What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[richardmorris]

I do similar with supplier questionnaires for customers that don’t make human contact, nothing ever comes of it so I assume no one reads them. 

Average number of employees? 2.5

Do you have an equal opportunities policy? Well no, but that’s because there are two of us and a written policy seems like a waste of time etc

 

[clayts450]

Achtung - football alert.

It's like travelling back in time with Amazon Prime's Premier League coverage - commentary team Peter Drury and Jim Beglin. Like ITV about five years ago..

Am disappoint, however, they haven't wheeled out Big Ron, the racist twat.

[MikeR]

1 hour ago, Wack said:

Took some parcels to the post office , the woman behind the counter has lost weight and bought a new dress , black and very tight , she's about 30 and looks fantastic in it , all tits, and arse , not sure me standing there with my mouth wide open having a moment was what she's aiming for but she's got a body that would stop traffic so I can't imagine I'm the first today to go a bit weak at the knees 

 

We had a girl in the factory ... Who was called.   ....   Spanner 

Everytime she walked past your nuts would tighten .

[Parky]

We had a girl in the office known as Marvellous.  Imaginative lot weren’t we?

it was true though, she was just un-be-lievable in every way.  Even though all the guys listed after her, she was just so far out of our league we didn’t even try.

[Parky]

Anyway, speaking of grins, two months after being shunted off the road by a fucking idiot, my fucking idiot insurer, in conjunction with fucking idiot repair shop finally agreed a final valuation on my car.  Well short of where it should be.

Mention of misleading brochure wording and the review of it by four insurance professionals, each of whom recommended approaching the ombudsman ensured the final payment was reviewed to exactly what it should be.  All I need do now is send off some papers and we’re all done.

Next up is finding something for two grand to get Mrs P mobile again,  needs to be comfy and reliable so am thinking Corolla or Yaris as they always seem to be the answer don’t they?

[loserone]

I heard the Perodua Kelisa was the new Toyota Yaris

[Parky]

I can’t get a Kelisa, Mrs P knows they are a bigger fanny magnet than the Satsuma GT and a fat 46 year old in one of those would cause so much consternation and sheer bloody lust from the women of East London that productivity would be significantly reduced and crash the economy or somesuch. 

 

[Mrcento]

Honestly can't decide what estate with leather bum heaters i want between the 406 and Vec, so done the responsible thing and looked at what the insurance would be if i bought both.... Because nothing says WINNING like a man with 2 estates.

For once, the insurance aren't doing the thing where i can have 1 car for around £300-350 and wanting 2 grand for each and every car on top of that and would let me have more than 1 at a reasonable price..... ffs, i was hoping it'd put me off the idea ?

[Roobarb]

On 12/1/2019 at 8:15 AM, junkyarddog said:

Went to the local cars and coffee meet today.

My little piece of mediocre 70's Japanese motoring got a rosette!

Not very often things like this happen to me,my cars are generally borderline scrap.

Not only did that make me grin, it kind of made my day. 

Im always trawling the for sale ads here in the US for an early Corolla like that. I had a 75ish as my first car. It was bright orange and was know to all of my mates as Cyril. 

To see one in such peachy condition is a real thing of wonder. Thanks for posting!

[iainrcz]

Dave and his exhaust.
Whoops

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[Timewaster]

10 hours ago, Wack said:

Took some parcels to the post office , the woman behind the counter has lost weight and bought a new dress , black and very tight , she's about 30 and looks fantastic in it , all tits, and arse , not sure me standing there with my mouth wide open having a moment was what she's aiming for but she's got a body that would stop traffic so I can't imagine I'm the first today to go a bit weak at the knees 

 

So how many empty boxes have you posted to yourself so far? 

[Tadhg Tiogar]

12 hours ago, Wack said:

... not sure me standing there with my mouth wide open ....

Just as well it wasn't your flies wide open. 

[chaseracer]

'Tis the season...

[Kiltox]

11 hours ago, Parky said:

Anyway, speaking of grins, two months after being shunted off the road by a fucking idiot, my fucking idiot insurer, in conjunction with fucking idiot repair shop finally agreed a final valuation on my car.  Well short of where it should be.

Mention of misleading brochure wording and the review of it by four insurance professionals, each of whom recommended approaching the ombudsman ensured the final payment was reviewed to exactly what it should be.  All I need do now is send off some papers and we’re all done.

