The grumpy thread

[M'coli]

Veganism.

 

Pandas

Dolphins.

All are utterly, totally, irrefutably pointless... and smug in the case of the latter and I can't stand smug animals.

 

I did once post on Faceache about my dreams to someday enjoy a tuna-friendly dolphin-mayonnaise sandwich, but no-one seemed to understand it...

 

Of course Dolphins are smug - most of them are able to swim fast in the open sea, have sex for fun, commmunicate by ultrasound and clicking language (Halo Jones FTW!!) but they don't have opposable thumbs so couldn't hold a drift while hammering a kingpin out of a Imp steering joint, so don't sweat it, ok?

[cobblers]

If you're not arsed for ABS or an airbag you can just make a little circuit with a 555 timer for about £4 which will make the lights work as they should.

[ruffgeezer]

I could but driving a xantia with faulty abs is not sensible, and I work at the garage that does my mots, so that isn't really viable

 

Edit:

 

At work I do get privvy to some fundamentally pointless tasks; at some point many years ago, this engine was removed because it was knackered, it was then moved a fair distance to our engine storage facility, where it has lived for probably 20 odd years, today we removed it to fill the space with other similarly knackered engines from modern cars...

 

Its a 1.6 from an early sierra we think...

 

 

Good working order then?

[DSdriver]

I have just got the late fatherDSdrivers 08 reg car out of the garage and taken it round to my mate with a bodyshop so it can be tonsed up for selling. The only undamaged panel is the roof. It has only done 6000 miles and has already had one side done before. Needs a new front wing, the rest is repairable. How can anyone do so much damage to a car in so few miles?

[Craig the Princess]

The vehicle details for C208 UPM are:

Date of Liability 01 06 1999

Date of First Registration 17 06 1986

Year of Manufacture 1986

Cylinder Capacity (cc) 1596cc

CO2 Emissions Not Available

Fuel Type PETROL

Export Marker N

Vehicle Status Unlicensed

Vehicle Colour BLUE

Vehicle Type Approval Not Available

 

Cubed or tucked up in a garage?

[Station]

My pa told me about a car he spotted, so today came home to see a Rover 25 GTi going that was going for 300 quid - but it turns out it's a gold covered 1.4 25 with a GTi badge stuck on the boot with the usual giffer panel knocks and the 80 year old bloke wants 500 quid for it now.

[Station]

I did that with a paving slab 30 years ago. Not something I'd choose to repeat! I feel your pain, Tim.

 

I dropped a Marshall speaker cabinet on my cock, beat that (I couldn't for weeks).

[eddyramrod]

Not even going to try!

 

In fact, let's talk about something else. Hooper was on telly last night... then around 11pm local time we had an earthquake, 3.9-ish.

[pompei]

^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^

 

How??

[Tayne]

Hooper must be a really good show to have that effect.

[vulgalour]

People who say/post/sell wing mirrors when they mean door mirrors.

[warren t claim]

It's my fucking birthday in an hour and a half.

[Parky]

I am one day behind you Warren, and I feel much the same....

[eddyramrod]

Happy Birthday chaps!

[warren t claim]

No. Another year older is nothing to celebrate. I'm currently sitting here with a bottle or two of Merlot desperately searching for something on Youtube to amuse me.

[Lord Sterling]

No. Another year older is nothing to celebrate.

 

+1

 

Its mine at the end of this month, another year nearer 30 and another day pondering over the acheivements I never acheived and the number of failures I managed to fail.

 

Brill.

[autofive]

No. Another year older is nothing to celebrate. I'm currently sitting here with a bottle or two of Merlot desperately searching for something on Youtube to amuse me.

 

happy birthdays.....

 

forget utube, try liveleak

[warren t claim]

I'd be happy with being 30 again....

[eddyramrod]

I beg to differ. I see it as an achievement. Something to be proud of. You've survived this long, another day should be easy, right? I'm 53 next month, maybe it's easy for me to say that....

[warren t claim]

Living to see 30 was an achievement due to the lifestyle I used to have.

[M'coli]

Snap out of it, birthday denyers - there's only one thing wosre than reaching your next birthday - that's not reaching it. You've got there - but there are plenty who haven't but would want to.

[sporty-shite]

Snap out of it, birthday denyers - there's only one thing wosre than reaching your next birthday - that's not reaching it. You've got there - but there are plenty who haven't but would want to.

 

Well said, that man.

[eddyramrod]

I've said for many years that one's birthday is the only day of the year it should be compulsory to have a day off. OK, I know some people enjoy their work, but why should you have to drag yourself out of bed at some unearthly hour and deal with all the shit you have to deal with, on your special day? And special it is. How many of your workmates share it? Yet you all get Christmas Day, don't you? (Most places, anyway; I know there are exceptions, I've done it.) If everyone had their birthday off that wouldn't hurt the country at all, as the downtime would be staggered. If your birthday falls on an off-duty day, ok, you can take the next workday. Still no problem.

