The grumpy thread

[cms206]

Not quite in the same league, but the T2 once ran out of fuel having covered 196 miles on a full 55 litre tank.

13.6 - from 1594cc & 60 bhp - where does the fucking energy go? Noise?

 

 

17.1mpg was my record on the Council Estate, which is frankly stunning as the Sigmund Cox 740 is mechanically identical and consistently returned high 20s before I managed to convince myself that it wasn't the head gasket that was fucked, when it actually was.

[saucedoctor]

35 fucking quid for a flasher unit for the Rover. Fuck that, I can get a whole Streetwise for 100 bills, and pick over its bones for spares for years to come.

[Asimo]

The LED orange indicator lamps (21W equivalent) have arrived from Amazon via China  and they are completely useless, outglowed by the oil pressure warning light on a 6v Beetle.

 

I have smashed them to crumbs with a rubber mallet.

[gordonbennet]

Don't mention LED bulbs here, the reverse lights on W124's are cack, two 21W bulbs but the lenses don't do anything, so i bought some fancy LED's to try, 'kin usless, they put the bulb out warning light on when reverse was selected and that provided moar light than them poxy leds, they're still in the garage somewhere with the other tons of crap i hoard.

 

Not a problem now, it was backing down our T piece road to our driveway that was dark and dingy till you triggered our security light, but the council have now put in a nice new LED lampost outside next door and things are much improved all round.

[Bren]

Just had to nip into town centre for a few things.

 

No ambulance chasers or PPI claims people, they have been replaced with some firm who wanted to know if you paid monthly for your bank account, and if you have had benefits paid into it, and how you could claim ££££ in compensation.

 

Are there ANY skilled people left in the country or have they all emigrated/retired/died?

[hairnet]

 

came back from dublin last night - stopped on anglesey cos it was too cold and unlit to be thrapping across wales in the unlit and cold

 

i can haz frostbite still even setting off this morning when it was sunny

[Station]

I thought that was going to be "a pointy part of the car removes your eye" or something.

 

 

It's identical to when someone knocks off a policeman's helmet, I feel as though my car is just taking the piss.

[chaseracer]

Are there ANY skilled people left in the country...

 

Yes...

 

...or have they all emigrated/retired/died?

...no; they're just getting on with the job, as ever.

[dave21478]

Ran out of fuel in the modern today - what a fucking hassle!

 

Todays top tip - when your C2 dash computer says the fuel level is too low, it aint joking.

 

So....side of the road a few miles from town. Do I have a jerry can in the boot? No. No, I dont. So I started plodding towards town with my thumb out. Did anyone stop? No. No, they didnt.

 

There is a tiny supermarket on the edge of this town with a pez station. Do they sell jerry cans? No. No, they dont. They do sell 5 litre bottles of screenwash, so I bought one and tipped it down the drain then filled it with pez and went back in to pay, which attracted a few odd looks on the forecourt and I started plodding back with my thumb out again. Did anyone give me a lift? No. No, they didnt.

 

Fortunately its a dry, sunny day but it was colder than a witches tit. Did I have my new Xmas pressy jacket with me? No. No, I didnt. I had a fleece jacket which was warm-ish until any slight gust of wind which would cut right through it.

 

Back at the car, I was now faced with the challenge of getting 5 litres of petrol out of the screen wash bottle and into the tank via the recessed filler hole mounted in a vertical panel. I just went for it in a bold tipping move, but the bottle had no neck on it and the recessed filler meant I got wet shoes. Fuck. Did I have a funnel with me? No. No, I didnt.

 

Rummaging along the verges and ditches round about where I had stopped turned up an old 2 litre coke bottle. Ok, I can make a funnel. Did I have my cheapo multi-tool in the glove box? Yes. Yes I fucking did! Hallelujah! I cut an oval hole in the side of the bottle, stuffed the neck into the filler and managed to tip the rest of the petrol in. Ignition on, let the fuel rail prime and off we go, back to the pez station to fill it right up. Putting the heater on full to thaw me out a bit wafted the petrol stench from my shoes all through the cars interior. Smart.

 

Lesson learned - dont run the C2 too low.

[AlabamaShrimp]

Went to morrisons. Not all bad as I got some cheap stuff but came back to find some cock had parked a newish VW over the line on my drivers side. (forgot to take a pic)

 

OK so I had enough room to get in call them a cock and forget about it. Then I noticed the twat had moved my wing mirror. They're hard to move so they must have proper whacked it to get past. So I sulked moved their glass (sod it that it felt powered) then I accidentally might have caught their door with mine, a few times..... Yeah I know I'm no better

[TimothyClaypole]

The welder I bought just before Christmas last year (to replace my original which had just been stolen) has packed up. A week out of the 12 month warranty, and the worst time of year to try and get things sorted quickly! To rub salt into the wound, the insurance had a limit to the amount of cover for outbuildings, and didn't cover everything which was pinched.

 

Give them a try on the sale of goods act.  

 

Customers do it at work everyday (and get away with it).

 

The item you bought should be fit for purpose and last a certain amount of time not just the statutory 12 months. 

[TimothyClaypole]

Rang Scottish Power again today.

 

I honestly don't think they know what they are doing...

 

I've 3 accounts now, 2 with the same account number showing in credit.

 

The other account that I was playing catch up on due to them just not taking the direct debts which they never gave any reason for is now in credit showing 6 separate payments on the 24/25th.

 

Must have been Father Christmas.

 

I've given then current meter readings so await whatever they come up with next.

 

[steve_earwig]

It's identical to when someone knocks off a policeman's helmet, I feel as though my car is just taking the piss.

When Inanimate Objects Attack!

 

I do get it, it's like the buggers do it on purpose...