Next up is finding something for two grand to get Mrs P mobile again,  needs to be comfy and reliable so am thinking Corolla or Yaris as they always seem to be the answer don’t they?

Finally!! About fucking time. 

[Wack]

7 hours ago, Timewaster said:

So how many empty boxes have you posted to yourself so far? 

I'm not paying £2.90 to look at her body in a tight dress

 

Hmmm now I read that back it sound's quite good value for money

[Wack]

16 hours ago, Parky said:

We had a girl in the office known as Marvellous.  Imaginative lot weren’t we?

it was true though, she was just un-be-lievable in every way.  Even though all the guys listed after her, she was just so far out of our league we didn’t even try.

A mate worked in an office a few years ago, they had a woman  they called Kronenburg , from the back she looked 16 but when she turned round it was more like 64

[anonymous user]

18 hours ago, Parky said:

 

Next up is finding something for two grand to get Mrs P mobile again,  needs to be comfy and reliable so am thinking a Chrysler 300c hemi as they always seem to be the answer don’t they?

Well for just a little bit more you could have mine

[Wack]

Looks like the tesla sales team have been busy in california , a bit too busy 

https://speedsociety.com/tesla-line-supercharger-stretches-mile-exposes/

[adw1977]

7 hours ago, Wack said:

I'm not paying £2.90 to look at her body in a tight dress

Hmmm now I read that back it sound's quite good value for money

Sadly it's a full three quid to send a parcel now.

[andy18s]

[Muniphobia]

They are all stupid, the first back to future film came out in 1985

[richardmorris]

Someone has started defacing Michael Gove's election placards. And no it isn't me ( not that I haven't thought about it). 

[Bobthebeard]

Was reading Three men in a boat by JKJ (again) last night as I couldn't sleep. Class. Laughed so much I woke up Mrs B and got told to shut up. Amazing to think that it was written in 1890 ish. 

[wuvvum]

Waiting at a red light this morning on the pushbike on the way in to work, and another cyclist on a fancy road bike went steaming past me straight through the light.  Normally this would have been a grump, but the cyclist in question was young, female and wearing an extremely tight pair of black leather leggings.  The light went green shortly thereafter, and I caught her up - normally I would have overtaken but for some reason this morning I decided that she was actually going quick enough and stayed behind for the rest of the way in.

[iainrcz]

Fixed my IP cam.

Moved it slightly to run it on ethernet.

Drilled the hole through the pvc door frame for the cables.

 

This left me with a hole to cover, and a couple of hours head scratching.

 

Being a bodging bastard I covered the hole with a ketchup bottle cap.

 

Seamless.

 

 

 

[Datsuncog]

3 hours ago, Bobthebeard said:

Was reading Three men in a boat by JKJ (again) last night as I couldn't sleep. Class. Laughed so much I woke up Mrs B and got told to shut up. Amazing to think that it was written in 1890 ish. 

I often do that with the Grossmith brothers' Diary of a Nobody. Written around the same time but still absolutely relevant today.

It does kinda help to know that things we consider pressing problems in our hectic lives were ever thus...

[Tadhg Tiogar]

1 hour ago, iainrcz said:

Fixed my IP cam.

Moved it slightly to run it on ethernet.

Drilled the hole through the pvc door frame for the cables.

 

This left me with a hole to cover, and a couple of hours head scratching.

 

Being a bodging bastard I covered the hole with a ketchup bottle cap.

 

Seamless.

 

 

 

Autoshite repair, Autoshite replace.

[iainrcz]

Autoshite repair, Autoshite replace.

AS Technology Solutions ltd.

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[paulplom]

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.


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[louiepj]

I listened to a podcast on bbc sounds, the missing cryptoqueen 
short version, Dr Ruja Ignatova sets up a rival to Bitcoin called OneCoin , it goes viral , billions of euros worldwide flood in , only it's a scam , they have no blockchain and the coin value is made up, people see their investment skyrocket only they can't spend it and the can't withdraw it so it's just numbers on a screen.
Dr Ruja legs it never to be seen again
while looking for her they go to africa , literally a village made up of a dozen houses in the middle of nowhere and they all own OneCoin , some have sold their farms to buy more based on the strength of previous investments
They go to the salesman , yes it's a pastor who happens to be driving a new Range Rover

This was a really interesting Podcast, the hype they create for OneCoin and the pyramid sales scam explosion before even mining for coins is shocking!


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