83C

New oil pressure switch fitted: I took the old one out with a 24mm shallow socket. Not ideal, but got away with it but just dropping the extension bar in the top of the socket resting on the spade terminal. I didn’t want to do that for refitting, so on the way back from buying the switch I stopped at Halfords and bought a 24mm deep socket. The new switch is 23mm across which caused an attack of the swears. Luckily I could just about get a 23mm spanner in there to nip it up, but I should really buy a full set of deep sockets. Next up was trying to get the engine bay a bit cleaner, I’m not after the concours look but being a bit less covered in crap makes it more pleasant to work on: Also scrubbed off the o/s cam cover to see where else there are leaks: Took it out for a quick Italian tune up, the smell of hot oil dissipated quickly and didn’t come back so hopefully that’s a win. No evidence of leaks when I got back either. Other jobs - new wipers fitted (old ones were the wrong size and looked grim), and I’ve ordered a new front numberplate plinth to make the front plate sit properly.

With a spot of dry weather today it was time to tackle the Porsche’s inability to contain its oil. From a previous look under it was definitely wet around the o/s cylinder head, and I was expecting the spark plug tubes to no longer be oil tight. Clearly moist. Not enough to be smelling of hot oil like it does though, so more investigation required. Started the engine and ran it at a fast idle to see if any oil made an appearance, and sure enough a thin bead of it appeared down the cam cover between the first and second coil packs: Looking up it appeared to be coming from the oil pressure sensor area. Took the engine top cover off and found this: 2.5 litres of dusty Porsche M96 engine. More importantly there was also this: The black shiny thing is the rubber cap over the oil pressure switch, wiping it off and running the engine showed it is leaking around the plastic base so time for a new switch. The plug tubes definitely look wet and will need changing at some point but for now I’ll fit a new switch and make sure that leak is gone first, so a liberal dose of engine degreaser will be needed.

Mine was similar, intermittent use by the previous owner, never failed to start but it was beginning to throw weird faults even though I was using it regularly. L322s are very sensitive to batteries beginning to get tired, putting an MF31 in made a big difference. Other things it could be - an ABS sensor and/or reluctor ring getting a bit out of sorts (the reluctor rings can expand and start taking the tip off the sensor) or the sensor itself is iffy. May even be something as simple as a bit of crap/water ingress in a wiring connector. Mine still throws regular 'Suspension Fault' issues but I think it's the valve block that is a bit iffy, I've not had any Suspension Inactive/HDC Fault messages since the battery and an ABS sensor were changed.

Check the battery. If it’s old it can cause a few spurious electrical issues, changed mine early on because it was doing similar things. This fits, it’s about the biggest that’ll go in the available space: https://www.bmstechnologies.co.uk/product/hankook-heavy-duty-commercial-battery-mf31-1000/

