What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[richardmorris]

I've a nice recipe for duck breasts with rhubarb confit.

[Pillock]

Mrs_Pillock took the Touran for an MOT this morning - it passed, just two advisories for tyres which I knew about and will sort after payday. However, that is not the grin. The grin was this text.

 

Got to go to a meeting in Melton. Guess I'll have to take the MG! Hehehe

 

First bit of sunshine and she takes the floppytop to work! Well played

[Inspector Morose]

And lo, the banking planets hath aligned and monies were transferred to the seller of ye olde Rover. Collection of said beast hath been arranged for Friday. Ones constitution has lightened somewhat.

[fordperv]

This is in at a mates garage this morning for a mot, check out the door mirrors!

 

 

Wow that is a beige wet dream right there, I remember when mcr used to sell the cossy type skirts and archs for the 5 door, shame the front archs aren't fitted right causing the front bumper to sit incorrectly, doesn't looking bad shape though

[wuvvum]

I'm not suggesting that Mrs. Cros used to live in a poor area, but she told me today that when she bought bread at the local shop they would ask how many slices she wanted.

That's nothing. When I were a lad we were so poor we had to wank the dog to feed the cat.

[fred]

That's nothing. When I were a lad we were so poor we had to wank the dog to feed the cat.

Thats Nothing When I were a lad we had to wank the dog to feed the cat to use the cat shit as spread on our sammies

[MrDuke]

That's nowt, when I were young we had to wank the dog to lube us CV joints.

[Inspector Morose]

CV joints? You were lucky. (Insert northern stereotype comment about the basic ness of their childhood here)

[STUNO]

When I was young bread was 3d for a loaf but you had to slice it yourself and if you were poor you could buy 1/2 a loaf.

 

Went to the Doc. this morning, the mag I picked out was some cort of classic cars one dated 1987, Inside the front cover was a full page ad for Mercedes 190's, best buy because they won't depreciate. Two year old ones were down about 7000 pounds from the price of new ones in the same ad. that is at '87 prices , 17000 for new ones. There was also a road test of a Bugatti Royale, but I was not waiting long enough to read that !

[cros]

What's a CV joint?

[Asimo]

What's a CV joint?

A load of balls.

[320touring]

A load of balls.

That depends on your bearing..

[gm]

I awoke to a note stuck on a bottle of windowlene requesting* that I clean the house windows. Pondering for a moment that you never see the professions fannying on with mr muscle, I sought an alternative. a bucket of hot water and fairy liquid was located but where would I find a 'squeegee' ? attached to the front of the honda, that's where - it turns out that the short passenger side wiper blade does the job perfectly and I now have more time to muck around with the mazda

[D Spares & Tyres]

Wow that is a beige wet dream right there, I remember when mcr used to sell the cossy type skirts and archs for the 5 door, shame the front archs aren't fitted right causing the front bumper to sit incorrectly, doesn't looking bad shape though

I would definately buy that. return it to bog standard condition then make some cash from the cossie bits

[xtriple]

Had a fairly grin filled day today!

 

First off, I slept well and woke up feeling a million times better than the day before.

Secondly, the sun has got its hat on and is shining warm rays down upon me/us.

 

So I took the dogs off to the park for a romp, and Phoebe managed a whole walk without injuring herself! No, she didn't roll down the bank (she did the other day!) and hurt her back, nor did she chew a stick that got stuck in her gum (did that the previous time!) or otherwise hurt herself in any way. This, is amazing!

 

Fourthly, Chester behaved his bloody self and 'cos I used 'foresight' I put him on his lead 100 yards before he saw the car so the little bastard couldn't run away when he realised we were going home (which he does EVERY sodding time!).

 

Fifth, ran into a lass I haven't seen for ages and had a decent chat with her... she told me I was 'looking well' that may be a euphemism for 'fat' but it cheered me up.

 

Six, when I got home, the bloke next door who has been a right miserable twat for the last six months (reported me to the RSPCA for neglecting my bloody dogs!) came out to talk to me and was... pleasant! He even told me to park outside his house as there was nowhere else to park and he usually guards that spot with his life! He even moved his car so I could.... what the fuck is going on?

[dollywobbler]

Community bus duty today. Wandered into town and saw this.

 

Wandering town amongst the scantily clad must go down as a grand way to spend one's day. Apologies for the letchy overtones.

[Bobthebeard]

Had a fairly grin filled day today!

 

First off, I slept well and woke up feeling a million times better than the day before.

Secondly, the sun has got its hat on and is shining warm rays down upon me/us.

 

So I took the dogs off to the park for a romp, and Phoebe managed a whole walk without injuring herself! No, she didn't roll down the bank (she did the other day!) and hurt her back, nor did she chew a stick that got stuck in her gum (did that the previous time!) or otherwise hurt herself in any way. This, is amazing!

