The grumpy thread

[Cavcraft]

/\

That's what air rifles are for.

[robinmasters]

I've just seen a Ford Mondeo advert in which they demonstrate that the correct procedure for driving when it's a bit dark is to have your headlights and fog lights on.

 

 

BELL ENDS

[cobblers]

Hey, if you don't have your front foglights on all the time, who's going to know you're swanky enough to have bought a almost any car made in the last fifteen years?

 

Personally I always have my wipers on whenever I'm driving uphill and hazard lights on too, otherwise how would people know I'm not driving around in a pre war morris minor with semaphores and vacuum wipers like some kind of pleb?

[myglaren]

Codswallop. IIRC, there's an access hatch in the wheelarch which can be easily accessed without having to remove wheels.

This is true.  Job looked a near impossibility until I accidentally discovered the hatch.  Two minutes after that.

Offfside not so easy though.

[hennabm]

Minor grump really;

 

Why do DJs* at parties think the only way to get people to dance is to keep turning up the volume so no can can speak to each other at all?

 

Wankers

 

(He didn't have any discs and the only type of jockey he was, was a knob jockey)

[Timewaster]

Got any quo?

[Inspector Morose]

Did he have ghost town by the specials then?

[Lacquer Peel]

Hey, if you don't have your front foglights on all the time, who's going to know you're swanky enough to have bought a almost any car made in the last fifteen years?

 

Personally I always have my wipers on whenever I'm driving uphill and hazard lights on too, otherwise how would people know I'm not driving around in a pre war morris minor with semaphores and vacuum wipers like some kind of pleb?

 

 

I've just seen a Ford Mondeo advert in which they demonstrate that the correct procedure for driving when it's a bit dark is to have your headlights and fog lights on.

 

 

BELL ENDS

 

No tail lights though, modern cars don't need them to be seen in the dark.

[Inspector Morose]

Nah, that's just the lighting ecu screwing up and randomly putting on lights for no reason or input from the driver.

[dave21478]

double post cack-handedness.

[dave21478]

Minor grump really;

 

Why do DJs* at parties think the only way to get people to dance is to keep turning up the volume so no can can speak to each other at all?

 

Wankers

 

(He didn't have any discs and the only type of jockey he was, was a knob jockey)

 

I was at a party in Aberdeen where the hosts had paid a not insignificant amount of cash for a DJ to play. Some greasy scrote turned up, plugged his iphone into an amp, pressed play and fucked off to the bar. His phone played a Pete Tong essential mix, complete with intro from Pete himself, very obviously recorded off iplayer or whatever.

 

He was.....encouraged....to return the money he had been paid.

[Lacquer Peel]

 

I don't know how I ended up 'liking' the Car Sales Memes page on facebook, but it can FRO if that's what passes for humour on it. LOL GAY.

[cort16]

Aye some of it is a bit 1970s in their attitudes to wards gay people and women. That pretty much sums up the motor trade. I like the px of the week posts though there are done manky bastards out there.

[Cavcraft]

There was only ever one Gaylord. If it ain't Dick Emery, it ain't shit.

[Lankytim]

I'm a member of a few "Cheap cars in the NW UNDER £1000" type of groups on Facebook and it seems that pretty much every member of these groups, buyers and sellers alike are total inbred fucktards. I've never seen such a such a selection of barried up no hope overpriced shitbuckets advertised with the worst grammar and spelling on the entire net. The sellers profile pic is often a pit bull terrier or an EDL logo and the car on sale is usually pictured on a dodgy looking estate, parked on a front garden with an old oven or piss stained mattress in the background, along with the previously mentioned pitbull savaging a small child. Although the car will have an asking price of £750 or something some tosser will invariably comment something along the lines of £90 2NITE M8? Said piss taking tosser will feature on EVERY single ad for a car on EVERY sale group on FB with the same derisory offer whether it's a 6K BMW or a £250 Fiesta.

 

Should you find a car that actually looks OK, and isn't being sold by a reject from "Benefits street", your request for more info or a viewing will be ignored, the car having been sold some days previously and the ad not updated.

[TimothyClaypole]

Scottish Power, had to call them to get a payment transferred to the right account as they've set me 3 separate accounts up for some reason.

 

Checked today and the money's not been transferred but there's 5 payments to my account of various amounts leaving me £22.00 in credit... god knows what they've done now...

[privatewire]

Scottish Power, had to call them to get a payment transferred to the right account as they've set me 3 separate accounts up for some reason.

 

Checked today and the money's not been transferred but there's 5 payments to my account of various amounts leaving me £22.00 in credit... god knows what they've done now...

I had Scottish Power as clients in my previous job. Evil shower of cunts.

[Cavcraft]

Tim, there's a serial knobhead on the local pages who automatically offers about 1/3rd of the price of every effing car he sees advertised. I started chasing him round once doing the same to him, and he really didn't like it!

