The grumpy thread

[myglaren]

WHY DO PEOPLE DRIVE SO FUCKING SLOWLY?

 

There's no need to lower the speed limit to 50 - they all drive at 45 already.

 

GET OUT OF MY WAY, I ONLY HAVE TWO DAYS TO DO ALL MY STUFF - YOU HAVE SEVEN YOU DOPEY TWAT.

Also people who take for foggin EVAH to get moving when the lights change. I make an effort to be ready to move off instantly as I'd watch the lights change several cars ahead - also the car in front but one: watch for their brake lights going off.

 

I't would make traffic flow so much better if these dozy giffers would wake up!

+1

Had it today where I pulled up in lane 1 and a pisscasso in lane 2 - when the lights go to green I'm gone and lose sight of her before she seems to set off - WTF .

 

Also these 45mph giffers do that whether they are on a motorway or in town in a 30 zone, nothing seems to make them change speed.WTF WTF

 

........and breathe - I feel better now

Hear, Hear!

IR Giffer but these twats drive me mental

[Lankytim]

Headache, dizziness, painful joints, unable to sleep, flashing lights a throat like sandpaper and to top it all extreme bad breath. Yep, ive got tonsilitis again. Doc has given me a shit load of drugs. Seems to be working. Tonsilitis sucks big time but its nothing compared to getting a lorry stuck in the toll booths in the mersey tunnel. Oh the humanity!

[Milford Cubicle]

The twathats (cheers Roddd/b and the county of Dumfries & Galloway) that get me are the ones who pull out of junctions in front of my car and proceed to accelerate up to cruising speed in about 15 minutes, obviously using about 10% of their car's power.

My mum is guilty of this, she hardly uses any of the rev range and I nearly had a fit when she shifted up a gear whilst overtaking - in the face of an oncoming car.

 

Get a move on, slow Norrises!

[Cavcraft]

Still have nightmares about exporting a damaged 4x4 to Iceland. It was an absolute pita from start to finish, mostly due to the same reasons you're experiencing Pete.

Tell us more Billy... sounds like a tale full of woe.

You did ask!...

 

Right, had a badly damaged Nissan Patrol 4.2 which I lobbed on eBaY. Some mental bird from Iceland (not Kerry Katona) asks if I'll export it. I agree to this if she pays all costs involved, including delivery from here to the docks (Immingham iIrc) and at her request get some quotes.

 

Did a bit of spadework, got contact at the docks, fixed up a recovery dude to collect it, all is sweet.

 

Except it wasn't.

 

Delivery driver comes, we get the 4x4 on to a trailer, which he was towing behind a 3.0 petrol Shogun!. As this is happening (and indeed beforehand) said mentalist Icelandic bint is calling every fucking hour God sends mithering them life out of me and pissing my lovely wife off.

So I fell it best to quadruple check that said loon has indeed sorted the shipping out and all the details with the shipping office. 'Yes' says daft cow, 'all sorted'. GR8 then.

 

Except it wasn't.

 

Recovery driver gets to the docks well handy, reports in. Gets royally fucked about by tosspot dock workers and is driving round between various bits of the dock dealing with people who just kept sending back to to someone else he'd already spoken too.

Ok he eventually gets the bloke without an attitude, told to stop where he was and he'll get unloaded soon. Ace job, all is now well.

 

Except it wasn't.

 

Docks then come back deny any knowledge of it being 'officially' booked in and driver sat waiting again and quite rightly getting SRSLY PSSD OV M8. So I'm on the blower to the lady at the docks and then the dizzy scrubber who has bought the car. Much hassle and grief later we're off again, told to 'phone the driver, take it to another part of the docks and he'll 'get unloaded without delay'. Fandabidozy job finally sorted.

 

Except it wasn't.

 

Driver gets to the point, meets one of the 'attitudes' from earlier who points him towards a container and tells him to drive it in.

Driver scratching head, tells 'attitude' it won't drive in because it's smashed to fuck.

'Attitude' asks why he wasn't told car was damaged, irate driver asks how the fuck he didn't notice as he's been stood next to the twatting thing for half an hour.

'This will delay things, might not be able to get it off' says 'Attitude' probably at the exact nano second the driver's patience finally ran out.

I then have to call said Icelandic slag back and explain she has half an hour to sort this and that if takes another 30+mins she's paying twice the original recovery quote as the driver will miss his next job.

Promises abound, fuck all happens, drivers its there another hour and a half or so.

So I call daft arse back, the docks won't budge, the shipping lady says it has an hour or so to get in the container or it misses the boat and doesn't sail until the next day and there are storage charges to keep it on the docks. Recovery man quoting BIG money to stay the night until it's offloaded. Calls Icelandic twat faced shagknackerator.

