The grumpy thread

7,378 · April 3

15 hours ago, New POD said:

I live near where the Waterloo Cup used to be held. Obviously Hare Coursing is banned, but the estate farms branched out into pheasant shooting.

Make them shoot prisoners serving long sentences instead, would save taxpayers a fucking fortune.

20,635 · April 4

dunno if this should be in here or a laugh

planned a trip that might take 3 days

kept looking at teh map - yeah thatll do but then messing with it cos of time and can i do that

3 hours and ummed and ahhhed

now changed mind and might finish off the welsh thing i was doing that i missed and some that i decided to come home instead

ffs

cant sleep so watching the snooker cos missed it cos was watching the cure thing on bbc four

12,030 · April 4

Fucking Evri.
I now have three separate orders from eBay on 24th March missing.
T Cut sent out a new bottle - that's here. Rattle cans, filler and stopper AWOL.

15,390 · April 4

Stupid pheasants....

I had a job to do on a farm in the middle of nowhere and while I was waiting for someone to come and open a gate I sat in the car and heard a weird knocking noise. Almost like acorns dropping on the car.

This went on for a few minutes, so confused I got out to look around.

There was a bloody pheasant attacking its own reflection in the chrome bumper trim.

They may be stupid but they seem to understand being charged at while being loudly told to fuck off?

7,757 · April 4

1 hour ago, Timewaster said:

Stupid pheasants....

I had a job to do on a farm in the middle of nowhere and while I was waiting for someone to come and open a gate I sat in the car and heard a weird knocking noise. Almost like acorns dropping on the car.

This went on for a few minutes, so confused I got out to look around.

There was a bloody pheasant attacking its own reflection in the chrome bumper trim.

They may be stupid but they seem to understand being charged at while being loudly told to fuck off?

We have Robins doing that on our car mirrors and the house windows, incredibly territorial little birds.

20,635 · April 4

lovely a35 van at auction and yer man bids 11100

reserve was 12000

rang the guy and he said meet ya at 11500

quibble fir 400 quid on 12 grand

wtf

16,029 · April 4

1 hour ago, Timewaster said:

Stupid pheasants....

I had a job to do on a farm in the middle of nowhere and while I was waiting for someone to come and open a gate I sat in the car and heard a weird knocking noise. Almost like acorns dropping on the car.

This went on for a few minutes, so confused I got out to look around.

There was a bloody pheasant attacking its own reflection in the chrome bumper trim.

They may be stupid but they seem to understand being charged at while being loudly told to fuck off?

Apparently bird are either very stupid or very clever. Corvids are at the top end on intelligence tests. My mother was brought up on a farm where chickens were kept, and she once told me that if you are chasing a hen and not making headway, just throw something in its general direction. Apparently, it will stop and run back to check out what the thrown object was.

5,324 · April 4

1 hour ago, chadders said:

We have Robins doing that on our car mirrors and the house windows, incredibly territorial little birds.

There was a swan from the local pond attacked its reflection in a car door mirror and ended up pulling the mirror off.

6,596 · April 4

There used to be a carlot in Sheffield think it was late 70s early 80s that had geese as security instead of a guard dog as they were more viscous.

Was in local paper & TV news.

18,794 · April 5

41 minutes ago, sheffcortinacentre said:

There used to be a carlot in Sheffield think it was late 70s early 80s that had geese as security instead of a guard dog as they were more viscous.

Was in local paper & TV news.

Ballantine’s whisky distillery in Glasgow was famously guarded by geese from 1959 until 2012. Unfortunately foxes were less scared of the geese than whisky thieves were.

Geese were also used as “guard dogs” in Ancient Rome.

8,639 · April 5

What you need is a prehistoric giant goose

https://www.bbc.co.uk/newsround/38585107

A herd of 1.5m tall geese roaming around the place in hi viz jackets would deter most thieving bastards.

Mind you if you’re resurrecting extinct bird species for property security purposes how about a bunch of these bad boys…

35,328 · April 5

7 hours ago, Metal Guru said:

Geese were also used as “guard dogs” in Ancient Rom

We met some guard geese when on a hike during our honeymoon in the Cairngorms. They were mighty effective.

