The grumpy thread

[FakeConcern]

If we're talking about cats, ok, we had a couple of lovely black ones. Noodles would leave the bottom half of a squirrel in my daughter's bedroom on a regular basis. He also let a live rat go in the dining room that then got in the back of the wood burning stove so no one could catch it & I had to kill it with a stick. the other one, Pixie, managed to bring in and let go a live magpie (I don't know how it fitted through the catflap, have you seen how big they are up close?) the whole room was covered in shit by the time we got the french windows open & shooed it out.

We haven't had cats since they both got run over (don't know how as our road is as quiet as fuck) one of them for bonus points on our daughter's 10th birthday) but would like some again sometime soon.

[Louise2cv]

My one has shat on my pillow more than once.

 

I guess the feeling is mutual then.

[Guest Hooli]

Shops.

 

More precisely shops that when you go to buy casual shirts in winter have removed almost all of the winter stock & only have five billion crap t-shirts on offer. FFS, it's February you fuckwitted cunts.

[alcyonecorporation]

My occasionally live in landlord had a cat she got in Kuwait, called Zbebe.

 

Zbebe was weird, even by cat standards.

 

Zbebe would miaow in 4/4, to everyone's bemusement.

 

Zbebe had that withering cat stare down to perfection.

 

Zbebe once did a geet big shit in my bed under the quilt so it was masked until I climbed into thine pit.

 

The next day Zbebe didst vom upon my shoes when I was late for work.

 

Occasionally Zbebe would miaow as if she was saying, "Hello" but what that actually meant was: 'sick'.

[DodgeRover]

I don't understand why you would share a house with a cat unless it was for vermin control.

 

I'm a dog person but if it shat on my pillow or in my bed it would be living outside.

[alcyonecorporation]

  On 27/02/2018 at 23:18, DodgeRover said:

I don't understand why you would share a house with a cat unless it was for vermin control.

 

I'm a dog person but if it shat on my pillow or in my bed it would be living outside.

The cat came with the house.

[DodgeRover]

Time for a new house?

[Guest Hooli]

I hope that got you a discount.

[alcyonecorporation]

The rent is cheap and the cat is dead now

[DodgeRover]

Liked for the cheap rent. Not deceased cat

[UmBongo]

  On 27/02/2018 at 22:25, mk2_craig said:

Aye our cat is a right wanker.

 

[brandersnatch]

 

 

One’s too many, ten’s not enough!

[cros]

I finished work at 9 last night and walking back to the house was bloody cold. It is beyond belief that people are sleeping rough in this. In London this morning wealthy folks who have the power to sort the problem will simply walk past and get on with the business of filling their already bulging pockets. Scum.

[Jim Bell]

Can someone explain why cats are allowed to do what ever they want? If our dog shits somewhere in public, Im legally obliged to pick it up and dispose of it like a nice polite considerate human being. If my dog attacked someone, or another dog, or probably a cat, itd probably get put down. If my dog was found wondering the streets it would be taken away by the warden and locked up. Next doors cat shits exclusively in our back garden, right in front of the patio doors so it can wind our dog up while its doing it. Next doors cat attacks other cats, other dogs and famously children. It went for me once but thinks twice now after getting a booting. The 'owner' is really nice and often says 'eee I know shes terrible, what can you do?'.

Well I could lay poison for it or shoot it with a crossbow bolt while its having a shit but that seems a bit excessive. I dont get why cat owners seemingly have no responsibility for the actions of their cats, while dog owners are demonised and fined for the actions of theirs.

[Mally]

Cats are in control of everything, thus above laws of the land.

Ours is barred from the bedroom though.

[Parky]

I think mainly because Cats bury their poo so the risk of transmission of disease is substantially less compared with dogs. Also even the most badly behaved cat has never (to my knowledge) mauled young children to death.

 

Most of them just like to wander about and look at stuff while sitting on a fence or a shed. They know something...

[artdjones]

They have different status under the law.Cats are classed as being ferae naturae or having a wild nature, therefore you can't be held responsible for what they do.Dogs don't,so you can.

[Jim Bell]

Cats bury their poo?

 

Objection! Demonstrably untrue. Some cats may bury some poo but its certainly not the norm. Not around here anyway.

 

Fair enough about the mauling. They dont kill children so let them get on with it. Seems like a evenhanded response to anti social behavior.

[Kiltox]

Insert post about how snow stops the south east and it’s ridiculous here

[Jim Bell]

  On 28/02/2018 at 08:40, artdjones said:

They have different status under the law.Cats are classed as being ferae naturae or having a wild nature, therefore you can't be held responsible for what they do.Dogs don't,so you can.

So they have the legal protection of a domesticated pet and a wild animal. Everythings coming up Milhouse for cats!

All the rights with none of the responsibility. Explains why they think they own everything.

[somewhatfoolish]

  On 28/02/2018 at 08:31, WilsonWilson said:

Well I could lay poison for it or shoot it with a crossbow bolt while its having a shit but that seems a bit excessive. I dont get why cat owners seemingly have no responsibility for the actions of their cats, while dog owners are demonised and fined for the actions of theirs.

Squirt the evil furball with a supersoaker whenever you see it start to squat down in the garden; Pavlov works on cats too.

[Jim Bell]

By the time I get the the back door its finished and away over the fence man. Its got enough sense to not hang about. But not enough to shit somewhere else. Like one of its three litter boxes or its own garden.

[oldcars]

As the schools are off becasue of MASSIVE SNOW, 1 cm at most, i needed to get the wee lads wellies out of the rover. Boot opened but now won't fecking lock. The 75 is a lovely car, but in the winter its hopeless. Any ideas how i can lock the boot please? Ideas other that unleaded + swan vestas please.

[Jim Bell]

Put a squirt of gun oil in your locks at the begining of winter helps. No use now though, sorry.

[MorrisItalSLX]

 

+

 

 

Works for my Hyundai garden ornament

[GrumpiusMaximus]

  On 28/02/2018 at 08:51, shumarialto said:

As the schools are off becasue of MASSIVE SNOW, 1 cm at most, i needed to get the wee lads wellies out of the rover. Boot opened but now won't fecking lock. The 75 is a lovely car, but in the winter its hopeless. Any ideas how i can lock the boot please? Ideas other that unleaded + swan vestas please.

Four Star and Bryant & May.

[Cavcraft]

One of our cats keeps fit by meowing outside the kitchen window to come in, entering the house then scratching the back door two minutes later to go out again. She does this about 18,000 times a day.

[Jim Bell]

Its like theyre all seriously mentally ill.

[Cavcraft]

Anyway, I’m in court today for masturbating in the newsagents.

It was all over the papers.

[alcyonecorporation]

Whinging snow debate at work. 

Some people live miles away and have managed to get in, others are being mards who live locally. 

I personally think the folk more than 5 miles out should have worked remotely (we all can), but then they get to tell tales of derring do getting into work 'no matter what'. 
I'd rather you not crash and injure yourself, but hey, I'm not in charge. 

Unfortunately I've got no excuse; a stout pair of boots would see me well enough to walk in, and that's exactly what I did.