What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[Dyslexic Viking]

The Norwegian Minister of Agriculture advises Norwegians to eat a lot of ice cream this summer. 

Norwegian Minister of Agriculture during the press conference bellow.

[LightBulbFun]

congratulations your tipper is now a flatbed 

[MikeR]

When gifted a push bike , it will fit in the C1 !!! 

[richardmorris]

[EyesWeldedShut]

Found these two little things (plus some siblings) whilst hacking back some old privet. Given that I hate gardening then this is the ideal excuse to slack off for a few weeks (then hope the parents start another brood  )
Interweb tells me these are Dunnocks (though I thought that was a place in Fife)

[richardmorris]

2 minutes ago, EyesWeldedShut said:

Found these two little things (plus some siblings) whilst hacking back some old privet. Given that I hate gardening then this is the ideal excuse to slack off for a few weeks (then hope the parents start another brood  )
Interweb tells me these are Dunnocks (though I thought that was a place in Fife)

Promiscuous wife swapping Little brown jobs.

[richardmorris]

1 minute ago, richardmorris said:

Promiscuous wife swapping Little brown jobs.

 

[EyesWeldedShut]

1 minute ago, richardmorris said:

Little brown jobs.

Dat's them - we have them all around the house in every shrub. There's a pair six feet from the kitchen door that you can watch dashing in and out the greenery on mad feed cycles. (Lots of Cuckoos around the place too - none for the past week or ten days now though)

Also found a Pied Wagtail nest under a bit of quad towed kit that I have not used for a while - guess I'll leave that in situ for the moment. The nest is actually on the ground but there's no way a cat could squeeze through unless it dug the ground out. I'd bet a fox would do that though - maybe a Darwin Award for dat pair.

Wife swapping? Tried that. Got a C6.
 

[richardmorris]

27 minutes ago, EyesWeldedShut said:

Dat's them - we have them all around the house in every shrub. There's a pair six feet from the kitchen door that you can watch dashing in and out the greenery on mad feed cycles. (Lots of Cuckoos around the place too - none for the past week or ten days now though)

Also found a Pied Wagtail nest under a bit of quad towed kit that I have not used for a while - guess I'll leave that in situ for the moment. The nest is actually on the ground but there's no way a cat could squeeze through unless it dug the ground out. I'd bet a fox would do that though - maybe a Darwin Award for dat pair.

Wife swapping? Tried that. Got a C6.
 

I can recommend the free Cornell university bird app called MERLIN. It’s superb at identifying bird song.

[Wack]

This was parked in a traffic warden active area in Cleveleys today so I assume it's being driven like that 

 

[RoverFolkUs]

Popped into Halfords (!) this evening to get a rear wiper blade for my Focus.. I've previously upgraded it with a Volvo C30 arm because the standard Ford one is small and coverage is shite, and I couldn't get a decent arm/blade combo that actually applied enough pressure to the screen after trying about 4 different types. 

Fitted a C30 arm and it works a treat, it covers significantly more of the rear screen and clears it well. A very worthwhile upgrade 

But now came the time to get a new blade for it. 

Instead of trying to explain "Volvo C30" to the factors when they INSIST on a reg number, it was only going to end up with me receiving about 5 wrong blades anyway, I thought I'd pop into Halfords and see what I could find on the shelf. 

Indeed I found a match, so took it to the till. 

Immediately got pounced upon: "can I interest you in fitting?" 

No thank you, [amusingly I was in my workwear so a bit of common sense would have dictated I'm handy with things like fitting wipers 😂] 

He was clearly a bit miffed that I'd declined his service so conversation as follows:

Him - "What car are you buying it for?" 

Me - "It's to go on my 06 Focus, I've previously fitted a Volvo C30 wiper arm to it."

He trots off to the wiper blade area without me asking, and comes back with another blade which he's decided is suitable based on the info I've given him about the car (2006 Focus) 

Now there's a bit of backwards and forwards because he's telling me the blade I've picked up isn't compatible with a 2006 Focus so it won't fit... I try to explain that a Focus wiper blade isn't going to fit because the arm has been replaced... 

He's still not having any of it and suggests once again that I pay the £6 extra to have it fitted so that they can make sure I'm buying the correct wiper blade. 

I've told him that I've already gone on their website, searched for a rear wiper for a Volvo C30, matched it with the one attached to my "upgraded arm" so I'm already satisfied with the original one that I've picked up off the shelf 

At last he allows me to buy the original blade that I selected. 

Of course he takes great pleasure in saying "no returns on this once you've opened it and realized its the wrong one" 

Now that's annoyed me a bit. So I thought I'd play a game. I've paid for it, then gone outside, removed the blade from the car and brought it back in, opening the box of the new one to show him that they are both alike. 

