What is Autoshite?

[Twiggy]

It`s home !

[forddeliveryboy]

Autoshite is two fingers up to the modern world of motoring of large monthly payments for shitty Passats, Binis and Audi A1s which the standing orders never buy.

 

Where everyone thinks 'I'm worth it', or rather "it's worth it" - meaning it's worth putting up with rapacious main stealers, a jarring ride, offensive aesthetics and limited space inside massive bodies which won't allow the doors open once you've parked it in a single garage, all for a glitzy, I'm rich, bling look. Power and speed and handling and ABS and amazing computer screens make it all the more ironic that, away from motorways, people seem to be driving slower than ever, even when traffic is light.

 

It's spending half an hour cross-referencing parts numbers to find quality (new) brake pads for 99p a box, discs for a fiver each and second hand wings. It keeps your feet on the ground when a full tank of government fuel tax costs a quarter of the car's worth.   

 

It's quietly subversive, suggesting that you're a big and wise enough person to know that a small patch of rust doesn't mean the car's dangerous, or that a crease in the bodywork doesn't make it handle like an old BMW. Many realise they're taken to the cleaners by the modern world, but simply haven't the ability to not be a sheep and blindly follow the rest.

 

As the 2cv owner once replied, "thanks, pleased you know about them" to the Rolls-Royce owner at a filling station (when RR were British and 2cvs were perceived as pure autoshite) who nodded his head in recognition and thought the owner of the tin snail was ogling his fine British automobile, saying "wonderful piece of engineering old boy".

 

It's admitting to aralditing friction linings to the handbrake shoes of a V70, because the car was needed today and even Amazon couldn't deliver to darkest Yorkshire within the hour, at 8pm. In the real* world of pistonheads and elsewhere, you'd be jumped on from a great height for such irresponsible* behaviour. 

 

 

It can also cover stuff that most people do like, but are a bit shit to drive by today's standards if we are honest, such as 2CV's or others.
 

 

Reminded me to quote this post:

 

Went with my mum as she's got stuff she wanted rid of so we went in my Granada, nice big estate and her Focus wasn't big enough to fit all the rubbish in.

First thing she said when she got into it was ask if it's safe to drive! Yeah ok it looks rough as hell but it's perfectly fine. I think she was a bit embaressed being in it!
Anyway, we get most of the way there and she says 'hmm, this thing lovely to be in!, it's so smooth and comfortable!' She then said it's nicer to be in than her modern Focus.
 

 

It's the Top Gear/motoring journos who judge a car's worth by how well it feels/looks to manage a race track who've instilled this idea of a wooden ride=good.

[holbeck]

Autoshite is just about .......... none of them shouting "look at me I'm the fucking best"

 

A lot of other forum's are just a dick swinging competition.

 

 

No one here is trying to Lord it over you by buying a Talbot Rancho, in fact we're all genuinely excited and that is a rare thing in this world.

 

(With apologies to Mr. Skizzer for using his purchase to illustrate a general point).

[danthecapriman]

I don't think autoshite is necessarily about solely cars most people think are or were shit or a bit naff. It's about having something that's not current and keeping it going. If that's a 60's Minor, a 70's yank tank, an 80's Sierra or a 00's Astra, it doesn't matter. The point is your not blindly following a crowd, but having what you want or making do with something older because it's better than pissing money up the wall at the local main dealers for a new car every three years.

 

Further to that, for me personally it's about living in the past a bit. The cars I love were the ones that were everywhere in their day but are now rarely seen. I do get a bit of a kick out of keeping such things around and using them. Likewise there's few pleasures quite so good as when I'm burbling around in the Mercury feeling like the king of the road in something nobody else has that really stands out, all for the price of some shitty new Astra or Focus!

The great thing here is about it being such a broad church. I can post about my old Fords, then read about a rusty as fuck Focus then a Citroen 2cv resto, then a Rancho impulse buy... The list is endless! Nobody looks down their nose at anyone else doing it either, anything and everything goes.

