The grumpy thread

[Timewaster]

Or order a couple of tonnes of gravel to be left on the drive.

[beko1987]

Upstairs putting the kids to bed I hear a crash from the kitchen. Calling downstairs to ask if she's OK, she said she is, but my Tigger mug isn't...

 

Ive had that mug since I was 15...its nice and big... Tea doesn't taste the same without it. It's got a fucking ace patina that you only get from 14 years of tea and coffee with only a rinse inbetween... Holding it together for the children's sake but I'm welling up inside...

[Snipes]

Remove the numberplates, and replace them back on the car with blutac. (tip for next time)

 

I read recently that if you touch the car it's criminal damage and they can sue you! I wonder what the law would say about locking your gates with the car in place?

[richardmorris]

For those who struggle, like the bell end in the blue A class this lunch time on Eastern road A27 roundabout.

The left hand lane on a roundabout is not for turning right!! It's even marked on the surrounding roadsigns and big fuck off white arrows on the road surface. How fucking hard is this!?

Oh, wait.

You knew what you were doing because your an impatient cunt and consider yourself above waiting in the queue like everyone else in the right lane so used the left lane and cut across in front of my van! WANKER!

I was so close to hitting this utter dick my heart was in my mouth for a moment! Why are there never any police around?

The funny thing is this twat is local and drives a very distinctive car, it's not the first time I've seen him doing such manoeuvres either.

Someone did that to me on th way home this evening. Mini roundabout I'm turning right, car behind accelerates hard behind me in the left hand lane and drives straight onto the roundabout ( nearly hitting a car coming from the right which I was slowing for). Didn't indicate and turns right.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

That's just WTF. Should have blocked them in.

 

 

Someone I  know did just that. Lived near a school and some ignorant bint parked their Corsa on their drive whilst they went and fetched their brats. There were cars everywhere and as soon as the one outside their house moved, he parked his tatty old SWB Sprinter right outside, blocking the drive. It was a Friday and he didn't move it for three days. 

[strangeangel]

Why are there never any police around?

 

 

Because road policing is achieved exclusively by Gatso and ANPR nowadays.

 

Were I not of a generally law-abiding disposition, I am confident that I could get away with riding any untaxed, uninsured and un-MOT'd heap on my commute here in the sticks. I haven't seen a cop car in over 12 months of doing it, and I dare say I never will.

[DodgeRover]

For those who struggle, like the bell end in the blue A class this lunch time on Eastern road A27 roundabout.

 

The left hand lane on a roundabout is not for turning right!! It's even marked on the surrounding roadsigns and big fuck off white arrows on the road surface. How fucking hard is this!?

 

Oh, wait.

 

You knew what you were doing because your an impatient cunt and consider yourself above waiting in the queue like everyone else in the right lane so used the left lane and cut across in front of my van! WANKER!

 

 

I was so close to hitting this utter dick my heart was in my mouth for a moment! Why are there never any police around?

The funny thing is this twat is local and drives a very distinctive car, it's not the first time I've seen him doing such manoeuvres either.

I can better that round here they get in the right hand lane then turn left.

[strangeangel]

Came home from work to find someone parked in my drive. Not across it, but on it. Couldn't even access my garage as she was parked so close.

 

As a result myself and Mrs P had to park on the street risking the wrath of traffic wardens.

 

When the owner came back, no apology or explanation. Just got in and drove off while I remonstrated with her about it.

 

The grump - Mrs P has the arse with me for shouting! Apparently it's not becoming. Wonder if she would feel the same if our cars had been ticketed??

 

Had that been my driveway the cheeky fucker would have returned to find her car sitting on its hubs.

[Kiltox]

Had that been my driveway the cheeky fucker would have returned to find her car sitting in the middle of the road with a police aware sticker on or already being towed from said road

FTFY

[MarvinsMom]

have left the laptop-a-ma-bob at home so am trying to read and post on forum using the mobile instead

which is crap as i can hardly see the friggin' screen

joy.

[chaseracer]

have left the laptop-a-ma-bob at home so am trying to read and post on forum using the mobile instead

which is crap as i can hardly see the friggin' screen

joy.

 

Is this any better, Jo...?

 

[MarvinsMom]

Is this any better, Jo...?

 

much better thank you

[beko1987]

 

She's a liar! Thank fook

[danthecapriman]

I am really uncomfortable about members of the public submitting dash cam footage for prosecution. NWP are really keen and have promoted it.

My problem is the lack of context, dash cam warriors seeking out incidents and bottom line treating Joe Bloggs and his dashcam as a replacement for trained coppers. Also who is it analysing the footage? Is that a copper behind a desk?

That's true.

It could easily promote idiots looking for trouble and posting it. Plus you can edit footage to show only certain parts of what really happened.

If you watch YouTube dashcam vids there's a fair few of them where an accident/road rage/perceived dodgy driving could have been easily avoided if the camera car wasn't looking for trouble. It's the same with the cyclists that do the same sort of thing.