The snow-imposed hiatus in getting various members of the fleet progressed has given me some thinking time, and some eBay/car parts browsing time. Purchases first - nothing exciting but for the Boxster I found someone selling a new set of spark plug tubes for less than new price as they'd bought and not used them, so to that I've added spark plugs, oil and oil filter. Hopefully they'll all arrive in the coming week and I can get on with trying to get the engine a bit more oil tight. The smell of hot oil presumably getting onto the exhaust and visual evidence of the oil escaping the engine is less than ideal. The replacement wheel nuts for the Mondeo have turned up, hopefully this week the remaining McWank locking nuts will be smashed into oblivion, drop links changed and other rear ABS sensor changed out, and then it'll be MoT time. The L322 needs some front suspension rattles looking at, there's a fairly significant clonk from the o/s/f been developing recently. The car came with a new offside lower front arm that hadn't been fitted, so that'll be the starting point. This leads me on to the thoughts. The snow and the week's rain forecast have reminded me again how much I detest working on cars outside. In an ideal world I'd build my own garage, but I'm not planning to stay in the current house more than two years and to do so here would involve casting a slab of concrete around 12m x 4m that also accounts for a 1m drop over its length, before building something tall enough to house a 2 or 4 post lift, so that means getting into planning applications and all sorts of expensive stuff. I'd do it if this were a long term home, but it isn't. Therefore I need to look at renting a unit somewhere. The fact is I do enough work (or I should do enough work but I put so much off or pay someone else) to justify spending the money in renting a unit, plus I really want to park the Bentley indoors as much as possible. Obviously the next place will have a garage, so a unit is only going to be a thing for the next couple of years until I move house. I did see this: https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/129594593?utm_campaign=property-details&utm_content=commercial-lettings&utm_medium=sharing&utm_source=copytoclipboard#/&channel=COM_LET I have no idea though about what is required for taking on a commercial property for non-commercial purposes, or whether I need to be trading somehow. Setting up a company to facilitate letting a unit wouldn't be the end of the world though and I guess might have some tax advantages. I've also had it suggested to me again that I ought to be involved with a Youtube channel of some sort, because apparently I have interesting cars and do stuff with them, as do a few people I'm close to. Problem is I'm really not the sort to be on camera, I really don't like seeing myself or having to speak in public. That said, having a garage/unit would definitely be useful as a studio/set and maybe its the thing to break my own negative thoughts about myself. I was watching a few episodes of Pollitts Projects and HubNut and in some ways it appeals to the creative side of me. The financial stuff is irrelevant, unless you know you've got a guaranteed smash hit it's probably best to look at doing videos as a hobby and if it eventually gets enough subs and views to pay a few quid then happy days. I'm buying a GoPro and a DJI drone for a holiday later in the year anyway so maybe they would come in handy. Any thoughts and experiences of the above would be most welcome.

Glad I'm not the only one who keeps a spreadsheet.

Disco recovered: Sister’s 110 in the middle.

Yesterday was, er, entertaining: Got a call from my sister asking if I could come and rescue her as she’d parked her Discovery in a hidden snow filled ditch whilst taking the kids sledging, right on top of the local hills. Almost made it to where she was, by the time I got there the snow was drifting and obscuring the road enough to make actually picking the limits of the tarmac out very difficult. In that second picture just to the right of the tyre tracks it drops into a ditch, as she was around 400m away we decided to leave her car for the night and just get her and the kids home - no point risking the same problem with the Range Rover. The change in weather was rapid, when I went up there was still road visible, coming down it was an inch or two deep in snow - the difference was maybe an hour or so at most. Tonight’s fun will be recovering the Disco, shovels, ropes etc at the ready…

Today’s automotive chores: New windscreen day for the L322, as this won’t pass the MoT: Whilst that was being done, I went off on a trundle around the industrial estate for a nut splitter for the Mondeo. Turns out they’re hard to find, not many places stock them anymore, even the specialist tool shop. Last port of call was the Beta dealer at Bearing Man Ltd, and they did have one. Then things got a bit more spendy: I like Beta tools. My wallet really doesn’t.

I have 3 - shallow 3/8th, deep 3/8th and shallow 1/2". To be entirely fair I don't think I've ever used the 3/8th ones, but the 1/2" has come in handy for exactly that sort of job.

Yep. Always get rid of them. I’ve got a selection of 12pt sockets and 1/2” extension bars specifically for the job, so I can hammer them on and then swap to the decent extension and breaker bar once in place. The locking key itself looks like it’s been ugga-dugga’d up to eleventymillion, the pattern is absolutely bolloxed.

The front droplinks need replacing on the Mondeo, this I knew about before I got the car and it comes with shiny new replacements. Saw the old ones, thought ‘wonderful, get the hex bit in there, wind the nut off, jobs’ a good ‘un.’ Except it wasn’t, because Mondeo. Standard procedure for me with things like this is to use a rubber mallet to drive home the hex bit in order to ensure it’s seated, to try and make sure it doesn’t round out. 5mm bit in, seated, and 17mm spanner on the outside. Turn, turn, turn, tur- fuck. The nut goes about three clear turns on the thread before it binds enough (threads cleaned with a wire brush and cleaner) that the hex bit rounded out the end of the stud instead. Working it back and forth makes no difference, each time it just rounds out. At this point I’ve given up for the day, as I have to be at work in a bit so I’ve slung the wheel back on and parked it in the naughty corner. Progress tomorrow will be weather dependent. Just to make me even happier* the locking wheel nut doesn’t fit on either of the offside wheels either, so they’ll have to smashed off too. Fucking joy.