 

She apparantly 'has the upper hand' and isn't paying any more charges. No worries say I, the fucker's getting droped right where it is in the middle of the docks and she needs to call the shipping company to sort out the payment which was going to be fucking HUGE. I don't give a fuck, the driver's long since stopped caring and the shipping company weren't too arsed as they would get a good screw out of it whatever happened.

 

Finally sloppy slut realises I actually hold the aces and finally she's made another payment to me to couch to the driver and we're all sweet.

So fucking knows how many hours later (we're talking all day by the way) the fucker is off the trailer and shoved into a container with a big bastarding fork lift truck.

Recovery man heading back, tells me I owe him the extra plus a nice spot of dinner (which I sorted) and all is good.

 

Except, guess what? It wasn't.

 

Icelandic tart starts REALLY piling on the 'phone calls/messages etc and saying she'd been done over. I give her and her fella (who only joined in after the motor was on the boat) a lunatic verbal going over on the 'phone and offer to fax over all the receipts from the driver etc.

So it all goes quiet, driver and I have been paid and we're putting it behind us remembering not to bother again. Jobs a good un, hey?

 

Except...

 

...Paypal held all the money (including the money for the driver) and said I was money laundering. Took fucking weeks to get my bastarding money back off the thieving shower of shit.

Just to add insult to injury the moronic slag called to say there was a dent in the back door of the fucked 4x4.

 

'Phone slammed down, sim card possibly still floating down the river Dee somewhere.

 

And relax.

[Lord Sterling]

...Headache, dizziness, painful joints, unable to sleep, flashing lights a throat like sandpaper...

I've got that now, including a pimple on the end of my togue which hurts. I was ok this morning for the job test, but now feel really shit.

 

...'fraid you are being pissed around, more than likely that said vacancy doesn't exist or that someone is already working in that job...

I've always had my suspicions about advertised vacancies. Took the test this morning, they were, naturally timed, bloody tests were seriously difficult, the questions were mind boggling.

 

Anywa, apart from that and being ill all day, to add more shit to my day, just had an altercation with the scraggy, gravelly-voiced slag mum of a twat kid who was throwing something at my car. Told the kid to stay away from my car, 5 mins later his fag-smoking scrabby mum appears on my doorstep shouting all sorts. Told her to fuck off and take her twat son with her.

 

Fucking wankers! Why cant I just live in peace?

 

Internet - What the fuck is going on? I never seem to have a fully working internet connection that can just does what it is supposed to do. Download Firefox which worked ok for a few days, but even that now seems to be infected. Most of the time, all I ever get "Problem loading Page" ARRGGGHHHH!!!!!

[Station]

Two days so far without four wheels is killing me. I've got shitloads to do, but can't get it done. F*ck my car, f*ck it!

[CIH]

bank - wrote in for change of address 2 weeks ago = no response

carphone warehouse - applied online for pay monthly phone 2 weeks ago = no response

insurance - awating payout for the 924 for almost 3 weeks = no response

natwest = new account application posted a week ago = no response

 

pull you fingers out FFS! Especially CPW I have no phone, house or mobile grrrr.

[warren t claim]

Two days so far without four wheels is killing me. I've got shitloads to do, but can't get it done. F*ck my car, f*ck it!

My 205 might be for sale at a small price if you need transport.

[autofive]

went into Tescos again tonight

(i was also in there twice on monday, and once earlier today without incident)

 

get to the self-service tills and the same security guard gets really close to my head (like fulton mckay in Porridge) tells me ' i told you on sunday, that you are banned from this shop"

 

i look at him with surprise and say What?

 

he repeats it, starting this time with "you came into the shop at 4 oclock on sunday" - this is his first untruth in the conversation

 

then tells me if i come into this shop again etc etc

 

i go out to the car, dump my shopping, then back in the shop to the customer services bit (just inside the door) and ask if the duty manager is around, she arrives, with the security guard and a man with a folder taking notes

 

i ask her whats going on? This guy says im barred? why am I barred from here?, i use this shop everyday, seven days a week, its my local shop

security guard butts in and tells her i was banned, by the manager on sunday because i came into the store when it was closed

 

i ask him to repeat he says '"you came into the shop at 4 oclock on sunday, (same untruth) when the store was closed, you ignored me, and the manager, and you were told you were banned"

 

i said: it wasnt 4 oclock, the shop was open, the fag counter was open and serving customers, the tills were open, customers and staff in the shop, and got my shopping waited at the till to be served, paid and left, no one spoke to me, other than the guy on the till, and heres the receipt from sunday"

and showed the receipt timed 15:59 and explained that this was after i had walked around the shop

 

security guard butts in again " you ignored me and the manager"

 

i say" i didnt hear anyone speak to me, and anyway what is the reason for the ban because i didnt hear you?

