The grumpy thread

[chaseracer]

Commun-i-al - Communal.

Nu-killer - Nuclear.

 

Retards.

 

That is all.

 

There, their, they're...

 

[beko1987]

Having a new car that I should be out driving with half a tank in that I can't use, so need to put petrol in my old car to get to work this week.

[tooSavvy]

...but it's a PITA to use, with a crappy little keyboard (it won't recognise an external keyboard for some reason), and it's running Windows Vista which is shit.

 

....hmm - anything else [uSB] you connect does it come up 'looking for driver for your.....' whatever?? If you don't have USB [in BIOS] set to be recognised "Plug'nPlay" then it won't see anything.

 

Just a thort, m8

 

 

TS

[RedSparrow]

Ebay decided it had to verify my computer so I had to phone the cunts up with a code.

Waited 10 minutes to be connected to a call centre in the USA to a bloke who sounded either extremely sarcastic or educationally subnormal. I actually ended up guiding the conversation as he seemed to be on another planet.

[M'coli]

The ammount of cyclist i've had to pass going up thru glossop / chappel-en-le-thrith today

 

this tour de france shite is yet another reason i hate the french

I'm a cyclist. A fat, not-as-quick-as-I'd-like-to-be, middle-aged cyclist, and I fucking hate sunny Sunday mornings, the roads are full of lycra warriors and the cycle lanes are full of middle-aged, middle-class cunts on bikes (they really get on my tits because they ride towards you in packs slowly and don't fucking look up and take in that there's nigh-on 20 stone of me and bike bearing down on them at twice their speed).

[twosmoke300]

Fucking Wiggins wanna bees.

 

NO MAN SHOULD EVER WEAR LYCRA

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I love this film of some lad 'entering into negotiations with' a gobshite cyclist who IMO needs shooting in the face.

 

[Cavcraft]

Yeah, talking of which went for a drive (then a walk) through Bushy Park in that there London yesterday and Rupert Farquahar and his jolly chums from the cycling club literally blocked the whole fucking road on one side, riding five a breast very slowly. At the café it was ram full of the twats all going on about Gideon's swimming gala or whatever it was. 

 

I ride a bike as well but a hell of the club type riders are massive wankers who think they own the cycle paths and roads. Incidentally when they are riding towards me two or three abreast on the cycling network paths etc, and I'm over to the left not one of the bastards has ever played chicken and won. I'm certain one day I'll have one of the cocky bastards off, as I'm fucked if I'm swerving onto the grass to avoid them.

[twosmoke300]

Down here thousands of pounds have been spent on physcopaths ( crazy paving 😃 )

But the ignorant wankers ride on the roads right beside them.

[Angrydicky]

I've grumped about lycra warriors on here on many occasions, and it's not getting better. Every weekend, Mr overpaid London stockbroker gets on his £1000 worth of fancy bike, puts on his full lycra gear then heads for the nearest countryside with a few mates. Once there, they ride two or three abreast, in the middle of the road to make it as difficult as possible for cars to pass them, showing no regard for other road users, shouting to each other about random bullshit like football and generally being massive twats.

 

N.B. I have nothing against most cyclists, but these knobheads that take themselves too seriously and think they own the roads are such a liability.

[Cavcraft]

The flip side of course are the odd arsehole car drivers, like the cockwand in the Maserati who overtook me full tilt this afternoon then switched lanes. You do get the odd dickhead showing off, as well as people who drive too close or shout abuse for no real reason at all.

 

Had a couple of debates with the 'I pay road tax' brigade too, I'm always happy to point out I probably pay more as I usually have five or six old bangers taxed and ready to use.

It's swings and roundabouts, good and bad on both sides.