Locking wheel nuts are shite. Nearside front wheel: smash a 24mm socket over the remains of the locking nut to remove the outer spinning collar, then smash a 17mm onto the remains and wind off. Get very sweary removing the remains from the sockets. Nearside rear wheel: try the same again. Spinning collar doing its job a bit too well. Fuck. Drop down to a 15/16ths socket, tighter on the collar but not crushing onto the centre. Twat fuck out of the locking centre with a selection of punches to try and expand the centre enough to grab the outer collar. Fail. Swear, lots. Smash the 15/16ths back on, add a selection of 1/2in extensions to provide leverage. Finally succeed in waggling the collar off the centre. 17mm back onto the centre and wind off. Then go to undo the remaining normal nuts and find all are starting to expand, some enough to need the 20mm socket. The joys of working on a car, eh? Just got the offside ones to remove now...

Cars since 2000: 1989 Ford Escort Mk4 1.4 L 5dr 1990 Ford Escort Mk4 1.1 Bonus 3dr 1990 Vauxhall Cavalier Mk3 1.6 L Saloon 1990 Vauxhall Cavalier Mk3 1.6 GL Hatchback 1991 VW Golf Mk2 1.6 Ryder 5dr 1991 Rover 214SLi 5dr 1991 Ford Sierra Sapphire 2.0 GLS 1983 Mini 1000 1988 Vauxhall Cavalier Mk3 1.4 L Saloon 1994 Ford Mondeo 1.6 L Hatchback 1995 Vauxhall Omega 2.0 GLS Saloon 1990 Vauxhall Calibra 2.0 8v 2001 Vauxhall Omega 2.2 CD Saloon 1990 Vauxhall Senator 3.0 CD Saloon 1992 Peugeot 405 1.9 SRi Saloon 1988 Vauxhall Carlton GSi3000 1991 BMW E36 316i SE Saloon 1994 Vauxhall Omega 2.0 GLS Saloon 1991 Opel Omega 2.6 GL Saloon 1991 Mitsubishi GTO 3.0 N/A 1992 Mitsubishi GTO Twin Turbo 1996 Ford Fiesta Mk3 1.1 5dr 1991 Mitsubishi GTO Twin Turbo 1990 Nissan Micra K10 1.0 L 3dr 1996 Nissan Pulsar 1.5 3dr 1992 BMW E30 316i SE Touring 1994 VW Golf Mk3 1.4 Match 5dr 1994 BMW E34 525TDS Saloon 1991 Vauxhall Nova 1.2 Spin 3dr 1991 Toyota Previa 2.4 1984 VW Beetle (Mexican) 1.6 LHD 1986 Land Rover 90 2.5D 1993 Land Rover Discovery 200Tdi 2.5 5dr 1992 BMW E36 320i SE Saloon 1990 Audi 90 2.3 10v Saloon 1990 Land Rover Range Rover 3.5 Vogue SE 1994 BMW E36 318iS Coupe 1996 Jaguar XJ 3.2 Sport 1994 Vauxhall Corsa 1.4 5dr 1996 BMW E36 318i SE Touring 1996 Land Rover Range Rover P38 4.0 SE 1997 Vauxhall Combo 1.7D 1990 Mitsubishi GTO Twin Turbo 1997 Vauxhall Frontera 2.8 3dr 1993 Mercedes W124 E220 1991 Mercedes S124 230TE 1998 VW Polo 1.0 3dr 2001 Peugeot 406 2.0 HDi LX 2003 Ford Mondeo 2.0 TDCi LX 5dr 1997 Land Rover Discovery 300Tdi 2.5 3dr 1997 Jaguar XJ 4.0 Sport 2001 Volvo V70 2.4 2000 Subaru Legacy 2.5 GX Estate 2000 Vauxhall Omega 2.5 