What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[M'coli]

Sister spotted this in Lowestoft yesterday....IMG-20180222-WA0000.jpg

I'd rather drink my own piss!

[Tamworthbay]

I'd rather drink my own piss!

It’s the same thing isn’t it?

[Cavcraft]

I’ve been upgraded from a ‘buffed up piss spoon’ at work to ‘Small cock Billy (whose) growing his beard hair and bum hair listening to Radio 1 riding round in a hairdresser’s Ford Puma having a mid life crisis’

[andy18s]

You make that sound like it's a bad thing

[M'coli]

It’s the same thing isn’t it?

No, my pish has more taste and body!

[Guest Hooli]

It’s the same thing isn’t it?

 

Nah that's fosters.

[Ghosty]

Went to buy a new office chair, and who should I find to sell me one but Junkman’s acquaintance John of the mintola blue R16! Did me a good deal too

[hairnet]

Iceland air the ticket has written on it

 

Oh you can't check in online

 

Got a email this morning

 

Click here to check in

 

Wtf does Ryanair run them too

[bub2006]

You got lucky with the weather! We've barely seen the sun this year. Typical that I was up in Blackburn when the sun shone back home.

Don't let the pictures mislead. It was around 5 degrees and blowing a gale. The mountain road to Aberystwyth was fun. I was amazed at the artic wagon in front of me and how he handled it.

[Saabnut]

Major grin day today! I aquired a Holden Suburban to be the new tow barge from a friend a few weeks ago, where it had been parked in the open on a Scottish hillside for the last 3 years. A couple of weeks was spent replacing rotten pipes etc before getting it home where I have been slowly getting it ready for MOT. This morning was warm(ish) and sunny, and before doing anything to any of the motors decided to do a tip run with the Saab. On my way back, I called in to see my MOT man to see when he had a slot available, only to be told to bring it in at 1630!

Returned home, did a few final checks and duly turned up for a test. All was going well until he spotted a damp patch on a rusty fuel line, but after promises from me, and threats from him, he put it down as an advisory and it now has a years MOT. Got home and replaced the rusty section of fuel line with some proper petrol hose, so all is good. Will tax it next week and see what it is like, but I am happy.

 

 

[Slappy]

Popped to Tesco after work, parked up, got phone out as I was walking down the path to the shop and then caught something out of the corner of my eye.....

 

So far, so nothing really unusual for us lot.... until I heard the second time "Oh do you like our Maya".

 

"Ah balls", thought I, "I've finally been caught taking pics of someones else's car". Do I a) run away very quickly b ) apologise profusely for I am British or c) chat to the owners slightly awkwardly for 10 minutes.... because I'm British?

 

The answer was C and I'm glad I did actually. 'Maya' is a 1.6 GLX Auto (sorry, not a Penza), it was a retired husband and wife who were coming back to their car and it was his late mother's from new. The wife did most of the talking, amazed that someone so young was interested in a car so old (we're the same age) and was gently trying to encourage the husband to part ways with the car to me for a suitable price!

 

I explained that I was on a car forum where we love cars exactly like this, to which the wife said that they had put it up for sale last year for £2,000, and I have their number in case anyone might be interested...

 

I was then given the tour, apparently it's been garaged it's entire life, sunroof has "probably" never been opened. There were a few scratches around the wings, but I didn't spot any obvious welding, though the husband did say that a rear suspension turret has been worked on after a spring broke. The inside looked even better, no obvious signs of wear on anything despite actually having done about 46k, it just looked all very honest to be honest.

 

It was a nice local car too, to finish off (along with noticing that there was a rear wiper through the rear glass on a saloon, unheard of now) here's the original dealer sticker....

[Tadhg Tiogar]

....the wife said that they had put it up for sale last year for £2,000, and I have their number in case anyone might be interested...

 

I was then given the tour, apparently it's been garaged it's entire life, sunroof has "probably" never been opened. There were a few scratches around the wings, but I didn't spot any obvious welding, though the husband did say that a rear suspension turret has been worked on after a spring broke. The inside looked even better, no obvious signs of wear on anything despite actually having done about 46k, it just looked all very honest to be honest.

 

It was a nice local car too, to finish off (along with noticing that there was a rear wiper through the rear glass on a saloon, unheard of now) here's the original dealer sticker....

She really let you have the hard sell, didn't she?

[Slappy]

Oh totally! Utterings were had about the husband having too many cars too

[bramz7]

Someone I work with called up an ECU place who seemed to have fudged their car whilst it had a remap, with it going into limp mode or such like (he mentioned the EML is permanently on too) every 3 miles now. He had called them over and over and they just kept ignoring him.

 

Anyway he wrote a threatening letter, trading standards etc, not up to reasonable standard, which seemed to finally pique their interest, he had a reasonably* heated call with them this afternoon.

