Best phrases in car adverts

[Eyersey1234]

6 hours ago, GR8 PL8 M8 said:

And the massively overused...

"Pulls like a train"

What they mean is its noisy as fuck when it pulls away 🤣🤣

[lesapandre]

Like this?

 

[RoverFolkUs]

https://www.autotrader.co.uk/car-details/202203093363234?

"Last careful lady owner since 2019"

How do you know that when its just come fresh from the pile of steaming turds supplied by BCA?!

[New POD]

15 hours ago, Eyersey1234 said:

What they mean is its noisy as fuck when it pulls away 🤣🤣

And tramlines under heavy braking. 

[motorpunk]

No. The worst phrase in car adverts is “£100 admin fee applies”, usually buried in the text. It could be a mint Ferrari Dino in positano yellow up for a tenner but if it’s got that phrase in the text they can fuck off.

[straightSix]

1 hour ago, motorpunk said:

No. The worst phrase in car adverts is “£100 admin fee applies”, usually buried in the text. It could be a mint Ferrari Dino in positano yellow up for a tenner but if it’s got that phrase in the text they can fuck off.

Exactly. So you want to charge me to take my money? Get in the fucking sea. Just make the car £100 more expensive

[Metal Guru]

2 hours ago, motorpunk said:

No. The worst phrase in car adverts is “£100 admin fee applies”, usually buried in the text. It could be a mint Ferrari Dino in positano yellow up for a tenner but if it’s got that phrase in the text they can fuck off.

Pretty much standard these days with dealers because we’re mugs when buying cars. Same with £200 for number plates that cost £15 elsewhere. On top of that “a donation” £30 to their charity of choice. No leave the charity to Oxfam etc..

Also “no haggling “ as if that’s good for the buyer, no they are the only ones who benefit.  
“Price matched”, yeh with the rest of your dealer chain.

 

[grogee]

"It is what it is"

Well if it was what it was then you'd be the supplying dealer. Stop talking nonsense and tell me about the car

[lesapandre]

Of course it "ain't what it ain't" neither...😂

[straightSix]

"light scratches from my peacock" 😂

[sierraman]

The admin fee gets me, £100 to fill out the V5, I’m in the wrong job. 

[twosmoke300]

6 hours ago, straightSix said:

"light scratches from my peacock" 😂

First world problems right there !

[camryv6]

29 minutes ago, twosmoke300 said:

First world problems right there !

I take it you have never had a problem with your peacock ?

[twosmoke300]

No just one particular unruly quail 

[MisterH]

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/classic-cars-cavalier-sri-/234469649002?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&_trksid=p2349624.m46890.l49286&mkrid=710-127635-2958-0

Quote

Did run but needs a distributor

Well buy the Dizzer and throw it in, might even be worth 1.5k then...

 

[RoverFolkUs]

7 minutes ago, MisterH said:

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/classic-cars-cavalier-sri-/234469649002?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&_trksid=p2349624.m46890.l49286&mkrid=710-127635-2958-0

Well buy the Dizzer and throw it in, might even be worth 1.5k then...

 

The Rover 75 I posted in the tat thread yesterday "will need a brake light bulb to pass the MOT" 🤦

[skoda_fan]

I nominate all the tired and meaningless cliches that have crept in from classic* car publication speak, eg "starter classic", "iteration", "in period",  "a hoot to drive"....and of course everyone's favourite old chestnut "barn find".

[Metal Guru]

“Project” = more rust than metal and no working parts. I.e scrap.

[sierraman]

‘Ideal fishing car’ - an absolute damp trap of an old diesel Estate with a fortnights test remaining.

Who goes to the wife ‘think I’m going to need to get a 2005 Astra Estate just for going fishing on the Trent once in a blue moon’

[AnnoyingPentium]

10 minutes ago, sierraman said:

‘think I’m going to need to get a 2005 Astra Estate just for going fishing on the Trent once in a blue moon’

You mean I don't? But how else am I meant to explain away a daft purchase like that? 😂

[Sham]

Let's face it, No one is gullible enough to accept that there's a good reason for buying a 2005 Astra.

[sierraman]

22 minutes ago, Sham said:

Let's face it, No one is gullible enough to accept that there's a good reason for buying a 2005 Astra.

Let’s face it they’ve believed he’s been ‘night fishing’ on a Saturday night for the last 4 years and definitely not dogging in a truck stop just outside Scunthorpe. 🤣

[camryv6]

5 hours ago, sierraman said:

Let’s face it they’ve believed he’s been ‘night fishing’ on a Saturday night for the last 4 years and definitely not dogging in a truck stop just outside Scunthorpe. 🤣

Wrong forum for making confessions, I think, well those sort of confessions 

[RoverFolkUs]

7 minutes ago, camryv6 said:

Wrong forum for making confessions, I think, well those sort of confessions 

Would piston heads or digital spy be better? 😁

[UltraWomble]

On 3/12/2022 at 1:46 PM, RoverFolkUs said:

Yep, fixed the symptoms and not the cause! Once I saw a car for sale that had failed it's MOT on the airbag light being on. Next retest, an advisory was noted for "supplementary restraint system warning light does not illuminate" - no mystery over what went on there 😅

I've never understood this, what is it about a doctor owner that suddenly makes a car an absolute gem!? I've seen "1 civil servant owner from new" before as well, what difference does that make!?

Only one GP I have worked with was a car enthusiast and really looked after his vehicles - for all the rest, (especially Dr W) they were white appliances to be used till they went "pop" and then replaced with another one. I can still see the state of his C3 now. It was like a petri dish inside.

[camryv6]

1 hour ago, RoverFolkUs said:

Would piston heads or digital spy be better? 😁

Swingingheaven.co.uk maybe ?

[motorpunk]

14 hours ago, skoda_fan said:

I nominate all the tired and meaningless cliches that have crept in from classic* car publication speak, eg "starter classic", "iteration", "in period",  "a hoot to drive"....and of course everyone's favourite old chestnut "barn find".

This. And car sales places who try and talk up their humdrum profession by attempting to add an air of sophistication by using the archaic term "horseless carriages". 

[motorpunk]

"The all important [insignificant thing]". 

They can fuck off, keep fucking off, and when they think they've done fucking off can fuck off even further. 

[RoverFolkUs]

"No offers or it's getting P/Xed tomorrow"

Erm, who's taking a MK1 Focus in P/X for £900? 

 

[RoverFolkUs]

 

Just now, RoverFolkUs said:

"No offers or it's getting P/Xed tomorrow"

Erm, who's taking a MK1 Focus in P/X for £900? 

 

Ah yes, how could I ignore the fact it includes the elusive tank of petrol !!