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Best phrases in car adverts

RoverFolkUs

By RoverFolkUs
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catsinthewelder Rank: Lancia Gamma

catsinthewelder

Posted
Posted

^^ Doesn't seem unreasonable so long as they let you give it a good check over.  If you're willing to risk it you could get a bargain (or a headache).

  • 2 weeks later...
RoverFolkUs Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

RoverFolkUs

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  • Author
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IMG_20230214_225901.thumb.jpg.a3e069c6bb5ed9f312149555812f526e.jpg

"I don't want to ship it via DPD to Asia or a boat in the middle of the Carribbean" 😆

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sierraman Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

sierraman

Posted
Posted
  On 14/02/2023 at 23:04, RoverFolkUs said:

IMG_20230214_225901.thumb.jpg.a3e069c6bb5ed9f312149555812f526e.jpg

"I don't want to ship it via DPD to Asia or a boat in the middle of the Carribbean" 😆

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How unreasonable... honestly though why’s he not just scrapping the cunt. 

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RoverFolkUs Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

RoverFolkUs

Posted
  • Author
Posted
  On 15/02/2023 at 12:52, sierraman said:

How unreasonable... honestly though why’s he not just scrapping the cunt. 

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Probably see about £350 from CTB or Redcorn anyway tbh!

warren t claim Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

warren t claim

Posted
Posted
  On 21/03/2022 at 01:17, RoverFolkUs said:

Here we have a few from the same person.... Excuse the slight casual racism in 2 of these but its his words not mine!

"Full service history in English" ... "Does not smell of curry" ... "May take a px as long as it's not your grandmother"

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"No dreamers or messers or retards"

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As below ...

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Doesn't he seem a very tolerant old chap!?

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I'm white. And like many taxi drivers, I learnt the local knowledge by working part time doing deliveries for a tandoori. A couple of years later I helped coach the chef through his taxi knowledge exam as well. He now drives a Transit Connect 7 seater taxi. 

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  • 7 months later...
RoverFolkUs Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

RoverFolkUs

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Screenshot_2023-10-01-00-29-42-344_com.facebook.lite-edit.thumb.jpg.35946041d2094dc8850c4a11d1d89173.jpg

"Pulls like a bulldozer" 

Erm.. is that a good thing or a bad thing!? Have the fucked calipers got anything to do with it!? 😂

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Rocket88 Rank: Lancia Gamma

Rocket88

Posted
Posted
  On 02/10/2023 at 10:58, wesacosa said:

as spotted by @Schaefft from some chump flipping a Xedos 9

Screenshot_20231002_115034_Facebook.jpg

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You can’t have it both ways… it’s either rare OR unique….

Metal Guru Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

Metal Guru

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  On 02/10/2023 at 11:24, Rocket88 said:

You can’t have it both ways… it’s either rare OR unique….

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Well you can. Something Unique is certainly rare because there’s only one, but something rare , is it normally unique. I.e there might only be 2 or 3 in existence , but that’s not unique.

What I’d object to is “truly unique”. Unique has one meaning only, and needs no qualification.  

Rocket88 Rank: Lancia Gamma

Rocket88

Posted
Posted
  On 02/10/2023 at 11:41, Metal Guru said:

Well you can. Something Unique is certainly rare because there’s only one, but something rare , is it normally unique. I.e there might only be 2 or 3 in existence , but that’s not unique.

What I’d object to is “truly unique”. Unique has one meaning only, and needs no qualification.  

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Agreed, but not in the context that the Xedos seller was using 

sierraman Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

sierraman

Posted
Posted
  On 30/09/2023 at 23:31, RoverFolkUs said:

Screenshot_2023-10-01-00-29-42-344_com.facebook.lite-edit.thumb.jpg.35946041d2094dc8850c4a11d1d89173.jpg

"Pulls like a bulldozer" 

Erm.. is that a good thing or a bad thing!? Have the fucked calipers got anything to do with it!? 😂

image.thumb.png.436d1176a19c69355591938a252e2bcd.png

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Probably sounds more like a bulldozer. 

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martc Rank: Talbot Tagora

martc

Posted
Posted
  On 02/10/2023 at 10:58, wesacosa said:

as spotted by @Schaefft from some chump flipping a Xedos 9

Screenshot_20231002_115034_Facebook.jpg

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Are they saying the Managing Director of a Mazda Main Dealer personally serviced the car?

