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Posted

Will this mystery person notice if I put Vauxhall badges on the Xantia to pass it off as a Corsa do you think?  It's a lot* like a Corsa.  Well, it has a lifting tailgate.

  • Like 2
Posted

Fuck the tailgate, does it like veg?

Posted

I cooked some sausages that had some little white bits on that might have been worms/maggots

 

Fairly sure I'm not ill, but I think the thought of being ill is making me ill

Posted

It runs on all kinds of veg.  Reversing with the windows open makes me hungry so I avoid reversing unless I've got food.

  • Like 4
Posted

I cooked some sausages that had some little white bits on that might have been worms/maggots

 

Fairly sure I'm not ill, but I think the thought of being ill is making me ill

Sweaty mold is that - may give you the tommy tits but wont kill you

Posted

Fed up of being in Portugal now.

 

Trying to order a white coffee or get a proper cup of tea is like asking for the world! Then tonight I ordered burger and chips......of course a burger and some crisps arrives (chips are a packet of crisps here)

 

I want to get home and attend to my Rovers!!

No good ever comes of being in that there abroad. They know full well what chips are, just taking the piss....

Posted

Fed up of being in Portugal now.

 

Trying to order a white coffee or get a proper cup of tea is like asking for the world! Then tonight I ordered burger and chips......of course a burger and some crisps arrives (chips are a packet of crisps here)

 

I want to get home and attend to my Rovers!!

 

You are George Cole as Henry Root AICMFP.

 

rootitaly48.jpg

http://www.imcdb.org/movie_103527-Root-Into-Europe.html

  • Like 2
Posted

Fed up of being in Portugal now.

 

Trying to order a white coffee or get a proper cup of tea is like asking for the world! Then tonight I ordered burger and chips......of course a burger and some crisps arrives (chips are a packet of crisps here)

 

I want to get home and attend to my Rovers!!

 

Other countries in DIFFERENT TO BRITAIN SHOCKER.

  • Like 8
Posted

What do they call chip chips in Portugal then? (here is where a witty word that I can't thing of would go)

Posted

I am 30 and I like Radio 2... however "How many people should you have in your household, before you need a dishwasher?" I switch to KCFM the local old-ish station "My dad says you can't have baked beans with fish and chips... do you like baked beans with fish and chips?"

 

My new favourite station is the one provided by the off button.

Posted

Radio 2 is a bit rubbish lately.  Some good music scattered sparingly amidst a lot of absolute tosh.  When Jeremy Vine comes on it takes all my effort to press the off button and not hurl the radio through the window.

Posted

Fed up of being in Portugal now.

 

Trying to order a white coffee or get a proper cup of tea is like asking for the world! Then tonight I ordered burger and chips......of course a burger and some crisps arrives (chips are a packet of crisps here)

 

I want to get home and attend to my Rovers!!

 

You need to buy a car while you are there!

 

post-17481-0-78783800-1437145531_thumb.png

post-17481-0-61931200-1437145662_thumb.png

post-17481-0-56393000-1437145619_thumb.png

http://www.custojusto.pt/viseu/ligeiros-passageiros/renault-clio-1-6-caixa-auto-16844371

  • Like 1
Posted

What do they call chip chips in Portugal then? (here is where a witty word that I can't thing of would go)

You got to speak loud:

 

Oi........GARCON MATEY............I WANT SOME FOOKI EL CHIPOSSES COMPRENDEE?

 

Then mutter 'foreign cunt' loudly. This will guarantee top class service in whichever country you visit...........and if not we will send a gunboat

Posted

So, I'm on my third local* bike shop now, trying to find a decent one for odd jobs I can't do myself yet.

 

Go in on Thursday, come back Saturday, we're busy.

Saturday they take the bike, new cables and chain please. That'll be ~ £45 parts and labour, fine I think. 

Called me today - cables are done, the cassette was worn so they've replaced that as well as the chain, and serviced it too. £72 please

 

FRO! Didn't want or need a service as I was building the bike and I've basically just done it myself, didn't ask for a new cassette (bike shops refuse to chain replacement without it more often than not), why can't they just do as they were asked?

Seems I'm gonna have a 'fun' day tomorrow.

 

 

 

 

*not local as I keep having to go further afield

Posted

Mrs_the_cat was nearly wiped out this afternoon by an overtaking BMW, just as she was turning into our driveway :-(

Fortunately she checked he mirrors before she committed to the turn, so was able to stop in time. Still a bit shaken though.

 

 

If you listen you can hear how long she's indicating for, and I checked they were working once she got back! She'd just dropped me off at the garage to collect the Stellar post-MOT, so if she had been hit I'd have felt responsible.

