gadgetgricey Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 2 minutes ago, BorniteIdentity said: Jesus.... I know everyone said it was a big old beast, but you don't realise until you see it parked next to something else.... barefoot 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BorniteIdentity Posted November 8, 2019 Author Share Posted November 8, 2019 It’s a land whale. That is the only real way to describe it. The wheels look like they’ve been nicked off a cowboy’s wagon they’re so large. Barefoot is right tho; it’s just because the proportions are - how you say - unorthodox. But it makes my Avensis look slim. Quite how it looks against modernz I’m not really sure. barefoot and Split_Pin 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loserone Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 7 minutes ago, BorniteIdentity said: Monumentally. I’m so emotionally fragile; I feel like I’ve not slept for 4 days. I do need to get a cheap device so that I can knock out the inevitable EML of doom. Any suggestions gratefully received. I imagine that gets worse now it's here. Sorry! I highly recommend black electrical tape. barefoot 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SRi05 Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 Jesus, it is big even compared to "moderns" must have been gigantic in 2003. Wheels look tiny in those arches ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barefoot Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 The proportions are... I'm glad you're chuffed with it. Now all you have to do is to convince the fair wife of its charms. I had a struggle but won mine over in the end, she was actually sad to see it go. Ohdearme and BorniteIdentity 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wuvvum Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 I imagine this is a much better bet than the V6 diesel auto Initiale I had. That was a right pain in the arse. I'd still like a go in the 350Z-engined version at some point mind. BorniteIdentity 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthernMonkey Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 Christ, I’d forgotten how big it is!! The Moog 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fat_Pirate Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 That is seriously HOT, you spawny git. Ohdearme 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BorniteIdentity Posted November 8, 2019 Author Share Posted November 8, 2019 Something terrible happened earlier. I was outside doing “the six car shuffle” (not a euphemism) and needed to sit in and drive both my Avensis and the Vel Satis. As I got out I said “Oh Dear” and the ghost of Barry Chuckle said “Oh Dear Oh Dear”. You see, the Avensis doesn’t seem particularly shit. Until you get into something else. It’s why I’ve systematically refused to buy anything better over the last four years. All acquisitions have had to be inferior. The Vel is palatial, sumptuous and welcoming. The Avensis is uncomfortable, spartan and a bit bleak. Shit. I genuinely didn’t see this coming. At all. But then again, I’ve never owned a wallowy old French bateau. I hate myself for even writing it down. barmatt, wuvvum, The Moog and 23 others 17 8 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beko1987 Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 Come over to the French side, give in, give in! Sell me your Toyota come march 2020... I felt the same coming out of the 406 into the zx, and the xm into the zx years ago. Takes a while to get over it, I'm still not fully there with the current zx either... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiltox Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 You need a Delphi DS150E knock off and a cheap spare laptop. The only hope of winning the diagnostic war. stonedagain, Eddie Honda, BorniteIdentity and 3 others 3 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beko1987 Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 Mr @SiC s Oh No Renault saved my fucking bacon many a time! Did you know that if you operate the EPB about 25 times, each time spraying wd40 at the caliper and twatting it with a hammer it throws a fault? Fun fact... RobT, Kiltox, The Moog and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moog Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 Lol. Welcome to the world of Velma. She is a magnificent beast, takes up a lot of space but is a nice place to be. Especially the clock! It is the one car that missus Puss and Puss mother in law loved. It's the wrong engine and wrong gearbox but so easy to drive. Loads of room and you will need loads of room when parking! Ohdearme 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiltox Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 I just bought another DS150 because the USB port is shagged on mine. £26 now which is a BARGAIN. https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/2015R3-Car-Truck-OBD-Diagnostic-Scanner-Kits-Bluetooth-TCS-For-Ds150e-CDP-U-N1B8/223739167573?hash=item3417e4c355:g:2DMAAOSwEOxdw~Hg loserone and Skizzer 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BorniteIdentity Posted November 8, 2019 Author Share Posted November 8, 2019 8 minutes ago, snagglepuss said: Lol. Welcome to the world of Velma. She is a magnificent beast, takes up a lot of space but is a nice