The grumpy thread

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Just pop round with son semtex and blow it up on her driveway

[Negative Creep]

This is why I'd never sell a car to family or friends

[gm]

stick it up on gumtree at 99p with her phone number ?

[Bren]

Wife is watching casualty - she recorded last night's episode.

 

Without doubt the shitest, most unrealistic hospital drama ever - everybody having a breakdown, RTC's with no other vehicles on the road, I could go on....

[Cavcraft]

My wife rang me last night to say she was in casualty. I watched the whole 50 minutes and didn't see her once, now I'm sat alone at home waiting for my tea and there's no sign of her. 

[Lord Sterling]

Wife is watching casualty - she recorded last night's episode.

Without doubt the shitest, most unrealistic hospital drama ever - everybody having a breakdown, RTC's with no other vehicles on the road, I could go on....

One of the things that makes me laugh about much of todays television is all about "emotion". Everyone seems to have to have a breakdown or be on the edge of insanity, queue lots of close of face shots of people staring into space with an "emotional" look on thier face. Plus of course the emotional shouting/complicated lives which basically sees much of society aping what they see and even creating problems in order to be seen to be having the same kind of problems.

 

Don't get me started on those who breakdown in tears on television when talking about thier lives.

[HH-R]

I quite like Casualty and have watched it for years but it is getting boring of late. The storyline about the manager being a cow has worn thin now, ditto the old bloke who is on death's door. Where the RTC was last night is the same bit of road they use all the time so it doesn't take a genius to work out what's going to happen next...

[EssDeeWon]

In these times of Saturday evening TV designed purely for the 'Three M's' (Mongs, Mums and Mouthbreathers) I cant believe Casualty has lasted so long.

 

Its been on BBC1 Saturday night since before I can remember !!

 

My TV does not get switched on Saturdays until about 10.30 and thats only for MOTD.

[Pillock]

The only good thing about Casualty was Claire Goose in a nurse's outfit.

[MrDuke]

I haven't watched it since the mid-90s. Do the nurses still give relationship advice to all the patients, like in real life?

[HillmanImp]

I can handle Casualty as it has a different story each week. I can ignore all the 'relationship' soap opera stuff on the most part as most of it is occuring round a main theme for the week. I wouldn't watch it normally but Mrs Imp likes it and its passable for me to watch whilst looking at pictures of cars on my phone.  

 

I refuse to watch Holby Shitty though. What a load of wank. It seems more focused on whos fucking who than an actual storyline. 

[dave21478]

Bring back Londons Burning, I say.

 

Opening scene....Bloke having a minor argument with his wife at breakfast about affording a new pushchair for their baby.

Scene cuts to some kids bunking off school and stealing an Xr3

Scene cuts to bloke arriving at work at a road construction site where he is working behind a suspiciously ramp-shaped pile of sand.

Scene cuts to Xr3 weaving through traffic towards roadworks...

 

 

...yep, I know where this episode is going.

[Pillock]

But every episode of Casualty had a cement mixer driver, who had had an argument with the wife and so was running late, struggling with an AA Road Atlas and so doesn't see the stationary traffic ahead....

[RayMK]

FB: Friends and family are on it, I'm not.  It's a free country (apparently), and I manage quite well with texts when my mobile is switched on - the switched off business is not because I'm especially anti-social, but because by mobile is 14 years old and the lead acid* battery gets breathless after about 6 hours use. When an enterprising manufacturer brings out a mobile with a dial for old gits, I'll possibly buy it. I don't get smearscreen technology or cocktail stick keyboards. Skype seems inoffensive and I use that more than the landline or mobile.

 

I know that Top Gear had its haters, but I enjoyed it and it was the only programme that I made any effort to watch. Now it's gone,  I hardly ever switch the box on.  The net provides everything  I need - Jay Leno's Garage keeps me more than satisfied for car stuff, and this forum is a good provider of humour.

 

The FB, TV, Tablet, i-phone compulsion thing seems very real to a lot of people.  While I find it easy to avoid things I don't like, what other people do is up to them, even if I can't understand the attraction.  Football (premadonnas tripping over imaginary obstacles and spitting), soaps (Jeremy Kyle types shouting at each other), F1 (yawn), life (don't talk to me about life...)   you get the picture    .

 

*for dramatic effect. It's probably Ni-cad or similar.

[HH-R]

Doro are your friend there, RayMK. I'm not old but I've struggled with phone keypads since about 2002 when they started to get rid of having gaps between the keys.

[Cavcraft]

Just been for a highly enjoyable bike ride in a bit of Cheshire I've not explored properly before. Found a sign for a footpath, so thought I'd follow that and ride if ok.

I didn't bank on some biscuit arsed toffee nosed gobshite going on and on about the footpath not being on his land and there's no cycling blah blah blah.

Just up the road a nice old lady stopped me and said there IS a footpath there and anyone is free to walk or cycle it. I shall go back to Captain Bumface's farm another time and take great delight in riding through the bit I'm allowed to.

[hairnet]

 some biscuit arsed toffee nosed gobshite going on and on about the footpath NOT being on his land and there's no cycling blah blah blah.

 

then its fuk all to do with him what you do unless youre stamping on his face

[Pillock]

I found a footpath near here that goes through someone's land. Originally it looked like their garden went up to the footpath, and they also owned the land the other side too but hadn't mown/tended it - however they now have blocked off the footpath entrance and claim the whole lot as their garden.

 

Which was a shame, it took me ages to bash through their rosebushes on one side and flowerbed to the other. They weren't in, hopefully they will be next time as I look forward to the conversation.