 

she cuts in to the security guard, who is a bit red faced at this point and tries to be diplomatic, asks for my contact number, i give her my mobile number and my first name, and tells me tomorrows duty manager will ring me in the morning.

 

anyone work for tescos can get me the North East area managers name and possibly email / phone number?

 

im not taking this lying down, but think i wont get anywhere with the local shop managers, i need someone higher up to kick ass

[gearoil]

Still have nightmares about exporting a damaged 4x4 to Iceland. It was an absolute pita from start to finish, mostly due to the same reasons you're experiencing Pete.

Tell us more Billy... sounds like a tale full of woe.

You did ask!...

 

 

Crikey! Thats weapons grade arseache.

[Station]

Two days so far without four wheels is killing me. I've got shitloads to do, but can't get it done. F*ck my car, f*ck it!

My 205 might be for sale at a small price if you need transport.

How much!? I'd ride on a 9v motor powered roller skate at the moment.

[warren t claim]

I'm off to look at a replacement for the 205 tomorrow. I'll let you know.

[scaryoldcortina]

Autofive, if you need a witness to say you were using an angle-grinder all sunday afternoon without ear protection, I'll speak up (and provide photos)

[autofive]

Autofive, if you need a witness to say you were using an angle-grinder all sunday afternoon without ear protection, I'll speak up (and provide photos)

mmm, okay

 

scimitar now looks like this:

 

[Mr H Sceptre]

Still have nightmares about exporting a damaged 4x4 to Iceland. It was an absolute pita from start to finish, mostly due to the same reasons you're experiencing Pete.

Tell us more Billy... sounds like a tale full of woe.

You did ask!...

 

Right, had a badly damaged Nissan Patrol 4.2 which I lobbed on eBaY. Some mental bird from Iceland (not Kerry Katona) asks if I'll export it. I agree to this if she pays all costs involved, including delivery from here to the docks (Immingham iIrc) and at her request get some quotes.

 

Did a bit of spadework, got contact at the docks, fixed up a recovery dude to collect it, all is sweet.

 

Except it wasn't.

 

Delivery driver comes, we get the 4x4 on to a trailer, which he was towing behind a 3.0 petrol Shogun!. As this is happening (and indeed beforehand) said mentalist Icelandic bint is calling every fucking hour God sends mithering them life out of me and pissing my lovely wife off.

So I fell it best to quadruple check that said loon has indeed sorted the shipping out and all the details with the shipping office. 'Yes' says daft cow, 'all sorted'. GR8 then.

 

Except it wasn't.

 

Recovery driver gets to the docks well handy, reports in. Gets royally fucked about by tosspot dock workers and is driving round between various bits of the dock dealing with people who just kept sending back to to someone else he'd already spoken too.

Ok he eventually gets the bloke without an attitude, told to stop where he was and he'll get unloaded soon. Ace job, all is now well.

 

Except it wasn't.

 

Docks then come back deny any knowledge of it being 'officially' booked in and driver sat waiting again and quite rightly getting SRSLY PSSD OV M8. So I'm on the blower to the lady at the docks and then the dizzy scrubber who has bought the car. Much hassle and grief later we're off again, told to 'phone the driver, take it to another part of the docks and he'll 'get unloaded without delay'. Fandabidozy job finally sorted.

 

Except it wasn't.

 

Driver gets to the point, meets one of the 'attitudes' from earlier who points him towards a container and tells him to drive it in.

Driver scratching head, tells 'attitude' it won't drive in because it's smashed to fuck.

'Attitude' asks why he wasn't told car was damaged, irate driver asks how the fuck he didn't notice as he's been stood next to the twatting thing for half an hour.

'This will delay things, might not be able to get it off' says 'Attitude' probably at the exact nano second the driver's patience finally ran out.

I then have to call said Icelandic slag back and explain she has half an hour to sort this and that if takes another 30+mins she's paying twice the original recovery quote as the driver will miss his next job.

Promises abound, fuck all happens, drivers its there another hour and a half or so.

So I call daft arse back, the docks won't budge, the shipping lady says it has an hour or so to get in the container or it misses the boat and doesn't sail until the next day and there are storage charges to keep it on the docks. Recovery man quoting BIG money to stay the night until it's offloaded. Calls Icelandic twat faced shagknackerator.