place to be. Especially the clock! It is the one car that missus Puss and Puss mother in law loved. It's the wrong engine and wrong gearbox but so easy to drive. Loads of room and you will need loads of room when parking! The clock is immense. Particularly backlit in the evening. So welcoming. I’m not sure about the engine. I hoped it would be faster, but then she’s a big old hefferlump. A diesel would be of no interest to me at all, and the 3.5 would probably keep me awake at night. I’m comforted by 3 things here. 1- it’s done 269500 miles (shit cars don’t get this far.) 2- There’s a wealth of info on here. 3- It was free - I can’t lose. I do wish it wasn’t so fucking ugly tho! chodweaver, Split_Pin, The Moog and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beko1987 Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 Ignore the outside. It'll be a lovely place to be on December the 17th at 8am in the pissing freezing rain stuck on the motorway! The Moog 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wuvvum Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 15 minutes ago, beko1987 said: Ignore the outside. It'll be a lovely place to be on December the 17th at 8am in the pissing freezing rain stuck on the motorway hard shoulder waiting for the RAC! FTFY. egg, beko1987, Ohdearme and 1 other 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chodweaver Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 Picking this up on the morrow. Has anyone EVER managed to slide a Vel Satis...? Yes. Not what I'd call rewarding.(Sorry, couldn't resist that.)Sent from my BV6000 using Tapatalk The Moog 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chodweaver Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 I thought I was being a bit weird about the clock, then Keymaster reassured me: it IS gorgeous.Sent from my BV6000 using Tapatalk The Moog 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keymaster Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 I thought I was being a bit weird about the clock, then Keymaster reassured me: it IS gorgeous.Sent from my BV6000 using TapatalkWell, the Renault stylists had to get *something* right on it eventually Sent from my SM-A520F using Tapatalk The Moog 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chodweaver Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 Is that like on the C6? The door bins are to die for...Sent from my BV6000 using Tapatalk Keymaster and Ohdearme 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wack Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 8 hours ago, BorniteIdentity said: All you’re 95 RON + E5 are belong to us. It looks a bit like a touareg with collapsed suspension in that picture Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moog Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 I thought I was being a bit weird about the clock, then Keymaster reassured me: it IS gorgeous.Sent from my BV6000 using TapatalkIs Keymaster ever wrong? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chodweaver Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 Nope. Keymaster is good. Keymaster is wise.Sent from my BV6000 using Tapatalk The Moog 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keymaster Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 Constantly wrong. Unlike that clock. Which is all levels of right. Sent from my SM-A520F using Tapatalk The Moog and chodweaver 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keymaster Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 Nope. Keymaster is good. Keymaster is wise.Sent from my BV6000 using TapatalkSent from my SM-A520F using Tapatalk The Moog 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ohdearme Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 8 hours ago, BorniteIdentity said: Home. Completely uneventful, apart from I stuck it in reverse and stalled. Mostly because I’d put it in 6th. Otherwise no lights, no maintenance pauses and no malodies. It’s the most comfortable car I’ve ever owned. It’s the cheapest car I’ve ever owned. It’s hideous to look at (seriously, I’d rather climb inside Gemma Collins) but I quite like it. Thanks to Barefoot for the ride in the period correct Scirocco and for the excellent luncheon, and to Loserone for the ticket. I’m now off to clean it! It is indeed the vehicular manifestation of Gemma Collin’s snatch. Fair play for chowing down and taking one for the team. My Roffle fingers are poised for the next epb failure GLWS (Where S=Stint) beko1987 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeordieInExile Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 I like how insanely big it is. You should get an Avantime next and do a comparison video. beko1987 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beko1987 Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 So you now have an example of one of the most basic cars ever made, and one of the most kitted out! Id keep the base working as a backup car though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beko1987 Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 Just now, GeordieInExile said: I like how insanely big it is. You should get an Avantime next and do a comparison video. And an espace, the scary age one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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