What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[dome]

Finally sold the Fusion! Made some money off it so all good. What next I wonder...

[meshking]

Few days ago some white paint markers for hole filling appeared on our road.

 

Aha! I thought, got a can of white spray paint and added some of my own markers where the council haven't put them.

 

Contractors came along yesterday and filled them all in

Did you draw a white line around your entire drive?

[Pillock]

I like the idea of a 100hp Panda. There is a dark blue one a few doors down from me that looks pretty funky.

 

Not sure what the reality of living with one would be like.

 

I had a test drive of one, and found them to be a lot of fun when driven at 100%. They grip well, feel quite planted and the engine is buzzy enough.

However, it was also quite disappointing at 99% or below - it was actually quite tiring to drive because unless you were thrashing it, it just became quite a stodgy car with its wide tyres and hard suspension.

 

Also, interior appeared to be made of bits of plastic that Ford discarded from the Ka production line for being too poor quality. 

[beko1987]

Got home tonight and there was a 55er ka parked on the road

 

No visible rust! Nothing bubbling around the filler, sills looked good, even the paintwork was clean and it had the original trims on still that were only slightly kerbed.

 

Now ive not seen one like that for ages, its like morgans, you just dont see them!

[M'coli]

 

 

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Stop taking the TooSavvy pills!

[TimothyClaypole]

Sort of grin, I applied for a job in a scrap yard (dismantlers) late last night and they've rung today asking can I go do a days trial tomorrow.

 

OK might not get paid but it's something to do and it might lead to a job. Only thing is on searching for the place on Google it threw up a few reviews saying the place was shit. OK so the reviews are old but then someone from the yard has replied with shitty answers.

 

Eill go and have a see still but I'm not holding my breath

In Worksop?

[AlabamaShrimp]

In Worksop?

No Dewsbury

[The Moog]

Finally worked out what good is the night panel in Saab.

 

Left Accrington, cruise on 75mph, night panel on so no distractions (aside from abs & brake lights). Made driving enjoyable.

 

Computer says 39.1 mpg (over 230miles) as well which isn't too shabby.

[xtriple]

This is more of a grin for you lot: Today, I was asked to be a model!

 

No, I am not deranged (any more than usual that is) and it really did happen! For a magazine no less and I will be paid for having my piccy taken.

 

Note, it is not a magazine called ' SAGA, the mag for elderly gimmers with walking sticks and wrinkles' it is a mag on photography.  The photographer has used my mutts for a previous mag edition so I know he's kosher and not after my furry starfish. I will be in black and white and I've stated that the bugger had better make me look good or there'll be fucking trouble!

[Noel Tidybeard]

realising some twunt is fly tipping across the road and papping his wagon without him noticing- council informed within 30 mins

[beko1987]

 

Ticked over to this just now, and handily came to a stop at a roundabout so took a nice picture rather than the blurred 65mph one a few moments before...

[daveb47]

Just watched 3x Spitfires,2x Hurricanes in formation followed by Spitfire & Eurofighter Typhoon in Battle of Britain markings do half a dozen circuits low above my house,closely followed by another 3 Typhoons.

Off to do Battle of Britain flypast in London.

 

Seems strange to think that Spit was probably flying flat out while Typhoon was flying as slow as it could go.

 

[seth]

The four Typhoons flew over us about 5 minutes ago.

 

Typhoons can go quite slowly....

 

[jakebullet]

Spotted my first stretch limo mobility scooter today. It looked a bit like this:

Though being Barnsley it had a fat knacker on the back concentrating on chain smoking. These things are also 6 grand, so prolly stolen too.

[fordperv]

6k for that, what the actual fuck

[Pillock]

I've just popped down to Costco in the Saab - cruising down the dual carrigeway there's the unmistakable aroma of poorly engine, smells like hot oil and I can see a haze in the distance.

 

Also, I'm following a Lamborghini.

 

These two facts are not unrelated. Up ahead this is guffing out loads of smoke on overrun, and generally sounds awful. As I went past with the roof down, it honestly sounded like a diesel.

