What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[mouseflakes]

for twats like that I would invest in

 

 

then sprinkle liberally on roof and bonnet of afore mentioned twats motor when returning from an evening of light refreshment at the local boozer 

 

Or you could put a dog turd in an empty mastic tube and (under cover of darkness) pop a quick squirt into their fresh air intake slots at the top of the bonnet. Do you think they'd ever work out where the stench is coming from inside the car?

 

Wouldn't want get to get caught while leaving the deposit though. Probably even more embarassing to be caught while collecting it.

 

Can you tell I've given this some thought?

[drum]

You need a tow bar.

[Richard]

I did fit a towbar to the 940, I was hoping he wouldn't notice but he did.

 

In a way I'm bringing myself down to his level by deliberately parking just ever so slightly over the border but it does amuse me. Sometimes he parks slightly on "my" side if he gets home first but I just park a normal distance away from his car, I bet that annoys him even more

[richardthestag]

sounds like a grade a wanker and one to be humoured and ridiculed.

 

is that all he does or does it get better?

 

when I was a lad a neighbour enjoyed letting his aged lab run through all the front gardens, it regularly took a dump on dads or our neighbours lawn.

 

We all protested but the dog carried on dumping.

 

We had a dog and my bro and I were responsible for clearing shit up in our garden and this frequently included afore mentioned labs stool. After a school trip to France I found myself custodian of a significant number of French bangers of various sizes.

 

My brother armed with a bucket full of shit and me with a pocket full of bangers and a single swan vesta formulated a plan, we walked down the road to the home of the lab. parked the bucket upside down on the immaculate lawn. it really was a magnificent mountain of effluent. I produced a single banger about the size of a roll of polos from my pocket and wedged it into the festering pile, then gave my brother the match.

 

No sooner had I given it did I start running, he struck and lit the fuse. Now anyone familiar with these things will understand that the fuse can last anything between 2 seconds and 15 at best. bro started running and was barely at the kerb when the most almighty explosion rocked the neighbourhood. birds squawking, a distant dog barking and my brother laughing stupidly. we both ran all the way home and into the back garden. It was at this point that I noticed his back, head to toe was splattered with speckles of dog shit.

 

A mighty victory we agreed as we stuffed his clothes into the washing machine to destroy the evidence.

 

Of course all hell broke loose, perpetrator of the ubiquitous turd and owner of aged lab was banging on doors up and down the street raising hell and threatening to call the police. A copper did in fact live 3 doors away, my brother and I were bricking it. Dad went to have a look and was astonished to find the quiet pretty white rendered suburban house splattered with a large volume of shit. it was right up into the eaves.

 

Dad instinctively knew who did it but didn't let on, our neighbour also had a pretty good idea. the cops never showed up and the shit remained on the front of the house above ground level for some time.

 

From that point forwards the lab had his walkies on a leash.

 

Maybe something creative like this is called for?

[Pillock]

 

Just need to fill it now!

[MrDuke]

 

[Richard]

sounds like a grade a wanker and one to be humoured and ridiculed.

 

 

That's about the size of it- no real harm, just a massive fud. He would probably make trouble if I gave him the chance but I don't.

[drum]

Park another car tight behind him so that he has to shunt back and forth a dozen times to get out.

[daveb47]

http://www.darkroastedblend.com/2013/10/worlds-strangest-vehicles-part-5.html

 

[DVee8]

Young Gav my 21year old trainee at work,who passed his driving test around this time last year and went out to buy a 13 plate corsa.

He has decided that he needs a new car as all his mates have "flash cars" read debt.

A Golf GTI, Vauxhall Astra VXR,  Focus ST or a BMW 3.

The Astra that's what i want he says how much is one of them then? About 27k.For an astra say i.

 

Now i know i should talk him out of it as he is going to get dry raped by the finance company but fuck it his money

So next day he comes in i'm not getting the astra he says,im going for an Audi A4 s-line 2.0 diesel.Fucking how much?

 

Do you do enough mile to buy a new diesel  say i. Yeah i do loads he says, What mileage has the corsa got in a year then i say?

 

6k he says.  I go and buy a new diesel then.

[Pillock]

Aaah but without people like him, cheap repossessions at auction wouldn't exist.

