What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[wuvvum]

I wonder how many of those seized cars were actually uninsured, and how many were just not on the database due to an insurance company / MID fuckup?

[DSdriver]

Statistically the least stolen car colour is pink.

[messerschmitt owner]

Statistically the least stolen car colour is pink.

statistically, the biggest cause of divorce is marriage!

[Cavcraft]

I wonder how many of those seized cars were actually uninsured, and how many were just not on the database due to an insurance company / MID fuckup?

 

Or how much of it was just bollocks. Recall they had a clamp down on people riding mini-motos on the road/other palces they shouldn't and in the local paper the coppers made a big deal of how many they'd seized and crushed. The picture in the thread showed a metal yard I used so I asked them about it and they said they'd hardly seen any at all and it was rubbish.

[Pete-M]

Prompted by a discussion earlier over on facebook about it being a mystery to one chap why Cortinas are going up in value I've been thinking a bit about the kind of cars I like, and the ones I really don't see the attraction of despite plenty of people fawning over them on a regular basis.

 

I think a fair few of the folk on here know what they like, some big fans of old Volvos, Rovers, Citroens, FSOs and old BL tat. We've even got fans of Vauxhalls. Some of us like big old barges, others choose to run diesels on veg oil. Some like gadgets, auto boxes, aircon and DRLs. Others prefer their windows to fold or clip on.

 

When it comes to market values of some stuff and it really is mad out there. You could buy a good 1980's Porsche 911 Carrera 3.2 and a good Bentley Turbo R for the price of an immaculate (and working) Citroen SM. An Escort Cosworth is worth less than a DS, but a Mk2 RS1800 Escort in mint condition could cost more than the four put together. You can buy an immaculate Audi A8 for less than the price of a scruffy Passat TDi, or a good Bristol for less than a mint Rover P5B Coupé - but the P5 3.0 Coupé is still pennies in comparison.

 

Y'know what? I can't work it out.

[Des]

It's a whole acting like sheep / just not very bright thing, not many have the ability to work out for themselves what they want, and will seek the most hyped up model, as decided by pub bores, magazines, beardys. Paranoid at splashing out on the 4 cylinder model and then being constantly reminded they should have got the 6 cylinder by wankers who have driven neither.

Trouble with acting like sheep though, just a matter of time and the farmers going to give them what for.

[dollywobbler]

It is a funny old world for sure. A really nice, late Bentley Brooklands Turbo is £20k on a dealer's forecourt, but a really early Range Rover will probably be more. Both eat fuel in an alarming manner but I think I'd take the Bentley.

 

Buy a nice MGB roadster and you'll need at least £8k these days, possibly more. Buy a nice TR7 and you'll have change from £3000. Even with a rather necessary V8, a TR7 is still only £5-6k. A Stag on the otherhand is increasingly the wrong side of £12k.

 

A Mk2 Jag? £14k upwards in 3.8 form, and that'll be an iffy one. Far better to spend £12k on an S-Type instead. Better suspension, better gearbox and much cheaper to buy. Insanity.

 

Or there's pretty much anything French that isn't an iconic Citroen. Renault 5s are great cars, but hard to get more than £800 for. The Peugeot 205 is arguably the car that saved Peugeot from a life of building utterly uninspiring cars, but they're worth sod all. Choose your future. Choose autoshite.

[messerschmitt owner]

it's true - I've always liked microcars and back in the day you could pick them up for £50 or so.

 

Here's my list of microcar purchases from 1987-91

 

Isetta - £525

Messerschmitt - £200

Isetta - £50

Nobel - £200

Trojan - £350

Bond MkC -£350

Isetta - £500 (T&T)

Fiat 500 - £100

Fiat Giardineria - £150

Berkeley T60 (x2) £700

Berkeley B95 - £2000 (with £3000 numberplate at the time)

Trabant P50 - £700 (T&T)

NSU Prinz - various from £50-300 (T&T)

Trojan - £200

Trojan - £75

Heinkel A0 scooter - £125

lambretta Ld125 - £100

Lambretta Li150 - £50

 

There are more but those are the notable ones - now the real bubble cars would be £3-10k in unrestored condition and most of the others over a grand a pop. I've scrapped microcars that today would be restored.

 

My Schmitt was £200 with a spare engine, manuals, tools, plus other spares - now £10k would just about buy it (solid but needing a body resto, retrim and repaint). I think what I could buy for £10k now:-

Porsche 911/912

Lotus Esprit turbo

Ferrari 308

Maserati (Merak or similar)

WW2 Jeep

Dodge Weapons Carrier

 

there's lots of stuff I could buy and have change -

vauxhall PA Cresta

Bedford CA Camper

Land Rover Series 1

Porsche 928S

Opel Manta A

Opel GT

E Series Vauxhall

a choice of TVRs or Lotuses

[messerschmitt owner]

making me grin are the good people of Autoshite, who can always be trusted to come good when favours are asked, and potential new cars need looked at ...

[Negative Creep]

The Peugeot 205 is arguably the car that saved Peugeot from a life of building utterly uninspiring cars, but they're worth sod all. Choose your future. Choose autoshite.

