The grumpy thread

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

A TWAT before he parked for having a bmw

 

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Why?

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

The idea the headlight now turns itself off to illuminate the indicator is, quite frankly, fucking ridiculous. Just have them separate like the glory days.

 

Course it is. DRL's are a nightmare. It's another example of common sense* being eroded. Soon, it will be but a distant memory - having to think for yourself.

 

In the year 2525, DRL's come on when you drive........

[ruffgeezer]

Fucking bastard boiler has gone for a burton.

[Jim Bell]

I've been finding it harder to spot front end indicators in the daytime as displayed by modern cars on the road/roundabouts etc.  The random visability and position of indicators is only topped on my shitlist by VERY POWERFULL MODERN HID HEADLIGHTS THAT BLIND EVERYONE, THE PEOPLE DRIVING IN FRONT OF YOU, ONCOMING TRAFFIC, PEDESTRIANS, RABBITS, LIGHT HOUSE KEEPERS, ASTRONAUGHTS......

[Pillock]

A TWAT before he parked for having a bmw

 

Why's that then?

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Why's that then?

 

 

Insert tailgating/not using indicators cliche here. The usual.

[Pillock]

Can't go round threatening powerfully built directors like me.

[strangeangel]

Why's that then?

 

He's probably referring to the idea that most of the people who drive them behave like selfish, entitled tossers who exhibit not the slightest concern for the safety of other road users. Granted, he's generalising in implying it's all of them, IME when out on two wheels it's only about 98%.

 

You did ask.

[somewhatfoolish]

Bill 'The Gaffer' Maynard has popped his clogs. 89 though, so a good innings.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

He's probably referring to the idea that most of the people who drive them behave like selfish, entitled tossers .

 

 

I can't recall him meeting me tbh.

[Timewaster]

The twat for having a BMW post should have been more specific.

 

It's a 1 series convertible FFS.

[purplebargeken]

Oh joy. I am now allergic to frozen cherries. Something else I can no longer eat, fucking great. Thankful for Piriton.

[SierraMikeHotel]

There's a disabled parking bay outside my building. I could post a version of this every day. People are arseholes

[sierraman]

EBay buyer: can I offer you 75% less than the asking price?

 

Me: yes if you'll let me smash it into its component parts over your head first.

[Cheggers]

The twat for having a BMW post should have been more specific.

 

It's a 1 series convertible FFS.

Autoshite having a pop at you because of what you drive.

 

 

Oh the ironing.

 

 

*Yes, my daughter drives a 1 series convertible.

 

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[BavarianRetro]

Lucky her. The one series convertible is a cracking wee thing. The coupe isn't a bad looking car either.

 

Small, handles well, proper folding, canvas roof, not a bloated hydraulic electromechanical folding metal roof (though the Z4 looks great).

 

A real successor to the beloved E30 convertible and one of the very, very few post 2000 BMWs I'd own.

 

Calling someone a "twat" for the make of car they choose to drive says far more about the person doing the name calling.

 

Twat.

[BavarianRetro]

Cunting postman.

 

So, a parcel containing some car bits needed for a job I'm doing Saturday was due to be delivered yesterday.

 

I'm out all day, yesterday.

 

So I leave a note on the door.

 

HEY WAIT, WAIT A MINUTE CUNTING POSTMAN

PLEASE LEAVE ANY SIGNED FOR PARCELS WITH THE POST OFFICE.

WHICH IS RIGHT NEXT FUCKING DOOR.

 

But no. Cunting postman leaves a fucking card saying it's been taken to the sorting office.

 

Which is fucking closed today because it's fucking easter and I wont be able to get out now till fucking Tuesday.

 

Doesn't matter as I've got other stuff to do. But if it was urgent, I'd be fucked.

 

But enjoy the wind and rain delivering letters for whatever derisory sum you get paid, cunt.

Quality rant. 10/10. Go to the top of the class.

[r.welfare]

EBay buyer: can I offer you 75% less than the asking price?

 

Me: yes if you'll let me smash it into its component parts over your head first.

