What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[Tamworthbay]

I'm stealing that!

as did Amc I put it on last year and nicked it from somewhere else myself.

[DodgeRover]

No cycling ninjas or UFO spotters on the drive home. Even the normally absolutely dazzling headlights coming the other way seemed less dazzling.

 

Checked for inappropriate use of sunglasses but no. Will buy lottery ticket this week.

[cort16]

Amazing Fiat Abarth Resto on RR. 6 pages of metal bending porn.

 

http://retrorides.proboards.com/thread/194387/1958-abarth-zagato-double-bubble

[hairnet]

wished to buy 4 pieces of plastic from a certain japanese motorcycle manufacturer

 

from england 300 pounds

 

from usa 180 pounds

 

from canada (and i had to check this by reverse putting the part nos into a microfiche to make sure theyd quoted right)

 

97

 

in fkin sane

 

and the bike isnt built in either us or canada its built in thailand

 

the saving has paid for two hotels and the car

[doobietoo]

My turn to cook dinner tonight and imagine my delight when I realised the meatballs, spaghetti and garlic bread all take 14 minutes to cook.... My OCD is ecstatic and I am at peace with the world... 

[Richard]

How do vampires keep in touch with each other?

[beko1987]

I don't know, how do vampires keep in touch with each other?

[Richard]

Social neckworking.

[320touring]

Social neckworking.

*applauds*

[Richard]

*applauds*

 

Don't, it only encourages me.

[320touring]

Don't, it only encourages me.

Go on...

[Lacquer Peel]

Why isn't Santa coming down the chimney this year?

[M'coli]

Ok, I'll bite: I don't know.

[Lacquer Peel]

Well, he's impotent.

 

[Louise2cv]

Elf and safety?

[Louise2cv]

Oh. I was way off!

[Ghosty]

 impotent.

 

 

 

Elfotent surely?

[M'coli]

Why is Santa so jolly?

[Lacquer Peel]

Puns are for squares.

[Cheggers]

Why does Dr Pepper come in bottles?

 

 

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[Cheggers]

Because his wife left him

 

 

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[M'coli]

Santa knows where all the naughty girls live.

[dollywobbler]

I watched Mr Wobbler's YouTube review of the £4 ZX last night ... quite funny that YouTube thought an ad for Louis Vuitton was somehow appropriate. I can just see me in a knackered old Citroen with a £800 bag...

 

Fact: That's one of my fastest accelerating videos (in terms of views) of one of the slowest accelerating cars I've owned. (er, with a water-cooled engine anyway). 968 views in a week. Not bad. I still need to do a follow up 'walkaround' video. It will happen. Probably.

[Cavcraft]

I spent £4 at the local(ish) jetwash today cleaning the 'lingo. It actually looked quite a bit better, so I half-heartedly T-cutted it too. I repaid this kindness by running slightly off kilter on the way to the petrol station, i reckon it wants a fuel fliter and a bloody good service. 

[AMC Rebel]

as did Amc I put it on last year and nicked it from somewhere else myself.

Indeed - it's so old I was surprised there were folk who hadn't seen it. I admit theft of an old joke and would like to ask the court to consider a gazillion other offences

[NorfolkNWeigh]

I really don't think drink driving is a subject to joke about.

 

I was stopped a couple of Christmases ago in a checkpoint and found to be just over the limit.

It was pretty scary getting taken to the Police Station to give a second sample on the evidential machine.

This wasn't giving accurate readings , so the Police Surgeon was called , as I'm scared of needles I was allowed to give a urine sample.

After being cautioned they left me at the front desk, where the Police Surgeon had put all the paperwork and samples.

In a moment of madness , I grabbed the sample and report and legged it.

Obviously , the next day the Police arrived at my door.

But fortunately, they could only charge me with.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Taking the piss!

[Stroller133]

Indeed - it's so old I was surprised there were folk who hadn't seen it. I admit theft of an old joke and would like to ask the court to consider a gazillion other offences

I think when I steal it, I'm going to modify it a bit. I think Bus would be better. I've not driven an actual plated taxi, but as Taxis round here are Astra estates or Avensis's driving one for the first time doesn't sound that unusual, but for most of us driving a bus for the first time would be, particularly a stolen one whilst pissed!

[scaryoldcortina]

Someone just sent me a link.

 

http://hackaday.com/2016/06/12/a-hot-rod-roadster-from-a-rusty-wreck/

 

It's sort of wierd to be reading about myself like that, but it's also amusing.

[Ghosty]

Hadn't twigged that was you SOC! Remember reading that RR thread a long time ago.

 

Oh, and I found you on Reddit recently too...

[Tamworthbay]

Indeed - it's so old I was surprised there were folk who hadn't seen it. I admit theft of an old joke and would like to ask the court to consider a gazillion other offences

It's such a cracker that it needs to be repeated, as they say, the old ones are the best ones!