 

The owner of the garage not only told him to 'wind his neck in' but also said he shouldn't have to refund him as 'to be fair your car isn't worth that much.' 

 

What a knobber! I am quite glad he didn't get me on the end of the phone as I would have bloody told him where to stick his opinions. 

 

In the end though I think he agreed to refund the guy, as his aggression tactics fell on deaf ears. Mind you, his car is still fucked. 

[catsinthewelder]

Where do you generally stand with garages (or builders) fucking things up?

 

A local garage snapped a glowplug they were changing on one of the Transit vans at work.  They phoned up to ask if it would be OK to take the head off to get it out.  I said no, we would live with 3 as it is going soon.  The van is only 3 and a half years old FFS surely we shouldn't be putting up with that shit.  We did put up with this as they are far more competent than the last garage.

 

If I fuck up a job for a customer I will fix it for free.  This isn't to say that all jobs are finished on time and on budget,  sometimes things take longer because the wood is rotten behind the paint or you dig down to find unexpected concrete.

[DodgeRover]

Modern transits start without heat anyway unless it's minus temperatures don't they?

[Wack]

Oh totally! Utterings were had about the husband having too many cars too

You were getting cucked , if you'd fell for it handcuffs and a whip were on the agenda , come and look at my car , the paperwork is upstairs

[155V6]

A customer turned up in this today to buy a bag of horse feed,we gave him some water too 

 

[AMC Rebel]

Major grin day today! I aquired a Holden Suburban to be the new tow barge from a friend a few weeks ago, where it had been parked in the open on a Scottish hillside for the last 3 years. A couple of weeks was spent replacing rotten pipes etc before getting it home where I have been slowly getting it ready for MOT. This morning was warm(ish) and sunny, and before doing anything to any of the motors decided to do a tip run with the Saab. On my way back, I called in to see my MOT man to see when he had a slot available, only to be told to bring it in at 1630!

Returned home, did a few final checks and duly turned up for a test. All was going well until he spotted a damp patch on a rusty fuel line, but after promises from me, and threats from him, he put it down as an advisory and it now has a years MOT. Got home and replaced the rusty section of fuel line with some proper petrol hose, so all is good. Will tax it next week and see what it is like, but I am happy.

 

I bloody love those and have resolved to own one at some point

[Louise2cv]

Where do you generally stand with garages (*OR BUILDERS*) fucking things up?

 

 

Oh don't. *Triggered*

 

 

Small claims. It's been going months and we still haven't got anywhere. We have been complaining to he builder for a year now, been through their trade body ADR scheme. It's finally at the local court, but haven't heard from them for nearly a month.

[hairnet]

 

[MorrisItalSLX]

Found this picture in the for sale ad for the Dyane:

 

 

Winning at life?

 

https://www.carsales.com.au/private/details/Citroen-Dyane-1979/SSE-AD-5274671/?Cr=10

[dollywobbler]

That BX is an amazing colour!

[gm]

I'm on the train to work just now, the conductor has just announced "ladies and gentlemen, we apologise for the late running of this train today, the reason for this is a streaker was running through the tunnels at haymarket"

[D Spares & Tyres]

Where do you generally stand with garages (or builders) fucking things up?

 

A local garage snapped a glowplug they were changing on one of the Transit vans at work.  They phoned up to ask if it would be OK to take the head off to get it out.  I said no, we would live with 3 as it is going soon.  The van is only 3 and a half years old FFS surely we shouldn't be putting up with that shit.  We did put up with this as they are far more competent than the last garage.

 

If I fuck up a job for a customer I will fix it for free.  This isn't to say that all jobs are finished on time and on budget,  sometimes things take longer because the wood is rotten behind the paint or you dig down to find unexpected concrete.

Undoing a glow plug is a simple job. A child could do it. If it snapped then its the poxy vans fault. Have a heart

[Tadhg Tiogar]

Oh totally! Utterings were had about the husband having too many cars too

 

Reminds me of "Aunty Wainwright" in Last Of The Summer Wine. Nobody came out of her shop without having "bought" something.....

[chaseracer]

I'm on the train to work just now, the conductor has just announced "ladies and gentlemen, we apologise for the late running of this train today, the reason for this is a streaker was running through the tunnels at haymarket"

 

Maister Flower on shift again...? 

[drum]

The reason I've moved into the countryside.

 

Good for the soul after a crap day at work.

 

I had to stop this morning and take a pic.

[sierraman]

Got back on good terms with my brother, we fell out some time ago over something really minor. Things over the past week made us think what a bloody silly thing it was to bust up. If I've learnt anything in the past week its that times too precious commodity.

[MorrisItalSLX]

I went looking in my shed for some tail light bulbs and found a heap, even some NOS ford ones



I also found a life time supply of 30 amp fuses



I've never even heard of Australux