CDX Estate 2003 MG ZR 105 3dr 1979 Land Rover Series III 88 2004 Rover 45 1.4 5dr 1985 Ford Transit Mk3 2.5 Di Beavertail 1997 Mercedes S202 C240 1997 Ford Puma 1.4 2000 Alfa Romeo 2.0 TS 4dr 1996 BMW E36 328i SE Touring 1998 Peugeot 1.0 Zest 3dr 2000 Subaru Legacy Outback 2.5 5dr Estate 2001 MG ZT 190+ 4dr 2005 MG ZS 110 4dr 2005 Ford Mondeo 2.0 TDCi Ghia X 5dr Hatchback 1990 Land Rover 90 300Tdi 2.5 1999 Suzuki Swift 1.0 3dr 1994 Mercedes C124 E220 1991 Mercedes S124 200TE-16 2001 Mercedes W220 S320 2001 MG ZS 120 4dr Saloon 2002 Ford Transit Mk6 2.0 TDDi SWB 2000 Mercedes W638 Vito 108CDi SWB 2000 BMW E38 728i Sport 1998 Mercedes Sprinter 208D SWB 2003 Rover 75 1.8T Saloon 2000 Vauxhall Astravan 1.7TD 2002 Ford Transit Mk6 2.0 TDDi SWB 2003 Peugeot 307 1.6 3dr 1994 Citroen Xantia 1.9D 5dr 2003 Ford Mondeo Mk3 2.0 TDDi LX Estate 2000 Mercedes C203 CLK230 Kompressor 2004 MG ZT 135 Saloon 2001 Vauxhall Astravan 1.7TD 1999 Mercedes W220 S430 2001 Peugeot Expert 2.0 HDi Van 2005 BMW E61 525d SE Touring 2002 Citroen C15 1.9D 1997 Toyota Celica 1.8 ST 2003 Mercedes Sprinter 311CDi 1999 Land Rover Range Rover P38 4.6 HSE 2011 BMW F10 525d SE Saloon 1995 Nissan Micra 1.0 LS 3dr 1997 Citroen Xantia 1.9TD Hatchback 2000 Land Rover Discovery II Td5 2006 Ford Transit Mk7 2.2TDCi SWB 2002 BMW E39 525d SE Touring 1996 Vauxhall Frontera 2.8 5dr 2001 Ford Transit Mk6 2.4 LWB 2001 Rover 25 1.4 1996 Volvo 440i 5dr 2000 Vauxhall Astravan 1.7TD 1997 Mercedes S210 E320 2006 Land Rover Range Rover 3.0 TD6 Vogue SE 2000 Subaru Forester S-turbo 2.0 2000 Bentley Arnage Red Label 2005 Skoda Fabia Mk1 vRS 1998 Porsche Boxster 2.5 I'm fairly sure I've missed a few out, but thats most of them. And for completeness, the buses: 1989 Leyland Lynx L10 1984 Leyland Tiger/East Lancs EL2000 1984 Volvo B10M/Berkhof Esprit

I’ll wear my fingers to stumps if I do this in one hit on my phone, so part 1 is bikes cos it’s a shorter list: 1988 Yamaha DT50MX 197? Moto Guzzi 250 2000 Honda CityFly 125 2005 Honda Varadero 125 2006 Triumph Sprint 1050ST 1992 Kawasaki ZZR600 1994 Kawasaki ZZR1100 2013 Kawasaki ZZR1400 ? Yamaha PW50 2012 BMW G650GS 2003 Suzuki SV650S K3 1992 Honda CBR 600F 1999 Honda Dullville 1995 BMW R1100RT I think that’s all of the bikes, only 11 13 14 of them. Still have the ZZR1400, and one of my regular eBay trawls at the moment is for something like a Triumph Tiger or BMW GS. *Edited to add the CBR, which I forgot about having bought it from @warch, and the Dullville which was so beige it was easy to forget. **Edited again to add the ZZR1100. I *think* thats all of them...

