The grumpy thread

[dugong]

Had a look on the VOC's Amazon section this afternoon.

It seems 'a change of circumstances' has led to purplebargeken selling his 122S. This makes me sad.

[Micrashed]

Posted log book for the Airfix kit Honda motorbike off a few days after I got it, finally got it back in my name today - so I declared SORN.... GR9.99 - I gets an email saying they are referring it to the enforcement unit as there was no tax or SORN declared between the 22nd Oct and the 7th Nov.

Twats.

Bike looks like:

And has done since 22nd Oct.

[vulgalour]

That Mk1 Golf I had wasn't SORN'd when I bought it.  I included a letter with the V5 requesting it be SORN'd.  DVLA sent the V5 back and the car, when I checked online, wasn't SORN'd.  Couldn't SORN it online.  Rang DVLA who told me to get a form from the Post Office.  Post Office told me that they didn't do those forms anymore, DVLA would have to send me one.  Rang DVLA, they told me the Post Office had to provide the form...

 

I wonder when my fine is arriving?

[SambaS]

just had the same argument at my local post office after speaking to doovla

[vulgalour]

My brother is going to go direct to DVLA's local office in Sheffield while it's still there to sort it.  Apparently, he's had the same issue in the past with other cars and it's the only way to sort it out.  So that'll be fun when they close the office won't it?  What was wrong with perpetual SORN anyway?

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Download the form off the DVLA site if the PO haven't got it. Easy

[Lankytim]

I have the same problem with the spares XM I have, I can't sorn it online and the post office say to ring the dvla. Annoying.

[cort16]

My Merc is still playing up. It spent two days in the dealer at the start of the week in which they scratched their heads and did a software update on it.

They dropped it off and on Wednesday morning on the way to work it still had no power. I've not got time this week to piss around with it going in and out of the dealer so I've just been driving it but the EML came back on this morning.

It drives okay and once up to speed doesn't lose momentum or anything it's just piss slow accelerating. Turning it on and off (I work in IT) works for a bit but the fault comes back.

 

Back the the 5 series next week then!

[scruff]

Been doing some work on a scale model steam engine for a friend, the idea being when finished we'd sell and split the cash.

He gets in touch this week and he needs his investment back... fair enough, shit happens etc. I'm not in a position to buy him out so I loosely reassemble it and put it up for sale.

If you think you get dreamers and timewasters selling chod, try selling a steam engine...

[dugong]

'Salary is £competitive'

No. How much is the salary? I can't pay bills with '£competitive'.

[plasticvandan]

if they wont print it its shit.same as if theres no price on something its too much

reminds me of an agency job i had,under the "benefits" section of the job,all was listed was: parking.

[beko1987]

WTF. When I joined my company nearly 8 years ago Excel skills were beaten into me from day 1, as its pretty fucking mandatory for the job we do! However, some cock end with nothing better to do decided to fil my inbox up with more shit:

 

 

On Monday 11^th November at 1pm, bring your lunch and a notepad to Meeting Room 1 and improve your Excel skills – inside 30 minutes – with our first session of Excel Club.

 

Created by your colleagues here in Marlow, Excel Club comprises of 3 x 10 minute guides on those bits of Excel you have always wondered how to use properly, such as:

 

·         Setting up a spreadsheet

·         Formatting cells

·         Printing tips

·         5-second formulas

·         And when you’re feeling brave – pivot tables!

 

Twice each month we’ll get together and go over a simple topic, a daily task, a clever idea and a tutorial from Skillgate.

 

You can be a beginner or more advanced user – it doesn’t matter.  Excel Club is the ideal place for you to discover nifty tricks and ideas within Excel that will make creating and using spreadsheets really easy.

 

You can also ask for guides and help on topics for future sessions – so you can have quick informal guides that will really help you in your job.

 

Let us know if you would like to come along – simply click the orange button to the right.  If you have any questions, please email Pauline Cummings or Danielle Boyce.

 

See you Monday!

 

 

Corporate ball licking shit

[dugong]

I learned Excel on the job. I've probably forgotten most of it now.

[Lord Sterling]

Posted log book for the Airfix kit Honda motorbike off a few days after I got it, finally got it back in my name today - so I declared SORN.... GR9.99 - I gets an email saying they are referring it to the enforcement unit as there was no tax or SORN declared between the 22nd Oct and the 7th Nov.

To be honest, they are unlikely to do anything, but of course, they wont tell you. I had the same thing a few times, once having forgotten to SORN one of my cars for about 2 months or something. They basically told me the same thing but I've heard nowt since, that was over 4 years ago.

 

 

'Salary is £competitive'

No. How much is the salary? I can't pay bills with '£competitive'.

Agreed Dug. I avoid applying for jobs like these, they usually entail a 'cold-calling' type job in one form or another. Those kind of jobs are usually very vague in thier job descriptions usually focussing on Do you want to be part of a successful etc... We can offer competitive etc....