[Louise2cv]

I was waved out turning right at a junction once,the guy was crawling forward in a a slow moving queue and made a very visible gesture inviting me into the gap forming in front of his car. I nodded acknowledgement, checked the car in the queue going in the opposite direction to the waver, she nodded and waved me out. Then as soon as I made my move the guy who originally invited me out sped up blasted the horn and screeched to a halt millimetres from my front wing. He then was up my bum giving all kinds of fingers and wanker signs for the next 2 miles.

 

No idea what it was all about but I did wonder what it looked like on his dash cam.

 

Plus I know hand on heart I have mis-judged or even driven in anger sometimes and wonder if (as long as it's not something exceptionally dangerous) I might like to afford someone the same amount of slack-cutting I would appreciate for myself. Let he without sin and all that.

[danthecapriman]

I was waved out turning right at a junction once,the guy was crawling forward in a a slow moving queue and made a very visible gesture inviting me into the gap forming in front of his car. I nodded acknowledgement, checked the car in the queue going in the opposite direction to the waver, she nodded and waved me out. Then as soon as I made my move the guy who originally invited me out sped up blasted the horn and screeched to a halt millimetres from my front wing. He then was up my bum giving all kinds of fingers and wanker signs for the next 2 miles.

No idea what it was all about but I did wonder what it looked like on his dash cam.

Plus I know hand on heart I have mis-judged or even driven in anger sometimes and wonder if (as long as it's not something exceptionally dangerous) I might like to afford someone the same amount of slack-cutting I would appreciate for myself. Let he without sin and all that.

What an odd thing to do, to let you out like that! Weird.

 

Absolutely agree though. Nobody's perfect, though I am pretty close!

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Well said Louise. Sending yer dashcam footage to the coppers is all very well till you yourself make a genuine mistake, as all humans do from time to time. Talk about flippin busybodys. How about just concentrating on safely getting where you're going, and leaving other folks driving skills (or lack thereof) to them to worry about.

[clayts450]

Two lanes off a roundabout quickly merge into one lane after a tight left exit.

 

 

I always sit in the left hand lane  and will adjust accordingly to let drivers in the right lane go ahead, because I'm nice like that and also because I'm aware my car isn't fast out the blocks.

 

 

I was first at the lights this evening (where the Reliant is) and pulled off gently, letting the two cars in the right lane go ahead and safely went about my drive, third in line for the tight left turn, van right behind me.

 

Numpty behind me from the right hand lane decides he wants to overtake me before the merge - virtually level with my rear offside door before he realises the lane runs out. Van behind me can't let him in either so numpty has to screech to a stop, stuck whilst the convoy behind the van passes him by. Chuckling the rest of the way home

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Hey look at that Reliant!

[clayts450]

Hey look at that Reliant!

 

I was dead chuffed that turned up on Google Maps - had to check there weren't any other chod - sadly not.

[adw1977]

I was dead chuffed that turned up on Google Maps - had to check there weren't any other chod - sadly not.

The first sighting of Emma the base Sierra on Flickr was somebody posting a screenshot from Google Street View that happened to show it! Then IIRC Sim went and found it and the rest is history.

[Guest Hooli]

Had that been my driveway the cheeky fucker would have returned to find her car sitting in the middle of the road with a police aware sticker on or already being towed from said road

 

FTFY

 

I never ever towed a car that was dumped across a neighbours drive into the middle of a busy junction at about 6am & left it there. No sir that wasn't me, but when the car reappeared in the road a few weeks later it never parked like a twat again...

[robinmasters]

I can just about put up with the constant Slade & Wizard at this time of year.

 

Why does EVERY American film even remotely connected to Christmas have to have this piece of music on the soundtrack?

 

[barmatt]

Chopping kindling earlier and had a little slip with the machete I use for that job,

 

Currently sat in a&e waiting to be seen after X-ray's, got no movement in my index finger, surgery is looking like a possibility. Time moves bloody slowly in these places.

 

After driving autos for years I bought a bloody manual a couple of weeks back, that could be tricky and a little painful if at all possible.

[BorniteIdentity]

Holy Moly.  

 

I reckon I'll just keep buying it already cut up tbh.

 

Speedy recovery, dude.

[barmatt]

Cheers mate, now in a different hospital waiting to be seen by a plastic surgeon, think I made a right bugger of it.

[wuvvum]

'Twas a bad idea to look at this thread whilst eating my breakfast...

 

Bugger that looks nasty.  Hope you haven't done any serious damage.

[Lacquer Peel]

Why does my car pick now for the glow plugs to give up?! I hate old cars.

 

Edit- not really. Not sure it is the plugs though, I think a relay has gone iffy, or the immobiliser is beginning to play up.

It could be the glow plugs, it has been cold recently and indirect injection diesels need healthy glow plugs to start well.

Does it start okay when the engine's hot?

[STUNO]

Thanks for sharing barmatt. Just be happy you weren't using a chainsaw.   

[Exiled_Tat_Gatherer]

Barmatt - hope it hasn't gone through the tendon(s) under there (not a nice recovery I can tell you) - the surgeons can stick almost anything together now though so best of luck.......

You'll have a great story though and peoples reactions to it will never cease to amuse you - watch them cringe..........