The grumpy thread

[quicksilver]

Just when I think people couldn't get any stupider I hear on the radio that the local police have had to make an official announcement because there's a rumour doing the rounds that dialling 999 and hanging up will somehow make your phone battery last longer Honestly, I really do despair at the sheer mind-numbing idiocy of much of our society.

[tooSavvy]

Savvy? No!! Still wringing it's neck.....

 

Speeding..... well - WhiteVanMan area.

 

 

I only really cane my Savv on country/natsplimit roads. Always a good citizen

 

 

TS

[RedSparrow]

In our building we all have a store room in the basement. Some work was done on the foundations and so we all had to empty our rooms and take off the padlocks.

I come back after Christmas to discover someone has removed my name from my one and put their stuff in it and their locks on it. Probably because it was the cleanest one.

Now we have the problem of living in a country where I can't speak the language. Normally I'd knock on doors and speak to people. I've written a polite note using google translate asking whoever it may be to remove their locks and crap and put it on the post boxes so everyone can see it.

I put my name and flat on it so people know it's me - that's not too passive aggressive is it?

[Cavcraft]

See, you obviously have some form of manners and decency. If that happened at my works the lock would be on the floor, the contents scattered round the room and trodden on with oily boots.

 

*But it definitely wasn't me who cut through some lazy bastards lock and threw their bike the other side of the fence when they kept parking it in 'my' spot.

[RedSparrow]

Yeah, I'll give them a few days and then try the building company.

First thought was to smash their shitty lock off and dump their stuff in the hall. But since we're neighbours I thought I'd try to be diplomatic at first.

They know what they've done though cos they took my name off the door.

[Cavcraft]

Ahh, totally different then and I feel obliged to point you towards the landmark case of Regina Vs Piss Vs Letterbox Vs Hall-Floor, bought about by our Internet Law Department.

[Spiny Norman]

RANT WARNING.

 

Daft old bats in Peugeot SUV things #2245

If you were a normal person with a normal person's level of driving skill and observation, you'd think that a big fuck-off, white Volvo estate with its lights on would be fairly easy to spot wouldn't you?

It takes a special type of buffoon to come up to a junction, look round and see said Swedish barge heading straight at you and not only decide to go for it, but to do so like the doddery old pensioner you are, so she was right in front of me for what felt like fucking ages.
 

If she'd nipped out smartly and then stood on it I might have just thought, "That's a bit cheeky" and got on with it but no, two days into the ownership of a 'new' 23 year old car I'm doing an emergency stop. And then within the space of two or three seconds, wondering if it has ABS, discovering it doesn't and recalling the cadence braking technique I haven't had to use since someone did something similar to me in the Amazon....

 

If this had happened a couple of days ago in the old Merc I WOULD have just rammed it into the old bitch, horn blasting, lights blazing and given the old girl a good send off.

I hope you realise how lucky you were today, you incompetent old cow...
 

[daveb47]

why do fuckin dvla make things so awkward.

Should have Alfa mot,d soon.(another £45 cos its over 10 days + £25 for a days insurance)

Want to sell it but obviously will be difficult with no tax.

Thought of putting 6 months tax on it at cost to buyer,then realized that if i do it has to come off sorn and be insured which i dont need and is bloody expensive as i have no no claims as being used on another car.

[tooSavvy]

Spiny - RANT WARNING >>> melded with SPEED AWARENESS COURSE knobbing.....

 

.... had we thwacked the old bird (Sweede or Kraut Waagenn) and high[er]speed had been part of the equation...OooF!!

 

 my head is only now deflating from beinn filled with all this naughtieness/imagerry.

 

 

TS

[Cheggers]

Spiny - RANT WARNING >>> melded with SPEED AWARENESS COURSE knobbing.....

 

.... had we thwacked the old bird (Sweede or Kraut Waagenn) and high[er]speed had been part of the equation...OooF!!

 

my head is only now deflating from beinn filled with all this naughtieness/imagerry.

 

 

TS

 

Sorry fella, that's just a bunch of letters

 

 

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[chaseracer]

My old Seicento's spare, which had a 60kph sticker on it, was the same size as the standard tyre/wheel.

I still get some enjoyment from the fact that many 'spacesaver' tyres are larger than the rubber on my Dyane.

[vulgalour]

After a surprisingy bouyant December, I've had zero income for January.  I've got Stuff to throw money at, January being its usual rubbish self is not helping right now.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

I just watched an advert on Youtube for British Gas landlord services because the guy presenting it kept pronouncing the word as "Landslord". I kept watching to see if he was going to do it every time. I wonder if that was a very clever way to make people watch the ad or if British Gas genuinely found an actor who seriously could not pronounce the word landlord and then cast him in their landlord advert. 