[twosmoke300]

True . I don't think cyclists should pay tax but insurance wouldn't be a bad idea

[maxpower]

"PLOD..the motorist's friend".......... I dunno if i am missing the point but here goes... her indoors was involved in a VERY MINOR collision with one of these numpty's on a scooter with a clipboard... doing his knowledge apparently.... to me equates...too fkin busy looking at street names to pay attention to the other road users... he was indicating to go left... then carried on straight ahead.... he indicated to go right... and you guessed it...carried on ahead.. every single corner he came to he did this..my missus thought it was suss..so kept her distance... then she moved to right lane to turn right... and numpty is on her passenger side which is the lane to go straight ahead... but decides he wants to travel the same way my missus is going and hits her car in the passenger side rear quarter.. she gets out of car and tells him to get up and that it's an insurance scam... then all of a sudden he is screaming in agony... plod is called... a woman comes forward as a witness for my missus... the guy wants an ambuance..(grazed knee)... plod says he doesn't need an ambulance... after details are exchanged he hops on his scooter and drives off...after a visit from an investigator into fake claims we get a letter.. NOT from his insurers...but from  NO WIN NO FEE solicitor... he is claiming he had to take 28 days off work with whiplash (remember he got on his scooter and drove away)... he had to hire a car for a month as his scooter was repaired..(no damage)..yet when questioned by this no win no fee mob...he states he never had to visit a garage for repairs???.. has no proof of visiting either a doctor or hospital for whiplash or any other injuries?? and this claim came through 3 months after the accident!! then plod writes to missus saying after investigation there is no case to answer, but if it goes to court then it could have been driving without due care and attention from her???...the guy said the missus rear ended him...but the scooter has no damage as the scooter hit the side of her car and left dent...why did he not involved his insurers instead of no win no fee...i told missus to counter claim to make sure his insurers get involved. her insurance renewal price through that twat has now gone to £1800....FOR A FKIN NISSAN MICRA!!!

[beko1987]

I just wait behind the 3 abreast brigade then nail it on the next straight.

 

Did honk one idiot once though who was clearly rocking out with beatz yo headphones in more than thinking about cycling as he nearly swerved into me when I was in the other lane mid overtake. Happy to say he went straight into the nettles and will hopefully think more carefully about how he cycles in future...

[beko1987]

Maxpower that would boil my piss. Dashcam?

[RedSparrow]

Conclusion:

Some people are nice and some people aren't.

[Pillock]

My biggie with lycra-clad tosspots at the minute is that I appear to live halfway around a fucking velodrome so come 9am on a Sunday they're all out. Now what I'm doing at 9am on a Sunday generally involves being horizontal but because its warm I've got the windows open. I get woken up every bloody Sunday by three second shouted snippets of conversation as they tear past the house.... Here's a tip lads, either ride or talk. You can't do both because that involves 140dB yelling about your new Audi S-Line or how much you liked teabagging your servant. Every minute or so, just enough to stop me from sleeping in.

 

Also, one of the twats took out my fence last year. His own admission he was racing his mate and not looking, face to face with a bus and he swerved into my fence. Racing? I'd lose my licence in a car but it's OK because they're on bikes. Pah.

 

I do like cyclepath chicken though. Surprisingly they bottle it when confronted by 17st of sweaty bloke on a bike of which a fuck is clearly not given.

[maxpower]

Maxpower that would boil my piss. Dashcam?

 

yep beko bought one for me and her... lesson learnt

[Lord Sterling]

French mountain roads and lack of signs. Decided to video a couple of drives through the roads when I decided to take what I thought was a road that would lead down to pretty much near enough towards home. It didn't, lack of any kind of signs, diesel running low. Thankfully a petrol station was found literally in the middle of nowhere, some diesel replenished and onward I went. I ended up in some town north of where I wanted to go, lack of SatNav, no maps and a Tab that didn't want to load maps, I did somehow manage to find my way onto a familiar road and got home.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Phew that was a close one

[cort16]

The Lycra thing is reasonably new. You always get loads of cyclists going over to Arran on the ferry to cycle around it (why not it's a nice place) but this year I notice ALL of them wearing skin right Lycra tshirts and shorts. even the fat ones who's fat arses stuffed into Lycra shorts is basically a crime against humanity are strutting around the boat with all their lumps sticking out. What's wrong with just wearing shorts and a tshirt ffs?

