What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[Aston Martin]

LGV theory...Passed.
Hazard Perception... Passed.
CPC theory... Passed.

Currently in pub having a carvery and a pint, details later.

[Bobthebeard]

LGV theory...passed.

Hazard Perception... Passed.

CPC theory... Passed.

Currently in pub having a carvery and a pint, details later.

Good news! Just don't trip over a chair or fail to anticipate any potential hazards whilst negotiating the carvery or going for a piss etc...

[hairnet]

Currently whoring the feck out if the stena plus lounge

 

As much cake and drink and fruit as you can handle and bbc1 and this

 

Beats the shite outta 3 hours on the bike and the Irish ferries boat

 

Only two and quarter hours left

[Aston Martin]

Ok, so I was booked in at 12pm for Multiple choice, 1:15 for CPC and 3pm for Hazard Perception, they said, they'd let me knock them all out in a row and I left the building after 1 hour and 10 mins.

 

 

First off the Multiple Choice, after 20 minutes i'm reviewing my answers before I click submit. It was a piece of piss and I had maybe 5 or 6 where the answers could have been this or that. But I figured 95 correct is fine.

 

CPC next, which is the one I was dreading and chatting to the receptionist, everyone hates. First case study was fine, the second one "You are transporting meat through France, which legislation are you on?"    My passport has run out, fuck off, wasn't an option.

 

Hazard Perception, for those who don't know the new Hazard Perception is CGI (It also wasn't LGV related) anyway, one of the videos was an actual DVLA test video that is available online and i've been practising on. Which is handy. The CGI looks good, but theres a couple of flaws. They only have about 10 cars in their scenes, but in different colours. However, whenever you saw the purple Polo GTI, something was going to happen. I clicked everytime I saw it and it paid off. The other issue is theres awful screen-tearing/V-Sync issues.

 

 

And the scores are...

 

Multiple Choice (Pass score is 85 out of 100.) I got 98.

CPC (Pass score is 40 out of 50.) I got 46.

Hazard Perception (Pass score is 67 out of 100.) I got 92.

 

 

CPC worried me, I don't know how I pulled that one off. Next step is CPC practical... then pass my Cat C... then C + E. 

 

[Slappy]

Had a sneak preview of tomorrow, because Chichester is just full of pristine Jaaags, Triumphs and MGs right now!

 

Cannot wait! But first, my first auction house gander...

[scaryoldcortina]

LGV theory...passed.

Hazard Perception... Passed.

CPC theory... Passed.

 

Currently in pub having a carvery and a pint, details later.

 

 

 

One of the bin collectors suggests going to a local pub for lunch. How should Benjamin respond? Select the BEST option below.

 

A. 'I could do with a pint after that accident'

B. 'One pint won't hurt'

C. 'OK, I'll have a couple'

D. 'Alcohol and driving don't mix. How about a cafe?'

 

 

Well done though!

[Aston Martin]

Well done though!

 

Dammit Benjamin!!! 

[MrBiscuits]

Tonight on my miserable trundle down the M27 I was joined by a P4 an MGA and best of all, a red A40 on cosmic alloys with a fruity exhaust.

 

Suddenly remembered about the Goodwood revival.

[dave21478]

I have been shitting really dark black turds for the last few days - apparently this is a Very Bad Sign. Apparently it is also a symptom of eating too many Oreo biscuits, which applies in my case.

 

It was this that led me to find a large forum community dedicated entirely to poop.

http://www.poopreport.com/phpBB/index.php

 

I might sign up.

[richardmorris]

Cut down on the Guinness.

[fordperv]

You will have to change from normal oreo's to golden oreo's

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Drink a couple of bottles of tipp-ex, problem solved

[RoadworkUK]

Audi and their policy of only having only actually designed one car since 2002 and sold it in a variety of sizes since.

 

I saw a new generation (I think) A4 the other day. It had a TFSI badge on the back. I have since determined that TFSI stands for

"The Fucking Same, Innit?".

I'm planning to use that same joke several more times, both on here and elsewhere on the internet.

[wuvvum]

Booked a holiday today.  Really can't afford it at the moment, but I haven't had a decent holiday in years so thought fuck it.