11,475 · April 5

They can appear frightening, my old man taught me to lean down towards them and hiss... Before they do it to me!

8,639 · April 5

1 hour ago, barefoot said:

They can appear frightening, my old man taught me to lean down towards them and hiss... Before they do it to me!

My dad owns an especially bad tempered gander (called Bryan Gosling) who's M.O. is sneaking up on people and biting them on the back of the legs.

He hasn't done it to me yet but if he does I will actually tie his neck in a knot for him.

4,315 · April 5

On 03/04/2026 at 08:45, Unlucky Alf said:

Bloody pheasant's. They are such twats.

Driving through countryside and pheasant flys from other side of road, narrowly misses csr going in opposite direction and whomp.. hits nearside front.. ball of feathers and no doubt guts is batted across the road and I see it bowling down the road in the rear view mirror.

Pull over, inspect damage. Driving light and indicator totally smashed into inside of bumper but bumper has only light scuffing.

Ebay parts and araldite to the rescue, it had smashed one of the three screw mounts inside the bumper. Managed to replace the assembly by working through the wheel well, once I had dealt with rusty screws and useless plastic clips now replaced with cabletie.

Two days ago, im pootling down handcross hill at 60 in nearside lane…. Whump. Another fucking bird brain has flown across the barrier and hit car dead center, its then bounced upwards and over the roof, with impressive feather and bird debris viewable in the mirror. I get home to inspect the inevitable damage.

There is slight Beak/claw scratches on the paint above the plastic bumper but result, no other damage and the radiator/aircon pack are intact.

This time I thought I would grab the dashcam of it, to give marks out of 10 for artistic effort.

I Discovered the fucking dashcam hadnt recorded anything since 2024. Awesome.

Fucking pheasants, I’m still unsure how did I not hit at least one last weekend. First one decided that flying right in front of a car going 90+ kmh is an amazing idea. Clocked the fucker and managed to not hit it from behind. Second one just strolled onto the road in front of me, and decided to sloooooooooooowly walk across it. Much breaking and cursing from me and the car coming from the other direction ensued.

30,743 · April 5

Pheasant decided to slowly glide in front of me on the dual carriageway between Aberdeen and Blackburn one afternoon. Had plenty of time to see it coming, but in the outside lane of the dual carriageway there was basically bugger all I could do about it. Right, square in the middle of the radiator at whatever less than 70mph I managed to scrub off.

Radiator, AC condenser, fan, grill, one headlight, rippled the front of the bonnet, and an absolute horror show of a cleanup operation were needed before the car went anywhere again.

Fact that it was the front of a Volvo 240 probably didn't help - most cars it would probably have at least bounced off to some extent rather than just being hit by a high velocity brick.

Despite that memory attached to it, I'd still have bought it if I could have afforded it. Was an older stock to clear car, as such was being used as an errand runaround. Honestly think we were all kind of sad when it sold as it was a comfy old barge. Had some absolutely fierce heated seats too which in the middle of winter in Aberdeenshire were very welcome.

4,895 · April 5

My heat gun has shit itself. Working bloody fine yesterday.

April 5

Tree: 1

Rover: 0

... Bastard. This is the first time I've bumped into anything whilst driving since 1 week after passing my test at 17, reversing into a low wall outside my sisters then boyfriends house! Ah well, I think they call it 'character'.

14,852 · April 7

On 03/04/2026 at 20:07, GeorgeB said:

Try Brave browser.

The thing is, this is when I'm using YouTube via my Roku device. Nothing goes through the laptop/computer.

And it was really a general rant as wherever I look, I cannot go anywhere without ads shoved into my line of sight.

4,315 · April 7

1 hour ago, Lord Sterling said:

The thing is, this is when I'm using YouTube via my Roku device. Nothing goes through the laptop/computer.

And it was really a general rant as wherever I look, I cannot go anywhere without ads shoved into my line of sight.

Try Adguard home or Pi-hole. Some assembly required, though.

25,934 · April 7

Warning: It's a long one!