I've rejoined the queue for the till, visibly clutching the old and new blade. He's clocked me holding both blades. He greets me with a smug grin, but before he had a chance to put me in my place I've demonstrated the fact that the old and new blades are identical, but thanks all the same for all the effort he's gone to in order for me to buy the right one 😂

He wasn't happy 😂

[richardmorris]

3 minutes ago, RoverFolkUs said:

Popped into Halfords (!) this evening to get a rear wiper blade for my Focus.. I've previously upgraded it with a Volvo C30 arm because the standard Ford one is small and coverage is shite, and I couldn't get a decent arm/blade combo that actually applied enough pressure to the screen after trying about 4 different types. 

Fitted a C30 arm and it works a treat, it covers significantly more of the rear screen and clears it well. A very worthwhile upgrade 

But now came the time to get a new blade for it. 

Instead of trying to explain "Volvo C30" to the factors when they INSIST on a reg number, it was only going to end up with me receiving about 5 wrong blades anyway, I thought I'd pop into Halfords and see what I could find on the shelf. 

Indeed I found a match, so took it to the till. 

Immediately got pounced upon: "can I interest you in fitting?" 

No thank you, [amusingly I was in my workwear so a bit of common sense would have dictated I'm handy with things like fitting wipers 😂] 

He was clearly a bit miffed that I'd declined his service so conversation as follows:

Him - "What car are you buying it for?" 

Me - "It's to go on my 06 Focus, I've previously fitted a Volvo C30 wiper arm to it."

He trots off to the wiper blade area without me asking, and comes back with another blade which he's decided is suitable based on the info I've given him about the car (2006 Focus) 

Now there's a bit of backwards and forwards because he's telling me the blade I've picked up isn't compatible with a 2006 Focus so it won't fit... I try to explain that a Focus wiper blade isn't going to fit because the arm has been replaced... 

He's still not having any of it and suggests once again that I pay the £6 extra to have it fitted so that they can make sure I'm buying the correct wiper blade. 

I've told him that I've already gone on their website, searched for a rear wiper for a Volvo C30, matched it with the one attached to my "upgraded arm" so I'm already satisfied with the original one that I've picked up off the shelf 

At last he allows me to buy the original blade that I selected. 

Of course he takes great pleasure in saying "no returns on this once you've opened it and realized its the wrong one" 

Now that's annoyed me a bit. So I thought I'd play a game. I've paid for it, then gone outside, removed the blade from the car and brought it back in, opening the box of the new one to show him that they are both alike. 

I've rejoined the queue for the till, visibly clutching the old and new blade. He's clocked me holding both blades. He greets me with a smug grin, but before he had a chance to put me in my place I've demonstrated the fact that the old and new blades are identical, but thanks all the same for all the effort he's gone to in order for me to buy the right one 😂

He wasn't happy 😂

This is why I buy everything online now. Yes, it’s not on the registration but it’s what I want.

[RoverFolkUs]

Just now, richardmorris said:

This is why I buy everything online now. Yes, it’s not on the registration but it’s what I want.

It was £4.04 on their website with trade card, but £5.99 on the shelf in store, so £5.39 with trade card! I couldn't be bothered to faff around just to save a quid as I wanted it there and then but I wish I avoided the store entirely now

They've completely hashed up click and collect orders for me in the past as well, so that wouldn't have been any easier. 

[richardmorris]

28 minutes ago, RoverFolkUs said:

It was £4.04 on their website with trade card, but £5.99 on the shelf in store, so £5.39 with trade card! I couldn't be bothered to faff around just to save a quid as I wanted it there and then but I wish I avoided the store entirely now

They've completely hashed up click and collect orders for me in the past as well, so that wouldn't have been any easier. 

Mostly from the last time I wanted a battery for the 2cv and x1/9. They’re both 063 but not according to halfords or ECP.

[hairnet]

bangers and cash

series 1 landie

far canal

thats some coin (and ive not seen the end yet)

[808 Estate]

[808 Estate]

[High Jetter]

2 hours ago, RoverFolkUs said:

Popped into Halfords (!) this evening to get a rear wiper blade for my Focus.. I've previously upgraded it with a Volvo C30 arm because the standard Ford one is small and coverage is shite, and I couldn't get a decent arm/blade combo that actually applied enough pressure to the screen after trying about 4 different types. 

Fitted a C30 arm and it works a treat, it covers significantly more of the rear screen and clears it well. A very worthwhile upgrade 

But now came the time to get a new blade for it. 

Instead of trying to explain "Volvo C30" to the factors when they INSIST on a reg number, it was only going to end up with me receiving about 5 wrong blades anyway, I thought I'd pop into Halfords and see what I could find on the shelf. 

Indeed I found a match, so took it to the till. 

Immediately got pounced upon: "can I interest you in fitting?" 

