What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[wuvvum]

the other is a Sunbeam 1.0. I don't really remember the Sunbeam so it doesn't bother me

I had a Sunbeam 1.0.  You're not missing much tbh.

 

 

 

I actually really liked mine, but by almost any objective measurement it was complete rubbish.

[drum]

you would hope that the SCOTCH would spell the name of their national drink correctly ? or maybe the tipple on offer is some low budget asda-valu product ?

the last time I sat in a barbers chair was on holiday in turkey where the mad bugger set fire to my ears

It's not for drinking. The barber pours it on your head while you're waiting and by the time it's your turn, your hair is half cut.

 

I'm here all week...

[beko1987]

Ah a forum again! Was having withdrawal symptoms! Still, got the garden de winterized, Charlie played outside for the first time in his life and I think I've sold the Zafiras old wheels for £90...

[Eddie Honda]

When my brother and I were doing a mass clear out the other week, I found this pale green roll of waterproof Sellotape. Possibly bought mid-1990s, but the adhesive was still good.

 

Artist's picture made me chuckle:

 

[fordperv]

It's been a busy couple of days, ive given myself a kick up the arse to get my capri back on road, so i made some space to get it home from my mums, she was gutted I was taking it, i had to assure her id park it back around there when the works finished, she even popped around to see it after id given it a clean

 

This was the view outside as it got home

 

 

Ive done some work on it earlier stripped the valance off, passengers wing and cut the inner wing headlamp bowl area off, but im going to start a thread on it to put the pictures in to save filling the grin thread up even though it's a massive grin for me

 

After tea went out for a nice drive

[Sheefag]

So there's a couple of local community Facebook groups I need to keep an eye on for work... now I fucking hate Facebook and all it stands for, so there's no way they're getting my details, hence I register with a bogus name.

 

All works well for a week or so, until it refuses to let me in, saying I need to verify my identity. Again, there's no way they're getting any personal info off me, so I ignore this for a week or so, and then I started to wonder... if they make a lot of these requests, I bet they don't have a real-live human checking them?

 

So I get on the web and find a student union card...

 

 

MS Paint was used to doctor the details, although I left the picture of the girl on cos I was too lazy to change it. Then I decided a birth certificate would be good. Choosing my favourite design, I filled it in and sent them both to Facebook:

 

 

It worked

 

Can I just confirm, I've used both images in the above post and they really do work!

[STUNO]

No dead thread at present, so I will stick this here in the appropriate place.

Today...John Clark aged 68. suddenly while on a tramping trip.

John Clark aka Fred Dagg, farmer with his family.

 

   23 min 

[Aston Martin]

I had to drop my wagon off for it's MOT on Friday night, i asked one of the guys to pick me up in the van.

 

As I'm waiting i think i see him at the roundabout with cars going around him, anyway he pulls up and there's a battered VW Camper behind him. Turns out the camper had walloped him at the roundabout... here's where the story gets delightful... An Astra came into the yard, which i assumed was a witness. Which he was, however he worked for the DVSA. The guy gets out of his camper "it's ok, the accelerator got stuck under my carpet."

 

DVSA bloke comes over "I'm sorry what's the problem with the carpet?"

 

It turns out the guy has used shagpile carpet in the camper, which he had either glued or stapled down. DVSA "Remove it or you're getting reported"

 

Enter camper man's wife, she didn't know who the guy in the hi-vis jacket was and i don't think many would, but she was giving him shit and she storms off.

 

Meanwhile the camper won't start, the Transit he hit has a step at the rear. Luckily it missed the radiator, so maybe it's just a shitty camper being a shitty camper and refusing to start because the owner was a twat.

 

 

DVSA bloke was on his way home, had he been at work i believe he would have raped the camper driver of several hundred pounds.

[castros_bro]

I never wanted to be your weekend lover
I only wanted to be some kind of friend
Baby, I could never steal you from another
It's such a shame our friendship had to end

Purple Stag, purple Stag
Purple Stag, purple Stag
Pissing rain, Pissing rain

(Apologies to Prince)
 

 

[Tamworthbay]

I had forgotten how much I love Scotland, why the hell do I still live in England? Will get the daughter through school as don't want to mess her about then will look for a permanent move up here. Two days up here and I swear my blood pressure is twenty points lower.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Since when can a DVSA bloke turn up out the blue and 'do' you for having the wrong type of friggin carpet? He sounds like a massive arsehole to me.

[Timewaster]

Since when can a DVSA bloke turn up out the blue and 'do' you for having the wrong type of friggin carpet? He sounds like a massive arsehole to me.

If some knob jockey has modified his shitbox to such a high level that it causes him to ram into stationary traffic then I don't care who gets him off the road.

Officious prick or not.

[AMC Rebel]

I had forgotten how much I love Scotland, why the hell do I still live in England? Will get the daughter through school as don't want to mess her about then will look for a permanent move up here. Two days up here and I swear my blood pressure is twenty points lower.

 

I worry that I am too much of a git and if I move to Scotland I will spoil it.  It is bloody marvellous though, as is Ireland.

