The grumpy thread

[Captain Furious]

It seems as though we are gripped in a tailgating epidemic, the standard following distance would appear to have been amended from "2 seconds" to half a cars length.  However the most annoying (I find) aren't the aggressive tailgaters, they're pretty easy to get away from, its the passive type, you know the ones who don't really have any idea they're driving way too close, that's just how they drive.  *No sexist disclaimer* but its mostly women, too.

 

Like, you will be stuck in slow moving traffic and they have to be so close you can't even see their lights, as soon as you move off they're immediately right up behind you again, as though their car is attached to yours by an invisible, extremely short, tow rope.

 

I find them every bit as irritating as social 'space invaders' who are up in your personal space when talking to you, or standing too close behind you in a queue. 

[Lankytim]

MO, which firm are you working for? Is it CEVL?

[Urko]

It should be the law that if you're a walking lobotomy who can't control your testosterone you shouldn't be behind the wheel of a ...

I have managed to curb my worst excesses thank goodness, but just occasionally, the 100th time some dickwad does something dangerous or agressive, the red mist descends - I know it's pointless and I regret it later but sometimes it's just the straw that breaks the camels back. With that said, Mr ALDI was bang out of order, and an illustration of why I need to remain calm. In spite of being 6'5" and overweight, I am utter weed at fighting, and in any case wouldn't want to be brawling at my age.

 

It is bloody annoying that people pull stuff in a car that they wouldn't do in the queue at the Post Office though.

[Urko]

It seems as though we are gripped in a tailgating epidemic, the standard following distance would appear to have been amended from "2 seconds" to half a cars length.  However the most annoying (I find) aren't the aggressive tailgaters, they're pretty easy to get away from, its the passive type, you know the ones who don't really have any idea they're driving way too close, that's just how they drive.  *No sexist disclaimer* but its mostly women, too.

 

Like, you will be stuck in slow moving traffic and they have to be so close you can't even see their lights, as soon as you move off they're immediately right up behind you again, as though their car is attached to yours by an invisible, extremely short, tow rope.

 

I find them every bit as irritating as social 'space invaders' who are up in your personal space when talking to you, or standing too close behind you in a queue.

 

Totally agree with this.

[JohnDeere]

Two tricks to deal with tailgaters:

 

(1) Slow down. This is actually important, as if someone's up your arse you need a lot more reaction time and stopping distance in front. 

(2) Left foot tapped gently on the brake pedal a few times will usually see a bit more distance opening up.

 

Then relax about it and don't get het up. They'll eventually zoom past and out of your way.

[Lord Sterling]

MO, which firm are you working for? Is it CEVL?

Nope, a Northern based firm called "V-M0V€$"

 

I've met platers from different firms. Most platers seem rather content with what they do.

[Urko]

Think the point Captain Furious was making was that "good" tailgaters will zoom past (and apart from their tailgating and the bloke who showered me with stones from the top dressing, fair play to 'em) whereas the ones who are just crap drivers will drive up your exhaust for miles and never take any opportunity to overtake as they just drive everywhere 2ft from the car in front at all times without giving it any thought.

[Captain Furious]

Used to wind me up when I worked in the city centre, now my journey is mostly motorway and its fairly easy to avoid\get away from people with 3 lanes. I'm gradually training myself to stay cool and back off\change lanes whatever to lose them instead of drawing alongside and giving them the death stare.

 

I'm also less bothered about them now I have my 'reversing gauge' fitted.

 

Hopefully one day tailgaters and 'crash for cashers' will cancel each other out, its a marriage made in heaven when you think about it.

[fordperv]

Some twat has hit the corner of the back bumper of mrs fp's dad's dacia duster on tesco and done the stereotypical thing of not leaving a note and just buggering off, twats

[Negative Creep]

The charming woman down the street, who not only has the looks and body mass of a hippo, but the temperament too. Got woken up this morning by her screaming down the street at her 4-5 year old child DON'T YOU EFFING BACKCHAT ME AGAIN YOU LITTLE C*NT OR I'LL EFFING SMACK THE SH*T OUT OF YOU


Sometimes I really wonder if you should need a licence before you can breed.