[Bobthebeard]

To me Autoshite is about the folks on here. Some I have met, most I have not met. The folks I have met are, without exception nice people. The cars are relevent of course, but not of primary importance. It is the spirit of this forum that I find compelling. The readiness to help and advise, the wit, humour and general all round comradeship. The fact that I feel I can instinctively trust someone on here with no more reason than he/she is here. The devotion put in by Daveb47 (unpaid) speaks volumes also. This forum is an oasis in the internet desert IMHO.

[danthecapriman]

To me Autoshite is about the folks on here. Some I have met, most I have not met. The folks I have met are, without exception nice people. The cars are relevent of course, but not of primary importance. It is the spirit of this forum that I find compelling. The readiness to help and advise, the wit, humour and general all round comradeship. The fact that I feel I can instinctively trust someone on here with no more reason than he/she is here. The devotion put in by Daveb47 (unpaid) speaks volumes also. This forum is an oasis in the internet desert IMHO.

This! Rings very true.

I think it a little bit (and I mean no offence to anyone btw) out of order for people to complain about the place when it's all a free site, no membership fees etc and it's down to the efforts of Daveb47 and mods who get nothing out of it really.

[sierraman]

Beating the system!!

[Junkman]

neither age nor value matter, somebody doing a live collection of a brand new Saipa Tiba (new and costs 10000$ )would be a star here.

 

And lead me not into temptation, but deliver me from newfangled tosh...

For thine is the Tagoras, and their power, and their glory, for ever.

 

Amen

 

 

Then drive it home from Iran, after having stalked Laleh Seddigh a bit?

Rah, etc etc.

[plasticvandan]

Its brown.its beige.its Mr trebus crossed with Arthur Daley.

Its where the question "Trabant or Polonez?" Is answered with total seriousness.Its where bub bumps into things,its where Vulg fits new wipers to a cracked windscreen,its where Trigger polishes underseal.It is shite.

 

*Cunt. (Cuntstats 2016)

[tooSavvy]

My Savvy was a 'non car'- I bought it new cos I wanted one and it was a new model launch.

 

I liked it, drove it a LOT, fixed it up with bottles + cable ties, serviced it correctly.... never FTP

 

However, it was going brown faster than a slice of apple & 'something came up!'.

 

Stations' Toyyo isn't SHIT - it's FAB!

 

Still $hite though...

 

I cannot thank all concerned [Dave particularly] enough for the site & spirit of A$.

 

 

HERE is $HITE

 

 

TS

[anonymous user]

I prefer idiosyncratic.

 

(!)

 

Sent from my SM-G920F using Tapatalk

I disagree, I prefer around the twist (ok that may just be me)

[DaveDorson]

buying a car blind from a bloke you've never met on the strength of a decent MOT and some pictures.  

 

And being excited about a car that was considered utterly awful even when it was new. 

[Laseraligningfoofooflanges]

Problem is most of the lads you work with on site or in an office (if you do that) etc. All want a white audi tdi on lease.. Old cars are bangers and frowned upon.

 

Driving something hanging is seen as mark of shame

 

Where else can you talk to people about old rovers??? Because it isnt easy in wider society.

 

Regardless of whos an old member/new member, We all hate fucking pcp'd moderns and this aspirational bullshit.

 

Taking pics of your new 116d on black 19's on instagram... this site is the polar opposite.

[anonymous user]

I'm not sure if the "we all hate moderns, particularly on finance" is completely true. I'm sure some do have a modern car, whether paid fo,r or on a finance or pcp deal. When I was working I had modern cars and changed them every three years, ok I usually had something else as well but didn't rely on it as transport.

 

I think we all have an interest in older cars (some will still have an interest in new ones as well). The age of the older cars of interest will vary as well, some of us are older people therefore old cars will be even older again. Yes the obscure ones are probably of more interest, but it's also good to see how people are keeping some of the newer stuff going.

 

For some the forum is amusing, for some instructional, for some helpful, for others it's to experience the vicarious enjoyment of somebody else doing something stupid, for a change.

