What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[michael1703]

They don't call it magnolia anymore. It's basically the same though but called Lambswool or something, but it's £50 a tin if you want it called that.

We moved into current house in Sep 14, it's white with green window frames and doors, the people we bought off left a can of paint the right shade with a ridgeons sticker (east Anglian builders merchants) I took it in,they scanned it and said they'd tint it to the exact mix etc.

 

2.5 litres was £90fuckingquid!

 

I was chatting away to the salesman while it was mixed,had pulled a bundle of notes out of my overall pocket as he was ringing it up and ended up handing over most of them.

 

I felt a bit sick,It's only green paint but it's a special shade of green

[MarvinsMom]

the land lord where i stop "darn sarf" has the same thing.

 

the place i stop was at one point the stable block/servants bit of a large house, built for some big-wig to use as a summer hunting lodge.

 

the big house is listed, so they have to paint all the woodwork this red colour. its not just any red either, but this particular shade that has to be mixed up special, and that bloody stuff is £120=odd quid a tin!!

 

its not even a nice shade of red........

[vulgalour]

I bet if you painted it a cheaper shade NOBODY would know.

[MarvinsMom]

oh i wouldn't put it passed english heritage to been able too tell!!

[doobietoo]

oh i wouldn't put it passed english heritage to been able too tell!!

 

Yep they have taken being picky about un-important details while completely missing major changes to a whole new level......

[dave21478]

One of the buildings I work at is listed, protected, heritage, historical signifigance blah blah blah. There is a lot of exterior metalwork that is supposed to be painted every year in a special shade of Very Dark Grey bought from a specialist.

A few years ago I thought "fuck it", and started using satin black from the DIY shop. Nobody has noticed.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Just got this email in my junk folder, obviously because of my user name on here.

 

Dear Friend,

I am George Komla, a solicitor at law and attorney to late engineer

(Thomas Norfolk) a citizen of your country who lived and worked in

Togo for many years before his sudden death. I have urgent information

for you regarding his estate, contact me back and I will explain

everything to you.

My regards,

George Komla Esq.

Lome-Togo

 

I wonder what Uncle Thomas has left me.

[oldcars]

Was searching on Asda website for car stuff. Sometimes they have good bargains.

 

Searched by price. Second item made me laugh, they must know my fleet well 

 

http://groceries.asda.com/search/car/1/price-asc/so-false

[Aston Martin]

I was bored last week and applied for a job i'm not qualified for, yesterday she left a voicemail "Sat at 10, interview."

 

 

Eh, might as well get some use out of my suit.

[fordperv]

I've just had a valentines day gift from mrs fp, i was there when she opened the post so she said I may as well have it early

 

 

I'm well chuffed I was only moaning about disposable bottles the other day.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

^^^^Theyre not telling you to buy a C-max, just giving you an impression of the size of the sofa. HTH

[anonymous user]

If the C-max you buy has removeable seats, just bring some of those in and use them instead of a sofa.

[dave21478]

I am looking for a second hand sofa too - how fucking hard is it to find one thats not A - one of these enormous L-shaped things, which I am sure look great in the showroom but take up an entire average living room, B - white or cream. I am far too grubby to own white things, or C - looks like it was rummaged out of a skip behind an old-folks home?

[gm]

first trackday of the season tomorrow

 

I R EXCITE

[Urko]

Cavcrafts song lyrics on the ebay tat thread haven't half made me chuckle today.

[xtriple]

The big green dollop has performed faultlessly today - no warning lights, no malfunctioning seats/mirrors, no alarm pissing about delays, no nothing. Of course, now that I have said that, tomorrow it will be a pig and do all of the above and more!

 

Hand built British workmanship at its finest!

 

Mind you, when it is functioning as its maker intended (and its current bill payer would like) it is a truly glorious thing to bugger about in! It is smooth and soooooo quiet it is almost like playing a very slow motion video game with the sound off   There is of course always the option to press the 'fun' pedal and watch the world disappear behind you

 

Just to bring me back to reality though, I happened to glance (then stare in disbelief) at the fuel gauge, it seems to like being at the 'add more' end of the gauge rather more than one would like! 10mpg is most tiresome...

[Bobthebeard]

They don't call it magnolia anymore. It's basically the same though but called Lambswool or something, but it's £50 a tin if you want it called that.

Calico apparently. £50 a tin. It's magnolia....

[phil_lihp]

From collection to first breakdown, mostly driving around town in a 4.0 Jaguar XJ40 with binding brakes and a dead alternator, the fuel computer told me I was doing 11mpg.

 

I have never seen that low a number before and I hope never to again.  Fortunately it used no fuel at all for the remaining 350 miles.

[Urko]

If the C-max you buy has removeable seats, just bring some of those in and use them instead of a sofa.

Ahem, the "Sofa" in my conservatory is the front bench seat from my Chevy - and there are two BMW "Easy chairs" (E46 convertible front seats) I won for 99p off flea bay in there too.

[beko1987]

From collection to first breakdown, mostly driving around town in a 4.0 Jaguar XJ40 with binding brakes and a dead alternator, the fuel computer told me I was doing 11mpg.

 

I have never seen that low a number before and I hope never to again.  Fortunately it used no fuel at all for the remaining 350 miles.

We took my mates unreliable and thirsty 3.5l defender to a landrover show in peterborough once. Damn near bankrupted us getting there, but luckily* it ingested water offroading and shat itself and we got taken home by the big yellow taxi. Saved us a fortune getting back!

[DVee8]

I met a fellow shiter today with a focus.

 

Thing's are moving on, back on the road soon

[Urko]

I er....cough ...... was watching a gentleman's art film last night, and right at the start was a LHD Triumph Dolomite.

[cort16]

While I was getting tyres fitted to the juke I went t the govan furniture recycling centre and they had a lot of decent sofas for 50 quid. The best one was one that's rear cushions folded down into a snooker table . Never seen that before.

[Inspector Morose]

Hovercraft, elderly tube train and floaty car were today's methods of transport.

Two of which I'd like to experience again.

[Pillock]

You went to the isle of wight, and on your return you accidentally drove your car into the sea at the hovercraft terminal?

[Inspector Morose]

Yes.

[Cavcraft]

Yeah bike thread, but getting this back yesterday has made my month. I knackered the pedal arm up on it and it's been fixed now..

 

 

[daveb47]

Worst fuel consumption i have ever had was an Austin Champ,was 2 to 3 gallons per mile across country

[320touring]

The decision of whether to pick the 306 or the 156 has been made somewhat easier:)

[trigger]

I'm currently watching some "That's so... 1989" program on Channel 5 which features some warrior grade shite!

 

 

 

 

"The body needs treatment, and so will the new owner" says the commentator.