What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[320touring]

Nae wifi on this chrain= nae emails fae work:)

[Station]

The game I've been working on since January of last year got really good reviews, thank f***! The previous Forza Horizon I worked my guts on also go the same scores, should go well to getting a better job now.

 

[Louise2cv]

Autoshite counselling service and legal team. Many thanks to you all. Xxx

[Pillock]

You worked on Forza Horizon Station?

Can I just say thanks for many, many hours of quiet 10-year-old

 

(Can you get me any unicorn cars?)

[saucedoctor]

Apple have fucked up again. Big time. This makes me happy.

[xtriple]

I'm being chatted up by a girl on facebook. She's gorgeous but in Austin Texas, seems keen to get someone solvent with their own home and a good job. I don't think I fit the bill somehow!       

[Skizzer]

The game I've been working on since January of last year got really good reviews, thank f***! The previous Forza Horizon I worked my guts on also go the same scores, should go well to getting a better job now.

 

Nice one.  I am a teeny bit disappointed that a newer Forza Horizon with lots of extra features isn't called Forza Tagora, though.

[Cavcraft]

I'm being chatted up by a girl on facebook. She's gorgeous but in Austin Texas, seems keen to get someone solvent with their own home and a good job. I don't think I fit the bill somehow!     

 

Its the internet you HAVE to lie to her. Then its pictures or STFU.

[fordperv]

station, please tell me you put some ideas for some obscure shite cars to get on there?

[xtriple]

Don't do lying! I know that's strange but I really don't. Even though a lot of the stuff I come out with (buying a Bentley, then not doing!) sounds like bollox, it's not. I really am as strange as I sound

[Station]

station, please tell me you put some ideas for some obscure shite cars to get on there?

 

I wish I could, we had all kinds of old stuff that people wanted, but our car list is dictated by our Microsoft bosses in America!

I just wish they'd do an 80's hot hatch car set (mk3 Escort XR3i, Astra GTE, etc), but the Americans don't understand car culture outside of the US. We needed a Metro 6R4 and they suggested why don't we just find a normal Metro to do research from.

[fordperv]

i took a picture of this at the bodyshop to boost vulgs mojo, its in for a respray but looks fair straight

 

 

[fordperv]

I wish I could, we had all kinds of old stuff that people wanted, but our car list is dictated by our Microsoft bosses in America!

I just wish they'd do an 80's hot hatch car set (mk3 Escort XR3i, Astra GTE, etc), but the Americans don't understand car culture outside of the US. We needed a Metro 6R4 and they suggested why don't we just find a normal Metro to do research from.

 

 

 

americans make me sad

[castros_bro]

That's a funny bit of design that.  Why would you build an amphibious vehicle that travels the opposite way in water to what it does on land? 

 

Think it's basically an amphibian landing craft so the pointy end opens for loading/unloading onto the beach but you cant see where you are going if it drives that way.

 

Here's one I worked with earlier but without wheels

 

[vulgalour]

Cheers for that, Fordperv, it's one of my favourite colours!  Excellent to see someone giving some love to a wedge properly.

[saucedoctor]

I meant to post this a few days ago.

 

My pal got a charming little Smart mhd, 2011. Rather than read handbooks, she just presses buttons to see what happens. Phones, cars, TVs, the lot. Just like me, actually.

 

She phoned me last week

 

Pal  "ANDY! THIS FUCKING CAR KEEPS CUTTING OUT"

Me:  "Did you press the E button?"

Pal: "Yeah, why?"

Me: "That's the button that causes Electrical Failure. That's what the E means. You've wrecked it."
Pal: "Stop fucking with me, what wrong with this piece of shit?"
Me: "Press the button again. It'll stop cutting out. When you get home, read the handbook. And never touch the E button again"

She did read the manual in the end...

 

[anonymous user]

Last night my self-medication got the better of me, according to ebay apparently I have bought and paid for a set of ex TFL Traffic Lights and set of Pelican Crossing lights. I suppose I could put them at the bottom of the drive so I can get out in the morning, or more probably I shall give them to my brother for Christmas;as  I'm pretty sure they will be something he hasn't already got.

 

I also bought an illuminated Taxi roof sign, a BP gallon measuring jug and inexplicably a CD with sounds from the beach, (Seagulls and wave sounds rather than "Chardonnay get off them rocks and eat your ice-cream)

[cms206]

Last night I broke the bed a bit.

 

Went to Ikea today (because I have a Volvo) to purchase a new one. After debating with SWMBO about which to purchase, a visit to the scratch & dent section netted a Mandal queen size bed frame with four drawers and other ancillary shit - list price £260 - for a mere £65. It was listed as "DAMAGED". I've got it more or less built and the damage amounts to a score about an inch and a half long on the bit that goes against the wall.

 

£195 off for a mark no-one will see... I bloody love Ikea, me.

[twosmoke300]

You can't say you broke the bed and not give macho reasons

[r.welfare]

Another good IKEA tip is to see if they'll sell you the display model. Usually works best if there is low/no stock or the items discontinued. Discount is generally 50% or more and, provided you have the vehicular space, you don't have to assemble the bugger.

 

Not heard of the scratch and dent section before mind.

[Richard]

My favourite tactic with Ikea is to try not to go near the place.

[Pillock]

Scratch and dent section, aka "Death Valley".

 

I got a nice TV cabinet, 40% off. Got it home, found the TV doesn't fit by about an inch.

 

Took a grinder to it.

 

The TV.

 

Also, because IKEA flog stuff in massive amounts to impulse buyers, it's dead easy to find it cheap on eBay. I got two Ektorp sofas for £100 with immaculate covers (been used in an office). Even with £30 half day van hire, that's 80% off.

My Malm bed was £80, and it's the mega size one. Rock up with a 3.5t from work, bargain. The two bedside tables for it were £25, £45 each in store.

[sporty-shite]

Apparently, I've won a £1000 fuel voicher off ebay. All I have to do is click and confirm my identity.

 

What a stroke of luck.

 

Oh, erm......

[eddyramrod]

My favourite tactic with Ikea is to try not to go near the place.

 

CMS had to though, he's got a Volvo...

[richardmorris]

I tend to go when I move house and need more stuff. Late evening is my favourite time to avoid the hoardes of hell - I have to go to Brent Cross. I have a decent sized IVAR library shelf set and tv unit. All transported by 2CV - takeing out the front passenger seat, flipping upside down and place on back seat behind driver gives a 6ft flat load area. Anything else needs the roof rolling back and a couple of bunjee cords.

[cobblers]

[Pillock]

I also like Nottingham IKEA because their meatball restaurant (other foodstuffs are available) overlooks the loading area, perfect for watching couples argue over getting a 6' bookcase in their Peugeot 107.

 

Or you can play the bed game. Wait til someone sits on a bed to try it out, and sit next to them. Right next to them. First one to chicken out and get up loses.

 

We once sat on the sofas by the entrance for so long watching couples disagree, the staff came over to make sure we were OK.

[rml2345]

Going to Ikea to have a sit down is about the most pleasant thing to do there outside the eatery. Sadly my experience of their products is mixed... Desks seem to be good if easily chipped but their Billy bookcase is crap. Eventually mine suffered complete (and spectacular) structural failure because I had the bare faced audacity to load it with books.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

just for Partridge!!

 

[vulgalour]

Managed to find a Mk1 Xantia grille!  I'm mega excited about this, been looking for one since I got the car.