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BorniteIdentity

Velocity and Satisfaction - The AS Vel Satis.

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It’s a land whale. That is the only real way to describe it. The wheels look like they’ve been nicked off a cowboy’s wagon they’re so large. 

Barefoot is right tho; it’s just because the proportions are - how you say - unorthodox. But it makes my Avensis look slim. Quite how it looks against modernz I’m not really sure. 

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7 minutes ago, BorniteIdentity said:

Monumentally. I’m so emotionally fragile; I feel like I’ve not slept for 4 days. 

I do need to get a cheap device so that I can knock out the inevitable EML of doom. Any suggestions gratefully received. 

I imagine that gets worse now it's here.  Sorry!

 

I highly recommend black electrical tape.

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Something terrible happened earlier.

I was outside doing “the six car shuffle” (not a euphemism) and needed to sit in and drive both my Avensis and the Vel Satis. 

As I got out I said “Oh Dear”

and the ghost of Barry Chuckle said “Oh Dear Oh Dear”. 

You see, the Avensis doesn’t seem particularly shit. Until you get into something else. It’s why I’ve systematically refused to buy anything better over the last four years. All acquisitions have had to be inferior. The Vel is palatial, sumptuous and welcoming. The Avensis is uncomfortable, spartan and a bit bleak. 

Shit. 

I genuinely didn’t see this coming. At all. But then again, I’ve never owned a wallowy old French bateau. 

I hate myself for even writing it down. 

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Come over to the French side, give in, give in! Sell me your Toyota come march 2020...

I felt the same coming out of the 406 into the zx, and the xm into the zx years ago. Takes a while to get over it, I'm still not fully there with the current zx either... 

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Lol. Welcome to the world of Velma.

She is a magnificent beast, takes up a lot of space but is a nice place to be. Especially the clock!

It is the one car that missus Puss and Puss mother in law loved.

It's the wrong engine and wrong gearbox but so easy to drive. Loads of room and you will need loads of room when parking!

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8 minutes ago, snagglepuss said:

Lol. Welcome to the world of Velma.

She is a magnificent beast, takes up a lot of space but is a nice place to be. Especially the clock!

It is the one car that missus Puss and Puss mother in law loved.

It's the wrong engine and wrong gearbox but so easy to drive. Loads of room and you will need loads of room when parking!

The clock is immense. Particularly backlit in the evening. So welcoming.

I’m not sure about the engine. I hoped it would be faster, but then she’s a big old hefferlump. A diesel would be of no interest to me at all, and the 3.5 would probably keep me awake at night. 

I’m comforted by 3 things here. 1- it’s done 269500 miles (shit cars don’t get this far.) 2- There’s a wealth of info on here. 3- It was free - I can’t lose. 

I do wish it wasn’t so fucking ugly tho! 

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I thought I was being a bit weird about the clock, then Keymaster reassured me: it IS gorgeous.

Sent from my BV6000 using Tapatalk


Well, the Renault stylists had to get *something* right on it eventually

Sent from my SM-A520F using Tapatalk

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8 hours ago, BorniteIdentity said:

All you’re 95 RON + E5 are belong to us. 5679D624-BAA2-489D-9FC8-05E89088FE53.thumb.jpeg.4e025a6d102e057f087f127d91e08b00.jpeg

It looks a bit like a touareg with collapsed suspension in that picture 

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I thought I was being a bit weird about the clock, then Keymaster reassured me: it IS gorgeous.

Sent from my BV6000 using Tapatalk


Is Keymaster ever wrong?

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8 hours ago, BorniteIdentity said:

Home. Completely uneventful, apart from I stuck it in reverse and stalled.  Mostly because I’d put it in 6th. Otherwise no lights, no maintenance pauses and no malodies. 

It’s the most comfortable car I’ve ever owned. It’s the cheapest car I’ve ever owned. It’s hideous to look at (seriously, I’d rather climb inside Gemma Collins) but I quite like it. 

Thanks to Barefoot for the ride in the period correct Scirocco and for the excellent luncheon, and to Loserone for the ticket. 

I’m now off to clean it! 

It is indeed the vehicular manifestation of Gemma Collin’s snatch. Fair play for chowing down and taking one for the team.

My Roffle fingers are poised for the next epb failure :)

GLWS
(Where S=Stint)

 

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