What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[Ghosty]

SPORTS CAR

[SierraMikeHotel]

Nissan Leaf with the number plate: NO04 GAS

[SierraMikeHotel]

The lady using the Tesco self checkout next to me had a bit of a problem when she accidentally scanned the barcode on her Sainsbury's bag.

I do this all the time. The machine just gives up and a staff member has to come and reset it. Most annoying.

[Guest Hooli]

Me to 3yr old daughter: Nice car... Is it fasssst?

 

Daughter: yes it is, because it has two smokes...

 

IMG_20180321_213643728.jpg

 

I honestly don't know where she's picking this stuff up from...

 

I recall years ago Fast Car mag did a 'boy racers handbook'. it included a wipers to exhaust ratio for how fast cars where, proving a XR3i with twin pipes & a single wiper 'conversion' and rear wiper removed is faster than a standard F40...

[Kiltox]

Having lunch at Wetherspoons because it’s cheap, just round the corner from my flat and I’m working from home this week so why not

 

Good to see that lunchtime drinking is alive and well, it’s absolutely rammed with people drinking. Some of them look like they might be the builders working on the site of the new flats I’m buying one of..... eek. Good effort!

 

(Grump - coffee for me)

[Guest Hooli]

Lunchtime drinking is for winners, our current office record is five pint Wednesday, so I'm the reigning champion.

[TataBobu]

 

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/EAGLEMOSS-REPLICA-MILITARY-WATCH-RUSSIAN-TANK-COMMANDER-NEW-BOXED-2-95/172888627780?epid=2267835813&hash=item2840f71a44:g:0qcAAOSwnNJZy7Nx

 

 

 

 

 

19.75 pounds for postage? Bloody greedy, man! I can get 10-15 kilos of stuff delivered from UK to Romania for that kind of money.

[beko1987]

The bloke I've been driving to and from work for the past 3 weeks isn't having much luck atm. He has his daughter this weekend, and had to skip having her last weekend because we were fixing his car/he couldnt get to her anyway.

 

He tried to hire a car for the weekend, but his driving license is still registered at another address (he used to live in another colleague of ours spare room), and his DL has to be the same as his bank account address... So no hire car. Was looking at nearly £200 for the weekend anyway

 

So fuck it, I'm not going anywhere this weekend, so £44 later he has the gooner insured from tomorrow until monday in true AUTOSHITE HIRE CAR style. I'll make sure the cable tie holding the exhaust up is there, pair his phone to my bluetooth OBD reader incase the injector light comes back on but fuck it, £44 for 3 days, I'm actually impressed, never looked into the day insurance stuff before.

 

Means I can get chauffered to work on Monday too!

[artdjones]

There's probably good money in day insurance,that annualised to around £5k pa.

[oldcars]

The bloke I've been driving to and from work for the past 3 weeks isn't having much luck atm. He has his daughter this weekend, and had to skip having her last weekend because we were fixing his car/he couldnt get to her anyway.

 

He tried to hire a car for the weekend, but his driving license is still registered at another address (he used to live in another colleague of ours spare room), and his DL has to be the same as his bank account address... So no hire car. Was looking at nearly £200 for the weekend anyway

 

So fuck it, I'm not going anywhere this weekend, so £44 later he has the gooner insured from tomorrow until monday in true AUTOSHITE HIRE CAR style. I'll make sure the cable tie holding the exhaust up is there, pair his phone to my bluetooth OBD reader incase the injector light comes back on but fuck it, £44 for 3 days, I'm actually impressed, never looked into the day insurance stuff before.

 

Means I can get chauffered to work on Monday too!

Nobody beats beko 

[beko1987]

I try, he's my best mate and my boss, plus going by the rules of 'you bend it you buy it' it'll cost him a few roffle tickets and authorising me (and him) to work from home!

[oldcars]

I try, he's my best mate and my boss, plus going by the rules of 'you bend it you buy it' it'll cost him a few roffle tickets and authorising me (and him) to work from home!

Is it the chap with the crv? What's up with it?

[beko1987]

Is it the chap with the crv? What's up with it?

He had the CRV. He sold that early last year because it needed suspension repair, and he was struggling with the fuel bills and got a Mazda 5. Which was OK, and did him well.(he split up with his girlfriend at short notice and had to go sleep at his dads whilst he sorted shit out, so the mazda did south kent to marlow and back twice a day for 4 months, so has proved itself really...)

 

Then it needed an MOT and an exhaust for it, and his dad lent him one of his spare work vans which he was tooling around in until 2 weeks ago when he hit the back of a car at 40mph who had stopped dead in the road at short notice, writing the van off.

