Would you describe yourself as a Motoring Enthusiast?

[New POD]

  On 08/01/2023 at 14:56, Shedking said:

Exactly this. My kids bring their cars around and have for years, I don't mind that but they've got mates who also have cars and you get the "do you want my dad to have a look at it for you " no dad doesn't want to look at it for you,  dad's 60, dad works full time, dad's tired, fuck off 20 times over. 

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Son and daughter both live some distance away.  Both earn decent money.  I've recently said to my daughter. If the garage says you need new brake disks and pads then you need to get them. Whilst they do it, get them to do the cam belt. Followed by What? Did you want me to do it? I've got 3 cars of my own that I haven't time to look at, so that's a no thank you. 

[HillmanImp]

  On 08/01/2023 at 22:00, wuvvum said:

You should have brought up the fact that the XJ220 had a Metro engine, I'm sure he would have been delighted*.

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I remember being sat in a 6r4 once and was amazed that it had a normal metro dash with a few extra bits and bobs bolted on. I don't know what I expected, I just expected it not to be a standard dashboard but I guess they just fitted what they had didn't they, why reinvent the shitty plastic dash?

[sheffcortinacentre]

I love the 6R4 for it's complete absurdity, for once some one at BL or whatever they where called that week understood that to continue in rallying they'd got to come up with a comparatively highly powerful 4wd car, but realised they'd got no budget, no highly powerful ( or easily modified ) 4 cyl eng & the only 4wd system they had was from a thinly disguised ww2 tractor!

So they took one of they're smallest cars the metro (less weight), their commonest lightweight powerful engine ( the aluminium rover V8 ) then realised it wouldn't fit so chopped a 1/4 of it off, bunged some big carbs & heads on it, then realised the rest of the running gear wouldn't fit so stuck the gearbox wear they could, plonked some old filling cabinets ( minus the drawers on each corner) ,Remembered two burly blokes in ovies & skid lids had got to fit in it & called it done "pure genius".

[Metal Guru]

  On 08/01/2023 at 22:06, Rust Collector said:

I don’t much like meeting new people so when I was taken to meet my partner’s friends I just used to have a few drinks before I went and then once you’re half cut you don’t really give a shit where the conversation goes. I’m not sure I really ever got introduced as anything, possibly because none of my partner’s friends were into cars, a lot of them don’t even own cars (the horror!!).

I travel for work frequently and meet new people and in those situations it’s frowned upon to be drunk sadly. Luckily industry small talk usually does the job, but on the few times cars have come up then people have politely feigned interest in my old shitters whilst I’ve politely feigned interest in their company Aldi/Tesla. Worst thing that ever happened was being shown how funny* the fart function in a Tesla is, although it was kind of the owner to let me have a drive of the car. Best thing that happened was a chap with a couple of nice Saabs loudly announcing that he likes to call himself ‘a Swedophile’ whilst we were talking at a trade show.

Worst people to know that you are into cars are extended family, they’ll want you to do ‘a few small bits’ like weld both sills on a Ka or do a timing belt on a Zafira and apparently being shot out of the same cock two generations back means you’re duty bound to help for free.

I think I consider myself as a motoring enthusiast though as I can find some interest in most things of most ages. Bikes, cars, busses, lorries, veteran, vintage, classic, retro, modern, steam, petrol, diesel, electric… There’s not many vehicles out there that don’t have something interesting about them. I do find it harder with moderns but there is still interesting stuff out there.

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I met a swedophile once. He also had a fondness for turnips and mangel wurzels.

[Metal Guru]

The trouble is there’s a very thin line between an enthusiast and a bore.

Bores are particularly keen on tyres (my own specialist subject) , mpg and how long a battery should last.

Other subjects include , how Kwikfit rip you off ( often combined with tyres and batteries for a real snooze fest ),  motorcycle filtering and roundabout lane discipline.

Terminal cases speak in chassis numbers, model years and have an intimate knowledge of 1970s BL paint codes.

[cobblers]

  On 09/01/2023 at 01:52, sheffcortinacentre said:

I love the 6R4 for it's complete absurdity, for once some one at BL or whatever they where called that week understood that to continue in rallying they'd got to come up with a comparatively highly powerful 4wd car, but realised they'd got no budget, no highly powerful ( or easily modified ) 4 cyl eng & the only 4wd system they had was from a thinly disguised ww2 tractor!

So they took one of they're smallest cars the metro (less weight), their commonest lightweight powerful engine ( the aluminium rover V8 ) then realised it wouldn't fit so chopped a 1/4 of it off, bunged some big carbs & heads on it, then realised the rest of the running gear wouldn't fit so stuck the gearbox wear they could, plonked some old filling cabinets ( minus the drawers on each corner) ,Remembered two burly blokes in ovies & skid lids had got to fit in it & called it done "pure genius".

