The grumpy thread

[anonymous user]

^ I am not pleased by your obvious discomfiture, but it is funny. It just sounds like typical Labrador behaviour; my sister's Lab likes to retrieve sticks (for which read small trees) At the weekend he was delighted to present her with a live hedgehog which he had retrieved from the garden, she had a hell of a job persuading it to leave the kitchen and go back outside.

[dave21478]

Not sure if this is a grin or a grump.... I was too stupid to change the clock on my car and had to read the manual! How embarrassing

 

Also, took the mutts out this lunchtime and got talking to a bloke with a Labrador pup. Lovely dog right up until he decided his need for my walking stick was greater than mine, and pinched it mid stride.... I went down like a sack of shite and the bloody pup legged it with my stick clenched firmly in his gob, went in the woods and chewed it to bits!!!!

 

 

Thats not funny, but....well, actually yeah, thats pretty funny.

[xtriple]

Well I hope you buggers that find it amusing are going to cough up for a new walking stick - the chuffing things are pricey! hell, I see chod on here sell for less than a decent cane.... bearing in mind that I like to think myself 'posh' and only have solid silver handles and ivory shafts! 

 

I mus admit though that I did find it rather amusing myself, made worse by the stubborn refusal of my two mutts to come to my aid and go 'duff' the little bugger up!   

[DS20]

MY SISTER AND I MUST HAVE MATCHING COATS WEVE GONE ON HOLIDAY EVERY YEAR FOR 20 YEARS WITH MATCHING COATS MY MATCHING COAT HAS NOT ARRIVED AND YOU HAVE RUINED MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 I WILL NEVER USE (name of high street supplier) AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

That was a verbatim email I actually received while working at a call centre for a respected house-hold name which farmed out its e-shopping to a poxy office in Heald Green full of depressed Mancs and pissed off Scousers. 

 

I either know the person that wrote this email, or the UK is home to multiple identical-coat-wearing sibling groups that become upset if matching clothing isn't available.  

 

 

Anyway, there I was, driving along a dual carriageway this afternoon, no other vehicles within about three hundred yards, when out of the sky* there came a small stone.  Instant windscreen carnage; this one ain't going to be a repair job - new screen it is.  Bollocks.  

[TimothyClaypole]

Asus - I don't mind the adverts at work when I'm testing stuff using YouTube but I'm not about to buy that flipbook/laptop/tablet so knock it off when I'm at home...  

[cort16]

We've recently moved offices from near Paisley to Ibrox closer to the city centre. This means my commute has went from an A road to the M77, which is turning into a bigger and bigger cluster fuck every day as we move into winter. My commute has gone from a solid 45 minutes to anything from an 1= 1 1/2 hours or this morning 2 hours.

I've tried every route in but as soon as you get into Glasgow the volume of traffic (and number of traffic lights) grinds everything to a halt. I've tried coming in earlier, later but it makes no difference. I'm not happy.

[xtriple]

Well after yesterdays fall, I had the worst night of EVER! Ended up taking morphine and ora-morph as well as my usual fentanyl to kill the pain. Granted, one of these days triple dosing will kill me but anything is better than the pain!

 

Then for some God unknown reason, I ended up with chronic indigestion and spent a couple of hours throwing up. Bloody great.

[Jazoli]

We've recently moved offices from near Paisley to Ibrox closer to the city centre. This means my commute has went from an A road to the M77, which is turning into a bigger and bigger cluster fuck every day as we move into winter. My commute has gone from a solid 45 minutes to anything from an 1= 1 1/2 hours or this morning 2 hours.

I've tried every route in but as soon as you get into Glasgow the volume of traffic (and number of traffic lights) grinds everything to a halt. I've tried coming in earlier, later but it makes no difference. I'm not happy.

Buy a motorcycle or scooter, no more traffic problems

[cort16]

Me and two wheels don't get on

[Craig the Princess]

Dispatching a train at Stansted Airport, went to look out of the window to check all is ok. Headbutted closed window, sent glasses flying.

 

Verdict: Moron

[Lankytim]

Fuck you MAERSK again. 2 containers at customers premises. Containers required 0.

 

Just fuck yourselves!

[trigger]

 

Yeah fuck you Maersk!

[hairnet]

LOLTRIG

 

just dont drop any

[Cavcraft]

It's dark, not foggy, how many fucking morons don't realise this? Shit loads, by the looks of it. 

 

Oh, and to the wanker in the car behind me nearly all the way back from Shrewsbury how about taking your headlights off dazzle, you two bob cock knocking gobshite?

[Jim Bell]

Adverts you can't skip on YouTube.

Think I'm going to watch a 50 second advert for dancing so that I can then watch a a 7 second clip of a woman pushing a cat in a bin?

No.

Fuck adverts and fuck YouTube.