Porsche: generally ok. Drives very well, it’s totally sold me on why Porsche are so popular. Needs: • Oil leak finding and sorting. • Exhaust shield rattle tracing and fixing. • Central locking issues dealt with. • Carpet removing and drying out. Came out ok after a thorough jetwash, and amazingly doesn’t leak: Decided to make a start on the Mondeo, including getting both n/s wheels off to find why they lose air over 4-5 days. Spot the difference: Bollocks. And the key for the locking nuts is also fucked. Double bollocks.

Stopped at Sedgemoor services, then back home. Not long got in, will do a full rundown on it tomorrow.

Tavistock achieved, collection achieved. Didnt have any time for collection shots as @HMC was a bit pushed for time, good to see you again though. Pez station shot at Sourton Cross: Child 2 approves, she’s along for the ride back to Shrewsbury. Onwards!

Collection day today, off to another prolific shiter in the South West. Not much in the way of photos or updates as I’m driving, but I’ve just stopped at Taunton Deane Services. Inlaw’s Kia Sportage is the chariot of choice.

Twisty fun roads - the natural habitat of the vRS. I’ll miss it, was a fun little car and surprisingly practical.

When I took Mrs 83C's Mini for MoT last week I booked another test slot in early March but wasn't sure which car it'd be for. The upcoming list of work on the fleet includes: A new windscreen on the Range Rover (old one has a crack nearly as big as mine, and just as ugly), and rectify the knocking from the front suspension, New set of tyres on the Bentley (old ones cracked and perished), Speed/ABS sensors for the Mondeo, also fit new drop links and take both n/s wheels to a tyre place to see where they're leaking. The Bentley's tyres will be done first as the first available slot for the Range Rover's windscreen was after the test slot, and the Range Rover has ticket until the end of March. I've settled for a set of Hankook Ventus S1 Evo's all around as the Arnage wears a slightly oddball 255/50/18, which came to just shy of £700 fitted at home. I declined the opportunity to fit the Bentley approved Pirelli P Zero Rosso, because the Hankooks have better ratings for load, noise and wet weather, and also: Yep, over £2,200 just because they're 'approved'. For context, the bigger Pirelli P Zero Scorpions on the L322 were less than £600 for the full set. Fuck. That. So it'll probably be the Bentley that goes in for test next Thursday providing tyre fitting all goes well, unless the Mondeo is done in time. And in diagnostic machine news, Amazon have finally remembered to refund me for the one that never left their possession. Only a month on from placing the order.

And along the same lines, ”Ran well before the cambelt snapped.” Fucking brilliant, shame it’s now fucked.

This really is a lovely looking old thing, would be quite comical seeing if I could even fit in it…

A bit of research led me to a Range Rover forum, where others have had the same issue on 2006 L322s where the SRS allegedly doesn’t want to talk to the box of tricks. Although the software lists a 2006 L322 as a specific option on the screen where you choose which model/year, apparently the SRS module is a hangover from the 2002-2005 models. Selected this option, straight in and a fault with the seat occupancy detection loop had been stored. Fault cleared, light off the dash and job done. Will see how long it stays off for, but last week I was looking at the wiring under the seats when the light first pinged on and noticed some of it had worked loose including a plug. Clipped it all back in, so hopefully that was the cause.

Yesterday I got hacked off enough waiting for the Autel diagnostics machine that I cancelled the order and blew £220 on an iCarsoft Pro, which turned up today. This made me much less frustrated. Plugging it in to the Mondeo revealed that one of the rear speed sensors is faulty, so I’ll pull the wheel off and have a look. Just need to work out whether Rear, Left means left hand side from looking at the car head on, or left hand side from the driver’s seat. Plugging the box of tricks into the Range Rover was a bit less conclusive. Trying to read the SRS module returned a result of unable to communicate. So I suppose I need to track down the SRS module and see if it’s still plugged in. A job for tomorrow morning.