What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[autofive]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-14403432

 

this is cracking me up tonight

[autofive]

"You bought radioactive materials on ebay?"

 

 

(Dim question that, as is typical for what passes for reporting today on government-controlled media. There being at least 4 or 5 thousand household, sporting, and medical products with "radioactive materials" in them. What's she think she's got here? Chemical Ali or Dr. Oppenheimer? FFS! )

 

according to other news sources, he maintains a blog and announced the arrest online, thats how the story got out to uk press.

 

needs to clean his cooker too

[chaseracer]

Split the atom in the kitchen? He'd need a bloody sharp knife...

[Cavcraft]

To be honest if he's been trying something daft like that I would expect all his knives were red hot anyway.

[trigger]

http://www.darlingtonandstocktontimes.c ... ed_record/

 

Coffee powered powered Sd1!

[Pete-M]

http://www.darlingtonandstocktontimes.co.uk/news/9176035.Caffeine_powered__Express_o__car_prepares_to_break_land_speed_record/

 

Coffee powered powered Sd1!

 

Bloody hell, a '74 SD1? Must be a time machine!

[ashmicro]

Jim Naughtie was trying to read the story about the Swedish "nuclear physicist" this morning, and just about managed it. I could hear the goggle-eyed Evan Divs sniggering in the background too.

[pdg]

MOTs...

 

See my "Is it shite" thread for details

[cort16]

I like looking through the misc items for sale section on gumtree and I found this shitting great bloody orangutang for sale.

Look at the size of the bloody thing!

http://www.gumtree.com/p/for-sale/6ft-oranutangmonkey/85449546#gallery-item-full-1

[brammy777]

Going to Worthing for a few days and finding a Colt GTO a few doors down, whaaaaaaaat!

[wuvvum]

A C-plate Talbot Solara is considerably quicker than an 06-plate Astra CDTi. Even one driven by a bellend hell-bent on forcing his way past on a blind bend because the car in front of him is more than ten years old.

 

Talbot. GR8 4 turning grumps into grins.

[Cavcraft]

Check out the question asked on this eBay listing...

 

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll? ... TQ:GB:1123

 

..is it just me who thinks he's some sort of weirdo?

[Vin]

It's certainly a very obscure fetish.....Ottersport instruction cover GIRLZ

[barefoot]

Posted here because I never post here & if my friend should ever look chances are it will be long gone etc.

 

Nipped in to visit a friend who I'd not seen for a year or two. Apparently amongst her shite, she spent £3,000 on a Nissan Micra, she'd never had electric windows before & was thrilled with its sophistication, until the day that she (22ish) had parked it just a bit further down the hill than normal.

I understand that it had a clever ignition "thing" that one just had to have about ones person, get in, push the button,

until the day that it all went wrong...

 

So, phone accidentally left in the kitchen, car a few hundred yards further away than normal.

 

Jumped in car, (remotey thing in pocket) button pushed, car makes spluttery noise.

Emergency key thing in & twisted, car makes spluttery noise for a bit and then makes no more noise at all.

Doors won't open,

Windows won't wind down

Panic starts to set in

 

Kill Bill moment - how would Uma deal with this & get out of car - she'd kick out the cheapest window

the passenger side door window!

15 minutes of gay, girly kicking later - (she was wearing pumps)

window intact, but door later revealed to be bent outwards at the top!

 

Then chap with dog strolls past...

 

Friend screams & bangs her palms on windscreen which promptly shatters!

 

Bloke with dawg potters along looking worried, 'All right Pet?'

 

"Please tell bloke at number 37 etc"

 

Chap knocks at number 37...

 

"there's a disturbed looking woman claims she's stuck in a Micra at the bottom of the hill etc.

 

So, car taken to garage, unable to diagnose fault,

Car taken to second garage, unable to diagnose fault

Car taken to Nissan dealer, unable to diagnose fault,

Bills now £2,000

 

Car Scrapped - £5,000 Loss

 

I was horrified

[trigger]

We had a Micra with that keyless ignition, I'm glad we got shot of it, it was a consent worry that it would go wrong one day and all end in tears.

[Rocket88]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-14403432

 

this is cracking me up tonight

 

Don't know why he bothered with all that stuff. Stick 3 accountants in a room with a hammer.............[15 years of admin support at 2 accountantcy practices has proved beyond doubt that the little darlings can break ANYTHING!]

[chaseracer]

We had a Micra with that keyless ignition, I'm glad we got shot of it, it was a consent worry that it would go wrong one day and all end in tears.

Same here. The Clio bits were starting to fail, and an injector on the Renault DCi motor was on the way out.

 

Sayonara!

[trigger]

I'm happy as I've just sold the Escort, A nice chap with a moustache just came up from Newport in South Wales, He really liked it, gave me what i wanted for it and left a happy man.

 

I'm sure it will be looked after as he was a older chap who also owns a concourse S1 Turbo worth £9000!

[Guest]

I am in Sweden with family.

 

It is great. Going to a massive car show tomorrow so will get a ton of pictures.

[trigger]

I'm just been to the king of Autoshites house again. I'd imagine that Angry Dicky would have been overcome with excitement there as well.

 

Photos shortly. (if they ever upload... )

[Angrydicky]

I'd imagine that Angry Dicky would have been overcome with excitement there as well.

 

 

Wuvvum, Bickle or Bo11ox? Can't wait

[wuvvum]

I'd imagine that Angry Dicky would have been overcome with excitement there as well.

 

 

Wuvvum, Bickle or Bo11ox? Can't wait

I R NOT TEH KING.

 

I'm curious to see who Trigbert is talking about. Last night I was at the house of a gentleman who has a strong claim to the title of King of Shite. He owns two Tagoras FFS. That's got to take some beating.

[r.welfare]

Ah - the Solara collection run! Hope it went well.

[mattblack]

I went to Rootes Arrow's mate's place this afternoon to grab some bits off this before it met it's maker...

 

 

As I was leaving a 'H' reg Volvo flatbed (F6?) pulled up with a Ford Cargo chassis cab on the back and a Cargo box van on a towing pole.

 

GR8 4 GETTIN A TUG OFF VOSA.

[Guest]

I went for a bit of a walk around the local area near my family's pad in Hasselby after tea. It turns out it's a bit of a shite goldmine, and I haven't even got to the Bilfest yet.

 

If I can get the D70 to work with my netbook I will post some pics up. Also, the weather is amazing.

[Cavcraft]

'The Seagull Has Landed'.

 

All being well I'll be testing out a wheezy British two stroke engine tomorrow and polluting British waterways.

[M'coli]

'The Seagull Has Landed'.

 

All being well I'll be testing out a wheezy British two stroke engine tomorrow and polluting British waterways.

Get in! I love the sound of the British Seagull on start-up:

phutphutphut bastard!phutphutphut bastard!phutphutphutphut bastard!phutphutphutphutphutphutphut bastard!phutphutphut bastard!

[M'coli]

This month's Motorsport magazine. Not only does it contain the definitive WB tribute, but it has an article about driving a Lightweight E-type and a Ferrari 250SWB on the roads north of Ullapool, which are fantastic:

[Mr_Bo11ox]

WB?

[warren t claim]

WB?

Bill Boddy who died recently.