No thank you, [amusingly I was in my workwear so a bit of common sense would have dictated I'm handy with things like fitting wipers 😂] 

He was clearly a bit miffed that I'd declined his service so conversation as follows:

Him - "What car are you buying it for?" 

Me - "It's to go on my 06 Focus, I've previously fitted a Volvo C30 wiper arm to it."

He trots off to the wiper blade area without me asking, and comes back with another blade which he's decided is suitable based on the info I've given him about the car (2006 Focus) 

Now there's a bit of backwards and forwards because he's telling me the blade I've picked up isn't compatible with a 2006 Focus so it won't fit... I try to explain that a Focus wiper blade isn't going to fit because the arm has been replaced... 

He's still not having any of it and suggests once again that I pay the £6 extra to have it fitted so that they can make sure I'm buying the correct wiper blade. 

I've told him that I've already gone on their website, searched for a rear wiper for a Volvo C30, matched it with the one attached to my "upgraded arm" so I'm already satisfied with the original one that I've picked up off the shelf 

At last he allows me to buy the original blade that I selected. 

Of course he takes great pleasure in saying "no returns on this once you've opened it and realized its the wrong one" 

Now that's annoyed me a bit. So I thought I'd play a game. I've paid for it, then gone outside, removed the blade from the car and brought it back in, opening the box of the new one to show him that they are both alike. 

I've rejoined the queue for the till, visibly clutching the old and new blade. He's clocked me holding both blades. He greets me with a smug grin, but before he had a chance to put me in my place I've demonstrated the fact that the old and new blades are identical, but thanks all the same for all the effort he's gone to in order for me to buy the right one 😂

He wasn't happy 😂

Why go there, tho?

[RoverFolkUs]

8 hours ago, High Jetter said:

Why go there, tho?

Convenience. Price as well, I suppose. 

[Bfg]

59 minutes ago, RoverFolkUs said:

Convenience. Price as well, I suppose. 

😄 😄 😄

[Six-cylinder]

[Datsuncog]

3 hours ago, RoverFolkUs said:

Convenience. Price as well, I suppose. 

My local motor factor shuts up shop at 4pm each day, and the last time I went there looking for a pair of wiper blades they wanted £35 off me.

Yeah, no.

Having spent many years working for Halfords, and with no love whatsoever for them, I can see why still being open in the late afternoon/ early evening and having a Trade Card discount is enough of a draw. Hell, I still use them sometimes, for the same reasons.

That said, a significant subset of customers were quite strange, and having people buy completely the wrong part, against all advice from staff, and then stomp back in to the store in a strop demanding a full refund was, sadly, not uncommon.

I did the returns/ write-offs in my store, and the number of perfectly good items wrecked by horny-handed customers trying to force-fit wildly unsuitable items was considerable. 

The whole 'We'll Fit It!' thing was a joke though. As I recall that only came in after Halfords was bought by a private equity group who aimed to squeeze every last drop of value out of the company; prior to that we were always happy to sling in a battery or a bulb for nothing if someone asked us to.

Had it only been priced at a pound a go or something, then I imagine it might have been a popular enough measure - but charging a fiver to fit a £2 bulb was a trifle optimistic in 2006, so hardly anybody ever took us up on it (apart from Mégane II owners, who seemed more than happy to pay to watch us lacerating ourselves while trying to swap their painfully inaccessible headlight bulbs).

There were also some rather ambitious weekly conversion targets for each store - so if you sold, say, 100 sets of wipers in a week, then you would have been expected to put 33 wiper fitting codes though the till in that week. Same with batteries, same with bulbs. If you didn't meet your target, then the area manager would give you a bollocking, and a couple of weeks not meeting your 'Fit' targets meant that the store would likely lose out on the quarterly bonus.  Which was why we were instructed to push the fitting service quite robustly at every opportunity. 

I imagine a similar process still stands. Although, in the spirit of 'work smarter, not harder', we soon developed some workarounds...

[EyesWeldedShut]

Driving along today and found two of these 'shy' buggers having a WWF bout in the middle of the road. Stopped and had a Mexican standoff with them for about twenty seconds, then they legged it. 
Blurry snip from my AliExpress dashcam video below - Mk 1 eyeball was much, much better.
I'm dead chuffed.

[MikeR]

sort of well placed adverts on Face ache ...

[Matty]

22 hours ago, EyesWeldedShut said:

Dunnocks

Nah they're teacakes bud!

[EyesWeldedShut]

5 minutes ago, Matty said:

Nah they're teacakes bud!

I'd sooner have a Caramel Log myself  

[richardmorris]

[hairnet]

Mates are biking in croatia and the balkans down to northen greece

Sent these

[hairnet]

@PhilA

What do you recommend from here

[hairnet]

More toot from somewhere hot