[wuvvum]

I managed to twat the kerb with the back wheel of the Saab on the way into work today, whilst squeezing past a lorry.  It's blown the back tyre out.  Fucksticks.  So after a shit day at work I've got to change the wheel at the side of the road before I can go home.  I did test the wheelnuts before I left the car and I managed to crack them off with the car's wheelbrace, so I suppose I should be thankful for the small mercy that they hadn't been torqued up to 300 lb/ft by some Kwik Fit gibbon.  I've also now got to fork out for a tyre, which I could've done without.

[xtriple]

Some people round here LOVE tailgating.... they usually drive fuck off great Range Rovers or Audis/BMWs and I hate them. They never do it to the Bentley (strangely!) but the poor little Mazda is a magnet for the fuckers. I pull over and let them pass. I prefer to feel safe (and the Mazda is not the safest car in the world to be clouted in by something the size of a small moon) and pulling over and letting them go by and then driving normally behind them with a gap seems to confuse the daylights out of them.

[Cleon-Fonte]

I do a 'fake' brake test with the rear foglights when people are tailgating, but your Sirion probably has a single separate foglight in the bumper

 

Luckily they're integrated with the rear light clusters, and capable of scorching human retinas from half a mile away. A few times I've had some total mong virtually touching my rear bumper, then with one flick of the switch they disappear into the distance while pulling a face much like this:

 

 

I have managed to curb my worst excesses thank goodness, but just occasionally, the 100th time some dickwad does something dangerous or agressive, the red mist descends - I know it's pointless and I regret it later but sometimes it's just the straw that breaks the camels back. With that said, Mr ALDI was bang out of order, and an illustration of why I need to remain calm. In spite of being 6'5" and overweight, I am utter weed at fighting, and in any case wouldn't want to be brawling at my age.

 

It is bloody annoying that people pull stuff in a car that they wouldn't do in the queue at the Post Office though.

 

It would have been understandable, if not excusable, for him to react that way if I'd been the one behaving like a dickhead in the first place. But then he was the one who blocked my reasonable overtake, aggressively tailgated and nearly went into the back of me several times whilst I committed the immensely dangerous act of slowing down for the traffic in front. He was also the one punching the shit out of his own steering wheel and virtually tearing off his indicator stalk in his quest to flash his full beams as many times as possible. For several miles.

 

The only way I could be construed to have made the situation worse is the aforementioned brake test.

 

I decided calm silence was the best way to go as not only made him angrier, but it also made him seem more unreasonable. So a double win.

[jakebullet]

I has strawberry plant doom. Couple of weeks back I'm taking Kinky girl out, and we spot a sign: strawberry plants 50p. Do you want some Kinky? Nah, not today. Friday night she says get me some of those strawberry plants will you?

 

Went back yesterday, and the sign at the entrance says open Monday to Friday. Arse.

Went back today, gate is open, drives in and there's a further sign that says "closed. open 11am to 3pm". Double arse.

 

Yes, I did look over the fence and they do still have said plants. I'm expecting tomorrow to find they're now £4 each like every other robbing bastard garden centre.

[scaryoldcortina]

Oh, now I'm really really pissed off.

 

I taxed the MGTF yesterday because it's sunny and the laguna needs work. I was on my way to the dentists this afternoon when.....

 

 

 

someone drove into the back of the car!

 

I was turning right at a very new roundabout which has been installed replacing a single side road off a NSL single carriageway A road. The car behind me failed to avoid the back of the MG, and then also failed to stop and exchange details. I didn't even get the reg and by the time I'd done a full circuit of the roundabout to give chase the bugger was long gone. Happened (I think) because he was too close and not expecting me to slow and swing to the right.