  • Like 2
Posted

Been there myself mate, I was indicating right to pull into the garage, couldn't go as there was a car going the oppo way. I start to turn and nearly get hit by a young twat who decided it would be good to overtake me and the bus in front of me. I just saw him in time. 

Posted

I just had to reinstate our shitey old Gaffa taped up wifi router as it seems the new shiny bt home hub is total shite. It was curtailing my browsing of shitty old cars so something has to be done !

Posted

So, I'm on my third local* bike shop now, trying to find a decent one for odd jobs I can't do myself yet.

 

Go in on Thursday, come back Saturday, we're busy.

Saturday they take the bike, new cables and chain please. That'll be ~ £45 parts and labour, fine I think. 

Called me today - cables are done, the cassette was worn so they've replaced that as well as the chain, and serviced it too. £72 please

 

FRO! Didn't want or need a service as I was building the bike and I've basically just done it myself, didn't ask for a new cassette (bike shops refuse to chain replacement without it more often than not), why can't they just do as they were asked?

Seems I'm gonna have a 'fun' day tomorrow.

 

 

 

 

*not local as I keep having to go further afield

 

 

If you can be arsed travelling a little, there's a couple of very good shops in Chester worth using.

Posted

Other countries in DIFFERENT TO BRITAIN SHOCKER.

 

I should have mentioned I was stuck out there working, not holidaying! Of course some aspects are different to Britain, no bad thing at all. Except I do get grumpy when I can't get a simple cuppa tea. First world grumps n all that!

 

Now back to R75 bothering  :-D

Posted

Mrs_the_cat was nearly wiped out this afternoon by an overtaking BMW, just as she was turning into our driveway :-(

Fortunately she checked he mirrors before she committed to the turn, so was able to stop in time. Still a bit shaken though.

 

Fucking Beemer drivers - total Arse biscuits

Posted

^ Thanks for that.  Other pointless generalisations are available.

 

Mrs_the_cat was nearly wiped out this afternoon by an overtaking BMW, just as she was turning into our driveway :-(

Fortunately she checked he mirrors before she committed to the turn, so was able to stop in time. Still a bit shaken though.

 

 

If you listen you can hear how long she's indicating for, and I checked they were working once she got back! She'd just dropped me off at the garage to collect the Stellar post-MOT, so if she had been hit I'd have felt responsible.

 

Not to mention the two lots of 'slow' signs in the road and the hazard lines the twat was ignoring.  Nasty - would have been a hard smack too (though worse for the people in the BMW).

  • Like 3
Posted

Skiz just reading your list of motors there mate, when are you going to do a raffle? The winner gets to come and sit in them all and pick one?

  • Like 2
Posted

I'm feeling more fat fuck by the day, so decided to cut out the sugary treats. Went to tesco for the clearance fruit n veg I'm going to torture myself with instead.

 

Came out with a fuck off sized raspberry trifle. 30p. I'll start tomorrow. Maybe.

  • Like 17
Posted

I've got a winge about food as well.

Yoghurt, ooh, fat free so it's healthy, like fuck is it. Look at the contents on it and most of them have around 15g of sugar in, even the so called "diet" type yoghurt. I don't care about fat free, it's made from milk, so it'd be low fat anyway, but how about low sugar for diabetic types.

  • Like 2
Posted

I've been feeling 'rubbish' the last few days/week and my health is really starting to get me down - it's hard to be cheerful when you can barely stand to be in your own body! No amount of opiates is doing the job and walking is becoming a problem again. I'm obviously 'run down' ( or should be :)  ) as I have acquired an abscess under my front tooth where a puppy head butted me. The tooth is a bit loose and my face is swollen from my lip up under my nose and having had these bloody things before, I know how painful they are.

 

I can barely feel it!

 

See, opiates DO work :)

Posted

Standing in a queue at the local 'offy. I had this sudden urge to shit....

 

Clenching my buttocks as hard as I could managed to buy my stuff, and minced out the shop Louie Spence style much to the amusement of some skool kidz standing outside. 

 

Got in the car, and brain started sending me ''URGENT'' messages along with my bowels which for some reason had gone into hyperdrive and my winkle was having great difficulty holding back the tirade.

Got home, and minced out the car. Trouble is brain saw house, and sent message to poo workers - ''Home its ok guys open the valves''

 

NO ITS NOT FUCKING OK YET

 

dropped shopping in porch, walked like fucking Robocop with piles as fast as I could to the latrine, and what followed can not be written

assplosion is all I can say.... Fuck me sideways and call me petunia........Where and why the fuck that happened I know not

  • Like 4
Posted

Jules Bianchi, formula 1 driver died this morning

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