[AMC Rebel]

Since when can a DVSA bloke turn up out the blue and 'do' you for having the wrong type of friggin carpet? He sounds like a massive arsehole to me.

 Did anyone else think of this?

 

[doobietoo]

So Diesel PT Cruisers insurance is due... popped onto comparethemeerkat updated my details as I am going self-employed and up popped Tesco car insurance at £228 over £80 cheaper than my renewal quote.... went to their site and got a further £27 off because MrsD has every store card known to retailing so bought it £201 for fully comp with business use and on that policy only one years NCD was way cheaper than anyone else..... rang up my old insurance company to stop the automatic renewal  

" Hello  Tescos car insurance I would like stop the auto renewal of my policy...."  

[vulgalour]

 

 

:D :D :D

[95 quid Peugeot]

Average consumption on the mighty Clitroen ZX over 1100 miles tank full to tank full. With a fair few miles at 70mph Yo. Modern cars. Arse

[MarvinsMom]

c'mon little mini!!

 

[strangeangel]

DVSA bloke was on his way home, had he been at work i believe he would have raped the camper driver of several hundred pounds.

 

Given that he's not plod, and DVSA (Capita) have no statutory powers, how exactly would he have achieved this feat?

[cobblers]

Just look at how gimpy the front end of this thing looks with those headlights and the little chrome bumper, It's amazing.

 

[dave21478]

Amazon. Yeah, I know we are supposed to think they are bastards, treat employees like dirt, drive small businesses under, pay no tax and fiddle kids etc, but they really are pretty fucking decent. I ordered a load of stuff last week and it arrived quick enough but I got a bad dose of buyers regret as soon as I opened the box. No problem though - full refund and they even pay the return postage, no quibble....just print off the return label and drop the box at a post office.

[Tamworthbay]

Amazon. Yeah, I know we are supposed to think they are bastards, treat employees like dirt, drive small businesses under, pay no tax and fiddle kids etc, but they really are pretty fucking decent. I ordered a load of stuff last week and it arrived quick enough but I got a bad dose of buyers regret as soon as I opened the box. No problem though - full refund and they even pay the return postage, no quibble....just print off the return label and drop the box at a post office.

But it's because they do all the things you mention (with the possible exception of kiddy fiddling, but who knows?) that they can afford to do that.

[Cavcraft]

Screwfix: top notch customer service, very impressed.

[dave21478]

But it's because they do all the things you mention (with the possible exception of kiddy fiddling, but who knows?) that they can afford to do that.

 

meh, I dont care. Which is a huge part of whats wrong with modern society. Nobody really cares about the bad stuff going on as long as they get their cheap goods/shiny electronics/fancy coffee etc etc.

 

Two-faced moaning twat? Absolutely. I never pretended I wasnt.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Don’t be harsh on yerself Dave, its not a crime to use Amazon, they expend massive efforts to make it as painless as possible for you to do so.

 

Its healthy to be aware of some of their dodgier practices but at the end of the day its up to governments to find ways to tax these shitehawks properly and ensure there are appropriately-worded laws that do not give them the opportunity to treat their staff like shit. If governments fail to do that,  which they do every single day of the bastard week, you can’t compensate for that on your own.

[beko1987]

Amazon did me good the other week. Bought my dad a blu ray/cd set of a concert we went to last year, so he could have the cd's, he hasn't got a blu ray player so asked me to send it back. Did the refund and they gave me my money back before he's even posted it back!

 

Bought him a £10 amazon music gift card as he has amazon music, so job done

[Spottedlaurel]

It's sunny, I've got the day off work and I'm off with the family down to Southend to collect my birthday present, a recently purchased stack of magazines which AngryDicky kindly picked up for me.

[vulgalour]

Yesterday, in all the excitement, there was something I forgot.  When the Princess was last on the road, in stock trim, it would get a little bit of attention.  Now, the gawping from passing motorists is a little bit ridiculous.  It is not a car for the shy and retiring sort, that's for sure!  As we were just pulling onto the estate that we live on a couple of young people waiting to cross the road actually excitedly waved at the car as if it were some sort of special event.  I knew it would get noticed, but I didn't think you'd get the sort of attention it does.

 

Luckily, for those days when I'm feeling more introverted I've got the Rover which gets noticed but not at all in the same way.  I'll be cracking on with some jobs shortly, my shite mojo is pretty high today.

 

Edit:  and £93.70 for the insurance is pretty awesome too!

[beko1987]

The Autosmart guy forgot about me today, but came round 10 minutes ago in his personal car with my stuff, and gave me a few spray bottles to say sorry!

 

Still took £70 off me, glad I took that out in cash on payday or that would have been long gone now!

[oldcars]

The Autosmart guy forgot about me today, but came round 10 minutes ago in his personal car with my stuff, and gave me a few spray bottles to say sorry!

 

Still took £70 off me, glad I took that out in cash on payday or that would have been long gone now!

Love a trip to the van. I need some finish and duet, might give the local chap a call. He is a great guy. What did you get?