What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[Louise2cv]

I'm only messing of course

[bub2006]

Does it drink oil? Bulb in the eml light work?

No oil usage and 2 eml lights on this bad boy!

[bub2006]

What happened with the Focus?

Died a nasty death,headgasket I think plus numerous fault lights.

[MarvinsMom]

you have to remember that bub has almost as much luck with motor cars as chompy snake does....

[purplebargeken]

Umm, not sure that is actually possible. Not in this universe anyway

[robinmasters]

This chap's Flickr. Stills from The Professionals, and how they look now. Some still with plenty o'chod.

 

https://www.flickr.com/photos/nraven/sets/72157660189951972

 

Involvement 02 by Nick Raven, on Flickr

[rantingYoof]

Today I accidentally 0-60ed Mason the Leaky Lexus.

 

I say accidentally.

 

On the way home I get to pull out onto a dual carriageway, and this junction has absolutely no slip-road. It's literally a 90 degree turn onto a 70mph road.

 

So it's actually a responsible thing to do. You know...to press the little "PWR" button next to the shifter (which essentially tells the 'box to not change up until it's moments from death), and then just go STOMP.

 

So I get up to speed quickly.

 

Something that is over 20 years old, and weighs nearly 2 tons (more with added liquid), shouldn't be able to get to 60 like that. There are some borked physics somewhere in this situation. Especially as the car has Star Trek derived inertial dampners so that all of this happens and YOU FEEL NOTHING!

 

I did note the gearbox whines when it gets to around 4,500rpm. Normal on a large lazy autobox? Like..."Mate, seriously, the hell are you doing? Have we been jacked? IS THAT WHAT'S HAPPENING? OH SHIT!!"

 

Anyway, this is what cheered me up today. Being a mature and responsible car owner. That.

[beko1987]

Big cars often shift faster than they should, my old XM Estate was stupid quick if I prodded the loud pedal correctly. Drank fuel like a twat when doing it though

[DSdriver]

This chap's Flickr. Stills from The Professionals, and how they look now. Some still with plenty o'chod.

 

https://www.flickr.com/photos/nraven/sets/72157660189951972

 

Involvement 02 by Nick Raven, on Flickr

They'd have trouble making The Professionals nowadays, what with all the sleeping policemen, bollards and speed cameras.

[bub2006]

you have to remember that bub has almost as much luck with motor cars as chompy snake does....

That's defamation of character right there. I won't stand for it and don't think Mr snake will either.......even if it is true

[bub2006]

Been out in vectra tonight,drives lovely just some niggles to iron our. Can't understand how it can be better than the focus on fuel though. Also insurance and tax cheaper even though it's a larger engine!

[rantingYoof]

Big cars often shift faster than they should, my old XM Estate was stupid quick if I prodded the loud pedal correctly. Drank fuel like a twat when doing it though

 

This tank is definitely a sub-20!

 

Doin' it right.

[MarvinsMom]

the XJR in sport been given some beans certainly can pick up its skirts and fly.

 

shame about the £20 notes that i can see flying out of the back of the exhaust while doing it....

[scdan4]

http://imgur.com/gallery/WdBd67e

 

 

[wuvvum]

You know that there's a free phone app to time such things....

I've found that to be rubbish.  By the time it works out that I've started moving I'm already doing 30.

[hairnet]

Today I accidentally 0-60ed Mason the Leaky Lexus.

 

I say accidentally.

 

On the way home I get to pull out onto a dual carriageway, and this junction has absolutely no slip-road. It's literally a 90 degree turn onto a 70mph road.

 

So it's actually a responsible thing to do. You know...to press the little "PWR" button next to the shifter (which essentially tells the 'box to not change up until it's moments from death), and then just go STOMP.

 

So I get up to speed quickly.

 

Something that is over 20 years old, and weighs nearly 2 tons (more with added liquid), shouldn't be able to get to 60 like that. There are some borked physics somewhere in this situation. Especially as the car has Star Trek derived inertial dampners so that all of this happens and YOU FEEL NOTHING!

 

I did note the gearbox whines when it gets to around 4,500rpm. Normal on a large lazy autobox? Like..."Mate, seriously, the hell are you doing? Have we been jacked? IS THAT WHAT'S HAPPENING? OH SHIT!!"

 

Anyway, this is what cheered me up today. Being a mature and responsible car owner. That.

 

 

I've found that to be rubbish.  By the time it works out that I've started moving I'm already doing 30.

 

[paulwalker] OWND U, OWND U [/fastfive]

[STUNO]

Watching the film  hot fuzz  from about 2007. true policing !

[willswitchengage]

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-28783990

[Cavcraft]

New personal best from our dog who's just pissed on someone's mobility scooter outside the Co-op.

[spike60]

New personal best from our dog who's just pissed on someone's mobility scooter outside the Co-op.

While the owner was in it, I hope?

[fordperv]

Mrs fp bought me a colouring book and some pencil crayons, bloody fantastic it is, it's the Haynes cutaway colouring, it's chock full of shite from the 1960s to 1980s:-)

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Haynes-Cutaway-Colouring-Paintshop-Manuals/dp/1785210696

 

I recommend shiters put it on their Christmas list

[Cavcraft]

100% genuine: outside Halfords talking to my mate and a bloke who's just bought a rubber towbar cover asked their fitter how to fit it.

[richardmorris]

100% genuine: outside Halfords talking to my mate and a bloke who's just bought a rubber towbar cover asked their fitter how to fit it.

There's no justice in this world where brains such as Stephen Hawkins' are locked in an immobile body whilst people like that are walking and talking.

[The Moog]

This was on Daily Mail website talking about gay footballers

 

Bearing in mind that John Fashnu disowned his brother for being gay and saying it was wrong, I bet he is pleased with this caption

 

[Station]

I've found that to be rubbish.  By the time it works out that I've started moving I'm already doing 30.

 

My Astra has a stopwatch on the MFD that is operated by a button on the end of the wiper stalk, talk about irresponsible.

What other cars have this function I wonder?

[twosmoke300]

My old well worn Landrover 90 towed in two moderns today . One of which was a transit from 40 miles away . It wasn't a fast trip but Landy took it all in its stride . I'm feeling a long term keeper here

[jakebullet]

Had an overnight with my kinky girl. Rolled home for 3pm, told Ma I was just having 5 minutes rest and promptly slept for 3 hours. Until she came back and shouted angrily 'don't you get any kip there?'

 

Yes mother dear, I go there to sleep. Cocoa at 9pm and an early night. No way was we testing new toys* till 3am. That would be just silly.

[Pillock]

What, like a radio-controlled car and some lego?

[cort16]

Remember that Clio towing a camper van? Well this takes it to the next level (as seen on teuchter wagons on facebook)

 

 

https://www.facebook.com/TeuchterWagons

[jakebullet]

More like the 'delivered in discreet packaging' type. She also surprised me by pulling out a bottle of single malt that she'd got on offer. Thrifty! I'm in love.