In his will, my late father left me a garage full of tools, primarily woodworking equipment. I am trying to determine whether it is feasible to bring this to Spain.

I needed to contact a solicitor to address some legal matters. Several solicitors said they do not handle this type of work, some did not respond, and one required all sorts of information, including proof of my identity and a check against money laundering. They also requested a £1,000 financial deposit. All I want is a few minutes of their time to answer basic legal questions—no money transfers involved. I know advise is not free. I may have found one solicitor, but I am currently on hold and awaiting a reply.

I also contacted several removal companies about moving what will be a partial load. One company responded and said they do not handle partial loads, that was opposite to that written on their website. As an alternative, I am trying to find a rental company that will allow me to self drive a van to the UK. Unfortunately, I do not live on the Mediterranean coast, where I believe one such company operates; I live more than a 9-hour drive away from their base.

I understand that any inherited goods are not subject to import taxes or VAT. However, I need clarity on the process and the actual documentation required.

All I want to establish is when I can access the items and how much it will cost to ship them. Why does this have to be so complicated?

If anyone here can help, please send me a PM with contacts or ideas.

3,327 · April 7

On 05/04/2026 at 08:29, loserone said:

We met some guard geese when on a hike during our honeymoon in the Cairngorms. They were mighty effective.

Read somewhere the other day:

As the story goes, a Mexican farm worker, whose English was not very good, was moving livestock to a pen and was hissed at by a Canada goose.

“I don’t like the cobra chicken,” he told his co-workers.

7,757 · April 7

2 hours ago, Remspoor said:

Warning: It's a long one!

In his will, my late father left me a garage full of tools, primarily woodworking equipment. I am trying to determine whether it is feasible to bring this to Spain.

I needed to contact a solicitor to address some legal matters. Several solicitors said they do not handle this type of work, some did not respond, and one required all sorts of information, including proof of my identity and a check against money laundering. They also requested a £1,000 financial deposit. All I want is a few minutes of their time to answer basic legal questions—no money transfers involved. I know advise is not free. I may have found one solicitor, but I am currently on hold and awaiting a reply.

I also contacted several removal companies about moving what will be a partial load. One company responded and said they do not handle partial loads, that was opposite to that written on their website. As an alternative, I am trying to find a rental company that will allow me to self drive a van to the UK. Unfortunately, I do not live on the Mediterranean coast, where I believe one such company operates; I live more than a 9-hour drive away from their base.

I understand that any inherited goods are not subject to import taxes or VAT. However, I need clarity on the process and the actual documentation required.

All I want to establish is when I can access the items and how much it will cost to ship them. Why does this have to be so complicated?

If anyone here can help, please send me a PM with contacts or ideas.

Quite a lot of solicitors here offer 1/2 hour of free advice, presumably hoping that it'll lead to further work, which in our case it did.

27,820 · April 7

On 28/03/2026 at 15:23, cobblers said:

I've been after a decent MWB Crafter 4x4 for a few months, they're not a common van and rare in the spec I need. I have a few saved searches on ebay / autotrader etc,

Finally, this morning the absolute perfect one popped up this morning. Right colour, 20k miles, one owner, right seats, fsh., and best of all it was about ten grand underpriced!!!!

I rang the seller - He'd only posted the advert 5 minutes ago, surprised to have someone call so soon. Seemed a decent bloke, had a good story etc. Only downside was the van is in portsmouth, a 4 hour drive. I said I would most likely come straight down, just needed to let my wife know because she would have to look after the dogs.

So I sent her a message "Any objections if I nip down to portsmouth to look at a van?"

No reply.

after 10 minutes I texted her "I need to let the guy know ASAP really, is it OK? can you keep an eye on the dogs?"

10 minutes later I get the dreaded: "Do whatever you want" 🙄

So obviously I had to let the seller know I was "just sorting something out" while I worked out what her problem was all of a sudden.

Anyway, I spoke to her shortly after and she apologised for being a grumpy arse and told me to go and buy the van. Which had obviously sold by this point.

Further to the above.

Yesterday I drove 5 hours to view this:

THIRTY SIX THOUSAND QUIDS. Absolutely off the top end of my budget but I would have stretched to it if it was absolutely mint.

