The grumpy thread

[Richard]

You shouldn't need a physical licence to hire a car now, you just need to give the hire company a code to access your record online. https://www.gov.uk/view-driving-licence

[Richard]

Is Farage going to be on it?

[Jazoli]

trolls deliberately trying to wind people up, and missing out on a tidy MGF by £5 on eBay earlier has made me grumpy today

[dollywobbler]

New job on at work.

 

image.jpeg

 

Kill me now.

 

Dare you to change OUR to ARE.

[Inspector Morose]

Is Farage going to be on it?

He was on it today.

[Sheefag]

Biker indignation and impatience. What is it about two wheels and leather that turns so many of them into angry, intolerant, selfish twats?

[anonymous user]

He was on it today.

No low bridges on the route?

 

Did you get to see him when he wasn't doing his jingoistic, populist act? I do wonder if he's just playing the part (like many politicians) and is quite normal in real life.

[Jazoli]

Biker indignation and impatience. What is it about two wheels and leather that turns so many of them into intolerant, selfish twats?

 

 

edited again as I can't help being annoyed by children, its because my two were little shits

[Sheefag]

What are you angry at me for?

[Cavcraft]

The exciting FPB7 would get some purple spray from Halfords and remove the 'o' the 'r and the 'y' from that tag line and put an arrow to Farage's head. Any left over spray could be used to draw a throbbing bell end on top of it too.

[twosmoke300]

I'm a biker and have ridden / raced both road bikes and dirt bikes and I totally agree that many bikers are assholes .

The worst examples I've seen are in Wales where the speeds and quality of riding were appalling .

Just like any hobby there are bound to be good ones and bad ones .

[Timewaster]

A bit hard on sheefag there I thought.

 

 

I find most bikers reasonably polite road users but there is a minority of Knobs in any group.

generally it's things like being pulled out on constantly by drivers more interested in reading their texts than seeing if there is anyone coming or those that deliberately sit on the white line so they can't get by and the constant nagging of your own mortality and your life being in the hands of these idiots that gives them an attitude.

 

Like I said. Knobs in all walks of life.

[Inspector Morose]

I have a feeling that it'll be "modified" at some point without any effort on my part.

This was also the bus I was paint bombed when I was at the head of the student protests on Millbank (being used as a speakers platform).

 

Job came in on Monday night. It was still being wrapped and prepped on Thursday night/Friday morning.

 

As for Farage? I couldn't possibly comment (for now).

[3VOM]

I have a feeling that it'll be "modified" at some point without any effort on my part.

This was also the bus I was paint bombed when I was at the head of the student protests on Millbank (being used as a speakers platform).

 

Job came in on Monday night. It was still being wrapped and prepped on Thursday night/Friday morning.

 

As for Farage? I couldn't possibly comment (for now).

You have got to get a "middle eastern" outfit, a full beard and pretend not to speak English. Or be like the Bulgarian (was it? can't find a clip at present) taxi driver in Drop the Dead Donkey.

[DeeJay]

Billy will be along shortly with a cup of tea 

And to sell you a car 

[beko1987]

I'm a biker and have ridden / raced both road bikes and dirt bikes and I totally agree that many bikers are assholes .

The worst examples I've seen are in Wales where the speeds and quality of riding were appalling .

Just like any hobby there are bound to be good ones and bad ones .

I was still in Wales leaving sf15 whwn fucking bikers overtook me slowly on a sweeping bend and left me nowhere to go when I happened upon a big rock at the side of the road at 55, wasnt going to swerve out as one biker was level with me, and didn't see it in time to miss it. I'd pulled in a bit to let them past too, but one took his time, the bastard

 

6 hours wait whilst pregnant swmbo bought wheels to me (thame to just outside Hereford, after hastily getting rid of Eva and finding someone to load the wheels for her) (took out 2 tyres), £50 on a Travelodge, £30 on pez for the meriva and home about 36 hours after I'd planned to be, then 2 new tyres...

 

Im not still bitter, promise!

[richbraith]

Wasn't the sheep going to be killed and eaten anyway?

 

No.  Twas a ewe with two lambs, grazing happily in a field and being a mum.  Maybe one day, but aren't we all mortals?

[Negative Creep]

A bit hard on sheefag there I thought.

 

 

I find most bikers reasonably polite road users but there is a minority of Knobs in any group.

generally it's things like being pulled out on constantly by drivers more interested in reading their texts than seeing if there is anyone coming or those that deliberately sit on the white line so they can't get by and the constant nagging of your own mortality and your life being in the hands of these idiots that gives them an attitude.

 

Like I said. Knobs in all walks of life.

 

 

There is definitely a minority who feel they can pass traffic in any manner or speed they see fit, and it's always the car driver's fault for not seeing them. I've had times where I'd looked in the mirror and seen it was clear, but because one is belting along between traffic they're almost on top of you as you start to change lanes.

[strangeangel]

Biker indignation and impatience. What is it about two wheels and leather that turns so many of them into angry, intolerant, selfish twats?

 

0-Cunt in 17 posts. A record, surely.

 

What happened to you making your annual post and fucking off till 2017?

[trigger]

I have to agree about bikers, NOT all but many don't half ride like prats when the sun comes out, i nearly hit one the other day when he was over taking a car on a bend and another a few days back on the A12 when he was undertaking all the traffic at well over 80mph and i nearly side swipped him.

[Inspector Morose]

Also brake testing a 12 tonne bus is not the best idea to have. Not just once either. Today.

[burraston2006]

This could also be in the grin section: Was looking for a house yesterday so 'phoned up the missus who knew where it was. I already found the street but couldn't locate the exact house. Expecting something like 'just past the post box' or 'it has a green front door' what I got was "There was a blue car parked in the street outside it last Monday"! How fucking useful is that!