 

She apparantly 'has the upper hand' and isn't paying any more charges. No worries say I, the fucker's getting droped right where it is in the middle of the docks and she needs to call the shipping company to sort out the payment which was going to be fucking HUGE. I don't give a fuck, the driver's long since stopped caring and the shipping company weren't too arsed as they would get a good screw out of it whatever happened.

 

Finally sloppy slut realises I actually hold the aces and finally she's made another payment to me to couch to the driver and we're all sweet.

So fucking knows how many hours later (we're talking all day by the way) the fucker is off the trailer and shoved into a container with a big bastarding fork lift truck.

Recovery man heading back, tells me I owe him the extra plus a nice spot of dinner (which I sorted) and all is good.

 

Except, guess what? It wasn't.

 

Icelandic tart starts REALLY piling on the 'phone calls/messages etc and saying she'd been done over. I give her and her fella (who only joined in after the motor was on the boat) a lunatic verbal going over on the 'phone and offer to fax over all the receipts from the driver etc.

So it all goes quiet, driver and I have been paid and we're putting it behind us remembering not to bother again. Jobs a good un, hey?

 

Except...

 

...Paypal held all the money (including the money for the driver) and said I was money laundering. Took fucking weeks to get my bastarding money back off the thieving shower of shit.

Just to add insult to injury the moronic slag called to say there was a dent in the back door of the fucked 4x4.

 

'Phone slammed down, sim card possibly still floating down the river Dee somewhere.

 

And relax.

Haha Billy, that is the funniest thing I've read all week, obv wasnt for you at the time, but you know what I mean.....

[Mr H Sceptre]

bank - wrote in for change of address 2 weeks ago = no response

carphone warehouse - applied online for pay monthly phone 2 weeks ago = no response

insurance - awating payout for the 924 for almost 3 weeks = no response

natwest = new account application posted a week ago = no response

 

pull you fingers out FFS! Especially CPW I have no phone, house or mobile grrrr.

 

Tell me about it.

 

I got a letter from Twat West addressed to me & the ex-missus about our joint bank account this week. We split up in 2002 & closed the account in 2003. Twats.

[Father Ted]

Banks +1

Have lived here for 16 years

Every year get a statement for some high yeild investment account addressed to Mr Garlington (who aint lived here for at least 20 years).

Keep telling the bank he dunt live here - they still keep sending me his stuff.

[FredTransit]

Advertising calls. Put an ad on Gumtree for removals (yes it's that bad). Had a few calls, at least there's some interest. Today in the space of an hour I have had three calls offering advertising. One wasn't even for us (Mr Haggis the plumber? WTF?).

 

IF I WANT TO PAY FOR ADVERTISING I WILL CALL YOU!! FFS!

[Mr_Bo11ox]

'Mr Haggis the Plumber' LOL! He sounds like someone from a kids TV programme, I bet he's got a shiny blue van and overalls and keeps all the old ladies in the village happy by fixing problems with their 'pipes'.

[Negative Creep]

Stupid customers as per usual. Yes there is a problem with the network. No I cannot tell you know when it will be fixed. This is because I don't have that information since the techs haven't told me. Believe it or not they are working as fast as they can. Hence I cannot answer your question. Repeating it several times and moaning will not change that fact.

[Minimad5]

Been lugged with yet another laptop -

 

Not so clever guy = "You know how to fix things don't you ?"

 

Me = "eerm kind of"

 

Afew hours later 'KNOCK KNOCK'

Not so clever guy is standing at my door with his laptop "Cheers mate" and fucks off

Don't mind helping people, but i believe this is called Taking the piss .

[dollywobbler]

Fix it by filling it with viruses. Then tell him "Sorry, turns out I'm not very good at fixing things." Make sure you set his desktop picture to a rusty Tagora.

[seth]

If people ask me to fix something electronical I usually show them my biggest hammer.

[Minimad5]

Well after 5 minutes of turning this piece of shit on it has turned itself off ....

Turned it back on and nice blue screen of death.

Wtf has he done to this computer ?

 

You will either see another post by me saying:

 

"YES IT WORKS"

or

"It's full blown dead"

 

Cast your votes now

[Pete-M]

Virgin fucking Media.

 

Useless bunch of cunts who should be first against the wall when the revolution comes. If their internet service wasn't any good, I wouldn't touch them with a shitty stick. However, dealing with them is a truly painful and to be avoided experience, and almost enough to make me consider finally going elsewhere.

 

Firstly, they seem to randomly raise the price of their alleged "10 meg" service. £25 a month, plus an extra fiver if you don't pay by direct debit. Then the billing department is shite. I cancelled paper billing with them (because they charge for it) and still get paper bills.