The bottom half of the drivers side has been painted incredibly poorly, thick orange peel, shit masking. Filler work was already cracking, but the lacquer was still soft to the touch!

Both back doors and drivers rear pillar look like they have been caved in and then filled, there's inches of filler in them.

Passenger side bottom half has been painted and the lacquer is peeling off.

In total, 9.5 hours driving, £35 for a pitch on a campsite and near £150 in diesel wasted, Plus £55 for a steak and two pints at the only pub that was serving food on Easter monday within a 20 mile radius

16,029 · April 7

2 hours ago, cobblers said:

Further to the above.

Yesterday I drove 5 hours to view this:

THIRTY SIX THOUSAND QUIDS. Absolutely off the top end of my budget but I would have stretched to it if it was absolutely mint.

The bottom half of the drivers side has been painted incredibly poorly, thick orange peel, shit masking. Filler work was already cracking, but the lacquer was still soft to the touch!

Both back doors and drivers rear pillar look like they have been caved in and then filled, there's inches of filler in them.

Passenger side bottom half has been painted and the lacquer is peeling off.

In total, 9.5 hours driving, £35 for a pitch on a campsite and near £150 in diesel wasted, Plus £55 for a steak and two pints at the only pub that was serving food on Easter monday within a 20 mile radius

Sometimes, "you get what you pay for" just isn't true.

Category:Very Annoying.

16,029 · April 7

2 hours ago, cobblers said:

Further to the above.

Yesterday I drove 5 hours to view this:

THIRTY SIX THOUSAND QUIDS. Absolutely off the top end of my budget but I would have stretched to it if it was absolutely mint.

The bottom half of the drivers side has been painted incredibly poorly, thick orange peel, shit masking. Filler work was already cracking, but the lacquer was still soft to the touch!

Both back doors and drivers rear pillar look like they have been caved in and then filled, there's inches of filler in them.

Passenger side bottom half has been painted and the lacquer is peeling off.

In total, 9.5 hours driving, £35 for a pitch on a campsite and near £150 in diesel wasted, Plus £55 for a steak and two pints at the only pub that was serving food on Easter monday within a 20 mile radius

https://www.autotrader.co.uk/van-details/202604071354273

Is a MAN any good? A downside is the location - near Inverness.

18,794 · April 7

3 hours ago, artdjones said:

https://www.autotrader.co.uk/van-details/202604071354273

Is a MAN any good? A downside is the location - near Inverness.

Aren’t they just rebadged VW Crafters?

1,815 · April 8

11 hours ago, Remspoor said:

As an alternative, I am trying to find a rental company that will allow me to self drive a van to the UK. Unfortunately, I do not live on the Mediterranean coast, where I believe one such company operates; I live more than a 9-hour drive away from their base.

Would a secondary option be, hire the Van in the UK, drive it home and back (going to be the same distance either hiring in the UK or from home) then a cheap budget airline flight home to the nearest airport for pickup? Or are you really REALLY out in the sticks?

14,852 · April 8

13 hours ago, Remspoor said:

If anyone here can help, please send me a PM with contacts or ideas.

How about buying a cheap LWB van? Happy for you to register it to my address if needs be? Then when you want to sell it, leave it here, (albeit, I have no driveway or storage) or with another shiter and sell it.

25,934 · April 8

6 hours ago, robt100 said:

Would a secondary option be, hire the Van in the UK, drive it home and back (going to be the same distance either hiring in the UK or from home) then a cheap budget airline flight home to the nearest airport for pickup? Or are you really REALLY out in the sticks?

3 hours ago, Lord Sterling said:

How about buying a cheap LWB van? Happy for you to register it to my address if needs be? Then when you want to sell it, leave it here, (albeit, I have no driveway or storage) or with another shiter and sell it.

They are options I have am considering. However, I still need to obtain customs clearance. Forms to be filled, etc. If the goods are inherited then they are not subject to taxes both importation and VAT. Unlike if you ship personal belongings if say you move.

I know there are loads of videos on YouTube where the van just drives south. I do not believe all I see on YT. 😉

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