The grumpy thread

[captain_70s]

Heatwave! It's 12.2 degrees in my office...

Currently 11.8 in my living room, heating has been off since 11am, won't be back on 'till tomorrow, nice and toasty as a top floor flat. My old house used to sit at 8-10 degrees in winter with the heating on full blast!

 

Went to Morrisons, no milk or bread. Fuck off. People fucking panic buying for 2 days of moderate snow...

[busmansholiday]

Yesterday I spent half the day scanning slides. Went to pack up and fuck me, Captain bastard Kirk beams down, nicks the SD card out the scanner and fucks off back to plant zog. I've looked everywhere but this is the only explanation there can be.

[AMC Rebel]

Yesterday I spent half the day scanning slides. Went to pack up and fuck me, Captain bastard Kirk beams down, nicks the SD card out the scanner and fucks off back to plant zog. I've looked everywhere but this is the only explanation there can be.

That bastard also has a number of my socks.

[cros]

First a disclaimer. This is in not a Brexit related post, the stupidity could have happened anywhere.

 

The syphon packed up in the upstairs bog, so I replaced it with a Dudley's Turbo 88, which is the choice of the cistern connoisseur. Why? If the names not reason enough it's the one that splits in half so should you be foolish enough to run a close-coupled WC you don't have to demolish the entire bathroom to change the syphon.

Anyway, I've fitted loads of these but noticed a few changes on this from earlier models. I shoved it in regardless and took it for a test ride. I held the lever down for the usual long flush option, and it did a short one. Push the bastard down momentarily and you get a full tank down the pan. Unbelievable, they've changed the protocol to bring us in line with Europe. Now I have to remember to execute a flush differently depending on which toilet I'm in, it's too much to cope with.

No wonder May's having so much trouble unravelling this mess.

[twosmoke300]

Thanks.. That confirmes pretty much what I expected.. it's just a cow to do the OMGHGF with the engine in place, so it's coming out. And probably just getting an engine swap.

 

If I swap engines (same year, same engine, same car) does the ECU need to know it's talking to different injectors? I know I can't swap ECU's without having a major lexia/similar recoding session, but I'm hoping injectors are just plug-and-pray.

Hdi 90 doesnt have coded injectors just be aware there are two systems - Bosch and Siemens 

[Supernaut]

Not really a grump, but thought I'd update. Things took a swerve and we're booked in for a flight tomorrow at midday.

 

All courtesy of KLM

[beko1987]

Ace! Are klm covering the bar bill too?

[bramz7]

Thanks to a car friend and contact in London (he's on here) I have managed to contact someone selling a Fiat Tempra SW. 

 

Downsides. MOT expires in 4 days and they want £500. And the wipers don't work. 

 

 

 

I am trying to barter them down but it's tough. 

[Talbot]

Hdi 90 doesnt have coded injectors just be aware there are two systems - Bosch and Siemens

Thank goodness for that! Thanks for that info.

 

I *think* these engines are both siemens. The injectors look identical and I'm sure I've seen Siemens labelling on it somewhere. Is there a really easy way to check which type it has?

 

Keeping this relevant for the grump thread. Trying to get the old Berlingo into a position on my car transporter trailer so that I can strip the fucker for everything of value and then just drop it on the deck and heave it away for scrap, and I've just not been thinking straight, and have cocked up jacking the vehicle, so it's slipped over and half-fallen off the side.

 

An hour of jacking and heaving later, and it's finally back centralised on the trailer on axle stands. Why is it I manage to cock up the easiest* of jobs.

[Lord Sterling]

As per News 24 thread, BMW broke down late morning. The RAC centre quoted a time of 5+ hours before they'd come out to me, seeing as I was 6 miles from home I thought I'd jump on a train home and wait for the call. The patrolman from RAC phoned me up just as I got home, it'd take me at least an hour (yes, an hour to do 6 miles on public transport) so we rebooked for 5pm, I harangued a mate of mine to take me down for 5pm but the patrolman didn't make it for then, mate was in a rush so we tried to to jump start the BMW but it still "coughed". As I got home, the same thing happened; phone call from patrolman, I assured him I'd be there in 20 mi s, but sadly all of the taxis decided to stop running. I phoned up RAC again and rebooked it for tomorrow and told them give me at least 1 hours notice as I'm not exactly around the corner. I still don't know what the fuck is wrong with the car?

 

Also, wife has been rather unhelpful these last few days, right on the eve of the Visa application being submitted. This is really my one and only chance to make some sort of life, if she doesn't play ball it'll fuck up my future but hers aswell.

[Cavcraft]

Went to Morrisons for milk today, all gone. No pre-work porridge for me tomorrow.