 

 

K420LMM, it turns out after the event, is a Toyota MR2. A knackered MR2. As I turned right and he left, he indicated and pulled over to the side of the road. 45 minutes later as I went back, he was still there - causing about 5 miles of tailbacks up the A46.

 

Edit: Mrs_Pillock apologises for including a wingmirror, and therefore her tit in the photo.

[michael1703]

my phone conversation with a head of finance for fis global today

 

long story short, its a company that provides credit card terminals

 

I ran rings round this muppet, pointed out where they had fucked up, put words in her mouth where she admitted their rep had lied to me and all in a recorded phone conversation

[The Moog]

Nothing quite as a car you like on roads you know. Playing with 9-5 on roads round Heathrow.

 

Giving it some in second gear off a roundabout makes me grin.

 

Very much a successor to my old 900. A pretty quick GT car that you can walk the dog in.

 

Stereo up to 11

 

Now looking at bigger exhaust to relive my yoof.

[twosmoke300]

I haven't forgot about the down pipe . Btw only 3rd gear and above gets full boost

[The Moog]

I was enjoying third as well, but want to keep my licence.

 

Wish leather seats weren't so slippery mind

[fred]

Hate Tennis, Hate that over hyped scruffy arsed twat Murray which the English have adopted as we cant be arsed to lob balls over nets in a decent manner

Annnd he lost, thank fuck for that, no more of this flag waving Murray fever bollocks....

Toss pot

[dollywobbler]

Was a beautiful match though judging by the highlights. And we've got The Ashes on as well. I think I'm more of a sport fan than I thought I was. Just don't talk to be about F1, because it's shite.

[Pillock]

Last weeks F1 was OK!

Might be biased by free tickets, hospitality area, free lunch, and a minibus service around the inside of the circuit but..... I enjoyed it

[andy18s]

The latest memo from The Management

 

C Chambers is 1 of the directors ffs.......

[Keymaster]

 

Sent from my GT-S6810P using Tapatalk

[forddeliveryboy]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efPH1aGyi6Y

[xtriple]

We (myself and the mutts) had our 'photoshoot' today. Fuck me, don't pro fotografers take some fucking time setting things up! We have faffed and fannied about for the best part of three hours while cameras have lenses changed, lights have different filters and screens are moved, changed, moved again and then changed... and so on.

 

200 odd pictures were taken though and not a single lense was cracked by my ugly countenance!

 

However, you ever tried to keep three (yes, the photo type person brought his dog as well!) hyperactive mutts amused for three hours? Bones have been consumed, balls played with (of the tennis variety!) and occasionally, a dog has been persuaded to co-operate and have its picture taken! As the day wore on and the dogs got more pissed off, so they actually did what was wanted (tired, bored and hot by then) and the shoot was roundly declared to be a success.

 

I am a natural!

 

Or so I am told. Mean, moody and magnificent. But, holding a cigarette and getting the smoke 'just right' was the hardest work I've done in fucking years! It had to 'cascade' which completely escaped me and I have chain smoked half a packet of gaspers and I've got a sore throat!

 

It was, strangely, fun!

 

A totally unplanned sequence of shots came about while I was trying to get Chester to behave (never easy at the best of times) and we ended up having a 'snogging' session - he loves his Daddy and kisses me at every opportunity. By careful timing (on photo takers part) a series of nose to nose pictures were acquired without actual kissing and even I thought they looked good  

 

I shall look forward to seeing the magazine spread where we appear, though the doggy ones will be separate and possibly in a different issue. We shall see.

 

We are 'superstars' and £100 richer! I expect more respect from you 'oiks'  in future or there will be full blown 'Diva' behaviour coming your way!

[DSdriver]

Do we (your major fan base) get to see the pics? 

[DSdriver]

I walked out the front door this afternoon just as a Bristol 403 was passing the front gate. Surprised or what.

[The Moog]

I may be the new owner of a pug 205 that is overheating. 

 

Bought it for my brother as his first car, then it was passed on to a family friend. He wants rid so offered £100 for it. He is mulling it over.