The grumpy thread

[xtriple]

At about 5:00 pm every day my broadband slows from 10 - 11 mbps tp 0.3 mbps and I am fookin sick of it. If I do anything through BT re checking then it magically goes back up!

 

Also, three weeks since I last used my car. What a load of crap.

[dugong]

Eurgh, pieces of my face keep falling off. 

[chaseracer]

Were we not rebranded to "Autoexcretia" at a car show we gatecrashed last year? Possibly even two years ago when we declared war on the announcer and the concours competition after DW was branded "a bit eccentric".

 

Clearly, we must do this again.

[Pillock]

I once put an autocorrect filter on one of the college PCs that corrected Their to There and You're to Your.

 

Some poor sod lost a fucktonne of marks on his coursework.

[Ghosty]

My PS3's chat system had a swear filter. 

'Connection' came up as *****ction, because apparently conne is the French word for 'bitch'...

[Sloth in a bowl]

I used to be a moderator of motorbike website

 

I changed A E I O U 'IT' 'AND' 'THE' to BADGER

 

The site went really weird as it went twice as wide and fuck all mad any sense

 

[Angrydicky]

Went out with some mates last night. One of the guys refused my offer of a lift home, as he lives only 10 minutes away and wanted to get some chips on the way back. I heard this morning he was mugged last night and lost his new phone and his wallet. He's got a fat lip and doesn't remember very much - he had a lot of beers and couldn't remember if it happened in the pub or later that evening. He's a big guy but lives in a truly shit area (Malvern/Coleman St) and I suspect he got jumped on the estate he lives on. Feel really bad for him, it's not the first time it's happened either.

[burraston2006]

This could also be in the grin section. Finally got the merc back from the ministry bastards with a twelve month ticket-Hooray especially when presented me with a £600 bill=Bastards!

[Noel Tidybeard]

Where here we can say words like "titties" and "fucknugget". And Scunt*****e.

 

If they ever put a swear filter on here, I swear I'll curseword someone's curseword so badly they won't be able to curseword for weeks.

FILTER ACTIVATED

[cort16]

My Dad came up to visit yesterday and I was going to take him for spin in the CL as he's not seen it. I went to open it and it wouldn't unlock because the battery is flat. Okay I suppose I've not used it for a couple of weeks. Take the battery out, charged it over night, stuck it back in this morning and fucking thing is miss firing, popping and farting, the satnav won't turn on and it's got ABS and traction control faults on the dash. It was perfect before. WHAT THE FUCK?

 

The battery is charging okay but when I put my battery tester on the battery it shows 12v half charged. I know these things are super sensitive to voltage I wonder if somethings going on with the battery.

[messerschmitt owner]

abs fault is a sure sign of voltage too low.

 

It does come on upon a battery refit and then go away again if battery is just so.

[EssDeeWon]

Went out with some mates last night. One of the guys refused my offer of a lift home, as he lives only 10 minutes away and wanted to get some chips on the way back. I heard this morning he was mugged last night and lost his new phone and his wallet. He's got a fat lip and doesn't remember very much - he had a lot of beers and couldn't remember if it happened in the pub or later that evening. He's a big guy but lives in a truly shit area (Malvern/Coleman St) and I suspect he got jumped on the estate he lives on. Feel really bad for him, it's not the first time it's happened either.

 

I take it you mean Coleman Street in Southend? I wouldn't want to walk through there in daylight, those flats down there like Quontok and Malvern are rough!

 

I did cycle through there last year when tat spotting but believe me I didn't hang around.

[cort16]

I've taken it for an Italian tune up and the abs and traction control lights have gone off. Like a fanny the sat nav was just turned off I was just pressing the wrong one of the 700 buttons on the dash .

The engine is running better, idles perfectly and goes like fuck but bogging down still when pulling away.

 

I decided to turn off the traction control and floor it away from a quiet junction to err, you know clear it out and I'll not be doing it again I almost end up the wrong way around. It must have an LSD or some kind if diff locker as both rear wheels spans hen I floored it. When I did this in the Xjr I just got one wheel frantically spinning.

[HH-R]

Moderns are very sensitive to low battery voltage. My own car wouldn't start on Friday morning (nothing new there), finally started but none of the dash would work. It came on for a few seconds when the voltage recovered but lost the time and trip mileage.

[Angrydicky]

I take it you mean Coleman Street in Southend? I wouldn't want to walk through there in daylight, those flats down there like Quontok and Malvern are rough!

 

I did cycle through there last year when tat spotting but believe me I didn't hang around.

Yeah that's it, horrible area and very little tat there as well!

[hairnet]

Good news - less than hour from Holyhead

 

Bad news - have to get off ferry and ride to Bangor to sleep

 

After riding in freezing fog all day today not happy

[overrun]

FILTER ACTIVATED

Father Jack image goes here

[rml2345]

The favourite office chair I mended a while back has decided to unmend itself. It means I finally have to accept I'm a fat bastard and order a heavy duty wheelamibob instead of bodging a second hand one on.

[chaseracer]

Intrigued* that shit flats in a part of the country with all the topographical variety of a witch's dug should be named after ranges of hills.

 

IRONY.

[Pillock]

They've twatted around with the Tapatalk app again, meaning moving more things to places for no reason. Took me a month to find the open forums last time. This time it appears to have a new font which is shit.

[Bren]

Doctors appointment 1745. Told there would be a 40 minute wait.

 

Not been seen by 1835 - had enough and did one.

 

I'll sort things out myself.

[Sigmund Fraud]

£100 for a brake master cylinder ?!?!? FFS, I've bought whole cars for less !!!

 

British cl**ssic car scene tax kicked in YO !

[cort16]

The merc is still bogging down between 1-2000 rpm. After that it flys and it ticks over fine .

No Eml either so can't get any codes.

I think it's going to put pay to my swap with the sl as who's going to want one if these running like shite.

[MrDuke]

Neighbour knocked on the door early this morning to tell us one of our cats was in the road. Seems to have happened some time during the night, although the ignorant cunt of a driver didn't bother stopping to move her body onto the verge.

 

She was an absolutely perfect cat, full of personality, awesome pest-controller, sweet-natured and loving but with a healthy dose of attitude. Thoroughly irreplaceable.

 

RIP sweetheart

 

 

[Craig the Princess]

Sorry to hear that MrDuke, horrible thing to happen.

[Semi-C]

I'm so sorry for your loss Mr Duke, wish I had more words for you.

[rml2345]

My condolences MrDuke,that's a dreadful thing to happen.

[oman5]

I hate it when that happens, rip kitty

[steve_earwig]

Sorry for your loss Mr Duke, That's a great pic btw.

 

I've lost 3 cats that way (and gained one partially squished moggy I managed to get repaired)

[Bren]

Gutted for you Mr Duke.

 

The world is full of people who are quite frankly, utter shite.