 

Fourthly, Chester behaved his bloody self and 'cos I used 'foresight' I put him on his lead 100 yards before he saw the car so the little bastard couldn't run away when he realised we were going home (which he does EVERY sodding time!).

 

Fifth, ran into a lass I haven't seen for ages and had a decent chat with her... she told me I was 'looking well' that may be a euphemism for 'fat' but it cheered me up.

 

Six, when I got home, the bloke next door who has been a right miserable twat for the last six months (reported me to the RSPCA for neglecting my bloody dogs!) came out to talk to me and was... pleasant! He even told me to park outside his house as there was nowhere else to park and he usually guards that spot with his life! He even moved his car so I could.... what the fuck is going on?

Maybe you are actually still asleep...... Dreaming....? 😀

[dave21478]

It seems that the local roads dept have got some new toys.....

 

 

Yeah, thats 5 MASSIVE circular saws on the arm, used for chopping overhanging tree branches.

Following it was the biggest wood chipper I have seen, with another arm to chuck the fallen branches into the feed hopper.

 

Ideal for your zombie apocalypse needs.

 

 

 

[MrDuke]

On my way to the shops earlier, and at the end of the lane was a stonking great 3.2T trolley jack, upside down in the middle of the road. I assume it had fallen off a truck, although I suppose it might have been hurled away in rage after mangling someone's finger. I had a quick look around, then hoisted it onto the back seat of the Fez. Much hilarity ensued when a car came up behind me (no passing space) and I simultaneously realised that the jack handle didn't detach, so I spent several seconds frantically yanking and wriggling it like a spaz before giving up and sticking it out of the side window. I feel a bit bad for whoever dropped it, so I'll probably drop into the garage in the village tomorrow and tell them I've found it. Perhaps.

 

tl;dr - I've found a free bad-ass replacement for my crappy Halfords trolley jack.

[richardmorris]

It seems that the local roads dept have got some new toys.....

 

1.jpg

 

Yeah, thats 5 MASSIVE circular saws on the arm, used for chopping overhanging tree branches.

 

Following it was the biggest wood chipper I have seen, with another arm to chuck the fallen branches into the feed hopper.

2.jpg

 

Ideal for your zombie apocalypse needs.

I saw one of those combinations in France year before last. I remember saying to myself that the French have no translation for health and safety!

[andy18s]

It seems that the local roads dept have got some new toys.....

 

1.jpg

 

Yeah, thats 5 MASSIVE circular saws on the arm, used for chopping overhanging tree branches.

Following it was the biggest wood chipper I have seen, with another arm to chuck the fallen branches into the feed hopper.

2.jpg

 

Ideal for your zombie apocalypse needs.

Can you imagine the paperwork that would need filling out to even get that Into the UK  ????

The Hi-Viz brigrade would have a fit !

[TimothyClaypole]

Cheque in the post today for £600 - the rest of my insurance excess, not too bad seeing as the knob crashed into me 3 months ago.    

 

Appointment next Friday with the AA shysters about other stuff, feet dragging to bump up their fees 100%.

[Ghosty]

Spotted a Daihatsu Midget in the wild today!

Shame I didn't have chance to get a pic.

[jakebullet]

Playing silly sods with the Ma, idiot sister's grass and petrol lawnmowers.

 

Ma had the later alloy engine one in the background. I had the cast iron more knackered one. Hers is faster, but likes to randomly conk out at idle. Mine idles perfectly, but smokes like a bastard, is down on compression and slower.

 

The winner wasn't the grass.

 

[D Spares & Tyres]

Community bus duty today. Wandered into town and saw this.

 

Wandering town amongst the scantily clad must go down as a grand way to spend one's day. Apologies for the letchy overtones.

Thats what sunglasses are for.........

 

I recognise that view. Aberwhiffwhiff as my ex used to call it

[KruJoe]

.

 

That's one MASSIVE pane of glass he's carrying. (sideways)

[Partridge]

Got a job I applied for. Will be in the market for a f**ked Jag at last. Happy.

[Bren]

Spotted in the Widnes branch of Halfords was the following public information notice-

 

"Radiator Leak products should be added to the vehicles cooling system, not the engine oil"

 

People really are as thick as fuck.

[andy18s]

My favourite was the fiat 500 add where the cars drive onto the sea,and reappear in another country....

At the bottom of the screen,in small print,is the advice to "please do not attempt this yourself".........Epic stuff

[oldcars]

Spotted in the Widnes branch of Halfords was the following public information notice-

 

"Radiator Leak products should be added to the vehicles cooling system, not the engine oil"

 

People really are as thick as fuck.

Shit, i have been putting it in the fuel tank.........................