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I recall from Jonny Smiths video that the original 6R4 engines are so highly strung they need a 5 figure rebuild every 600 yards or something too. I mean that's probably par for the course in competition cars, but fuck me - who really wants to deal with that? I'll have that 1.1 K series replica built on a 5 door on instead

 

[grogee]

Have we done route map bores yet? "Yeah, I came down the A361 but turned off at Titstone to pick up the Beardsley road then jump onto the B4355 so I could miss the Spunkton traffic"

[motorpunk]

Even though I regularly write for car magazines, and always have something interesting in the garage at home, I never, ever tell the guys I work with about it as it'll result in them talking for hours about about BIK, EVs, and the time they raced a mate on the ringroad, then followed by the excruciating scroll through their phone to show me a FB meme about TopGear. 

I tell people I like jazz. They tend to leave me alone then. 

[motorpunk]

  On 09/01/2023 at 11:15, grogee said:

Have we done route map bores yet? "Yeah, I came down the A361 but turned off at Titstone to pick up the Beardsley road then jump onto the B4355 so I could miss the Spunkton traffic"

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Everyone knows that if you take a left at Dogarse Lane (avaoiding the potholes, of course), then a right, over the A715, past the petrol station, then you'll save 5 mins... unless it's kicking out time at the school, then you're better off.... oh, he's gone. 

I am a route bore. Sorry. 

[Metal Guru]

  On 09/01/2023 at 11:35, motorpunk said:

Everyone knows that if you take a left at Dogarse Lane (avaoiding the potholes, of course), then a right, over the A715, past the petrol station, then you'll save 5 mins... unless it's kicking out time at the school, then you're better off.... oh, he's gone. 

I am a route bore. Sorry. 

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London to Devon and Cornwall? M4/5 or A303? The eternal question for route bores.

[grogee]

  On 09/01/2023 at 11:33, motorpunk said:

I tell people I like jazz. They tend to leave me alone then. 

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<adenoidal voice>

What sort? Who's your favourite drummer? Which Miles Davis album is your favourite?

</adenoidal voice>

[grogee]

  On 09/01/2023 at 12:06, Metal Guru said:

London to Devon and Cornwall? M4/5 or A303? The eternal question for route bores.

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THEY BOTH MAKE ME WANT TO REMOVE MY EYEBALLS WITH A SPOON

[grogee]

  On 09/01/2023 at 11:13, cobblers said:

I recall from Jonny Smiths video that the original 6R4 engines are so highly strung they need a 5 figure rebuild every 600 yards or something too. I mean that's probably par for the course in competition cars, but fuck me - who really wants to deal with that? I'll have that 1.1 K series replica built on a 5 door on instead

 

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Thread meander: somewhere I learned that when a McLaren F1 needs new tyres, it requires a racetrack and professional racing driver to get them fitted or something. What a load of nonsense. But also, I wonder if they do Landsails in that size?

[MiniMinorMk3]

  On 09/01/2023 at 10:19, Metal Guru said:

 

Terminal cases speak in chassis numbers, model years and have an intimate knowledge of 1970s BL paint codes.

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That'll be me then.

I have an almost full set of BL paint chip cards, don't you know

[warch]

My Dad isn't a motoring enthusiast by any means (more of an un enthusiast) but he brings his own unique terror to instructions for getting somewhere. I was once directed to an address in the East Midlands (pre Sat nav) with handwritten instructions including; 'fork left when you see a church in the middle distance', (which was very picturesque but effing useless as it was both 5.30ish on a February evening and also snowing), and; 'you'll spot the turn off for the lane as there's a mature alder directly opposite' (my knowledge of tree species was and is very limited). He also once got lost in a village (the 'Bastard Dolley Green' Incident) on the Welsh border which I later visited and discovered had only one road in and one road out.   

[Jazoli]

  On 09/01/2023 at 12:12, grogee said:

Thread meander: somewhere I learned that when a McLaren F1 needs new tyres, it requires a racetrack and professional racing driver to get them fitted or something. What a load of nonsense. But also, I wonder if they do Landsails in that size?

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That's not true at all, it's usually because it's a centrelock wheel and the tyres are specific to the car, so it usually goes back to Mclaren, also if you can afford one it doesn't really matter 😉 

[motorpunk]

  On 09/01/2023 at 12:34, MiniMinorMk3 said:

That'll be me then.

I have an almost full set of BL paint chip cards, don't you know

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I once ran a one page magazine feature on the joys of old paint cards.

My Dad is a signwriter and as a kid I would love playing with Pantone books of paint colours.

[Split_Pin]

Anyone remember that character in 'Early Doors'that kept telling the Barman about Temporary traffic lights. He was a classic route bore!

I'd make a terrible route bore as I rarely take notice of road numbers and even if I do all I'd remember is that there was a grit bin along the way with the old Regional Council writing on it or an abandoned Triumph Spitfire that had broken in half.

