Grimmest car of all time

[Zelandeth]

Range Rover Velar.

Pointless, cramped, uncomfortable...and absolutely everything about it felt like the designers and production crew had just gone *shrug* "It'll do."

The one we had a shot of was a demonstrator, but even so only had 180 miles on the clock.  Even so the glove compartment lid wouldn't stay closed, the passenger side power seat wouldn't adjust and there were more rattles in the cabin than in my 35 year old Jag XJ-S.  In a brand new car costing in that spec, well north of fifty grand...

[wuvvum]

20 minutes ago, sdkrc said:

Grim doesn't necessarily mean bad, just unappealing. The idea of a boggo A-class brings me no joy but I'm sure they're acceptable an-cars

It's the cynicism of them as well.  The fact they're sold as a premium product when they're actually a Megane that somecunt has stuck a 3-pointed star on and jacked the price up 50% for the privilege*. 

[Tamworthbay]

31 minutes ago, sdkrc said:

Grim doesn't necessarily mean bad, just unappealing. The idea of a boggo A-class brings me no joy but I'm sure they're acceptable an-cars

Yup, 100% agree. I would rather a Trabant than a shitty cayenne or Q7. At least with the Trabant they did the best they could, with the ‘fashionable 4x4’ they are bigger, fatter, smaller inside, thirstier, more expensive, worse to own in every way possible than what the manufacturer could make just because some dimwit wants to look like a wag. Why anyone would pay more for something that is shitter just because of fashion is beyond me. 

[barefoot]

 

This little bastard was a shocker.

Granted it was brisk, but in part that was due to the speedometer over reading by 50%, the worst part by far was the ride, it drove like the wheelbase was about five feet long. Pitched like a small boat, it even made the fair wife swear!

[chaseracer]

Two-centre ShiteFest Cymru!  2015...?

[Justin Case]

 I take back what I said  about the first Hyundais earlier as I have just remembered FSO's direst efforts. The 125p was grim,  even allowing for it being built for East European conditions. But worse was to come, it was rebodied in the late 70s as the Polonez , with the added grimness of being the only hatchback you could buy without a folding rear seat. However it had to sink even further in about 1991, the FSO Caro, a slightly uglier facelift with a Citroen N/A diesel from several generations back. I remember that when they finally died in about 1995 the list price was £5995 (not sure how that compared with a Fiesta) but even at that price they were so undesirable that the last few were knocked out BOGOF, yes a new 5 door hatchback for less than £3,000, and only 25 years ago 😮 I can remember this because I was working in Telford at the time and they were snapped up by local taxi operators as replacement taxis had to be less than three years old. I believe the policy was changed shortly after. 

[motorpunk]

Grim in shiters terms, the Mk4 Escort. Grim in the general “fuck that I would rather walk in case anyone sees me” terms, this;

 

 

[Angrydicky]

I learnt to drive in a BSM Corsa D Diesel, KV57 TVC.

Absolutely dog slow, with no redeeming features.

1248cc apparently.

[vaughant]

VR6 aside ANY mk3 golf, fucking awful cars, GTI a disgrace to the badge, I can't believe how many people on here still rate them as well, awful. 

Had a 106 derv years ago, from but 65mpg helped. 

Hire cars as someone posted are usually the grimmest of anything modern. 

Corsa D/E, especially with anything below 1.4 pez. 

Astra j 1.4, oh dear oh deary me. 

Civic 1.8 2012, the most gutless car I've driven in years, got to jct 14 of the M4 and was tempted to turn back and use my 200k rough as Leon as it was at least able to get up a hill. 

However I think I've owned 2 of the grimmest cars ever :

-escort 1.8d 3dr in doom blue, base, no equipment or even PAS or if it did it was useless. Slow as. 

-Megane mk1 1.4, how someone above said it was nippy I'll never know, unless their motoring career involved ford side valves only. Didn't do a great deal wrong but had aircon yet windy windows? No c/l either. Also in doom blue. 

- wasn't the worst thing ever to drive but when I first started in ford I got my mother a mk3 fez 1.3 auto, no pas, seats made of concrete. 

And.... 

 

Just as I was about to leave the thread, I have now worked out the grimmest ever car as I got one for my sister again through work. 

Mk4 fez, in that dreadful flat lilac colour, no pas again, no c/l, radio only. 

 

Grim. 

[HMC]

I’m a bit confused. Is this a celebration of grim cars or a critique? The nuances of some explanations are a bit lost on me, given the forum.