 

I'd like to say that it's somewhere where we can all agree to disagree, but that hasn't been happening enough lately.

 

I also think it is time that there was a separate for sale section, sometimes the front page has loads of cars on there, other times they can drop off very quickly if there's a lot going on. Not everyone is after another car all the time (ok some are), I know it's been discussed quite a few times and usually dismissed I know you can search using the tag, but still would like a separate section (partly so I don't get tempted too often)

 

edited to add this probably wasn't the place for that last bit, I'll raise it again

Edited August 10, 2016 by anonymous user

[BorniteIdentity]

I'm not sure if the "we all hate moderns, particularly on finance" is completely true. I'm sure some do have a modern car, whether paid fo,r or on a finance or pcp deal. When I was working I had modern cars and changed them every three years, ok I usually had something else as well but didn't rely on it as transport.

 

I think we all have an interest in older cars (some will still have an interest in new ones as well). The age of the older cars of interest will vary as well, some of us are older people therefore old cars will be even older again. Yes the obscure ones are probably of more interest, but it's also good to see how people are keeping some of the newer stuff going.

 

For some the forum is amusing, for some instructional, for some helpful, for others it's to experience the vicarious enjoyment of somebody else doing something stupid, for a change.

 

I'd like to say that it's somewhere where we can all agree to disagree, but that hasn't been happening enough lately.

 

I also think it is time that there was a separate for sale section, sometimes the front page has loads of cars on there, other times they can drop off very quickly if there's a lot going on. Not everyone is after another car all the time (ok some are), I know it's been discussed quite a few times and usually dismissed I know you can search using the tag, but still would like a separate section (partly so I don't get tempted too often)

 

edited to add this probably wasn't the place for that last bit, I'll raise it again

Concur on the last paragraph.

 

One thread for "Bangernomics Buys" where people just add their own car like on the tat thread would be fine. It can house everything that's not a good fit for the shite.

[scdan4]

...

Once when he was watching the TV with his wife and kids something came on that he objected to so he grabbed a pair of scissors and snipped through the wire. ...

 

fucking impressive scissors 

[cros]

fucking impressive scissors 

Just grabbed the wife's 3 quid from Aldi kitchen scissors, snip, now how the fuck am I going to be able to watch the Three day Nanny about to start on channel 4?

 

THANKS A FUCKING BUNCH

[fred]

It is the only site I know of , where folk are willing to go and help a fellow shiter without question.

The only site I know of , where all Shite is loved and coveted .

And the fact you can open up about your mental, and physical ailments and get help there too .

Its the universal site of goodliness , the one stop shop for anything from Model cars, to obscure technical help - Amazing choddery and fat nakkid women on rusty bonnets

[EssDeeWon]

Autoshite is two fingers up to the modern world of motoring of large monthly payments for shitty Passats, Binis and Audi A1s which the standing orders never buy.

 

Yes very much this.

[Skizzer]

A lot of other forum's are just a dick swinging competition.

 

 

No one here is trying to Lord it over you by buying a Talbot Rancho, in fact we're all genuinely excited and that is a rare thing in this world.

 

(With apologies to Mr. Skizzer for using his purchase to illustrate a general point).

Absolutely no apology required. As you say, I'm certainly not trying to Lord it over anyone with the Rancho or any of my other purchases: the opposite in fact, the way I see it is we're ALL getting to enjoy a Rancho, like we're all sharing in the meticulous restoration of a certain blue mk1 Cavalier, and a V8 Hyundai Stellar, and haunted P6s and a reluctant Renault 6 and taking the dogs out in a slightly tatty 1940s Bentley.

 

That's what it's all about, for me. Bangernomics lives here too and sometimes they overlap.

[Split_Pin]

I mainly come on here for the craic which is top quality every day.

 

Unlike most car forums or clubs, members here are in the main decent, honest, people who also have a sense of humour. In other words, no jakies or chanty wrastlers.