 

It is very annoying mainly because of the hit and run, but also because of the damage to the car and also because if they hadn't put the damn roundabout in it wouldn't have happened! I'd have left the lane of traffic entirely and sat waiting in the marked box to turn right. What was wrong with that? No-one tried to turn right out of that entrance anyway because there is another exit from the village that already has a roundabout further down the road.

 

Only bright spots - I got a damn good look at him, and he was driving a scenic RX4 which isn't exactly a common car. The police say there is some CCTV on the road that might have captured his registration. The MG isn't badly damaged either. Worst part is that the exhaust is now hitting something.

[wuvvum]

Now sat waiting for the AA to come and help me change a wheel, for the first time ever. Got the car jacked up and the wheel bolts out no problem, but the fucking alloy is proper welded to the hub. Tried putting the bolts back in a couple of threads and driving around the block, even bumped it up and down a couple of kerbs as hard as I dared without risking damaging the rim. The fucking thing won't budge.

[Parky]

BMW X5 driving at 20mph on a clear stretch of the A13. No problem thinks I and pulls to the clear lane to pass him.

 

Whereupon he gets confused about lane markings and thinks he needs to aim for the middle of the White line. I can't pass on the left or right, he maintains a steady 20. Gradually drifts into the outside lane.....

 

So I swing onto the inside lane, get alongside him before his indicator flicks on and he starts moving over on me. One panic brake application and he missed me by an inch.

 

Now utterly fucked off I backed back, noted his plate and waited until he steadied himself in a lane. Yes, he's in this lane. Two cars go past incident free, right, my turn...

 

Any guesses for what the twat did next? Anyone?

 

This continued until we got to a red light which he just sailed though, oblivious to the traffic he just missed. I hope the cameras were switched on and he gets a fiscal reward for his driving efforts.

[cobblers]

When you see shit like that it's probably worth ringing 101 and reporting them as probably pissed or something.

[Lord Sterling]

What a day

 

Started with dropping off BIG BAD MERCEDEZ TESCO VAN off to Hartlebury, checked job off and consulted works phone to see if any follow-on jobs were sent to me. Nope, absolutely zilch. Phoned up office to find out what was going on. Seemingly someone had forgotten to send me any jobs, so I spent an hour waiting in a deserted train station in the middle of the sticks.

 

After a bit of to-ing and fro-ing I seemingly had a job waiting for me in Hereford to Cannock. Got to Hereford (eventually) and picked up car. Was done by 1pm but because of the middle-men we have to deal with in some of the jobs, the middle-man company couldn't let me take the car off site without a release code. They could only let me take car once they'd received my report on the car which for some unknown reason took no less 45 minutes. Finally got code and off I went.

 

Journey took no less than nearly 2 hours due to various roadworks/over cautious drivers/trucks and 50mph roadworks.

 

Upon arriving in Cannock I had another in Lichfield to pick up. But due to busses taking more than an hour to get there I simply couldn't have reached my second car as the middle-men company closes their phones at 5:15pm.

 

So now I'm residing in a hotel in Tamworth.

 

Wouldn't mind if I was far from home.

[chaseracer]

Why didn't you call, Mo?  A lift to Lich would've been no problem...

[Lord Sterling]

Why didn't you call, Mo?  A lift to Lich would've been no problem...

I did think of that, but what with rush hour traffic building I thought it might have been in vain.

 

I still need to get to Lichfield tomorrow morning if you or Tamworthbay are around....

[hairnet]

When you see shit like that it's probably worth ringing 101 and reporting them as probably pissed or something.

id have been ringing them on 101 as id sat behind him - get wagons doing that and it pisses me off

[Parky]

To be honest I was too busy shouting obscenities (both existing and made up) and not thinking clearly enough as I was sooooooo pissed off with him.

 

I have seen it before, I park near it most days so if I see him again I will ask if he was deliberately swerving attempting to cause me physical harm or if he was preoccupied with his phone and thus not in control of his vehicle.