[Spiny Norman]

When I was a kid I still understood that you couldn't just blow your entire wages on owning a car. I had responsibilities, there were other things in life that had to be paid for too.

Things like women, beer, records etc.

[outlaw118]

This is noisy, shouty, and moderately disturbing. I like it.

[hairnet]

321 was on again two prizes left they rejected ownership of a greyhound for two years all winnings to them

 

for

 

 

A PEA GREEN RELIANT KITTEN !!!!!11111ONE1!!!!11111111

 

wonder if its still alive as it was 1978

[hairnet]

Park another car tight behind him so that he has to shunt back and forth a dozen times to get out.

 

tell him his house is mortgaged and as such doesnt own the road outside or indeed the house..........

 

that happened to us (we live near manu so permit parking some fud parked across (slightly next door)

 

they were too scared to be able to drive in the driveway

 

we solid towbarred the car out off the way onto the main rd (about 500ft)

 

word must have spread - it didnt happen again

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

I bought that eBay DVD of old catalogue scans as recommended by Junkman a few pages ago. It's great. 

 

Particular interest is how the 1974 John Noble catalogue is able to sell you, in addition to underwear and towels, a Stromberg twin carb conversion for your Anglia 105E. Or a remote gear link conversion kit for your Mini 850. There's some great stuff in the 77/78 Green Shield Stamps catalogue, including a Fiesta 950. Unfortunately it's the only item listed without a price, but since a set of mole grips cost 4.5 books of stamps, I imagine Jack Cohen himself couldn't amass enough stamps to buy it. 

[inconsistant]

Reading through my old man's interesting* aviation history books I found this old aeroplane, which has a viewing balcony at the front.

Genius!

 

 

 

 

[Spiny Norman]

Worked out the result of a proper 200 mile 'brim to brim' fuel consumption check on the 240 today, handy to know since the fuel gauge is the typical old Volvo 'some, lots, maybe, ask me again tomorrow...' affair.
I'm getting 31mpg from the old bus, which isn't too shabby.

[HillmanImp]

From B3ta.

 

[dome]

If you're looking for a quality video with some bonus old chod then step this way.

 

Disclaimer:Not safe for anyone to view

 

[spike60]

The last 240 Volvo I had had a red section on the fuel gauge marked R    O. This appeared to stand for Run Out as you already had before the needle got there.

[hairnet]

black chod want

[vulgalour]

Was at Stoneleigh for the MG-Triumph(Standard) thing and was invited to sit in a real life actual Swallow Doretti.  I'm still very excited about this, I only found out about these cars last year, probably through this forum, and to actually see one in the tin let alone be encouraged by the owner to sit in the driving seat was pretty awesome.

 

Chesire Cat mode: engaged!

[hairnet]

If you're looking for a quality video with some bonus old chod then step this way.

 

Disclaimer:Not safe for anyone to view

 

cross between bourne resovoir dogs sweeney bond and medal of honour

 

wow

[Mr Lobster]

Been raining all day (again) but that's not what made me grin. Went out to the bin and found this little fella sat on the doorstep sheltering from the rain...

 

 

Gonna have to get the wife on with cleaning the doorframe tomorrow mind.

[Skizzer]

321 was on again two prizes left they rejected ownership of a greyhound for two years all winnings to them

 

for

 

 

A PEA GREEN RELIANT KITTEN !!!!!11111ONE1!!!!11111111

 

wonder if its still alive as it was 1978

 

Maybe it's this one from my spotting thread last week...

 

Reliant Kitten by Skizzer, on Flickr

[DeeJay]

^^^Is that the one that  belonged to the Jewish snitch?

 

Mo the grass,

 

I'll get me coat.

[beko1987]

 

[beko1987]

O yea, and spotting this whilst rolling a fag leaving the above place i visited

 

 

Cant find the spotted thread. I R Lazy

[DSdriver]

The landlord of the pub over the road from me (which we call "The Shed" due to its shiplap timber cladding) was spotted today using his Jaaag (standard publican issue) to go up to the newsagents and back. A round trip of some 300yds. This was not good for either of them especially as he was probably going to get more ciggies and he "could do with" the exercise.