[Parky]

Daughter spills tea over her bed, puts bedding washing machine.

 

"Dad, have you seen my phone?"

 

"No, when did you last have it?"

 

"I was listening to music in bed last night"

 

We have the cleanest iPhone 5s in Essex with a delightful and luxurious flowery scent. Shame the fucking thing won't work anymore.....fucksticks.

 

Needless to say I am NOT going to the Lakeside Apple Store on a Saturday, that's one for Mrs P. I wonder whose card will be used to pay for the replacement?

[purplebargeken]

London Colney Bypass from the Bell Roundabout this morning at 07.30am. It is a fairly speedy bit of road.

 

I am in the left hand lane of this dual carriageway, what the fuck!?! Older aged cyclist happily pedalling away in the outer lane towards oncoming traffic. Luckily it is empty bar my little white i10. I slows right down, window lowers and I yell at the very top of my voice........ You stupid fucking twat, what the fuck do you think you are doing on this side of the carriageway? He slowly pedals on - quite oblivious.

 

At the roundabout at the end of the bypass I ask a van driver if he saw the cyclist. He didn't. I can only hope the stupid twat realised how close he was to death and got off the fucking road. Fuckwit. Cunt.

[twosmoke300]

Daughter spills tea over her bed, puts bedding washing machine.

 

"Dad, have you seen my phone?"

 

"No, when did you last have it?"

 

"I was listening to music in bed last night"

 

We have the cleanest iPhone 5s in Essex with a delightful and luxurious flowery scent. Shame the fucking thing won't work anymore.....fucksticks.

 

Needless to say I am NOT going to the Lakeside Apple Store on a Saturday, that's one for Mrs P. I wonder whose card will be used to pay for the replacement?

10 pound cheapy from Tesco for her . Learn consequences !

[LC Torana]

New job on at work.

 

image.jpeg

 

Kill me now.

 

Why is Mr_Bo11ox's head painted on the side of a bus?

[Tamworthbay]

Quote me happy - but then piss me off the rest of the year. They are utterly utterly shite, they were cheap and I now know why. Part of the Aviva group, avoid like the plague folks.

[Pillock]

We have the cleanest iPhone 5s in Essex with a delightful and luxurious flowery scent. Shame the fucking thing won't work anymore.....fucksticks.

 

Needless to say I am NOT going to the Lakeside Apple Store on a Saturday, that's one for Mrs P. I wonder whose card will be used to pay for the replacement?

 

Go into the Apple store, and tell this story exactly as is.

They have the final say, and I've heard of them being so amused by a tale of woe that they just swap phones. Not guaranteed, but they're surprisingly human.

 

They replaced my mate's iPhone 5S for free when he got a football straight to the goolies/pocket area and it smashed the screen, I think because the bloke serving him could sense the pain....

[Pillock]

Only click this button if you want to hear a generic driving standards rant.

 

 

 

Came back from Gatwick last night, set out about 6.15pm so missed the brunt of the traffic and the M25 was flowing quite freely.

However this appeared to mean that you can be a high-speed cunt rather than a slow-moving cunt which seems way more dangerous. Here's the highlights:

 

M25, Heathrow, one of those new Jags with the swoopy rear ends. I'm in lane 3, overtaking, he's in 4. Cuts across the front of me with inches to spare, then in front of the lorry in lane 2 with about the same gap, but because that's a lorry and not something transparent he can't see that some other twat in a Focus is undertaking the lorry and there's very nearly a coming together in lane 1. Jag driver just keeps it planted, possibly didn't even really know what just nearly happened. 

 

M1, north of Toddington where there's the hard shoulder running lane that merges in. Truck coming onto the motorway, I've just moved out from Lane 1 to lane 2 to let him in. Cunt in an X5 in my rear view mirror goes from lane 3 where he's been sitting for a mile, inside me for fuck all reason (I assume he'd not seen the truck and he was warning me to keep out of his three lanes), blasts past on the inside just as the truck is merging in. Does he move? Does he fuck. Truck has to avoid him, he carries on in lane 1 which has signs saying that you've got to move over as there's no hard shoulder running. I really hope the camera that catches people ignoring that was live.

 

People that can't keep a steady speed. Not all cars have cruise control, but if you can't stick to +/- 5mph you're a cunt. I lobbed it on cruise somewhere near the M3 and barely came off until I got to M1 J22, and the amount of people that I would approach quite quickly, pull out to overtake, and not make it past their B pillar without them gaining speed and slowly pulling away was insane. Then it's me that looks like the tosser. Cunts.

 

I've also sussed that there's two types of middle lane twats. Type 1 is the ones that think because they're not driving something with 12 wheels and a chrome silhouette of a lass with pointy boobs on the front, that's their normal lane. They will stick there because they don't want to mix with trucks, no matter if there's trucks or not. They join the motorway, pull straight into lane 2 and sit there at 65mph. I call these people cunts.

Type B is the ones that have spent the last 16 miles on a sales call in the outside lane, and have just noticed it's nearly their junction. However there's a sprinkling of traffic in lane 1 which they don't want to be behind, so they hedge their bets by going into lane 2 a mile before they need to pull off. They then sit there, not wanting to pull over, scanning lane 1 for a gap whilst matching speed. These people are also cunts. Every junction up the M1, lane 2 turned into a stop-start nightmare with people diving in but refusing to pass straight through it.

 

 

[greengartside]

Seriously fed up with the broadband speed at our new house - it is shit slow. Apparently we've been told that we've only got Sky and BT to choose from that cover the area. We went with Sky and it's absolutely crap...

 

 

I really don't know who else would provide for the area, the local village centre has good wifi so it's not like it's unobtainable?

 

Usual shit of no money, SWMBO getting on at me, job is shit etc etc.