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Velocity and Satisfaction - The AS Vel Satis.


BorniteIdentity

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9 hours ago, BorniteIdentity said:

It’s the most comfortable car I’ve ever owned. It’s the cheapest car I’ve ever owned. It’s hideous to look at (seriously, I’d rather climb inside Gemma Collins) but I quite like it.

you bucking fastard i had to google foo gemma collins to see who/what it was

it hurt my eyes ?

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11 hours ago, BorniteIdentity said:

The clock is immense. Particularly backlit in the evening. So welcoming.

I’m not sure about the engine. I hoped it would be faster...

The clock is lovely, as are the two little red lights that glow softly in the roof.  And the illuminated sun visors are something else.

There isn't the brutal power band that you hope for with 16 valves and a turbo, it's all very flat, but glance in the mirror and you often find you've left a junction much faster than everything else. I think that it's fast, but not quick. Which is just as well, as your passengers will tell you the first time you try to hurry it through a series of bends!

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200 miles in. Absolutely nothing to report. The wife says it’s like nothing she’s ever seen or sat in, but isn’t as opposed to it as I first feared. 

The only problem, I’m sorry to say, is the smell of dog. I am a huge woofer fan - and can’t even walk past a dog without putting a stupid voice on and making a fuss of it - but the car absolutely reeks of it. I think it’s the boot more than anywhere else, but there’s a distinctive musty smell about the whole vehicle. It’s a good excuse to try one of these odour bombs which I’ve now bought, and will use next weekend. 

The car is being used today to move office. More later!

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Quick bath. One bucket, one brush, zero fucks. 

Things I’ve learnt?

1. Front bumper has a self tapper.

2. The windscreen is ginormous.

3. The car gets greener with every day. I could have sworn it was gold when I won it! 
 

F326C193-3095-4E0A-B24A-131CC01D4475.thumb.jpeg.527fe5e5a9c855d87fb6d5abed5bebcc.jpeg

 

AD69BA0A-190E-420A-8769-3A1427F64CD7.thumb.jpeg.5d7073b047aa006ba3ae1c24068c269e.jpeg

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Welcome to the joys of French cars.  Nobody does "welcoming and comfortable" quite as well, especially in the 80s and 90s.  Though Volvo get pretty damned close and Saab get a mention.

My Xantia needs probably £6-800 spending on it in the near future (if I go with a stock exhaust rather than stainless)...and it's worth optimistically a grand with that work done...and still will desperately need a full respray.

Then I sat down and had a think about what I'd need to be paying to replace it with something that's as generally capable and as nice a place to be, and something I'd actually like to drive.  Which is another point in the favour of the Xantia... everything else aside, I like driving it.

I wound up basically looking at second hand (not fourth or fifth) Volvos probably costing five times as much. Sorry...if I'm going to spend that sort of money it's going to be on one of the wish list motors. 

So logic will be going out the window and the Xantia will be getting dropped off with a specialist with the simple instructions of "if it needs or is about to need sorting, sort it."

French cars are good at making you do things like that it seems.  For all some people like to trash talk French motors, while Renaults do seem somewhat prone to electrical infidelity and are (in general) a bit more fragile than models from the PSA stable, most French motors are bloody good cars I think.

I'd still love an Avantime...even though I know getting spares for it would probably bankrupt me.

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1 hour ago, barefoot said:

You have an excellent nose. The dog has only been in it a couple of times in a special dog hammock which hangs from all four head rests. So he's not actually been on the leather or the carpets, but we did store the hammock in the boot.

Now, more than ever, I’d like to see a dog in a dog hammock. 

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I’ve been using the old girl for work this week and it really is a beautiful car to drive. My genuine concern is what the hell I find to match it with regards to ride comfort. 

My MD has nicknamed it the VelSatian because of the dog smell inside, and my boss wants to buy it! Genuinely, he thinks it’s the best thing he’s ever sat in! 

It will be for sale at some stage, but am keen to eliminate the smell of woofer before any transaction should commence. The odour bomb arrived earlier so that will be deployed ASAP. That said, a colleague worked for Renault circa 2001 and she just thinks it’s smells of Renolt. 

Genuinely, it’s a brilliant car. It has its foibles but, on reflection, they’re no greater in number than I have with any of my other cars. They’re just different. 

 

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8 hours ago, BorniteIdentity said:

I’ve been using the old girl for work this week and it really is a beautiful car to drive. My genuine concern is what the hell I find to match it with regards to ride comfort. 

My MD has nicknamed it the VelSatian because of the dog smell inside, and my boss wants to buy it! Genuinely, he thinks it’s the best thing he’s ever sat in! 

It will be for sale at some stage, but am keen to eliminate the smell of woofer before any transaction should commence. The odour bomb arrived earlier so that will be deployed ASAP. That said, a colleague worked for Renault circa 2001 and she just thinks it’s smells of Renolt. 

Genuinely, it’s a brilliant car. It has its foibles but, on reflection, they’re no greater in number than I have with any of my other cars. They’re just different. 

 

I'd love to have seen the expression on their faces when you explained how you came to own the most comfortable car of ever.

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7 hours ago, Eddie Honda said:

I'm disappointed by that so-called hammock Dave. I really am. You raised my expectations and now I'm deflated. I was so hoping the dog was doing this between the headrests.

806591d3ab270d2396b6757e8756b3ae.gif

My dog used to do exactly that, the pic is just one from the interweb to illustrate.

re; the smell of dog, Are you sure that what you can smell isn't the leather food that I've been liberally pouring into the hide for the last two years.

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5 minutes ago, barefoot said:

My dog used to do exactly that, the pic is just one from the interweb to illustrate.

re; the smell of dog, Are you sure that what you can smell isn't the leather food that I've been liberally pouring into the hide for the last two years.

Quite possibly; it’s a very unusual smell - not at all like dog. I just assume that smells in cars are either pooch or fags. I’m looking forward to the odour bomb nonetheless! 
 

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5 hours ago, skattrd said:

Dammit, I'm get serious want for a big wafty French thing now.

Me too, I think you need a day trip to Swansea returning via Norfolk :D 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Renault-Vel-Satis-3-5-V6-auto-Privilege-FIFTEEN-SERVICE-STAMPS-BLUETOOTH/352843327831?hash=item522719e957:g:XrcAAOSwtsBdwFX6

Or if you don't fancy a trip to Wales, there's one not a million miles from someone you know quite well 

https://www.gumtree.com/p/renault/renault-vel-satis-3.5-ltr-in-great-condition-low-mileage-mot-june-2020-£795-px-considered-/1355405558

 

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