 

Well, it gave the uninspiring cars a stay of execution (or rather introduction) instead. I agree they aren't worth much, and there are still a far few knocking around, although hte GTI is very much the exception and will be a major scene tax victim very soon

 

 

 

Also, the latest Sniff Petrol

 

Ask A Total Prick From An Internet Forum…

 

Dear Total Prick From An Internet Forum, We have a baby on the way and I’m going to need a more practical car. I like the look of the Nissan Qashqai and I notice the Kia Sportage is good value but now I’m reading good things about the new Mazda CX-5. Which to chose? All advice gratefully received! Neil, Warwick

 

A Total Prick From An Internet Forum replies… First of all, welcome to the site. Secondly, is this how you would normally introduce yourself? You just come in here and start asking questions like you own the place? Get some manners. Here’s a tip; why not go to some car showrooms and look at these cars for yourself? We are not your personal car shopping service and the sooner you realise that, the sooner you will fit in around here. Also, why the hell are you looking at cars like that? Total. Waste. Of. Time. I have a Honda Civic Type-S that does 99 percent of the things that those so called off roaders can do, it’s great to drive and it has literally never gone wrong. If you buy a fake 4×4 you’re an idiot. Okay?

 

Dear Total Prick From An Internet Forum, I’ve had my 2005 Golf TDI for two years now and it’s been totally fault free. However, just this week the central locking has started playing up. Sometimes it won’t unlock all the doors but if I lock it again and then unlock it that usually works. Is this a known fault with these cars? Is it worth getting it looked at or should I just live with it? Cheers! Simon, Dundee

 

A Total Prick From An Internet Forum replies… Let me ask you this – have you ever heard of a little thing called the search facility? It would allow you to look for other people on the site who have had similar problems without wasting everyone’s time with ridiculous threads like this. This is not some free automotive electrical consultancy you know. Also, Golf TDI? Seriously? Why would you even buy something like that unless you were a total idiot who knew nothing about cars? When I bought my Honda Civic Type-S four years ago I looked at literally every car on sale at the time and the HCT-S was literally the best car available of any kind. Why you didn’t buy one of those I cannot understand. My central locking works perfectly. There’s a reason why yours doesn’t. Is it National Idiot Day today or something?

 

Dear Total Prick From An Internet Forum, I’ve got a beautiful blue Citroen Saxo. I call her Sadie! Does anyone else have a Saxo! I love my Saxo!!! Claire, Guildford

 

A Total Prick From An Internet Forum replies… Hey Claire! Welcome to the site! Like the sound of your Saxo! Great cars! I see you’re in Guildford. That’s not far from me. You might see me around sometimes in my black Honda Civic Type-S. We should have a forum meet-up some time! Hope you’re still enjoying your Saxo! Do you have any pictures of yourself in your Saxo? Take care. TPFAIF x

[triumph1300]

What forum is that from?! ^

[Volksy]

www.sniffpetrol.com

[autofive]

just watching The Hot Potato (2010) - a film chocked full of autoshite

 

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1641252/

[scaryoldcortina]

 

[chaseracer]

Can't get on with that.

 

It's not so much the use of the Fiasco doors - Bond used Herald units to good effect - but, combined with the rear side windows from the same car, I can't help seeing "early Fiesta with plastic bits wobbed on either end". Which I suspect is NOT what the maker intended...

[RedSparrow]

Man those things are awkward looking. Designer mustve been gutten when he was told he had to use fiesta doors and glass.

[tonedepear]

It looks EXACTLY like a Lotus Excel, only much cooler.

[Cavcraft]

Couldnt agree more about the 205. Ace little cars, surely saved Peugeot's arse from boring old cars and the GTi is a gilt edged investment at the moment.

Driven loads of 205s from petrol to diesel and loved them, they're really under rated little cars that are surprisingly well made and mostly good fun to drive.

[michiel]

It looks EXACTLY like a Lotus Excel, only much cooler.

 

True that, and that one up there is the best Ginasty I have ever seen.

[willswitchengage]

 

This will leave you scratching your head for a LONG time

[M'coli]

 

This will leave you scratching your head for a LONG time

Not as entertaining as the 1990s OU play about infinity with the main charachter being played by Susannah Doyle in skin-tight leggings.

[Spiny Norman]

[panhard65]

Just got my renault 14 mot'ed today just got to wait for the paperwork to come back from the DVLA and we are one the road

[vulgalour]

That's an ace picture, I love that green.

[dollywobbler]

This makes me grin. Stupid I know.

 

[Timewaster]

That's an ace picture, I love that green.

 

I love the garage name. Rover specialist perhaps?

[trigger]

Driving the 1993 Touring Cars - BMW 3 Series E36 - Ford Mondeo V6 & Vauxhall Cavalier V6 1993 (1) by Trigger's Retro Road Tests!, on Flickr

 

Is it wrong to really want that blue Mondeo V6?

[TimothyClaypole]

The bonnet looks too short?

[Cavcraft]

Biggest con there is having that shit plastered down the side of the Cavalier

[Albert Ross]

I had a set of those Mundano wheels in RWD offset for my Sierra Mk1 Estate 2.1, which was nice.