 

Fly to Chicago, pick up a camper in northern Indiana, then drive Route 66 to Vegas, then up and across to San Francisco to drop the camper off.  Then pick up a convertible Mustang and drive down the coast road to LA, couple of days in LA and then fly back to Heathrow.

 

It's not till next March, but I'm already excited.  It's something I've wanted to do for years.  I'm going with fit bird from work and her brother.

 

Now I just need to sell a couple of vans to pay for it...

[phil_lihp]

I've done similar trips in the past, you'll love it.  My only regret so far was being talked out of finishing the last leg of the journey from Barstow to LA on Route 66 by my friend as he didn't see the point.  Make sure you do!

[Jazoli]

Just make sure your hire car is guaranteed, I booked a mustang convertible and ended up with some shitty dodge saloon and a shoulder shrug, it got a good pasting on the dirt tracks around the grand canyon but wasn't quite the same

[garbaldy]

A group of us are talking about doing the same on bikes next year.

[Negative Creep]

Just make sure your hire car is guaranteed, I booked a mustang convertible and ended up with some shitty dodge saloon and a shoulder shrug, it got a good pasting on the dirt tracks around the grand canyon but wasn't quite the same

 

 

Surely a discerning shiter should be asking for the most miserable hire car they have?

[Sealtainn]

On the subject of bodily functions, I like beetroot and I consumed an entire jar in one sitting, next time I went to the bathroom my piss was bright red. I was panicking thinking I was passing blood till Mrs Seal reminded me of the copious beetroot eating. Apparently the original Night Nurse turns your pee luminous green - I haven't tried this

[Inspector Morose]

Don't eat too many carrots.

[Ghosty]

We're all assuming that this is rental through a big company e.g. Hertz, Enterprise and not a specialist.

The hire car thing is weird. Basically it's a lottery relating to what they have in ('or equivalent' etc).

 

example: https://www.reddit.com/r/cars/comments/3d6rp0/misleading_car_rental_bait_and_switch_that_has_me/

 

See also that episode of Seinfeld where Jerry can't get the car he's 'reserved'.

[Station]

Yeueughch.

 

[vulgalour]

That looks nothing like a delicious ice lolly.

[hairnet]

I have been shitting really dark black turds for the last few days - apparently this is a Very Bad Sign. Apparently it is also a symptom of eating too many Oreo biscuits, which applies in my case.

 

It was this that led me to find a large forum community dedicated entirely to poop.

http://www.poopreport.com/phpBB/index.php

 

I might sign up.

 

its the coffee liqeuers (?)

You will have to change from normal oreo's to golden oreo's

foxes golden crunch ftw

 

arent you sctsch dave shouldnt it be tunnocks

[hairnet]

Yeueughch.

 

its like a 15 civic thats been badly convertibled (like a home made mini)

[Dippy]

This happened to me, I wanted a Mustang to visit Bullit locations in San Francisco.

Hertz gave me a Toyota Solero.

I never rented from them again.

 

Larkin to Francisco Street by Tayne, on Flickr

 

chase-07a.jpg by Tayne, on Flickr

This happened to me, I wanted a Mustang to visit Bullit locations in San Francisco.

Hertz gave me a Toyota Solero.

I never rented from them again.

 

Larkin to Francisco Street by Tayne, on Flickr

 

chase-07a.jpg by Tayne, on Flickr

A guaranteed car from Hertz means jack shit as I booked a Challenger 6 months in advance and they didn't have it when I arrived and didn't care. They gave me a 6000 mile,Camero with damage to every panel.

[STUNO]

I was on Victoria Island years ago and asked to rent a small cheap car. The reply was "sorry there are none left but you can have this at the same price" . It was a 'proper' Trans Am and almost new. I reluctantly said yes.

[Cavcraft]

America doesn't really appeal to me and I don't like Harleys, but I'd love to do Route 66 on one for a couple of weeks, or whatever it is they do.

[vulgalour]

I can't go to America, I'd spend all my money on terrible rotten Cadillacs and then have to craft them into some sort of Cuban-esque boat to get home.

[danthecapriman]

I can't go to America, I'd spend all my money on terrible rotten Cadillacs and then have to craft them into some sort of Cuban-esque boat to get home.

Me too!

I love the US and would give anything to emigrate there and never come back. It's a fantastic place.