I can find redeeming features on some level in almost anything. Is the vibe failing to meet expectations?

[vaughant]

5 minutes ago, HMC said:

I’m a bit confused. Is this a celebration of grim cars or a critique? The nuances of some explanations are a bit lost on me, given the forum.

I can find redeeming features on some level in almost anything. Is the vibe failing to meet expectations?

I'm very similar to yourself in that i always try to find the best in anything I'm driving but I also think some cars are just so awful I wouldn't have it if it was free. That may not be entirely in the spirit of the forum and everyone has their own take on what's grim or not but there does seem to be a bit of a trend especially towards the mk5/6 escort!!!! 

I'm currently driving a relatively basic Berlingo which many people might think was a totally grim experience but I'm genuinely driving it grinning 90% of the time, the lively 1.6pez helps but its just a great overall package, it just works perfectly as an all rounder. 

My lad would be more interested in a crap car but one he can connect his phone to as a priority now whereas when I was 25 I couldn't wait to get something that was far too powerful for the chassis and spend time driving it like an idiot everywhere. 

Horses for courses I suppose. 

I'm not adverse to modern cars and their gadgets which are good and handy but I love old basic crap as well. 

I'm starting to find pas is a priority now though, if I drive anything without it the novelty tires really quickly. 

[HMC]

Although currently my lada is filling up with water, with no fuel and no electricity, and various wires hanging out of the Dash, and am unable to locate the bonnet release. I’m finding it tough to not say - it’s grim! (Despite liking it)

[GeordieInExile]

19 hours ago, Cavcraft said:

A Golf Mk3 or 4 must be up there too. Fucking horrible inside, seats that you perch upon, rust galore and almost, almost Escort levels of hatefulness.

A drive in a base spec 1.4 estate must be a truly depressing experience.

[83C]

24 minutes ago, HMC said:

I’m a bit confused. Is this a celebration of grim cars or a critique? The nuances of some explanations are a bit lost on me, given the forum.

I can find redeeming features on some level in almost anything. Is the vibe failing to meet expectations?

There is also the personal perspective to consider, for example:

31 minutes ago, vaughant said:

Mk4 fez, in that dreadful flat lilac colour, no pas again, no c/l, radio only. 

This to me is an ideal little car - I find much joy in owning an smoll car that is nothing more than required for basic motoring. 

Probably the grimmest car I’ve experienced was a relative’s 2013  Vauxhall Zafira. It was in resale silver, had the 1.6 petrol, and was just... grim. It didn’t do anything particularly badly, but it didn’t do anything particularly well either. I could criticise the harshness at speed, the unsupportive drivers seat, the crap radio, the sheer lack of power... but it all pales into insignificance compared to the way it made me feel. Like a warning against underachieving - ‘do badly in life and you’ll be condemned to driving this forever.’

[vaughant]

45 minutes ago, 83C said:

There is also the personal perspective to consider, for example:

This to me is an ideal little car - I find much joy in owning an smoll car that is nothing more than required for basic motoring. 

Probably the grimmest car I’ve experienced was a relative’s 2013  Vauxhall Zafira. It was in resale silver, had the 1.6 petrol, and was just... grim. It didn’t do anything particularly badly, but it didn’t do anything particularly well either. I could criticise the harshness at speed, the unsupportive drivers seat, the crap radio, the sheer lack of power... but it all pales into insignificance compared to the way it made me feel. Like a warning against underachieving - ‘do badly in life and you’ll be condemned to driving this forever.’

And that's the point also, it was by far the grimmest looking thing around at the time but in truth I think it cost her £100 a month over 3 years with no money down and it was hers at the end of it, such was my discount at the time. 

For that money, it was a perfectly reasonable car to knock about in, like any other fiesta with a pushrod engine it could be abused to way beyond what a chain driven 3 cylinder corsa could, handled superbly, had great heaters, and would start at 5am everyday without complaint. Only rust really killed them,mechanically they were really bulletproof. 

To me, it did all that was asked of it, but it wasn't a nice place to be in particular, it wasn't comfy, it was a bit rattly, slow, had zero street cred and looked horrible, it was a grim place to me at least. 

To some people, feeling they need to pay £250 a month for a crappy polo 1.2 to appear to be doing OK is probably a grim thought for most of us, but to some the thought of driving a £500 polo 1.2 would fill them with dread the moment an EML or the like came on......

