The most useless feature of a car?

[Timewaster]

Powered tailgates. So slow!

Of course they can't be too fast or they would chin people, but....

Push the button... Whirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....

Get your stuff, push the button...

Whirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

Bugger! Forgot something.

Whirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

*Grab hat*

Whirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....

Won't close, need to move the stuff around in the boot....

Oh FFS.

[Garythesnail]

  On 04/03/2023 at 13:01, Timewaster said:

I want a hot/cold lever

Expand  

Was speaking about this with my wife as we were driving to town earlier.

My car has a rotary dial adjusting in 1° increments. Hers has physical buttons adjusting 1/2° at a time.

We bith agree that any heater or climate control system needs only three temperature settings - "too hot", "just right" and "too cold".

[808 Estate]

  On 04/03/2023 at 17:58, yes oui si said:

She had full-thickness third degree burns and needed skin grafts. 

Expand  

Does sound like the coffee was excessively hot. Probably far too hot to drink if it did that damage.

[rantingYoof]

Perhaps 'unnecessary' is a more apt term, but take your pick from almost anything shown here.

It'll be fantastic* buying one out of warranty.

Sent from my SM-G960F using Tapatalk

[CaptainBoom]

Puddle lights projected from the door mirror that show the munfacturers logo:

Jesus, get in the fuckin' sea!  Bunch of pretentious wank

[Remspoor]

  On 04/03/2023 at 22:20, CaptainBoom said:

Puddle lights projected from the door mirror that show the munfacturers logo:

Jesus, get in the fuckin' sea!  Bunch of pretentious wank

Expand  

I friend of ours was here recently in a rental SEAT mini SUV (forget the model)- The puddle lights on that said Hola, the Spanish for hello.

I like folding mirrors until it is a bit frosty. When I turn on the ignition they open automatically. It is like trying to open electric windows on an ice cold day. It should not be done.

[Barry Cade]

  On 04/03/2023 at 17:58, yes oui si said:

It always gets told as 'hot coffee' to minimise it as if she was taking the piss by suing. 

She had full-thickness third degree burns and needed skin grafts. 

Expand  

Yeah, now they make coffee with cold water. Instead of the cup of steam you used to get.

[New POD]

  On 04/03/2023 at 20:34, 808 Estate said:

Does sound like the coffee was excessively hot. Probably far too hot to drink if it did that damage.

Expand  

That was the point 

Even mcds said that it tastes better when brewed at a slightly lower temp 

[Metal Guru]

  On 04/03/2023 at 17:58, yes oui si said:

It always gets told as 'hot coffee' to minimise it as if she was taking the piss by suing. 

She had full-thickness third degree burns and needed skin grafts. 

Expand  

How hot was the coffee? I’d assumed 100C was the max . I’ve poured boiling water on myself before ( accidentally) , maybe not a whole cups worth , but it’s never resulted in anything worse than a lot of sweating.

[xkjagnz]

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liebeck_v._McDonald's_Restaurants

[yes oui si]

  On 05/03/2023 at 03:50, Metal Guru said:

How hot was the coffee? I’d assumed 100C was the max . I’ve poured boiling water on myself before ( accidentally) , maybe not a whole cups worth , but it’s never resulted in anything worse than a lot of sweating.

Expand  

If you spill a whole cupful on your clothes whilst sat down then it is stuck against your skin. If boiling water being held against your skin resulted in no more than 'a lot of sweating' then you could potentially make billions by selling yourself for research purposes. 

[lesapandre]

  On 04/03/2023 at 21:43, rantingYoof said:

Perhaps 'unnecessary' is a more apt term, but take your pick from almost anything shown here.
 

 

It'll be fantastic* buying one out of warranty.

Sent from my SM-G960F using Tapatalk



 

 

Expand  

Hilarious film. A 500 page instruction manual...😂

The car gives off an 80's Japanese car vibe - rear wheel steering etc. The sat-nav looks like Nintendo and even the presenter admits it is slow.

I'm assuming the car is aimed by Mercedes directly at Tesla to show off what they can do.

Some of the features - yea sure you can film people stealing the car - but if nobody is interested in apprehending the crime so what.

And driving near the O2 - you'd be mad - the tailback are usually a mile to the Blackwall Tunnel.

If any of that tech malfunctions you are stranded. It's all just stupid and involves putting your life in the hands of some 3rd party. Modern life is rubbish 😂

But then it's not aimed at me...😂😂

[mitsisigma01]

  On 04/03/2023 at 18:11, grogee said:

And I say this as someone who writes them for a living

Expand  

Which one would you consider your finest work ? 🤔

[Metal Guru]

  On 05/03/2023 at 09:30, yes oui si said:

If you spill a whole cupful on your clothes whilst sat down then it is stuck against your skin. If boiling water being held against your skin resulted in no more than 'a lot of sweating' then you could potentially make billions by selling yourself for research purposes. 