 

I don't know what you're moaning about. My mum and dad are midgets, all my life they've struggled to put food on the table.

[wuvvum]

Ordered a new post-cat Lambda sensor for the C4  It arrived today.  Open the box and hmm, that cable doesn't look long enough and the connector's the wrong colour.  It's too bastard cold to go out and check now, but I think they've sent me a pre-cat sensor.  FFS.

[wuvvum]

Went to Morrisons for milk today, all gone. No pre-work porridge for me tomorrow.

You could always make it with water.  Then you could eat it out of a blue plastic bowl and pretend you're in prison.

[twosmoke300]

Scottish porridge- made with water and salt not milk and sugar

[dave21478]

Ordered a new post-cat Lambda sensor for the C4  It arrived today.  Open the box and hmm, that cable doesn't look long enough and the connector's the wrong colour.  It's too bastard cold to go out and check now, but I think they've sent me a pre-cat sensor.  FFS.

 

 

In vaguely similar lamdba whinging, I ordered a universal one for the panda engine swap project and when it turned up its only got about 10cm of wire on it. Every other universal one has had about 30cm, and of course fuckin nob-head here has cut the original wiring too short now, so its either loads of crimps and extend the wires or a trip to the scrappy for another, longer wire with the right plug on it.

[twosmoke300]

Is this for the car that's failed on emissions wuv? You do know the post cat lambda has no bearing on the running / emissions of the car don't you ?

They were phased in in 2000 ish to enable manufacturers to meet the new ( poss e3) emissions levels by providing a feed back loop to the ecu of cat efficiency.

It's the one that brings up the p0340 cat failure code beloved of many old jap cars

[DodgeRover]

First a disclaimer. This is in not a Brexit related post, the stupidity could have happened anywhere.

 

The syphon packed up in the upstairs bog, so I replaced it with a Dudley's Turbo 88, which is the choice of the cistern connoisseur. Why? If the names not reason enough it's the one that splits in half so should you be foolish enough to run a close-coupled WC you don't have to demolish the entire bathroom to change the syphon.

Anyway, I've fitted loads of these but noticed a few changes on this from earlier models. I shoved it in regardless and took it for a test ride. I held the lever down for the usual long flush option, and it did a short one. Push the bastard down momentarily and you get a full tank down the pan. Unbelievable, they've changed the protocol to bring us in line with Europe. Now I have to remember to execute a flush differently depending on which toilet I'm in, it's too much to cope with.

No wonder May's having so much trouble unravelling this mess.

Don't worry when we recapture the colonies all these things will be harmonised and unfortunates such as yourself will be provided with correct English flushing toilets at no charge to yourself. I understand that disguised as harmless OAPs we already have tens of thousands of troops and sleeper agents in Spain and other sunny areas ready to act given the word.

 

Obviously by the time this happens you may have learned the new flush pattern, should this happen worry not as I understand the planned forced re-education camps in Rhyll will be staffed by the finest members of the medical profession that the lowest bidder can aquire.

[Noel Tidybeard]

Also, wife has been rather unhelpful these last few days, right on the eve of the Visa application being submitted. This is really my one and only chance to make some sort of life, if she doesn't play ball it'll fuck up my future but hers aswell.

 

...and this surprises you how?

[Tamworthbay]

Don't worry when we recapture the colonies all these things will be harmonised and unfortunates such as yourself will be provided with correct English flushing toilets at no charge to yourself. I understand that disguised as harmless OAPs we already have tens of thousands of troops and sleeper agents in Spain and other sunny areas ready to act given the word.

Obviously by the time this happens you may have learned the new flush pattern, should this happen worry not as I understand the planned forced re-education camps in Rhyll will be staffed by the finest members of the medical profession that the lowest bidder can aquire.

That has made my day

[Lord Sterling]

...and this surprises you how?

This Visa has been 3 years coming. I've struggled to keep a roof over her head and food on the table for her. I've tried to visit her as often as I can snd now on the eve of the Visa being submitted, and she starts getting 'unhelpful'. I think I may be alone for a little while longer....

[wuvvum]

Is this for the car that's failed on emissions wuv? You do know the post cat lambda has no bearing on the running / emissions of the car don't you ?

They were phased in in 2000 ish to enable manufacturers to meet the new ( poss e3) emissions levels by providing a feed back loop to the ecu of cat efficiency.

It's the one that brings up the p0340 cat failure code beloved of many old jap cars

Yes, that's the car.  I'm not sure it's going to do much for the emissions, but it's the post-cat sensor which has been putting the EML on every 10 minutes (according to my code reader anyway) so hopefully replacing it will make the EML STFU for a while*.

