&media=COPY

[Justwatching]

Its got a naff DIY  look about it, which boarders on embarrassing, but it only takes two muppets to get excited by it being "rare" and the bidding takes off. 

I've still got no idea what I'm looking at. I'll throw £1,620 out there. 

[mk2_craig]

What a turd. I reckon the black wheels will help keep the hammer price realistic on this one, despite prices of some old Renners becoming daft, so let’s say £2450. 

[MiniMinorMk3]

ALL about the Renault 5 :: Cleveland R5 Cabriolet (renault-5.net)

The made at least one Turbo!

Renault 5 Cabriolet... Signed Cleveland! Gasoline in my veins (delessencedansmesveines.com)

Quote

The 1st Renault 5 cabriolet was designed in 76 by the sculptor Calka, at the request of the couturier Cacharel... Faced with the success of this prototype, the ready-to-wear brand decided to make a 2nd copy that will be exhibited at the Porte de Versailles. The car does without a roll bar, and despite the reinforcements installed on the spars, the body and the chassis, the whole remains too fragile. The initiative will have no tomorrow... finally, from Renault...
Because paradoxically, it is an Englishman who will take care of turning the roof of the small R5 ... Yes, it is in the land of rain, in Cleveland, that the little R5 will lose its head to expose itself under the sunshine!

To get there, the English tuner cut the roof (Yes, it's better to make a convertible!), reinforced the chassis and glued a bar as a hoop, connected to the top of the windshield. It's... special! And we understand that Renault did not want to embark on the adventure.

 

Looks like a few bits are missing like plastic trim around the windscreen and the central bar that goes between the roll bar and the screen. 

£1,250

[Jim Bergerac]

I will say £1785. 

[CaptainBoom]

£3,200.97, if you can send Ms van Outen over next Saturday, that would be fine with me. I've got some plant cuttings that need separating so she can observe me prick out in the potting shed.

In short, I think that is an abomination, goodness knows what it looks like with the top up.

[EyesWeldedShut]

Only 'cos my wife would so buy that car and call it Eminem. She tells me to bid £799.99 please

[grogee]

I'm going to guess on my own submission and say £893.12

[Popsicle]

I reckon £2350.

[grogee]

Bloody hell it's up to £1550 already. And it looks like this! I think @Mk2 Craig might be right, there's a couple of Renner heads having a chest beating match. 

[MiniMinorMk3]

Over 2K now!

[MantaGTE85]

On 01/08/2023 at 01:04, Popsicle said:

If I've got this correct and I'm a choosin, lets go with a mildly knackered Manta with 3.5 days left to run.

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/275970950682

MantaGTE85. Great name.

[grogee]

😯

[CaptainBoom]

7 minutes ago, grogee said:

😯

Goodness me!

[mk2_craig]

On 8/17/2023 at 4:40 PM, grogee said:

Renner heads

[grogee]

My very lazy and inaccurate mental arithmetic has identified @CaptainBoom as the winnar - COME ON DOWN!!! Denise van Outen is currently winging her way to your house with comedy jazz jester JK in hot pursuit.

The hammer fell at £2910, so while they withdraw bids and argue about an inaccurate description, we can move on to another steaming heap of excrement. 

Captain, the floor is yours! 

[somewhatfoolish]

Did Pedro win himself an R5? I wouldn't bet on it.  Onwards Captain Boom! So much choice of utter tat.

[CaptainBoom]

Thanks Grogee!  I eagerly waited by the front door for Ms van Outen from 1998, but she never showed up.  Never mind, perhaps she was distracted by Jay Kay and yet another of his interesting* car stories or one of his silly hats.  Her loss, I was going to ask her to help me dig over my allotment.

Right, as @somewhatfoolish has mentioned, there is a plethora of tat on the bay at present.  We could have had:

• A very nice 2009 Saab 9-5 estate which ostensibly was the sellers Mums' car, however over the last year he has sold eight or nine Saabs, so I think he's a driveway trader telling porkies.  (I've bookmarked it for myself)
• A Mk3 Fiesta Auto in JRG, but it had too short auction time remaining.
• A Mercedes S-Class with no pictures and a 1p auction with no bidders
• A G-Wiz with a terminal-sounding battery fault
• A Skoda Felicia which has a suspicious bidding history which looks like Martin from the newsagent is helping get it over the line

This wins however, and here's why:

• A tired example of an old trope that's been done to death, we've all seen them, they're hilarious*, chortle chortle.  CHECK
• Bought ostensibly as a wedding car, wedding didn't take place, probably bride-to-be realised she was about to wed a complete jizz mop. CHECK
• Incorect title of the vehicle on listing.  CHECK
• Incorrect age of vehicle used for hilarious* conversion.  CHECK
• Seller 'wants it to go to a good home'.  CHECK

I give you... this:

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/285434926012

Currently at £1,220.00 with just under three days to go (at 1AM).  Not masses of interest as it's been going for four days so far, but a couple of 42 carat plonkers (sorry) could get their Showaddywaddy record collections sold in time and will get interested near the end I'm sure?

 

[EyesWeldedShut]

It's a total mass of awfulness. I'm tempted to buy it just to burn it but it's already too rich for shoebox under the bed car funds (shhhh! Don't tell the missus she thinks its a pair of brogues).

£1,566.12

 

[grogee]

Arrgggh that is toe-curlingly awful in every respect. If it was possible to put a lower bid than £1220 then I would. Who in their right mind is going to sink four figures into that absolute travesty? 

The world makes me want to cry. £1221.

[mk2_craig]

£1301.01, if it isn't mysteriously pulled 25 hours from auction end.

[TheOtherStu]

I mean, other than the fact that it's a) too new b) the wrong model and c) it's far to bloody clean and tidy, it's got everything going for it.
I reckon this could be a battle of the knob ends, so I'm going with £2995

[fatharris]

£1460 I reckon, and shortly re-listed by the new owner when he brings it home and his missus leaves him for being a fuckspanner.

[Jim Bergerac]

When I win Euro millions I plan on setting up a warehouse that de-Trotterises unfortunate Reliants. 

 

Reliant 3 Wheelers fetch oddly strong money, and that type of Bellend who likes Trotterised ones is unfortunately common place. 

£2765.