So you get the day to yourself, to laze in bed until 12 if you want, or leap out and go paragliding, or weld that sill, or watch all the Star Wars movies in one go, or... or... whatever you like, it's your day!

 

Well that's the way I look at it anyway, a day that's still worth celebrating even if you stop putting a number on it.

[vulgalour]

Every year older is a year closer to being a real grumpy old man, with a supercharged motability scooter and a hidden tazer/cattleprod and scant regard for being a responsible member of society.

[maxpower]

just my luck!! after 18mths away the ice cream van starts to come around now that he had a tip off i was doing the estate

 

his heavies waiting on corners and sitting in cars watching me.... think it's time the baseball bat and the squeezy jif lemon with battery acid came out of retirement.

 

i have had a word with him that his 55 plate van costs 3 times what i paid for mine... should he pay someone to do my windows

[ashmicro]

ummm, tell the police? Dunno if GB has anti-racketeering legislation*, but here in NI the Plod and the Courts take a VERY dim view of this sort of thing, and routinely bang people up for 5 years.

 

 

 

 

 

*introduced mainly due to paramilitary intimidation of small businesses, but covers situations like yours.

 

 

 

BTW, happy birthday folks. Reaching another birthday is a good thing indeed as others have said. It was 3 years ago today that I found my mate Darren lying dead in his flat. He was 28.

[Cavcraft]

Happy birthday gents and if you want something to be pissed off about you can have my hangover.

[Tonka]

Ebay messers yet again, Acclaim fetched reserve Friday, seller didn't want to buy so Ebay involved, got fees back and relisted it cheaper, no reserve, guy bids woohoo then retracts it this morning saying it was his kids messing on PC..................... Where have all the genuine buyers gone?

[Cavcraft]

Ebay messers yet again, Acclaim fetched reserve Friday, seller didn't want to buy so Ebay involved, got fees back and relisted it cheaper, no reserve, guy bids woohoo then retracts it this morning saying it was his kids messing on PC..................... Where have all the genuine buyers gone?

 

Don't get me started on eBay, shower of shit these days mostly. It's a struggle to even get your fees back when dickheads suddenly change their minds, I swear they (eBay) make it as difficult as possible to put people off from trying to get their fvfs back.

Giving it one more go with my daughter's Nintendo DS thing and might stick a couple more items on there and if it's still full of wankers I might shut my account.

I got some spare wheels for my lad's car the other day from eBay. I started smelling a rat when the seller kept asking how long I was going to be collecting them on Friday despite him saying he'd be in all afternoon.

One of the tyres was bald and when I came to get them out of the boot yesterday one of them was flat with a small screw I hadn't spotted in the tread, so he'd obvioulsy asked where I was so he could blow it up before I got there.

To be fair though 1) I could have rejected them when I saw the bald one and 2) he's offered me my money back.

[Guest]

HA! Ebay is a right PITA, but I've made a nice sideline off selling stuff recently. The best was a Tamiya kit I picked up from the RR Autojumble for £30 that I punted on for £150. That one brought some right saddos out of the woodwork.

 

1. At the moment I'm just getting Sunday mitherers (see point 2 for a variation on this theme). I'm selling my spare 123GT rev counter because they're worth a bit of coin and I'm rather skinted. Stated that I won't post to Italy because I've had no end of shit posting things there - the worst was an old NAD amp that fucking Sergio Thieving Cumsponge said he hadn't received when he blatantly had. Despite providing tracking and insurance numbers I got rinsed for £80 because Paypal took the money out of my account. It's happened on more than one occasion and I was so incensed after the way I was treated I closed my original account in protest after sending their Customer Service team three or four incredibly shitty letters. I was incredibly hard up at the time and losing £80 and effectively being branded a thief was more than a bit insulting. I hope he fucking enjoyed that amp, right up until the point the transformer shorted out and blew him across the room. No one needs to listen to that much Zucchero.

 

Clincher of the story : Despite stating I won't post to Italy, some mong has messaged me with 'Will you post to Italy? Why won't you post to Italy?'

 

How about fuck off?

 

2. Do people not understand the meaning of the words 'Fuck off, I need to edit?'

 

I got a podcast dumped on me to edit, which is this unwieldy 56 minute twatbeast of a thing. It's already a day late because I did it as a favour at the last minute and spent most of Friday night taking out the 'erms' and 'erm that thing'. I've cleared this afternoon so I can finish it off (I lost the will to live after getting 35 minutes in) and am getting constantly mithered by all and sundry. I've already had the podcast bloke whinging on the phone asking where it is - which I thought was more than a bit cheeky considering he doesn't want to edit it.

 

'Can you just help me with this?'

'No, I need to edit this podcast. I told you I need to edit this podcast and not to mither me.'

 

'But I need help with this, it'll only take two minutes. Why won't you help me? I need help with this. Can you run and get this for me?'

'What the fuck did I just say? I have to edit this podcast'.

 

Tell you what, if I have much more of this I'm taking my laptop to the unit with my cans and turning my phone off until it's sorted.