I'm not only enjoying that, but people asking if the part will fit their car AFTER they have made the offer (and if I've accepted). Cretinous oafs.

[Timewaster]

I'll get me coat....

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I'm not only enjoying that, but people asking if the part will fit their car AFTER they have made the offer (and if I've accepted). Cretinous oafs.

Clearly the answer is a confident-sounding 'yes it will definitely fit sir' right?

[Cheggers]

Anything will fit if you possess a hammer and duct tape

 

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[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Quality rant. 10/10. Go to the top of the class.

 

 

Cheers. I felt it was justified.

 

Sometimes only the C word - much maligned - will do.

[Dirk Diggler]

And you're flying in the annual cunt count; win win

[Tetleysmooth]

Will this poxy bloody winter never end.

Almost April and still scraping ice off the 'screen.

Just about every night this week, every matrix sign on the motorways had 'salt spreading' illuminated.

 

My second job last night was a trunk to our Snodland DC. The weight wasn't too bad, about 35 tons, but the silly effers in our warehouse had loaded all the weight over the three trailer axles, not much weight on the front at all, so very little traction. It was so light on the front, that the middle axle on the tractor unit never lowered automatically as it should.

The roads were wet and greasy from earlier rain, and my drive wheels were just spinning every time I pulled away.

All the way from Thurrock to Snodland, my arsehole was biting lumps out of the seat. One little mistake and the truck would've ended up in a lovely 'L' shape.

 

So please to the gods that control our seasons, can we have some warm weather and dry roads now?

[Angrydicky]

The car is undoubtedly horrible. But the owner is a twat for parking across two spaces in a busy retail park, on a bank holiday, when cars were queuing out onto the roundabout to get in, and spaces were in very short supply. 

[Cavcraft]

I don't know what you're moaning about. Just came away from the doctors where he told me I’m clinically obese. As if I don’t have enough on my plate.

[John F]

Cavcraft, on 31 Mar 2018 - 12:40 PM, said:

I don't know what you're moaning about. Just came away from the doctors where he told me I’m clinically obese. As if I don’t have enough on my plate.

 

Groan/10.

[Aston Martin]

I’m prepared for the hatred...

Me and my buddy have PCP cars, she has a DS3 I have the Cacti obviously.

Hers is due a service, but she didn’t want to pay main dealer prices. If you use “genuine Citroen parts” then you can get it serviced anywhere. She rings the Citroen specialist place... “I’m sorry, we’re not vat registered. We can’t do it”

I check the Citroen service website and it’s £165, but the website stops working so she rings Evans Halshaw. “Yep, that’ll be £299.” She explains that the official Citroen website is £165. “Erm, that’s a big price difference we’ll have to get back to you to authorise”

I assume Evans Halshaw say that washer fluid is recommended replacement and is only £75.

I’m taking the Cactus in at the same time for a service and I have a recall, plus I need to check my doors as alot.... a fucking lot. Of Cactus owners have had all four doors replaced due to rust.

Oh and another £100 tyre needed, due to a nail and I refuse to put Pjangwangtang tyres on it.

 

Fuck me with a baseball bat.

 

My buddy said "yeah they rang to confirm this morning."

 

I rang, we can fit you in Wednesday. "You're not booked in" Which fucks over the plan of booking the car in for the same day. My email says that it's booked... Not confirmed.

 

 

"Would you like £35 engine flush?"

 

My response was nice...

[Parky]

I am forever getting letters for Mrs P's car stating that it is essential the car is booked in for a fuel system flush.

 

Yeah OK mate, I will make a special trip over and sit in your reception area drinking your filthy coffee while you tip a bottle of Forte or Redex in the tank and charge me £30 for the privilege.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

 

 

So please to the gods that control our seasons, can we have some warm weather and dry roads now?

 

 

No. Absolutely fucking it down with rain in Sheffield until an hour ago, sleet/snow on Monday and then more rain the rest off the week.

 

That'll be nice. 

 

As part of Tory cuts, Spring and Autumn have been discontinued. It's Summer and Winter now with not much to differentiate the two. I haven't heard a single bird singing yet. Spring? Yeah, right.