What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[scaryoldcortina]

Replaced with 3 bits of wafer thin ham stuck together with mustard perhaps?

[hairnet]

cross cuntree run to cambs tomorrow

 

with only a 50 mile stretch of m1 to swerve the feck outta sheffield chesterfield and nottm

[fred]

You people are the worst, I dreamt that I was trying to buy a red Rover 25. When I got there I had the expansion tank out and it was in my hand. It was full of rust, so I'm complaining that the head gasket had gone.

 

The guys girlfriend said what does that mean? I said its like taking a ham sandwich and replacing the ham.

 

Which is a beautiful metaphor or I've been on the bath salts again.

 

P.s. I don't want a Rover 25.

Your lucky - I had the Edwina Currie sucking me off in a cheap Hostelry whilst John Major wanked off to it in a wardrobe scenario......................

[Dippy]

Got pulled over for not wearing my seatbelt in the 2300s yesterday and the officer said Im glad I had an excuse to pull you over so I can have a good look at your car.

 

A brief warning of not wearing seatbelts turned into a lengthy discussion on old cars.

[Bobthebeard]

Birthday present from Mrs Beard yesterday saw me mostly doing this.....

 

An engineer aboard the steam yacht Gondola on lake Coniston! An hour in the engine room stoking the boiler and oiling things then an hour on the return journey at the helm steering/skippering the thing. All credit to the crew, they did let me do everything rather than just going through the actions. I did actually do all the skippering (?) for an hour, only being relieved of duty around 30 metres from the jetty. Lovely. A fantastic boat lovingly restored.

[quicksilver]

I seem to have really hit the spot with my latest blog article, getting over 400 views since it was published at 11:30 this morning! It's discussing why I think disability discrimination legislation can be a bad thing and how it is damaging the bus industry, and I'm really enjoying the debate it's created on Facebook. Most comments are supportive but there's a couple of troublemakers who keep missing the point and then slagging me off so it's becoming rather fun to defend myself against them. Thanks Andy CMS for sharing it to a wider audience!

 

Why not take a look and join in the debate yourself? http://rustyoldrubbish.blogspot.co.uk/2015/08/is-dda-killing-bus-industry.html

[andy18s]

Land Rover in "not leaking" shock!

 

Dear God, I can almost hear the fizzing as it dissolves from here ! ;-)

[vulgalour]

The only disabled-friendly public transport I've ever seen be successful are the trams in Sheffield.  They can accommodate plenty of people with varying degrees of mobility with some degree of comfort that many busses don't offer and do so affordably and quietly.  Bus design is rubbish, they're difficult for everyone to use now, just trying to find a seat my legs will fit in without fear of destroying my shins is hard enough, let alone trying to get on with more than one carrier bag's worth of shopping.

 

So glad I've got a car, really, trying to do the same jobs on public transport is impossible and taxis are just too expensive.

[DVee8]

Just been to Halford's for wiper blades and DPF cleaner. Blades £18.50ish DPF£9.99 with trade card £17.20ish.

[J-Rod]

I'm going on my stag weekend tomorrow. I'm scared... 

[twosmoke300]

You should be , my liver is still scared now!

[J-Rod]

You should be , my liver is still scared now!

It quivers in anticipation. Not the good sort. Maybe trepidation is a better word. But but but... we are doing this though.. http://www.maxevents.co.uk/bristol/rebel-buggies

 

Don't know how 'ultimate' it will be but I'm sure it'll beat paint-balling any day

[PhillipM]

They're pretty slow - you can barely get them to slide without slinging them in - but fun enough, did that a few years ago on a stag do near Bawtry somewhere.

Spoilsports wouldn't let me bring my own buggy to compete against their 'ultimate' ones either

[purplebargeken]

Done the off-road buggy thing a few years ago. It was ace but got beaten by a former cart racer by 2 seconds. Twat.

 

Actually give me the assault rifle and I'll take it home. The street will be a lot quieter afterwards 

[HH-R]

Me Burns from the Simpsons reviews a car.

 

 

That man has no shame.

"I'll be honest with you, I was... amazed... at all of the £20 notes stuffed round the cabin."