[Jim Bergerac]

Adblock is your friend:

https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/adblock-plus/

https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/adblock/gighmmpiobklfepjocnamgkkbiglidom?hl=en

[dave21478]

Yes, the internet is much more relaxing with adblock plus.

[KruJoe]

Correct!

I do my browsing on a 10 year old laptop running XP with adblock plus (free) and it's GR88. I haven't seen an advert on the internet since 2005 - I forgot they even exist!

[Jim Bell]

Thanks dudes. This makes me happy.

[xtriple]

Thanks for that, just installed it for free (my favourite price!) as te ads on youtube piss me off as well.

[daveb47]

Further to that if you do use facebook then this allows you to customise it so you get no game/join this group etc requests and much more.

http://www.fbpurity.com/

or if you use Firefox then it is available  through tools/addons.

F.B. (Fluff Busting) Purity is a Facebook customizing browser extension. It alters your view of Facebook to show only relevant information to you. It removes annoying and irrelevant stories from your newsfeed such as game and application spam, ads and sponsored stories. It also hides the boxes you don't want to see on each side of the newsfeed.

[mat_the_cat]

/\ Brilliant, thanks Dave!

[cobblers]

Totally stereotypical broken britain rant coming up so feel free to tune out.

A couple of months back we got some new neighbours. They're a couple in their mid 20s. Neither of them work. Two kids, one more on the way, in a house they don't pay for that's just been renovated by the council with a new boiler, kitchen, double glazing etc. Sky came last week and climbed on the roof to fit a dish etc. Here we are, with a mortgage to pay, two full time jobs both earning quite reasonable money, but we don't have kids because we can't afford them (and I can't fucking stand them). Last week we cancelled Sky because we can't afford it really, and are putting the money into a pot to buy a new boiler as we can't afford one. Our boiler is about 25 years old, just like the decoration in half the house, the kitchen and the windows. These were all installed by the council  before the previous owner bought the house off the council on the right to buy scheme for about six grand in 1991.

 

I was just outside while the puppy had a wazz to overhear the 7 month pregnant woman sat in the garden smoking a joint with her mate, moaning about how a health worker has reported them for having a pit bull terrier and that they have only just bought it and it cost them £450 and now they have to get it put down.

 

At least they are quiet though.

[drum]

^ frustration shared here.

[dave21478]

I fully expect that when I buy something that is unbranded or a cheap brand that it will perhaps not be as good as the big brand name stuff - thats just common sense. Maybe not as light or as strong or as powerfull or whatever...maybe not going to last as long....maybe made to different tolerances etc.

I do expect it to fucking well work though. To do the job it is supposed to do. Seems thats asking a bit much these days.

[dave21478]

Oh, and while I am at it....cunts that phone me up and immediately put me on hold.

 

I answer the phone and a robot voice tells me to please hold the line while I am connected to an available advisor. This happens 4 or 5 times a week.

 

How about fuck right off? If you cant even be bothered to call me personally, dont fucking bother calling at all.

[trigger]

I'm having a mare at the moment with automated calls telling me I'm eligible for government granted heating and windows, 2-4 times a day I'm getting these calls on the house phone on a withheld number, it's seriously fucking me off now as I don't know how to stop it.

[KruJoe]

For the last month, every time I've been at anyone else's house, (anyone who has a land-line,) they have had one of those calls about a new boiler. WTAF?

I'm glad I don't have a house phone.

[Spiny Norman]

I'm having a mare at the moment with automated calls telling me I'm eligible for government granted heating and windows, 2-4 times a day I'm getting these calls on the house phone on a withheld number, it's seriously fucking me off now as I don't know how to stop it.

 

Doubtless someone will be along to suggest you register with TPS, or whatever they're called. I say don't bother, I've done it on two separate occasions and still get the twats calling me up.

The cynic in me wonders if TPS (The mob who are supposed to guarantee you don't get cold calls, in case no-one knows what I'm on about) aren't just another load of scamming arseholes who sell your number to Indian call centres...

 

The way I deal with them is this.

If my home phone rings and I don't recognise the name or number I let the answering machine get it. The idea that one robotic box of tricks has been programmed to spout garbage while the other records it, only for me to come along later and hit the 'delete' button gives me a slightly warm fuzzy feeling, like I'm getting one over the bastards...

[Cavcraft]

The odd time I do answer them I'm as abusive and offensive as possible. To the ones who take offence to it I ask them to report me, they're not going to because they shouldn't be 'phoning in the first place. 

 

 

 

My grump is arseholes eating sausage rolls in Delamere Forest. Never mind 'bloody bikers ruining it for people' it's your fucking dog off the lead running all over the shop, and I'm the fat fucking six foot three bloke riding towards you wearing a bright green bastarding coast with my lights on in the day time. The same fat fucking six foot three bloke riding towards you wearing a bright green bastarding coast with my lights on in the day time you were looking at for the last hundred yards or so, who had to slow right down because you're a stupid twat. Next time I'll launch your dog into the big pond and you'll be close behind it.