 

It takes half an hour to get through to the useless fuckers on the phone, during which time I'm asked repeatedly by some robot bint for my Virgin Media phone number - even though I don't have one. Eventuallly robot bint (who sounds like a less croaky V B-H) works it out and transfers me to the billing department furthest from my home. Occasionally India, more often than not Newcastle or Sahhhhfend on Sea (or somewhere equally southern).

 

Robot bint doesn't transfer the call instantly though, first she'll subject you to "A choice of music for you, would you like A: Dance shite, B: Indie shite, C: Chart Shite or D: Classical shite?" if you ignore her you seem to end up with Lady Gaga anyway.

 

Eventually sales droid will answer "Hello, Virgin Media, Droid 3541 speaking. Can I have your Virgin Media phone number please?" ARRGH. Fuckwits. Give them account number, password and all the other bullshit and pay the fucking bill. Complain about the fact they're £20 more than I can get an identical service for and get totally blanked by the fucking braindead twats. "I'm sorry sir, have you considered paying by direct debit?", "No, have I fuck as like. I don't get to the bank often, and I never know when you lot want the money as your billing department is shite".

 

Just went online to the complaints department and they expect me to enter all my personal details, passwords, the fucking lot. They want permission to e-mail (including special deals etc) and to be honest I couldn't be bothered typing all that shit in just to get the traditional "Thank you for your input" e-mail back off them. I've got hundreds of them from all the times I've tried to get sense out of the useless shower of shit over the last fuck knows how long. I've had this interweb connection since Telewest wired up the area, but Virgin don't half know how to fuck up the customer service.

 

I really am fed up to fuck with these cunts, but their actual interweb is ok.

 

Oh, forgot to mention.

 

Today, they sent an e-mail saying that I need to change all my e-mail settings if I don't use Outlook Excuse (which I don't). So I click on the link, which opens in Firefox, obviously. I'm then greeted by a message telling me that their "how to fix your email" page only works with Interweb Exploder, so I close FF down and open IE. I open their little tool to do all the settings for me, and it tries to change my home page to Virginmedia.net. They can fuck right off, so I deny the change. Their little program tries again, and I block it again. Is there an option to not use Virgin Media as the homepage? No. It then tries to install some fucking Virgin Media toolbar which I don't want either.

 

Basically, it takes twice as long to fuck all their shit off than it does to install a basic little program.

 

Virgin Media.... shafting everyone since 2005.

[Lord Sterling]

...Afew hours later 'KNOCK KNOCK'

Not so clever guy is standing at my door with his laptop "Cheers mate" and fucks off

Don't mind helping people, but i believe this is called Taking the piss...

Dont do anything with it, and when he asks for it back, look confused and explain you thought he'd given you the laptop to keep

 

...I open their little tool to do all the settings for me, and it tries to change my home page to Virginmedia.net. They can fuck right off, so I deny the change. Their little program tries again, and I block it again. Is there an option to not use Virgin Media as the homepage? No. It then tries to install some fucking Virgin Media toolbar which I don't want either.

 

Basically, it takes twice as long to fuck all their shit off than it does to install a basic little program...

Every fucking programme these days has those little hidden trojans that want to download themselves onto your computer without your say.

 

I'm always wary of what I download and 'uncheck' all those bastard options that want to install themselves. Problem is, I'm not the only one who uses the computer so when ever someone else uses it, I always find these bloody toolbars and programes I dont want and have to waste time uninstalling them.

[warren t claim]

Well after 5 minutes of turning this piece of shit on it has turned itself off ....

Turned it back on and nice blue screen of death.

Wtf has he done to this computer ?

 

You will either see another post by me saying:

 

"YES IT WORKS"

or

"It's full blown dead"

 

Cast your votes now

Don't suppose you have a spare ethernet card knocking about have you?

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Well after 5 minutes of turning this piece of shit on it has turned itself off ....

Turned it back on and nice blue screen of death.

Wtf has he done to this computer ?

 

You will either see another post by me saying:

 

"YES IT WORKS"

or

"It's full blown dead"

 

Cast your votes now

Fix it.

Install a keylogger and remote desktop.

Grab his eBay and Paypal logins.

Buy anything Raymanboy lists.

[Lord Sterling]

@ Warrens avatar

[barrett]

My mates worked in a call centre some years back, and there was a training day where they learnt about the best customer service. As an example of Bad Customer Service they were shown something called 'the Virgin letter', which was a real letter of complaint to virgin basically saying what you are saying, but with about 100x more expletives. It ended with something like ''please find enclosed a recent deposit from my dog, which i feel sums up your level of customer service completely''

 

 

but yeh, they do have a good internetz, my porn/ shite is superfast