 

It's times like that I wished I had a dash cam although I couldn't have submitted it to the Police as the excessively loud use of words such as "stupid motherfucker", "Tiny cocked badger molester" and "fuck me did Nico Rosberg teach you drive" might not have sounded good if it went for a prosecution....

[twosmoke300]

Just watched a few of his videos and yes , he is dick but he also speaks a lot of truth . Esp about 1.8t 20v engines

[michael1703]

id have been ringing them on 101 as id sat behind him - get wagons doing that and it pisses me off

And end up getting done for using a phone whilst driving

 

That's the way it works

[gordonbennet]

Oh, now I'm really really pissed off.

 

I taxed the MGTF yesterday because it's sunny and the laguna needs work. I was on my way to the dentists this afternoon when.....

 

 

 

someone drove into the back of the car!

 

I was turning right at a very new roundabout which has been installed replacing a single side road off a NSL single carriageway A road. The car behind me failed to avoid the back of the MG, and then also failed to stop and exchange details. I didn't even get the reg and by the time I'd done a full circuit of the roundabout to give chase the bugger was long gone. Happened (I think) because he was too close and not expecting me to slow and swing to the right.

 

It is very annoying mainly because of the hit and run, but also because of the damage to the car and also because if they hadn't put the damn roundabout in it wouldn't have happened! I'd have left the lane of traffic entirely and sat waiting in the marked box to turn right. What was wrong with that? No-one tried to turn right out of that entrance anyway because there is another exit from the village that already has a roundabout further down the road.

 

Only bright spots - I got a damn good look at him, and he was driving a scenic RX4 which isn't exactly a common car. The police say there is some CCTV on the road that might have captured his registration. The MG isn't badly damaged either. Worst part is that the exhaust is now hitting something.

 

Best of luck getting any actual useful action whatsoever from plod.

 

About three weeks ago, my mate hears a crash outside his house about 6am, he's already up and about, looks out there's a most unusual colour Tigra reversing off mate's son's now smashed up old Civic (bloody nice one too), Tigra roars off down the road.

Mate lives in large village, goes outside and tries to give chase, course the twats long gone.

However mate has lived there all his life so know where the likely culprits, if local would be found, so drives around the likely area and sure enough 5 mins later finds said Tigra driven up tight to some garages and some bins put round it.

Stops, gets out goes to look at smashed up still warm Tigra....nearnderthal comes out blustering about going home to get his insurance...choice words exchanged.

Mate rings plod...has the other driver been drinking...mate not being a walking breath or blood chemist hasn't a clue...result plod couldn't give a tuppeny fuck and refused to attend, they did however give him an incident number.

 

Waste of space.

 

Result being mate's son is now using a credit hire accident weasel, matey's insurance contacted later in the week..can we offer you a courtesy car whilst we repair yours...too late mate already sorted via claimsRus...

 

I've already voiced my reservations about going down the credit hire route to my mate, cos the twat involved might counter claim anything and with plod being unfit for purpose so no official report worth more than wiping your arse on its likely going to be one word against another if Tigra twat lies through his teeth, which he will.

 

When did leaving the scene of an accident become acceptable to what used to be known as the police.

[scaryoldcortina]

Oh, I'm not expecting much help from them. Lets face it, when they turn up this evening (a full 16 hours after the fact, if they arrive when they say they will) I'll get a crime reference number and nothing else. I reported it only so that it was reported if you know what I mean. I won't be trying to claim on my own insurance either!

[Lord Sterling]

​

Sorry mate, I'm not Belgian. I haven't seen any of my fellow countrymen here yet, thank goodness.

Ah cool, so where are you from/based then if you don't mind me asking?

[UmBongo]

My window washers aren't working. It looks like a leak from the bottle may have shorted out the motor.

 

No noise from pump or motor when in operation.

 

Fecking fecksticks, they're like rocking horse shoite, so they are.

[Captain Furious]

RE the Police being worth less than fuck all in the case of motoring related incidents

 

Tell them you and a 'few' mates are going round to collect payment and you just wanted to keep them in the loop, see how suddenly interested they become then.