[steve_earwig]

Are there ANY skilled people left in the country or have they all emigrated/retired/died?

I've managed to do the first, kind of done the second and I'm hoping to do the third around the time the money runs out...

[jakebullet]

I'm taking Ma to a funeral tomorrow. I have that 'Valerie' song stuck in my head, except my version goes "why don't you go and drop dead Margaret Ree?" for reasons that are too long and boring to explain.

 

Ma has just announced we're giving a lift. To Margaret Ree. What could possibly go wrong?

[ruffgeezer]

Arse biscuits! I've wasted a tenner getting the father's will.

 

 

Not really, I think a tenner is a fairly cheap price for absolute closure.

 

I wonder how many AS'ers would nip at the chance of answering any of their lives' unanswered questions for just a tenner?

[tooSavvy]

Arsebiskitts......

 

Got in the house and hears an alarm siren - sounds like mine, but muted.

 

Opens front door to street.... yep me!! But why...??

 

Walks round car and see rear n/s door isnt quite slammed home - interior light must have been on - no central locking - turns ign key & DeeDed

 

Trusty Halfrauds '1200cc type' charger is doing the bizz just now...

 

Bloody alarm 'armed' when I left it so not sure what is going on here.

 

 

ARSEBISCUITS

 

 

TS

[purplebargeken]

Ma has just announced we're giving a lift. To Margaret Ree. What could possibly go wrong?

 

Make sure you are overly insured and wear a crash helmet for the entire time. Including the ceremony.

[wuvvum]

Ran out of fuel in the modern today - what a fucking hassle!

 

Todays top tip - when your C2 dash computer says the fuel level is too low, it aint joking.

 

When I had my C2 I noticed that the range readout on the trip computer always went down a lot quicker than the actual mileage you were doing.  Got me worried the first time it did it, when I was miles from anywhere - managed to nurse it to a pez station though thankfully.

[Station]

Have Absolute Radio 80's as my alarm clock.

It had 40 minutes straight of uninterrupted adverts before Id had enough and switched it off. 40 MINUTES!

 

Also why do radio 2 presenters constantly plug 'strictly' (come dancing)? Stop it!

[Timewaster]

On the subject of radio 2 - why is it they never mention google and rarely mention face book (it's always "a search engine" and "social Meedjah") but they go on and on about twitter all the bloody time?

 

And Jo whiley can't go 10 minutes without mentioning Meida Vale or Glastonbury.

[twosmoke300]

Cos she (wrongly) thinks she has replaced the late great John Peel

[Cavcraft]

Why do I fall for 'I'll only be a minute, I only want one thing' then stand outside shops in the freezing bastard cold as people go in and back out with trollies full of shopping? Then, 30 minutes later, my missus saunters out with 3 things we didn't bloody well need anyway.  

Hoo-fucking-ray.

[MarvinsMom]

i dunno what Jo Whiley is like on Radio 2, but she was AWFUL on Radio 1. she'd play this dreadful terrible noise pollution from some bunch of talentless tone deaf twats, and she'd be going on about how these wankers would be the next great big thing (i don't think many of them ever where)

 

i just thought she was a sad sycophantic bitch, so i used to turn her off....

 

saying that i cannot actually remember the last time i listened to Radio 1, probably when Mark and Lard were still on in the afternoon.

 

now i think you need to be brain damaged to listen to that (radio 1) all day,

[beko1987]

I put radio 1 on at 5.45pm for newsbeat, then the 10 minute takeover at 6, then either keep it on it it's good choices or turn it off. Friday they have their 'dance anthems' which are usually shit so turn it off and put some decent tunes on!

 

I time my commute to it, if I'm not at or past Chinnor by the 10 minute takeover I've left work late/had a bad commute!

[steve_earwig]

Why do I fall for 'I'll only be a minute, I only want one thing' then stand outside shops in the freezing bastard cold as people go in and back out with trollies full of shopping? Then, 30 minutes later, my missus saunters out with 3 things we didn't bloody well need anyway.  

Hoo-fucking-ray.

 

The mistake you're making there is staying outside while your wife goes in. I saw a documentary a while back said that supermarkets are designed around women as they're most likely to impulse buy things they don't need.

[steve_earwig]

I don't listen to radio here (they speak too fast for me to understand, plus the music is abysmal) but I stopped watching the tv here after I counted 24 adverts in one commercial break.

[Pillock]

Team Rock radio on DAB.

 

Firstly, no adverts at all, I presume they're funded from their website and magazines (they seem to own Classic Rock, Prog magazines amongst others)

 

Secondly, they'll play metal at 7.30am which proper gets you in the mood for the M25.

 

Lastly, they broadcast at 128kbs where a lot of commercial stations are 64 or even 48. Absolute 90s sounds awful, they're 48kbps I think.

[AlabamaShrimp]

i dunno what Jo Whiley is like on Radio 2, but she was AWFUL on Radio 1. she'd play this dreadful terrible noise pollution from some bunch of talentless tone deaf twats, and she'd be going on about how these wankers would be the next great big thing (i don't think many of them ever where)

 

i just thought she was a sad sycophantic bitch, so i used to turn her off....

 

saying that i cannot actually remember the last time i listened to Radio 1, probably when Mark and Lard were still on in the afternoon.

 

now i think you need to be brain damaged to listen to that (radio 1) all day,

I can't have the radio on when I'm working* due to smug presenters and the constant repeating of the same songs.

 

Wife as a radio in the kitchen that seems stuck on heart or some such shit. It plays the same records again and again and again, if I hear that fucking happy song one more time.......

 

 

Same with the car really. If the car has one and I actually remember to turn it on I spend so long turning it over that it's not worth it

[Inspector Morose]

Radio 4 FTW!