[dollywobbler]

LS - my recommendation is that you don't come to Wales. I think you'd have a coronary. 

[twosmoke300]

Don't forget the maxipad they seem to have in the pants.

Just get a proper seat

[Inspector Morose]

Because when I'm on the recumbent the wind whistles right up my trouser leg and freezes me balls off! I look a twat but comfort prevails I'm afraid.

[Gerald]

The ammount of cyclist i've had to pass going up thru glossop / chappel-en-le-thrith today

this tour de france shite is yet another reason i hate the french

Monseuir Hatton, je' swappez vous, notre surfeit de 'm' et 'p' pour mon ...'aw you say... coping stones ... pour qui vous restante le coping stones pour une week. Oui?

[Lord Sterling]

LS - my recommendation is that you don't come to Wales. I think you'd have a coronary.

Yeah, duly noted DW. Maybe I should just give up driving altogether?

[vulgalour]

My biggest gripe about lycra cyclists is when there's a seriously fit one and it makes me take my eyes off the road.  Dangerous is that.

[chrisjvm]

There are ignorant,selfish,impatient road users... Whether they drive cars/vans/lorries or ride bikes.

Being both a driver and cyclist of 40 years I'm not really understanding the vitriol directed at cyclists??

IIRC when I passed my test the Highway code stated that a cyclist could legally ride up to a cars width from the kerb.

Cyclists are vulnerable on the road,they haven't got a big metal box protecting them... I've had a fair few near misses over the years,often impatient drivers trying to squeeze past when there is oncoming traffic on a narrowish B road.

I always try to stay close to the kerb but sometimes have to avoid large potholes otherwise I'd fall off in front of anything that was behind me.

As a matter of course I invariably wave vehicles through when I'm better sighted and It's safe for them to pass.

No one has exclusive rights on our roads whether they have to pay road tax and insurance or not.A little more tolerance and patience all round and engaging with your grey matter (if you have that option)would make the roads safer for all road users.

[oman5]

They might be able to soon. The A9 had an unwritten 50mph limit for lorries until recently. It's about to be reinstated and made official, backed up with average speed cameras. I would think that will lead to pressure to increase the HGV limit elsewhere.

I really hope so. I HATE driving a truck at 40 if the road is clearly safe to drive faster on, I know it pisses everyone off, but most of the big fleets now have live satellite tracking and we get it in the neck if we break the speed limit, especially the supermarket trucks to whom public image is everything (look how good we are doing the speed limit).

I want the railways renationalised and freight moved onto the rails. but only if I can drive a train. 

[Cavcraft]

There are ignorant,selfish,impatient road users... Whether they drive cars/vans/lorries or ride bikes.

Being both a driver and cyclist of 40 years I'm not really understanding the vitriol directed at cyclists??

IIRC when I passed my test the Highway code stated that a cyclist could legally ride up to a cars width from the kerb.

Cyclists are vulnerable on the road,they haven't got a big metal box protecting them... I've had a fair few near misses over the years,often impatient drivers trying to squeeze past when there is oncoming traffic on a narrowish B road.

I always try to stay close to the kerb but sometimes have to avoid large potholes otherwise I'd fall off in front of anything that was behind me.

As a matter of course I invariably wave vehicles through when I'm better sighted and It's safe for them to pass.

No one has exclusive rights on our roads whether they have to pay road tax and insurance or not.A little more tolerance and patience all round and engaging with your grey matter (if you have that option)would make the roads safer for all road users.

 

/\

This.

 

I also like to wave a hand to those who have been patient or who've overtaken me with plenty of room to spare, or indeed if I make an error myself. Also, as noted again this weekend, there are some seriously fit birds cycling these days. Sometimes I accidentally slow down a bit to admire the view, especially when riding up hill, as the sight of some really nice lycra clad arse getting out of the saddle is a joy to behold.