What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[ProgRocker]

Watching this makes me grin...   

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgDJvGb6Ibg

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Everythng about that video just makes me want to kill myself. Whats the point in even carrying on, it seems a massive waste of time

[cort16]

Avan a good time.

So I went to pick the Avantime up tonight. It was all pretty painless other than I had to walk a mile and a half to the train station this morning then for reasons I'm not entirely clear about I agree to meet the seller at the top of a big massive hill!

Anyway he picked me up in his new Avantime, which is a 3 litre v6 and previously owned by John Barryman of all things. He took me back to his gaff were money and paper was exchanged. He's a proper Renner fan hadidn't seem too keen to hand over the keys and had obviously spent some quality  time with it the night before as he'd cleaned and polished it for my arrived. MINT!

It's amazingly clean other than a couple of very small lumps in the bonnet, some bubbling on the a-pillers and a bit on the door that looks like it;s been attacked with wire wool.

 

Initial driving thoughts are OMG IT'S ENORMOUS!  But once you get over that it's pretty nice. It's a 2.0T with six speed gearbox so cruises a long on the motorway nicely although there's a clunk coming from somewhere .I dunno if it's a strut top or goosed bush or if it's just  some loose trim (it's a renault it's all plausable). It seems pretty pokey although I've not really pushed it for fear of it blowing up. I had it up to 72mph on my private test track and nothing fell off or rattled excessively.

 

Everthing works on it. Well when I say everything one of the wing mirrors doesn't work and the bulb on the rev counter doesn't light up but mostly good.

The interior is full of bins, pockets and drawers all of, which are useless. If you put your phone in there you can;t see it and if you put your drink in their it'll fall over spilling hot coffee into delicate french electrics. I've decided just to fill all mine with jammy dodger biscuits.

There is absolutely no leg room in the back seats. They've built what's basically an Espace coupe but there's no room in the back at all. The boot is massive too but I think the rear seats are restricted by the shape of the boot.  They basically didn;t give a fuck. The guy I got it off said some of it is really good quality (built by matra) and the stuff that isn't and breaks always has a renault stamp on it.

 

Here's some picturz

 

IMG_1341 by cort16, on Flickr

 

IMG_1343 by cort16, on Flickr

 

Bendy

 

IMG_1345 by cort16, on Flickr

 

IMG_1344 by cort16, on Flickr

 

Avantime frieeeeeeend

 

IMG_1348 by cort16, on Flickr

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Jesus look at that interior, is it the best interior of all time??? Surely can't be far off

[cort16]

If you like drawers this is the interior for you.

 

The rear is laughable who know what they were thinking. I'll take a picture tomorrow . The rear seats take a weird step up just to make sure you have no head room in a car that stands over 5 foot tall.

[Honey Badger]

coming back from a pub lunch yesterday saw a 5 series parked up with front fogs on........so obviously the driver is a cock.

 

Then saw male driver and his bird........bird had camera and was saying 'c'mon hurry up' as she encouraged him to stand in the front of the road name sign.

 

Road is Bell End

 

 

I work just off Bell End!

[Spiny Norman]

Excellent choice as an antidote for a mega reliable* BMW dizzler.
I love the way the doors open on these, a really clever bit of design. Does it do the 'one button press and all the windows and roof disappear' trick?

[Gerald]

Took Mrs Gerald's mums 900cc+/-, 54 reg DiShitzu Charade to the Yorkshire Show and back today.

Loaded with close on half it's weight in pax, it went like slightly tacky, aged weasel shit off a shovel. But once it was singing, the three pot beast cruised at nearly twice the motorway speed limit (well, 55mph less than twice the limit)…

In fifth, 3000 rpm at 78 mph pulling ^up^ to Bramham on the A1, we overtook a Posh Boxer with a lone fat, middle aged blurk driving it in the middle lane, doing less than 78mph.

 

DiShitzu Charade <1000cc - 1

Posh Boxer >1000cc - 0

[cort16]

Excellent choice as an antidote for a mega reliable* BMW dizzler.

I love the way the doors open on these, a really clever bit of design. Does it do the 'one button press and all the windows and roof disappear' trick?

Yes it does and it's pretty awesome . Defo it's best feature .

[Jim Bergerac]

I'd love an Avantime. That looks great. There's a bloke near me who's had two in recent years. Truly an answer to questions no one asked which is what makes them so awesome.

 

I also guarantee* that this will give less grief than your BMW collection did.

 

 

(*Guarantee not legally binding.)

[Cavcraft]

One of the good things about Autoshite is that other people can live the dream for you and buy cars that you love, but are shit scared of. That Avantime is pure class.