 

To us it would be just a "quirk" to live with. 

Horses for courses really. 

[vaughant]

1 hour ago, 83C said:

 

Probably the grimmest car I’ve experienced was a relative’s 2013  Vauxhall Zafira. It was in resale silver, had the 1.6 petrol, and was just... grim. It didn’t do anything particularly badly, but it didn’t do anything particularly well either. I could criticise the harshness at speed, the unsupportive drivers seat, the crap radio, the sheer lack of power... but it all pales into insignificance compared to the way it made me feel. Like a warning against underachieving - ‘do badly in life and you’ll be condemned to driving this forever.’

That's how I felt about the astra j as well, yet I love the older vauxhalls even up to 2009 sort of era. 

The zafira a gets considered from but it's a good car to me. 

[Minimad5]

1 hour ago, HMC said:

Although currently my lada is filling up with water, with no fuel and no electricity, and various wires hanging out of the Dash, and am unable to locate the bonnet release. I’m finding it tough to not say - it’s grim! (Despite liking it)

Then you MUST give that grim thing to me.

[Fumbler]

1 hour ago, HMC said:

Although currently my lada is filling up with water, with no fuel and no electricity, and various wires hanging out of the Dash, and am unable to locate the bonnet release. I’m finding it tough to not say - it’s grim! (Despite liking it)

Might it be a white plastic pull strip in the passenger footwell?

[DodgyBastard]

 

I saw someone thought the Chevette was grim but I actually quite enjoy using and driving it, it's a Chevette ES 2 door saloon which I believe is the lowest spec you could get. 

 

One of the grimmest cars I've had the misfortune of owning was this...

 

 

 

I did tart it up a little so it looked a little less shit but it was still pretty horrible to drive and had a bad habit of cutting out on corners.

 

 

Saying that I don't think this was the best example of a Lada Samara so perhaps there are better examples there that aren't quite as shit.

[bunglebus]

3 hours ago, motorpunk said:

Grim in shiters terms, the Mk4 Escort. Grim in the general “fuck that I would rather walk in case anyone sees me” terms, this;

 

 

One of the most stupid car designs ever. I very nearly fell out of my car laughing the first time I saw some woman driving one thinking she looked the bee's knees, just utterly ridiculous. What is it FOR?

[DodgyBastard]

The spec of this Escort estate I owned earlier this year was pretty low, no power steering or central locking, keep fit windows, 1.3 petrol engine.
It did actually drive OK, steering was a little heavy and it was pretty slow but other than that it wasn't horrible to drive, I kinda wish I'd kept it...

 

[GeordieInExile]

32 minutes ago, DodgyBastard said:

 

I saw someone thought the Chevette was grim but I actually quite enjoy using and driving it, it's a Chevette ES 2 door saloon which I believe is the lowest spec you could get. 

 

One of the grimmest cars I've had the misfortune of owning was this...

 

 

 

I did tart it up a little so it looked a little less shit but it was still pretty horrible to drive and had a bad habit of cutting out on corners.

 

 

Saying that I don't think this was the best example of a Lada Samara so perhaps there are better examples there that aren't quite as shit.

Holy rear bumper alignment, Batman.

I'm assuming that's factory.

[thebrotherschuckle]

On 12/26/2020 at 11:37 AM, davehedgehog31 said:

These are utterly irredeemable

Imagine this with a 1.6 petrol engine, just to tip you into the high tax band. 

Only way the Polo of that age can be redeemed is with the more practical estate bodyshell or 1.9 TDI engine.

The quality of the interior is hilarious. On mine the heated rear screen switch turned itself off and the resultant force cracked a piece of the dash plastic off and sent it flying onto my lap. 

Do seem mechanically robust though, which is disappointing as you'll have little reason to bale it.

I once bought one of these for £180. On my way home it started to torrentially rain and all the windows fell down. Happy days! 

[Skut]

11 hours ago, barefoot said:

 

This little bastard was a shocker.

Granted it was brisk, but in part that was due to the speedometer over reading by 50%, the worst part by far was the ride, it drove like the wheelbase was about five feet long. Pitched like a small boat, it even made the fair wife swear!

Oh dear I thought that example rode better than most Y10s I've driven.