[sierraman]

  On 09/01/2023 at 13:53, Split_Pin said:

Anyone remember that character in 'Early Doors'that kept telling the Barman about Temporary traffic lights. He was a classic route bore!

I'd make a terrible route bore as I rarely take notice of road numbers and even if I do all I'd remember is that there was a grit bin along the way with the old Regional Council writing on it or an abandoned Triumph Spitfire that had broken in half.

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Eddie and Joan, when I see that actor now I cannot imagine him as anything other than Eddie. I loved Early Doors, reminds me of our local, shame it only ran for the 2-3 series. 

[De Selby]

Going back to the original post, I suppose it's seen as a fairly 'safe' (ie no politics, unless you really push it)subject for social situations. Thing is 'motoring' is such a broad church that you're quite likely to run into someone whose understanding of 'motoring' is completely different to yours.

I do like finding A-road alternatives to motorway journeys so I guess that makes me a closet route bore. You can usually spot one as their eyes light up if you mention the A303

 

[Split_Pin]

Motorways are soul destroying, nothing wrong with an A road alternative!

[De Selby]

What I find talking to most 'motoring enthusiasts' is that my idea of 'aspirational' seems to have been recalibrated somewhere. Probably whilst standing on a windswept driveway watching my Dad lying under the car 'doing his own repairs' and reminiscing about some pile of rust he'd unwisely bought in the dark in 1967

[cort1977]

  On 09/01/2023 at 14:23, sierraman said:

Eddie and Joan, when I see that actor now I cannot imagine him as anything other than Eddie. I loved Early Doors, reminds me of our local, shame it only ran for the 2-3 series. 

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I believe they are repeating it soon.

I keep quiet about cars unless in a safe space with other afflicted souls who like interesting jalopies.  My neighbour spent a while telling me about the new BMW iX on new year's eve, assuming I'd be interested.  It's why I got so pissed, trying to numb the pain.

[Datsuncog]

  On 09/01/2023 at 14:27, De Selby said:

I do like finding A-road alternatives to motorway journeys so I guess that makes me a closet route bore. You can usually spot one as their eyes light up if you mention the A303

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A road so beloved that songs have been written about it...

(No, really)

[juular]

I don't have to worry about what I get introduced to people as, as I don't get introduced to people. I am an antisocial grumpy bastard and don't really have a social life.

It's brilliant, I recommend it.

 

[JakeT]

Usually I get introduced as someone that likes cars, and people will ask me:

‘Whats your favourite car?’

‘Depends on the day. It’s usually old and rubbish, though.’

 

‘What car should I buy?’

‘You don’t care what I think, but get a Honda, or Toyota. Oh, you want an Audi Sports? Get that then.’

 

‘Can you look at why my 1.6 TDi Polo needs an EGR valve? And the garage says the turbo is on the way out too.’

‘Sorry, but no. I only work on my own cars or friends that have an interest too.’

 

The latter being after lots of examples of ‘ever since you…’

 

I ask not to be introduced as someone that likes cars, now. Unless they own something like a Senator 24v.

[Shedking]

Daughter wanted to get in with one of the "cool kids" at school, what an obnoxious little brat, anyway she brought the kid in question home for tea one day, the conversation came around, I don't remember how, about a hobby of mine that also turned out to be quite lucrative in topping up my pension pot buying and selling collectibles, which I never talk about with other people either, if you think that car people are bores they've got nothing on that hobby.

Anyway said brat, trying to get attention said " your daughter tells me you have an unusual hobby". Every inch of me wanted to tell her to fuck off but for some reason I said "yes that's right I study roundabouts " . Roundabouts she said, yes I replied I'm obsessed with roundabouts, the planning, construction, dimensions, even the flora that will be used to attract our local fauna and help in pollination. In fact I have a rather extensive photographic collection of about 10,000 pictures of roundabouts and an encyclopedia, would you like to borrow it?

She never returned for tea again and my daughter ignored me for over a month, oh the joy. 

 

[Dyslexic Viking]

  On 09/01/2023 at 14:59, juular said:

I don't have to worry about what I get introduced to people as, as I don't get introduced to people. I am an antisocial grumpy bastard and don't really have a social life.

It's brilliant, I recommend it.

 

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I'm also like that and it's brilliant as you say.

I also have the advantage that most people avoid me so I avoid terrible conversations.

It is nice.

[motorpunk]

  On 09/01/2023 at 12:09, grogee said:

<adenoidal voice>

Jazz

</adenoidal voice>

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Nina Simone. I love the breadth of topic matter from the slow, wretchedness of Strange Fruit, to the boundless joy of My baby just cares for me, and the peculiar tracks like I put a spell on you which barely hide the classic pianist training of Simone behind lyrics which...  hello? Hello? Oh. He's gone again. 

[Clunk]

I just go straight in and declare myself a crap car enthusiast, that usually sorts the wheat from the chaff. Bumped into a chap my age at the Leyland show so now I chat to him if I want to discuss these topics as very few are interested.