 

Re emissions, I'm going to try a bottle of injector cleaner, a new air filter and a longer, harder pre-test thrash and see if that's enough to get it through - it seems a bit OTT to fork out a bloody fortune on a new cat when the fast idle CO is only 0.07 %points above the limit, and the natural idle CO reading is within the limit.

 

 

 

*it's not throwing up a cat failure code, it's throwing up a P0141 which as far as I can tell is a problem with the sensor itself.

[panhard65]

Yes, that's the car.  I'm not sure it's going to do much for the emissions, but it's the post-cat sensor which has been putting the EML on every 10 minutes (according to my code reader anyway) so hopefully replacing it will make the EML STFU for a while*.

 

Re emissions, I'm going to try a bottle of injector cleaner, a new air filter and a longer, harder pre-test thrash and see if that's enough to get it through - it seems a bit OTT to fork out a bloody fortune on a new cat when the fast idle CO is only 0.07 %points above the limit, and the natural idle CO reading is within the limit.

 

 

 

*it's not throwing up a cat failure code, it's throwing up a P0141 which as far as I can tell is a problem with the sensor itself.

It will be the cat no point changing the sensor it is doing it's job and putting the light on because the readings post cat are wrong

[tommotech]

Yes, that's the car.  I'm not sure it's going to do much for the emissions, but it's the post-cat sensor which has been putting the EML on every 10 minutes (according to my code reader anyway) so hopefully replacing it will make the EML STFU for a while*.

 

Re emissions, I'm going to try a bottle of injector cleaner, a new air filter and a longer, harder pre-test thrash and see if that's enough to get it through - it seems a bit OTT to fork out a bloody fortune on a new cat when the fast idle CO is only 0.07 %points above the limit, and the natural idle CO reading is within the limit.

 

 

 

*it's not throwing up a cat failure code, it's throwing up a P0141 which as far as I can tell is a problem with the sensor itself.

P0141 is related to the Heating side of the sensor. This could, indeed, be because that part of the circuit has failed within the sensor but could equally be wiring / power supply (fuse?) to the heating element.

 

Apologies if I’ve missed any of the diagnostic steps and this has been covered.

[warren t claim]

I bought a decent bottle of wine tonight for the first time in ages. How long it's been since I indulged was clearly demonstrated by the fact my corkscrew was under the spare fob pushintothedashboard key for a Passat I sold nearly two years ago.

[cros]

Don't worry when we recapture the colonies all these things will be harmonised and unfortunates such as yourself will be provided with correct English flushing toilets at no charge to yourself. I understand that disguised as harmless OAPs we already have tens of thousands of troops and sleeper agents in Spain and other sunny areas ready to act given the word.

Obviously by the time this happens you may have learned the new flush pattern, should this happen worry not as I understand the planned forced re-education camps in Rhyll will be staffed by the finest members of the medical profession that the lowest bidder can aquire.

You don't seriously expect me to buy that cock and bull story do you? Out of work city bankers more like, I won't have the incompetent harum skarums within a mile of my lavatory, fucking preposterous it is

[Noel Tidybeard]

This Visa has been 3 years coming. I've struggled to keep a roof over her head and food on the table for her. I've tried to visit her as often as I can snd now on the eve of the Visa being submitted, and she starts getting 'unhelpful'. I think I may be alone for a little while longer....

 

...and it will still be "all your fault"

[cros]

I bought a decent bottle of wine tonight for the first time in ages. How long it's been since I indulged was clearly demonstrated by the fact my corkscrew was under the spare fob pushintothedashboard key for a Passat I sold nearly two years ago.

 

Well cheers. I had a bottle of Guinness Porter. It was OK, whipped the top off with my tooth.

[Tadhg Tiogar]

.....wife has been rather unhelpful these last few days, right on the eve of the Visa application being submitted. This is really my one and only chance to make some sort of life, if she doesn't play ball it'll fuck up my future but hers as well.

That's the thing with spouse visas - there's always that element of uncertainty when it comes to renewal or settlement stage. Takes two to tango, and it's an expensive dance.

[Des]

Jack Frost you utter shitgobbler. I'm just a couple of bottles into winding down at the end of a shit week and I get a call from my mother, water dripping off the bathroom lightswitch, nice little hoohah into the 50 year old plumbing and damp fibreglass of a cunt of a loft to cut out this little grinning bastard.

Fuck brexit, where's the shitting global warming we've been promised?

[andy18s]

This Visa has been 3 years coming. I've struggled to keep a roof over her head and food on the table for her. I've tried to visit her as often as I can snd now on the eve of the Visa being submitted, and she starts getting 'unhelpful'. I think I may be alone for a little while longer....

Sorry Mo but I did read that and think

"When did you buy a Citreon".....

GL with the application