I've known several Managing Directors and their skillz are more geared towards steering the ship towards the rocks rather than the actual day to day work of the company. This is left to the qualified personal entrusted to do the job by the MD. Avoid.

motorpunk Rank: Renault 16

motorpunk

Posted
Posted
  On 02/10/2023 at 10:58, wesacosa said:

as spotted by @Schaefft from some chump flipping a Xedos 9

Screenshot_20231002_115034_Facebook.jpg

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"I was fortunate to have the opportunity of becoming the next custodian"...

No, you gave them some money, and drove off. You fucking cretin. 

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wesacosa Rank: Lancia Gamma

wesacosa

Posted
Posted
  On 02/10/2023 at 14:50, motorpunk said:

"I was fortunate to have the opportunity of becoming the next custodian"...

No, you gave them some money, and drove off. You fucking cretin. 

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and is now asking several times that money from the next lucky custodian (he wants 6 bags for it!!)

 

Spiny Norman Rank: Lancia Gamma

Spiny Norman

Posted
Posted
  On 02/10/2023 at 11:41, Metal Guru said:

What I’d object to is “truly unique”. Unique has one meaning only, and needs no qualification.  

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"This car is unique. Apart from the one in front of it which is identical."

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DSdriver Rank: Lancia Gamma

DSdriver

Posted
Posted

I like my steaks rare but not my cars as parts supply will inevitably be a problem.

High Jetter Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

High Jetter

Posted
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  On 02/10/2023 at 16:10, Spiny Norman said:

"This car is unique. Apart from the one in front of it which is identical."

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I thought 'the car in front is a Toyota'

sierraman Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

sierraman

Posted
Posted
  On 02/10/2023 at 16:20, DSdriver said:

I like my steaks rare but not my cars as parts supply will inevitably be a problem.

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‘Hi I’d like a alternator for a Mazda Xedos 9...’ Could be a new take on the Yellow Pages JR Hartley adverts. 

  • 2 weeks later...
RoverFolkUs Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

RoverFolkUs

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Ladies and gents, forget the age old classic "spears reapers" ... We have a new phrase!

Screenshot_2023-10-15-13-05-07-012_com.facebook.lite-edit.thumb.jpg.3f770d68a1f99928511afe67f4ab9a24.jpg

"ULEZ complaint"

  • 3 weeks later...
RoverFolkUs Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

RoverFolkUs

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Got to be one of the best ones I've read 😂 courtesy of a Google translate malfunction:

"I went and enjoyed myself and did not envy anyone"

"Shock absorbers everywhere"

"And I'm doing it now with my new car"

"Come and see the test drive. Call me"

That sounds a bit suspect if taken out of the context of a car advert 😂

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Captain Mainwaring Rank: BL Wedge

Captain Mainwaring

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  On 31/08/2022 at 22:22, RoverFolkUs said:

"The car is on the move! The car is running good. The car is driving non stop!!"

"The car is in motion! The car runs fine. The car is driven non-stop."

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Driving non-stop? How's he going to hand it over if it sells? Fling the passenger door open and have the buyer dive in, take the payment, then tuck and roll out of the door while the new owner frantically climbs over to the driver's side? 

sierraman Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

sierraman

Posted
Posted
  On 02/11/2023 at 21:25, Captain Mainwaring said:

Driving non-stop? How's he going to hand it over if it sells? Fling the passenger door open and have the buyer dive in, take the payment, then tuck and roll out of the door while the new owner frantically climbs over to the driver's side? 

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What was that BMW 325 that Mobil had that spent 24 hours a day on a sort of vehicle treadmill. 😂

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Captain Mainwaring Rank: BL Wedge

Captain Mainwaring

Posted
Posted

On topic, I've seen one or two ads for so-called barn find cars that've said something to the effect of 'ran fine when parked up 15 years ago'... 

stuboy Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

stuboy

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Posted

i know we all heard it but when the write mint condition pre accident................

Metal Guru Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

Metal Guru

Posted
Posted
  On 02/11/2023 at 22:45, stuboy said:

i know we all heard it but when the write mint condition pre accident................

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Unless it’s a Polo. They’re always mint condition!

sierraman Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

sierraman

Posted
Posted

Jesus... the education system has failed this individual based on the spelling. 

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