[scaryoldcortina]

Let's all get onto warranty-wise and get quotes for the MG6 then.

[scdan4]

I'm going on my stag weekend tomorrow. I'm scared...

It'll be fine. What could possibly go wrong?

 

(last 1 I went on, we lost the stag. Properly.

 

The one before that the stag got arrested and put in the cells.)

 

Just relax and put your trust in your friends*

[Pillock]

Why did MGUK get a Warranty Dealer to test-drive their car? They should have got some sort of journalist instead, would have been less..... weird. Crass. Cringeworthy. Awful. Carcrash-like. 

[scaryoldcortina]

I wouldn't mind a stag weekend. It's about the only 70's BL chod I've never driven.

[Pete-M]

Just drove from Bridgend to Liverpool not using any motorways until Wrexham.

 

Some brilliant roads, Rhondda across the valleys, to Murky Skip fill, Brecon, Llandingdongbells, and then the fun bits on the 483.

 

Some cracking roads, just wish I'd been driving something a lot less diesel. 59.7 mpg even though the thing had a fair few reminders what a governor does.

[Ghosty]

Busy misspending my youth - and here's a literal grin.

 

Last night I was invited out on a results day do by some folks I know a year younger than me. We went to someone's flat, then a club.

In the club, a friend of mine is randomly handed three open cans of beer, he passes one off to to someone else and one to me.

 

Mine had ecstasy or something in it.

[MarvinsMom]

SWMBO has taken the little gay jeep for its mot this morning.

 

its only gone and passed!

 

i was expecting it to fail in a spectacular many pages worth of faults type way!

 

what a good ol' bus!

 

ok, so the hand brake only just passed, and the other advisories were about the rusty hole in the wing, and a crusty fuel pipe but a pass is a pass.

 

i'm going to buy it a pair of new wings to replace the frilly/crusty ones to celebrate.

[cort16]

Pissed robots are funny

 

[purplebargeken]

Noisy twat neighbours always screaming and shouting. Silenced into submission by repeated tracks from Rammstein played at top volume.

 

Anti-social - yes

 

Did it work - oh yes.

 

Was it fun - hell yeah

[richardmorris]

Just drove from Bridgend to Liverpool not using any motorways until Wrexham.

Some brilliant roads, Rhondda across the valleys, to Murky Skip fill, Brecon, Llandingdongbells, and then the fun bits on the 483.

Some cracking roads, just wish I'd been driving something a lot less diesel. 59.7 mpg even though the thing had a fair few reminders what a governor does.

When did they build a motorway in Wrexham?

 

You don't go home for four weeks and they go and build a damned motorway!

 

On a positive note my parents drove the X1/9 down to Shrewsbury for lunch today at the loch fyne and afternoon at attingham park for their 49th anniversary. I suppose it means I'll have to think of something for them next year though!

[dollywobbler]

Why did MGUK get a Warranty Dealer to test-drive their car? They should have got some sort of journalist instead, would have been less..... weird. Crass. Cringeworthy. Awful. Carcrash-like. 

 

That's what I imagined it'd be like. So I didn't watch it. They should have got Tony Blair to test it. I think I'd be tempted to believe him more than Quent.

[scaryoldcortina]

I suspect they couldn't afford Tony.

[dollywobbler]

I suspect they couldn't afford Tony.

 

I'm amazed they could afford Willson. 

[richardmorris]

It'll be fine. What could possibly go wrong?(last 1 I went on, we lost the stag. Properly.The one before that the stag got arrested and put in the cells.)Just relax and put your trust in your friends*

My brother in law spent his mostly in casualty. They went paint balling ( I wasn't invited) and five minutes in tripped over a log and smacked his face on a log. Lots of blood. Didn't have a single drop of alcohol all day and was worried sick he'd have a thick lip for the wedding the fortnight after.

[scaryoldcortina]

Last time I went paintballing was for a birthday party - Most of our team were ex-military in some way and two of them had just finished a tour in Afghanistan. Our opponents were a stag party from hampshire who were on the way to Newcastle to "experience" the Bigg Market.

 

It was lots of fun. For us.