Shitting in the shallow end.

[Saabnut]

11 hours ago, Jim Bell said:

11 hours ago, Jim Bell said:

 

ONE LAP OF THE SOUTH

 

 

FTFY

[dome]

Was great to see you again man, like Moses parting the waves but using a Merc undertray instead of witchcraft

[Eyersey1234]

13 hours ago, Jim Bell said:

 

I had to chin four of them.. don't tell the RSPCA. 

One of them is currently seeking legal advice 🤣

[Jim Bell]

27 minutes ago, Eyersey1234 said:

One of them is currently seeking legal advice 🤣

I'll be up before the beak. Imagine the bill!

(Other bird puns may also be available)

[Supernaut]

14 hours ago, Jim Bell said:

 

 

That's a brilliant photo of my back.

I'll get that on Tinder ASAP and get all the honeys.

[320touring]

10 minutes ago, Supernaut said:

That's a brilliant photo of my back.

I'll get that on Tinder ASAP and get all the honeys.

"It could be worse, you could be dating the cunt on the right"

 

🤣

[Jim Bell]

24 minutes ago, Supernaut said:

That's a brilliant photo of my back.

 

Seems a bit creepy out of context. Lurking behind men in industrial units and photographing them. 

[Eyersey1234]

2 hours ago, Jim Bell said:

I'll be up before the beak. Imagine the bill!

(Other bird puns may also be available)

@Cavcraftcalled he wants his joke book back 🤣

[Supernaut]

2 hours ago, Jim Bell said:

Seems a bit creepy out of context. Lurking behind men in industrial units and photographing them. 

I particularly like how you stuck with that photo.

Even after I noticed you taking a photo of the Citroen, and moved out of your way.

[Datsuncog]

4 hours ago, Supernaut said:

That's a brilliant photo of my back.

I'll get that on Tinder ASAP and get all the honeys.

 

"That's a sexy back..."

"But tell me more about the Eurovan. Does it run on veg?"

[Eyersey1234]

3 hours ago, Datsuncog said:

 

"That's a sexy back..."

"But tell me more about the Eurovan. Does it run on veg?"

Yeah it uuses a carrot every 4 miles 😂

[beko1987]

Looks like a cannock meet 😂

[High Jetter]

8 hours ago, Jim Bell said:

I'll be up before the beak. Imagine the bill!

(Other bird puns may also be available)

Winging it, as usual. Exceptional talon(t). Have you tweeted? Stop crowing. Etc, etc...

[Split_Pin]

29 minutes ago, beko1987 said:

Looks like an album cover

 

[captain_70s]

[somewhatfoolish]

5 hours ago, Datsuncog said:

 

"That's a sexy back..."

"But tell me more about the Eurovan. Does it run on veg?"

She looks like more of a FIAT Ulysse type.

[chodweaver]

'Auction breakfast'

Their follow up album?

[somewhatfoolish]

That's more like a 3rd album; the disappointing 2nd album would be "Sunroof = soggy footwell" or perhaps "It's totally fucking fucked mate, big time".

[anonymous user]

1 hour ago, somewhatfoolish said:

That's more like a 3rd album; the disappointing 2nd album would be "Sunroof = soggy footwell" or perhaps "It's totally fucking fucked mate, big time".

Or "Don't fancy yours, or mine, for that matter"

[3VOM]

8 hours ago, somewhatfoolish said:

That's more like a 3rd album; the disappointing 2nd album would be "Sunroof = soggy footwell" or perhaps "It's totally fucking fucked mate, big time".

"I wasn't bidding, mate"

[Fumbler]

1 hour ago, 3VOM said:

"I wasn't bidding, mate"

With the first song being "Cannock Blues"

[Jim Bell]

Good morning all. 

It's 05:07 am, it's cold, it's dark and there's a car somewhere on this isle with my name on it. 

Up and onwards!

[Jim Bell]

[Tickman]

Such excitement

[Jim Bell]

Well there's not much excitement so far. 

News from the smallest room is that we shall be starting the day with a p.c. of 1. 

 

 

Weather is bleak. 

It's dark, wet, cold and black. Like the worst coffee. No snow though, so that's a Brucey bonus. 

 

 

 

 

Hello big train house. Seems like I havnt seen you for years and years. 

 

 

First bad news of the day. Gregg's opens at 0630. Guess what time my train is?

 

 

 

Bugger.  

[Jim Bell]

Zoomer. 

 

[Jim Bell]

We are now passing....... Durham. 

 

Tourist trivia. 

Durham was founded in 1935 by Geoffrey Durham, first husband of the late Victoria Wood. 

Formerly a pit village with a posh celebrity church, the arrival of Mr. Durham kick-started a resurgence of good fortune for the town and his trade mark catchphrase "Peef Paff Poof" can be seen carved into the pale sandstone frontages of many on the municipal buildings in the old quarter. 

 

Durham FC play in the Zanussi Northern Premiership. They won their last game against Spennymoor Racing 1-0. 

[Jim Bell]

With Gregg's being closed, I'm having to resort to a breakfast that I've managed to steal from a child further up the carriage while his mam had nipped to the toilet. 

He's not crying or anything, so it's pretty much a victimless crime. 

[Jim Bell]

We are currently arriving in: Darlington. 

Tourist trivia

Darlington is most famous for its Celebrity Cannibal Killer David Harker whom devoured the thigh meat of his victim along with pasta and a can of Carlsberg Special Brew. 

 

 

He was subsequently banned from all present and future series of both MasterChef, Jnr MasterChef and The Great British Bake Off. He was also sent to the jail. 

 

Darlington FC went bust in 1997 but reformed as Darlington Railway 42069 in 2001. They play in the Radox Eastern Conference. Their current top scorer Clint Lozenge once had a trial in Manchester. 

But it was for breaking and entering. 

[Jim Bell]

We will soon be arriving at:

Northallerton. 

Tourist info:

This year Northallerton got its first mobile phone mast. Unfortunately, due to the topography of the town and the height of the the buildings around the mast, the only place that you can get a decent reception is near the flowerbeds outside the Town Hall. 

 

Northallerton Railwaymen AFC play in the I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Regional Division Four Premier League. 

Their current Goalkeeper, Terry Halifax, once ate 6 hot dogs for a bet.