Expand  

Typo, it should say swearing! 

[Blunderguts]

Where I live the useless feature is the fleshy thing in the driver's seat.

[yes oui si]

  On 05/03/2023 at 11:28, Blunderguts said:

Where I live the useless feature is the fleshy thing in the driver's seat.

Expand  

Don't be so down on yourself. 

[Blunderguts]

  On 05/03/2023 at 11:39, yes oui si said:

Don't be so down on yourself. 

Expand  

My disability means I can't actually drive. Unlike the others around this part of the world at least I admit that I have no clue how to drive!😆

[grogee]

  On 05/03/2023 at 09:57, mitsisigma01 said:

Which one would you consider your finest work ? 🤔

Expand  

2023 Range Rover power doors section. I believe it's on the longlist for a Booker Prize

[mitsisigma01]

Do lazy arse mfkrs need doors opening for them nowadays 

[Garythesnail]

  On 05/03/2023 at 12:07, mitsisigma01 said:

mfkrs

Expand  

I"m wrong in thinking that's an abbreviation for 'manufactureres', aren't I?

[Zelandeth]

Anything involving a sodding touch screen.

Especially if it's something you're ever likely to need to manipulate while driving.

[GrumpiusMaximus]

  On 04/03/2023 at 13:11, Missy Charm said:

Automatic climate control.  

To wit: it's cold outside so I am cold.  I get in the car and, shivering, desire an interior hotter than the chilli con carne on spicy Friday in Hell's canteen.  I set the heater to maximum and wait.  After a while the car is like a furnace inside and I am happier so turn the heating down to an intermediate level.  Later I fancy a bit of fresh air, open the window and turn up the heater to compensate.

I am a human being and my temperature goes up and down.  I decide whether I want the car to be cold or hot inside and adjust the heater accordingly.  All those naff computer nerd types who whine nasally about the fact that 'it's set to exactly 15.567803878743847923892874217939128397438 degrees centigrade in my car and that's the optimum temperature for all conditions so you're not allowed to touch it you stupid woman' can jump in the nearest bin and have the local teenagers tip leftover kebabs on them.  

Expand  

Got to disagree on this.  I love having climate control one mine.  What I really need though is dual-zone climate control because my other half evidently has ice in their veins as they always want the heater to be considerably warmer than I do.  Cue arguments in the Spring and Autumn in particular because I want the air conditioning on and she still wants the car hotter than the surface of Venus...

[Jazoli]

  On 05/03/2023 at 14:38, GrumpiusMaximus said:

Got to disagree on this.  I love having climate control one mine.  What I really need though is dual-zone climate control because my other half evidently has ice in their veins as they always want the heater to be considerably warmer than I do.  Cue arguments in the Spring and Autumn in particular because I want the air conditioning on and she still wants the car hotter than the surface of Venus...

Expand  

Agreed, auto climate is brilliant, have dual zone in both our cars and it just works, never need to fiddle with the temps at all, I also never have the windows open unless I'm putting a ticket in a car park barrier.

In my old Vivaro however I was like Missy Charm, but then it didn't have auto climate

[treehugger]

  On 05/03/2023 at 10:50, Metal Guru said:

Typo, it should say swearing! 

Expand  

The Prince Andrew defence? 

[Soundwave]

Another vote for mood lighting. It's a car, not a fucking honeymoon suite.

A personal one for me... cruise control. I've got it on the modern, haven't even attempted to use it in the 3 years I've owned it. I do get the appeal and why so many people do find it useful, but I just don't trust it. Probably showing my luddite side there.

[RoverFolkUs]

  On 05/03/2023 at 16:21, Soundwave said:

Another vote for mood lighting. It's a car, not a fucking honeymoon suite.

A personal one for me... cruise control. I've got it on the modern, haven't even attempted to use it in the 3 years I've owned it. I do get the appeal and why so many people do find it useful, but I just don't trust it. Probably showing my luddite side there.

Expand  

Can second that, I've never felt the need to press the cruise control button in my Focus, not that I do many long journeys but it just seems wrong!?

[Jazoli]

It's a forum full of luddites, cruise (and speed limiters) are incredibly useful, adaptive cruise is sometimes even better, had a newish Tiguan last week and drove 30 miles without having to touch the pedals, on A roads, duals and stop start traffic, its brilliant!

[puddlethumper]

Footwell lights. What, you need a light to show you where the pedals are? or is to show you all the shit so it's time to get the vacuum cleaner out? 

[RoverFolkUs]

Pushing a button and carrying out your journey in complete automation is not what driving is for some people though 

[High Jetter]

Yes, you can't really call it driving unless you have to double de-clutch at least once!