 

I don't think I would have embarked on tonight's collection adventure had it not been for this place.

 

Oh and the currently active Rancho thread is sublime, particularly as it includes scale models!

[DVee8]

It is virtually impossible to define Autoshite in a meaningful way,due to having different versions of the same recipe.

[Faker]

Love for the unloved for me. I used to be in the trade, and have no desires to loose heaps of money on new car payments. For me the challenge is to have free motoring (or as near as be damned) for my daily transportation. Run a relatively unloved or undesirable car (not necessarily on a shoe string) and have a sense of achievement because I don't have to follow the hype. I do spend a fortune on my proper classics though.... which sort of ruins my argument slightly.

[Cleon-Fonte]

'What is Autoshite?'

 

It's a place to come and moan about Autoshite, or so it would seem.

[Junkman]

I believe Autoshite, or rather Autoshiteism, isn't merely a segment of the old car hobby, but a fully fledged subculture, that is much more widespread than this forum ever will or even can be. That's why I'm still a bit miffed, that Wikipedia dismissed our article.

 

At the core of Autoshitism is the appreciation of old cars for being more than mere transportation, most likely triggered by as many reasons as there are Autoshiters.

A possible common denominator though, is the desire to be somewhat nonconformist towards the mainstream old car hobby, which is motivated to a great degree by the desire to invest money into tangible assets, that then can be enjoyed, even sociably. In contrast, Autoshitism is completely void of the desire to profiteer financially, it's the pure love of the automobile that is the motivating factor and the monetary level this is happening on is merely depending on the wealthiness (or lack thereof) of the individual Shiter.

 

And the whole thing is a subculture, because a significant proportion of Autoshiters have an analog nonconformist attitude towards other aspects of their lives, some even their lives in general.

[chaseracer]

'What is Autoshite?'

 

It's a place to come and moan about Autoshite, or so it would seem.

 

Only in a few dark corners.

[chaseracer]

I believe Autoshite, or rather Autoshiteism, isn't merely a segment of the old car hobby, but a fully fledged subculture, that is much more widespread than this forum ever will or even can be. That's why I'm still a bit miffed, that Wikipedia dismissed our article.

 

Time we tried again...

[castros_bro]

I believe Autoshite, or rather Autoshiteism, isn't merely a segment of the old car hobby, but a fully fledged subculture, that is much more widespread than this forum ever will or even can be. That's why I'm still a bit miffed, that Wikipedia dismissed our article.

 

 

 

I am not miffed a bit,  I put effort into that Wikifuck attempt but I'd rather try and fail than not bother to try.

 

And now my Rover is leaking water from it's stupid steel water pipe.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

For me, Autoshite is about beating the system, but without driving junk.  I define junk as being a 13 year old Mondeo or Vectra (see also: Golf, Focus, Astra) that's rotten, uses oil, no air con, tatty, smells, bits don't work etc. There's no need to drive around in scrap when you can buy something pretty decent for 500 quid or less. Fuck me, there's a Vectra estate with bugger all miles on here, eight years old, £1000. 

 

Some folk get off on driving around in shit, but it's not for me. Why would you do it to yourself?

 

To me, £2500 is the upper limit. You can have a really nice plush car for that - 2003 E60 525i or W211 E240 etc. At that figure, you can break the car for spares and get most of your coins back but £5000 for me is a danger area - too dear to scrap, but you're trapped into a car where used bits are $$$$

 

I look at ten grand plus cars and think of the owner....are you fucking mad? Of course, if I were to win the lottery things would be different, but I haven't.

 

I MOT'd my 318Ti yesterday. It failed on a couple of ARB drop links.............£9 for two new ones, 40 mins to fit, free retest on the £25 MOT and sorted.

[John F]

I am not miffed a bit,  I put effort into that Wikifuck attempt but I'd rather try and fail than not bother to try.

 

And now my Rover is leaking water from it's stupid steel water pipe.

 

I copied the last attempt at a Wikipedia article before they deleted it