[bunglebus]

4 hours ago, DodgyBastard said:

Good god they put the 1.3 OHV in a MK6? I though lowest engine size was the 1.4 CVH in the MK5 and 1.6 Zetec in the MK6. Surprised it could get out of its own way

[sierraman]

13 hours ago, vaughant said:

VR6 aside ANY mk3 golf, fucking awful cars, GTI a disgrace to the badge, I can't believe how many people on here still rate them as well, awful. 

Had a 106 derv years ago, from but 65mpg helped. 

Hire cars as someone posted are usually the grimmest of anything modern. 

Corsa D/E, especially with anything below 1.4 pez. 

Astra j 1.4, oh dear oh deary me. 

Civic 1.8 2012, the most gutless car I've driven in years, got to jct 14 of the M4 and was tempted to turn back and use my 200k rough as Leon as it was at least able to get up a hill. 

However I think I've owned 2 of the grimmest cars ever :

-escort 1.8d 3dr in doom blue, base, no equipment or even PAS or if it did it was useless. Slow as. 

-Megane mk1 1.4, how someone above said it was nippy I'll never know, unless their motoring career involved ford side valves only. Didn't do a great deal wrong but had aircon yet windy windows? No c/l either. Also in doom blue. 

- wasn't the worst thing ever to drive but when I first started in ford I got my mother a mk3 fez 1.3 auto, no pas, seats made of concrete. 

And.... 

 

Just as I was about to leave the thread, I have now worked out the grimmest ever car as I got one for my sister again through work. 

Mk4 fez, in that dreadful flat lilac colour, no pas again, no c/l, radio only. 

 

Grim. 

The Mk1 Megane 1.4 16v was fairly nippy, certainly quicker than the Focus or Astra 1.4 and probably the 1.6. Don’t know about the 8v ones I’ve never driven one. 

[Parky]

I would have to say Chevette but that’s based entirely on a miserable year owning one.  A good one might be a different experience.  It was good when it worked but an awkward sod when it decided not to.  Usually at the least opportune moment,  

Ever had that feeling on a cold morning when you just wanted the car to start?  It never would.  Job interview?  Yep, broken down again.  Hot date?  Ha ha ha ha ha, bad luck fella.  Disciplinary hearing?  Oh yeah, fired straight up for that didn’t it

[Timewaster]

11 hours ago, DodgyBastard said:

The spec of this Escort estate I owned earlier this year was pretty low, no power steering or central locking, keep fit windows, 1.3 petrol engine.

It did actually drive OK, steering was a little heavy and it was pretty slow but other than that it wasn't horrible to drive, I kinda wish I'd kept it...

 

This was the much improved final version. 

Still crap though. 

[ChinaTom]

I am sure it was that 1.6 engine that grimmified the Zafira. I hired one once for the quick jaunt between Heathrow and home and 120 miles felt like 400. A 1.9 td however felt normal and useful. 

[Split_Pin]

15 hours ago, vaughant said:

VR6 aside ANY mk3 golf, fucking awful cars, GTI a disgrace to the badge, I can't believe how many people on here still rate them as well, awful. 

Had a 106 derv years ago, from but 65mpg helped. 

Hire cars as someone posted are usually the grimmest of anything modern. 

Corsa D/E, especially with anything below 1.4 pez. 

Astra j 1.4, oh dear oh deary me. 

Civic 1.8 2012, the most gutless car I've driven in years, got to jct 14 of the M4 and was tempted to turn back and use my 200k rough as Leon as it was at least able to get up a hill. 

However I think I've owned 2 of the grimmest cars ever :

-escort 1.8d 3dr in doom blue, base, no equipment or even PAS or if it did it was useless. Slow as. 

-Megane mk1 1.4, how someone above said it was nippy I'll never know, unless their motoring career involved ford side valves only. Didn't do a great deal wrong but had aircon yet windy windows? No c/l either. Also in doom blue. 

- wasn't the worst thing ever to drive but when I first started in ford I got my mother a mk3 fez 1.3 auto, no pas, seats made of concrete. 

And.... 

 

Just as I was about to leave the thread, I have now worked out the grimmest ever car as I got one for my sister again through work. 

Mk4 fez, in that dreadful flat lilac colour, no pas again, no c/l, radio only. 

 

Grim. 

Prior to my Megane I had driven some quicker cars. After I sold it I had a Clio 172. Nothing wrong with my frame of reference thanks. I still maintain it was nippy for what it was, all things considered. 

Maybe yours was in poor health, maybe you expected more.

I'm not going to add anything else here as the thread is moving from differences of opinion to becoming a bit dogmatic in parts.