 

"we know it can be tough being a landslord..."

 

edit: and he's not saying it like land's lord, he's saying land slord

[dollywobbler]

Like that Speed thing on BBC2 recently. I only caught a snippet, but I think 'Harry' Vatenen did very well not to get upset with his name being all wrong. Every time.

[RedSparrow]

Just when I think people couldn't get any stupider I hear on the radio that the local police have had to make an official announcement because there's a rumour doing the rounds that dialling 999 and hanging up will somehow make your phone battery last longer Honestly, I really do despair at the sheer mind-numbing idiocy of much of our society.

 

Oh for fucks sake.

Punishment for this should be an automatic £1000 fine and sterilisation.

[MrDuke]

Oh for fucks sake.

Punishment for this should be an automatic £1000 fine and a .22 to the temple.

 

FTFY

[Rocket88]

Me and either half have reached a parting of the ways.....after 16 years. Not sure if I'm pissed off or relieved.

[Mr Livered]

I bet there's a bit of both after 16 years mate. Take it easy, hope you're okay.

[Rocket88]

Bit of a culture shock at 56, I can tell you! As much my fault as hers, we've reached the stage of being excessively polite to each other..................

[oman5]

at least you are talking. my folks stopped talking from 1985 until 1997 when they finally divorced when my younger brother turned 18. it was pathetic.

I recommend buying more shite to cheer yourself up and take your mind off things.

[Lord Sterling]

Shit this man. Today I took the Micra out simply for a quick wash and spin. No sooner had I pulled out (safely) on the main road had I encountered a van who decided to try and have a go by tailgating me. At the roundabout twatty van driver didn't like me flexing the wanker sign at him. He reversed to which I asked him what his problem was, he stated that I shouldn't have pulled out, we exchanged obcenities for a bit and both drove off. Seems everytime I take the Micra out some sad twat wants to have a go.

 

Football kid twats on my road are still obsessed with playing football wherever and whenever they can. It's bloody cold and dark and they still insist on playing fucking football next to peoples cars.

 

I need to get the fuck out of this street.

[saucedoctor]

^ get a car video camera, Mo. I'm looking at rear-facing cameras as I am SERIOUSLY pissed off with people tailgating me when I'm driving the Rover, or Jas' Golf.

[Cavcraft]

Can you invite some mates round for a late night game of pissed up cricket? If you happen to accidentally* end up smashing one of their windows that'd be a shame. 

[fordperv]

mo i think its the fact your driving a micra the knuckle dragging mouth breathers think oh he must be an easy target because he drives a small car, take a deep breath and feel safe in the knowledge that karma bites these people in the arse very hard eventually, when they do it to the wrong type of person if you understand my thinking.

[saucedoctor]

^ he's right, and I've seen it happen. It's a laugh!

[Junkman]

A big car bullying a small car, what else is new?

I already notice this when driving my new Colt, let alone a Micra. It's like driving under an invisibility cloak, you just don't exist for Teutonic 11-plate shit.

I mean, I can understand it to an extend, the way this newfangled tosh is designed they probably really can't see bugger all.

However, it's even worse when driving a hearing aid beige 1970 2000TC. Although your existence - contrary to when driving a Colt - is clearly recognised, you must be outrun and cut off at all cost.

I'm more and more in favour of the sawed-off shotgun solution, me.

[Brent_Crude]

This was part of the rationale for buying the old Range Rover - prior to that, we relied on the wife's little 206 for a while, which was a big shock for me after years of joyful Alfa 166 ownership. The lack of respect from other road users (abusers) towards the little Pug was not just annoying but a danger to us at times. Funnily enough, that nonsense came to an abrupt stop the moment we got the old Rangie and no selfish, mouth breathing fuckers have trouble us since. Well, actually some scumbag in a Golf GTI tried to once and he got schooled. It shouldn't be this way, but fact is, a big bastard old motor is insurance against the sort of tossers you encountered in your Micra today, Lord_Sterling.

 

Pa_Crude always liked old Saab 900's for a similar reason... those massive bumpers were a big deterrent

 

 

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[dugong]

'Is that OK mate?'

No. It's not OK. 

And you're not my mate, OK? Mate?

[warren t claim]

mo i think its the fact your driving a micra the knuckle dragging mouth breathers think oh he must be an easy target because he drives a small car, take a deep breath and feel safe in the knowledge that karma bites these people in the arse very hard eventually, when they do it to the wrong type of person if you understand my thinking.

I've owned a few small cars recently and I've never encountered this problem. I must be lucky.

[warren t claim]

'Is that OK mate?'

 

No. It's not OK. 

 

And you're not my mate, OK? Mate?

Er... Are you OK mate?