 

It's not too bad working for agencies but it can be a gamble and it can be hard when after working pretty much every hour they give you, you suddenky find work has dried up as I've found out over the last few weeks. Currently I'm doing a few days working for photography company looking after thier current exhibitions. However, as the exhibition is located on a new business park, the amount of visitors is almost non-existant. Still, at least I'm getting paid for doing literally nothing.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Excel Club

 

The first rule of Excel Club is...

 

 

... kill yourself because Excel Club sounds fucking awful

[The Moog]

My gf has got a new job. it is a happy thing (and.is) but the grump is that she missed out on another one on isle of coll. She had to go for a two day interview and fell in love with the place. She was down to the final two.

 

We spent ages discussing the possibilities of living there and had planned it so much it was like we had already gone. So gutted we didnt. Second job is really good and before the island interview it was amazing. Now it feels like coming second in the olympics. Its good bt not gold!

[Negative Creep]

A few days ago I sortof asked one of the girls I work with if she fancied going to the cinema to see the apparently excellent Gravity sometime. She declined and said it wasn't really her type of thing so I left it at that. Today one of the other guys mentioned the film to her, so right in front of me she immediately says she'd love to go with him and is free tomorrow. With the Merc that I just want rid of now broken, it really hasn't been the best of days

[Cavcraft]

Go back in to work on Monday and when she comes into your office (or whatever) shout as loudly as possible: GET YOUR HAND OFF ME, YOU FUCKING SLAG, NOW ANY MORE OF THAT AND I'M CALLING HR. STOP TOUCHING ME, I DON'T FANCY YOU, YOU FAT COW.

 

It's foolproof* and everyone* will believe you. Also if gets to HR tell her a blowjob behind the filing cabinet and a quick feel of her tits and you'll drop the sexual harassment charge.

[scruff]

A few days ago I sortof asked one of the girls I work with if she fancied going to the cinema to see the apparently excellent Gravity sometime. She declined and said it wasn't really her type of thing so I left it at that. Today one of the other guys mentioned the film to her, so right in front of me she immediately says she'd love to go with him and is free tomorrow. With the Merc that I just want rid of now broken, it really hasn't been the best of days

 

True colours etc...

[Angrydicky]

You sound like you have similar luck with females to me NC. Usually they're just not interested, preferring the hunkier, trendier guy who drives a Golf, they're gay, or I completely miss the signs until it's too late.

[dollywobbler]

Internet dating. It's the future. Or it was ten years ago. Er, that doesn't make any sense...

[Cavcraft]

I was going to suggest just be your self. The trouble with that is there's probably a very limited number of birds who want to date someone who gets excited by Hillman Hunter estates and whose perfect evening is sitting in front of a beige coloured internet page, asking why his 30 year old car won't start.  

[Lankytim]

A few days ago I sortof asked one of the girls I work with if she fancied going to the cinema to see the apparently excellent Gravity sometime. She declined and said it wasn't really her type of thing so I left it at that. Today one of the other guys mentioned the film to her, so right in front of me she immediately says she'd love to go with him and is free tomorrow. With the Merc that I just want rid of now broken, it really hasn't been the best of days

 

Just turn up at the cinema and sit in between them.

[wuvvum]

A few days ago I sortof asked one of the girls I work with if she fancied going to the cinema to see the apparently excellent Gravity sometime. She declined and said it wasn't really her type of thing so I left it at that. Today one of the other guys mentioned the film to her, so right in front of me she immediately says she'd love to go with him and is free tomorrow.

 

True colours etc...

 

Aye, it sounds to me like she's female.

[Lord Sterling]

A few days ago I sortof asked one of the girls I work with if she fancied going to the cinema to see the apparently excellent Gravity sometime. She declined and said it wasn't really her type of thing so I left it at that. Today one of the other guys mentioned the film to her, so right in front of me she immediately says she'd love to go with him and is free tomorrow.

This always used to happen to me, any girl I liked I asked, I was always given the bjg NO (or 'fuck off') so I've just given up completely, if a girl likes me, she can do the chasing. I am now trying to start my life (again) and hopefully at some point, go and try to meet up the possible future Lady_Sterling. Sadly what depressing me is, I'm stuck here and she is stuck in a bloody war zone

 

It'll work out mate.

[dollywobbler]

I've learnt from bitter experience that it's not a good idea to dip your pen in the company ink...

[phil_lihp]

To be honest if that's how she treats people then you've probably had a lucky escape.  I know from experience it isn't nice building up to ask someone out and being shot down but it usually works out for the best in the end.  The important thing is, you went for it.

[Cavcraft]

I've learnt from bitter experience that it's not a good idea to dip your pen in the company ink...

 

 

Me too, I got caught having sex with the Chinese girl from accounts in the lift. I was fucking Wong on a lot of levels.

[trigger]

 I genuinely just belly laughed then!

[Station]

Whore!

 

Remember when I was about 16* I was in the local nightclub and asked a row of about six girls standing next to each other if theyd get off with me. They ALL said NO.

 

(Whores!!)