 

So I've been picking him up and dropping him off every day because mates, he's been putting fuel in my tank and all is well. We had a spannering day on the Mazda last weekend in readiness for the MOT but that didnt go too well:

 

New front discs and pads (horrific wheel wobble and low pads). Pads were fine, discs are welded to the hub. We gave up on the discs after a while but repeated twattering has clobbered the edges, so they now rub the pads...

 

New exhaust due to a rotten centre section. The part he bought needs the exhaust removing, cutting past the cat and the replacement section sleeves over the top. We found this out in the snow at 2pm on Saturday... so just fitted the backbox.

 

The layup over christmas has killed the battery, which is causing the ABS to not be happy and making the radio turn on and off. Worried I'd fucked the ABS sensor we hooked it up to the gooner and I fed it some volts whilst he lock to locked it, all fine. Take the gooner off and the ABS kicks off so that seems to just be a good, honest dead battery at least

 

Current plan is he's found a type approved cat and exhaust centre section, so buy that and a new lambda and lob that on. See if the copious amounts of plusgas the discs got has helped whilst we are there, or send it to the local garage so they can swear at it. OR, twat the dented bits of the disc back so they dont rub on the pads... Borrow my battery to take it for the test incase it fails on anything else, then get a battery for it

 

Mates eh! Makes my various personal issues pale into insignificance really

[PhilA]

I recall years ago Fast Car mag did a 'boy racers handbook'. it included a wipers to exhaust ratio for how fast cars where, proving a XR3i with twin pipes & a single wiper 'conversion' and rear wiper removed is faster than a standard F40...

Glovebox: Fancy name for a horizontal bin .

 

I have a copy of that somewhere. It was moderately amusing

 

 

Phil

[omegod]

I've ground a slit in the discs from the outer edge down to as close to the hub as you dare, kind of relaxes the grip on the hub, then twat it with a lump hammer from behind 

 

worked for me anyway !

[beko1987]

I've ground a slit in the discs from the outer edge down to as close to the hub as you dare, kind of relaxes the grip on the hub, then twat it with a lump hammer from behind

 

worked for me anyway !

If I had a grinder that would be a plan! I couldn't twat it really hard either as we didn't have it up high enough, and I was sat infront of it. When we try again I'll lay under it and give it a proper clout and see what happens.

[Cavcraft]

[FakeConcern]

Nissan Leaf with the number plate: NO04 GAS

I think I may have posted that before, not sure which thread though!

 

[STUNO]

The back of another paper clipping !

 

 

[clayts450]

Been mildly concerned that the Streetshite may be well overdue a belt change (due at 60K miles, currently sat on 65K). I've had the car 10 months and it wasn't until today that I took the time to actually read an obscure sticker hidden behind the drivers door A pillar - looking at it closely I realised it was actually a tiny diagram of the timing belt, with a note saying changed at 45K. Win win

[Guest Hooli]

Glovebox: Fancy name for a horizontal bin .

 

I have a copy of that somewhere. It was moderately amusing

 

 

Phil

 

I've still got my copy somewhere...

[robinmasters]

[Slartibartfast]

Woof

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Today one of my daughters sent me this message.

"Today's hire car is some sort of fake Evoque, it's shit!"

 

 

 

I've never been more proud, my job as a parent has been successful.

[bub2006]

Found young ones on sky. Started watching all the set and now I'm not going to get this image out my head!

[DodgeRover]

The back of another paper clipping !

 

ad 1975 2 001.JPG

Second down on left hand side

Holden Kingswood

 

Third down

Mazda RX2

[fordperv]

Glovebox: Fancy name for a horizontal bin .

 

I have a copy of that somewhere. It was moderately amusing

 

 

Phil

If you find it post the section up to jog my memory, I vaguely remember it

[SierraMikeHotel]

Went to see a Police Dog Hogan gig last night, which always raises a grin - brilliant if you enjoy west-country Americana.  Jamie Freeman excellent as always in support too.

 

I particularly enjoy the current PDH merchandise and couldn't resist buying a tea towel.

 

[richardmorris]

https://www.facebook.com/MutterderMannmitdemkoksistda/videos/1931680533760740/

[dollywobbler]

Leaving the National Extortion Centre, I was annoyed that I'd failed to acquire a free parking pass. As I got near the payment booth, I noticed that despite a huge abundance of people in hi-vis, they weren't actually checking tickets, so I just left.

 

Then I saw this. Happy times!