[Noel Tidybeard]

My wife rang me last night to say she was in casualty. I watched the whole 50 minutes and didn't see her once, now I'm sat alone at home waiting for my tea and there's no sign of her. 

are you sure she didnt mix casuality with hobley?

[Cavcraft]

If she was in Tina Hobley then I'd have been home like a shot.

[jakebullet]

Hours of entertainment yesterday. A bit back had a reunion night out with the uni lads. One of them refused to come out as he's now found THE LORD, and going out for a pint is WRONG!

 

So, anyway, we decided to humour his beliefs. No problem, we'll get another date and you can show us what a wild Muslim night out is like. So yesterday him plus me plus 1 other daft enough to go for it went to Leeds.

 

It starts badly. Lets get something to eat. Nandos. I am not eating said chicken as it is not halal and you're all going to hellz. Er, ok. suit yourself.

 

We wonder about a bit, talk, have coffee as that's not banned. He then says he's feeling faint, so we go into a cafe bar and get him an orange juice just in case it's low blood sugar from not eating. He then says phone me an ambulance and goes splat unresponsive.

 

nee naw nee naw nee naw.... wake up Zulfy! Basic tests are done and he's not dying. He then comes round a bit and starts shaking massively, so we all get a nice ride to Jimmys where we get dumped in a corner for 3 hours. He's fine. And 93rd on the list of people to be seen so we give up waiting and all go home.

 

TLDR:

A wild muslim night out is having a panic attack and spending hours in casualty. Not recommended.

[vulgalour]

Washed and polished the car since it's been such a lovely day, finish my other chores and have enough time to take Blakedog to the park he likes but can't really manage to walk there and back to as well as have a run around.  Oh, a bird has pooed on my car, typical it did it now and not the two weeks or so past when the car has been unwashed.

 

Then Blakedog pooed in the car on the way to the park.

 

¬.¬

[purplebargeken]

^^ What a load of crap.

[Bren]

One of the things that makes me laugh about much of todays television is all about "emotion". Everyone seems to have to have a breakdown or be on the edge of insanity, queue lots of close of face shots of people staring into space with an "emotional" look on thier face. Plus of course the emotional shouting/complicated lives which basically sees much of society aping what they see and even creating problems in order to be seen to be having the same kind of problems.

Don't get me started on those who breakdown in tears on television when talking about thier lives.

 

Usually a ploy to win X factor.

[AlabamaShrimp]

Took ages to get a splinter, which turned out to be a bit of dry grass, out of my hand with a crap knife. Hurts like a bastard now, which is stupid really...

[Stanky]

Fucking hell,

 

Having used AS for a couple of years now as pretty much my only regular forum I'd forgotten what a bunch of cunts live on other forums. I've just joined another (non-car) one which I won't name and been totally flamed practically instantly.

 

Fuck them, and fuck their tiny inbred world.

 

(also, I can use words like Cunt and Fuck here and no-one cares)

[ruffgeezer]

I bought a cheap plastic bootliner off if an eBay local search. I think it was a meriva on but whatever, it only cost a fiver.

 

When our dog chucked up on it, you pull the tray out and wash it down ready to go again.

[jakebullet]

FFS! It's ebay wanker night again!

 

Yonks back had a tosser try to claim I'd sent him an empty envelope so he'll have the money back. Hermes told him to fuck off. Ebay ditto. Paypal too. He's now giving me 14 days notice, or he's going to court and it'll cost me £9 plus his MASSIVE costs. Knock yourself out....

 

Er, courts is on balance of probabilities right?

 

Then there's genius #2. This pool ball gear knob you've sold me, (pool ball gear knob fits ford fiesta mk 1/2) does not fit my transit connect. What am I going to do about it?

 

Hmmmm, let me think why it doesn't fit....... Could be something to do with it not being a fiesta?

[Stanky]

Then there's genius #2. This pool ball gear knob you've sold me, (pool ball gear knob fits ford fiesta mk 1/2) does not fit my transit connect. What am I going to do about it?

 

Hmmmm, let me think why it doesn't fit....... Could be something to do with it not being a fiesta?

 

Right, in that case I'll take you to court because the new knob you sold me DID fit my Almera, despite it saying it would only fit Micras. I bought it as the first part of my planned 'build a Micra knob first' and this was totally ruined when I discovered it would also fit my Almera so my income* has been affected, as well as my ability* to earn* and it caused the breakdown* of my marriage* and also, ummm, emotional damage? I'm taking you to court for ALL these things - equalling a sum total of £0.39, but I will settle out of court for the sum of one (1) broken xbox. 2nitem8.

 

I'm not sure who it was on here who first posited the idea, but in their words, a 'Robust, FOAD based defence' should be implemented tout suite.

[MarvinsMom]

i used to like to watch casualty, and we do still watch from time to time.

 

i used to like to play spot the victim, or spot the corpse.

 

now though it has got really soapy and boring.

 

we need more gruesome accidents and less bloody gobshite relationship bollocks.....

 

 

in other news this weekend we managed to get the mini mot'd with only one advisory, that the nsr brake is abit lazy. had it to bits, filthy inside and the back part of the wheel cylinder is slow, probably down to been sat for the last 6 months.

 

but now the friggin' metro has decided that it doesn't want to play anymore. the front brakes have started to bind. had it too bits, and the 4 pot calipers have only got the outer pistons working. managed to get some movement out of the stuck ones, only for it to bring one of the seals with it. bollocks to it, io cannot be bothered with trying to get some life out ofd the existing calipers, so i've ordered some replacements,.

 

now to get the replacements delivered and then get some other poor sod to fit and bleed the brakes. last time was a complete nightmare.