[cobblers]

I'm a member of a few "Cheap cars in the NW UNDER £1000" type of groups on Facebook and it seems that pretty much every member of these groups, buyers and sellers alike are total inbred fucktards. I've never seen such a such a selection of barried up no hope overpriced shitbuckets advertised with the worst grammar and spelling on the entire net. The sellers profile pic is often a pit bull terrier or an EDL logo and the car on sale is usually pictured on a dodgy looking estate, parked on a front garden with an old oven or piss stained mattress in the background, along with the previously mentioned pitbull savaging a small child. Although the car will have an asking price of £750 or something some tosser will invariably comment something along the lines of £90 2NITE M8? Said piss taking tosser will feature on EVERY single ad for a car on EVERY sale group on FB with the same derisory offer whether it's a 6K BMW or a £250 Fiesta.

 

Should you find a car that actually looks OK, and isn't being sold by a reject from "Benefits street", your request for more info or a viewing will be ignored, the car having been sold some days previously and the ad not updated.

range rover for sale 

[Lankytim]

Humm

 

A prime example there. I'm going to leave "OMG CARS 4 SAEL IN STOKE FOR £500 OR LESS" and join "Motor carriages for sale in Alderley edge" Hopefully they won't be full of empty cider cans, bits of foil and dog shit.

[myglaren]

Scottish Power, had to call them to get a payment transferred to the right account as they've set me 3 separate accounts up for some reason.

 

Checked today and the money's not been transferred but there's 5 payments to my account of various amounts leaving me £22.00 in credit... god knows what they've done now...

 

Scottish Power, had to call them to get a payment transferred to the right account as they've set me 3 separate accounts up for some reason.

 

Checked today and the money's not been transferred but there's 5 payments to my account of various amounts leaving me £22.00 in credit... god knows what they've done now...

 

 

My daughter bought a house in June-ish and in August changed from EDL to Scottish Power (I'm with them and haven't had a problem).

 

Between them and EDL they have buggered up the transfer and readings multiple times and charged her between £9 a week - and when she moaned at them to sort it out - £2,287.38 a month!

 

Needless to say but she was furious and involved the CAB and ombudsman.

She has photographed her meters every week since moving in

 

And had a wood burner fitted last Tuesday  

[Cavcraft]

I wouldn't like to owe EDL money, they'll probably turn up outside with a Rottweiler in a Stone Island coat.

[fordperv]

I'm a member of a few "Cheap cars in the NW UNDER £1000" type of groups on Facebook and it seems that pretty much every member of these groups, buyers and sellers alike are total inbred fucktards. I've never seen such a such a selection of barried up no hope overpriced shitbuckets advertised with the worst grammar and spelling on the entire net. The sellers profile pic is often a pit bull terrier or an EDL logo and the car on sale is usually pictured on a dodgy looking estate, parked on a front garden with an old oven or piss stained mattress in the background, along with the previously mentioned pitbull savaging a small child. Although the car will have an asking price of £750 or something some tosser will invariably comment something along the lines of £90 2NITE M8? Said piss taking tosser will feature on EVERY single ad for a car on EVERY sale group on FB with the same derisory offer whether it's a 6K BMW or a £250 Fiesta.

 

Should you find a car that actually looks OK, and isn't being sold by a reject from "Benefits street", your request for more info or a viewing will be ignored, the car having been sold some days previously and the ad not updated.

So you've bought a car from bentilee then???

[AlabamaShrimp]

Just watch part 2 of a very boring top gear special* the controversy over a number plate was fucking stupid but even going there in the first place was

[trigger]

I'm never going to Argentina, what a bunch of animals. That must have been terrifying for the film crew.

 

I can't believe there 31 of them though, they make it out like there's only a few of them on the trip.

[HillmanImp]

I'm never going to Argentina, what a bunch of animals. That must have been terrifying for the film crew.

 

It was Top Gear, most of the film crew were probably the protesters. 

 

I can't believe there 31 of them though, they make it out like there's only a few of them on the trip.

 

I would genuinely think there were more than this how many cars do they have? Bollocks. Probably at least 70. How many cameras do they have? Plus the mechanics, plus the caterers, the security, the guides (not girl guides), the people with the drones, they probably hire helicopter crew but they need people in advance to agree filming rights, agree terms etc and planners for all the 'stunts'. 

 

They have never shied away from the fact that they have a full support team though but thinkk 31 sounds a little low? Remember in India when they were all queueing up to take a dump in the XJS?

 

[jakebullet]

Arse biscuits! I've wasted a tenner getting the father's will.

Left it all to wife #2, unless she croaked within 28 days then I'd have got 1/6th. Yes, it's too late to bump her off.

 

Suppose there's the remote possibility the idiots got matching wills, and she's too stupid to change hers.

[MrDuke]

Kill her anyway, just in case. What have you got to lose?

[mat_the_cat]

The welder I bought just before Christmas last year (to replace my original which had just been stolen) has packed up. A week out of the 12 month warranty, and the worst time of year to try and get things sorted quickly! To rub salt into the wound, the insurance had a limit to the amount of cover for outbuildings, and didn't cover everything which was pinched.

[hennabm]

In the news today;

 

OMG shock/horror

 

Lots of snow has fallen in the French Alps.

 

You would never believe it at this time of year, would you.