[Cavcraft]

49.7887982698 mpg out of the Vectra! If it ran on veg oil I'd be a weekend millionaire.

[garethj]

OOOOH - I used to work just round the corner from Taylor Made, they had got rid of the avantimes by then (2007), presumably just after the warranties had expired and before the big bills started to loom.

I don't really move in corporate circles, but if I ran my own company I'd love to have a fleet of Avantimes or something.  It tells the world that

 

a. You appreciate fine design

b. You're fully up to speed with writing off depreciation and running costs against profit, to minimise your tax payment

c. You've got a fleet manager who works 2 shifts plus overtime.

[alf892]

I work just off Bell End!

That'll be Scott Bader then?

 

I used to go in to inspect the 'community' minibuses and trucks/trailers a few years ago. Seemed like a good place to work and they even had a motor club on site where the company provided a workshop??

[cort16]

As I said there's not a lot of room in the back especially given the size of the car.

 

IMG_1351 by cort16, on Flickr

 

IMG_1352 by cort16, on Flickr

 

If you grew up in the 80's it's impossible for not be a sucker for a digital dash.

 

IMG_1354 by cort16, on Flickr

 

Windows go up, windows go down, windows go up windows go down repeat infinity.

 

IMG_1353 by cort16, on Flickr

[Honey Badger]

That'll be Scott Bader then?

 

I used to go in to inspect the 'community' minibuses and trucks/trailers a few years ago. Seemed like a good place to work and they even had a motor club on site where the company provided a workshop??

 

Yeah Scott Bader, still a good place to work even if most people here complain like fook about it, we still have a community minibus, a Citroen Relay, not as much fun to drive as the old tranist smiley faces we used to have. All of the other transport is now done by external contractors now so we dont have our own Lorries and trailers anymore.

 

The SB car club, it's got a new 4 point hoist in the glorified tin shed, which is fine if you can get in there past all the "classics" being rebuilt over what appears to be the entire 18years I've worked here.

 

But only book a space in the car club if you enjoy working with the invigorating aroma of rat piss wafting around the building.

 

Still can't complain, there is not many places that provide those kind of services for the people who work there.

[scruff]

I used to work in Wollaston and had no idea SB had a car club!!

[scruff]

Just sat at home doing some computaR work and Bergerac is on telly. The crims have just nicked a Ford D series lorry 

[beko1987]

Saw a lovely orange scimitar on the way home from work today! Looked mint. Think it was an s reg (old s reg obv)

[anonymous user]

Just sat at home doing some computaR work and Bergerac is on telly. The crims have just nicked a Ford D series lorry 

If that's the episode I think, the one criminal went on to become the son-in-law (Barry) of chod botherer Wesley in Last of the Summer Wine

[vulgalour]

People in other diesels expressing concern at my 94p a litre fuel.  People in other diesels paying £1.40 per litre at the pump.  People in other diesels confused by the smell of chips from my car.  The Xantia makes me feel like a winner and makes me want a fish and chips dinner.

[dome]

I'll be back in the land of veg oil powered cars too, just bought a Mk1 Octavia Tdi. Needs some work to get it road ready then I'll be watching the cheap veg oil thread...

[dollywobbler]

The Avantime is truly the Citroen SM of the 21st century. Utterly pointless, horrible to be in the back of but utterly magnificent. I really want one.

[Richard]

I'm going to give this a go. WCPGW?

 

[320touring]

I'll be back in the land of veg oil powered cars too, just bought a Mk1 Octavia Tdi. Needs some work to get it road ready then I'll be watching the cheap veg oil thread...

I believe it's also partial to the evry mod... BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSST

[Wilko220]

Probably the most surprising car I have seen sporting pressed steel plates!

 

[fordperv]

Mrs fordperv has told me she has sort of agreed with a woman she works with for me to have her late fathers Renault 5 which he owned from 1 year old and apparently is really good condition, the only downside is the woman is indecisive about getting rid of it, it needs an exhaust and the m.o.t has run out, apparently it has leather interior????? I Didn't even know you could get a 5 posh enough with leather lol she didn't mention a reg or year but we will see what happens, fingers crossed

[Ghosty]

5 with leather? It's probably a Monaco, - about '89 probably. It's probably a 3 door, and brown with beige leather! 

Sounds like a winner 

[Parky]

If its a Manual it will be a tasty 1.7 litre model so fairly feisty. If its an auto, it will be a 1.4 - indestructible engine but I think Renault autos of the time were a bit dubious.

 

Monaco models are very nice, think of them as Renaults 1990's homage to the Allegro VanDen Plas

[fordperv]

Sweet, I don't really know much about them hopefully she will part with it as she knows I'm a car nut and will return it to the road instead of it sitting there

 

Wcpgw